Chapter 33 - The Curse That Breaks Only After Doing It
After Ishtar suddenly appeared and neatly sorted out the whole mess. So, Bilena's furniture guards started sparking and breaking down on their own. And to me... fuck... she issued some kind of command that's impossible to put into words. Bilena, who had heard it all and fainted from the shock, gazed at her fondly. Then she returned to her own realm and vanished.
Thirty minutes later. Right now.
"Ughhh."
Bilena staggered out, trembling all over. Clutching the hand of Monica, who was smiling sweetly. Under the chandelier lights flickering from the goddess's scolding.
"This... this is insane. What the hell kind of plot twist is this?"
Bilena, dressed in her sleepwear pajamas, hesitated as she approached, then squeezed her eyes shut when she bumped into my bare chest. Now that I could see her clearly without the shadows, Bilena looked like some small albino animal that stirred protective instincts. A snow fox. A hamster. Or maybe a white mouse. Somewhere in that range.
In other words, not the image that suited that old-man speech pattern of "thus" and "hither" from earlier. More like a slightly chubby, pretty academy student. If you ignored the messy bedhead from her all-nighter and the instant noodle seasoning smudged on her cheek.
...Being this neglectful of self-care and still cute is a talent in itself. She was definitely the scary person who tried to change my gender just moments ago, but now my heart was even skipping beats.
But Bilena's feelings probably weren't the same as mine.
"Bilena sunbae-nim. Um... can I just call you Bilena?"
"This is crazy. Crazy. I'm telling you, it's crazy."
"We have to do it. There's no other way."
"Why do I have to... with a guy I just met today..."
"She said if we don't cum inside five times within five hours, she'll bring down divine punishment. And that 'what kind of punishment it'll be is left to the scholar's imagination.' You heard it too, right?"
Honestly, even saying that out loud took a lot of courage from me. Ishtar's absurd demand. To save her from that curse, I'd have to pin Bilena down as soon as possible—but was that rescue or rape?
Bilena quietly lifted the hem of her pajama top and tugged down the waistband of her pants. Her white lower belly came into view. I flinched and turned my head away, but I caught a glimpse anyway. A pink-glowing seal etched on her lower abdomen, just like a succubus's. And red marks left on her pale skin from rubbing it so hard, thinking it was some trick that would wipe off.
Her dark circles, which had been thin as threads, thickened into panda rings.
"This is a dream. There's no way some crazy god I don't even know would draw this on my body!"
The archaic scholar speech was nowhere to be found. Guess that was just a concept she thought suited her.
"No, this is reality. It's karmic retribution for mistreating your guest—and your comrade. Take it sweetly."
Monica delivered the blunt truth matter-of-factly, while spreading her priestess robe on the carpet like a blanket.
Bilena's mansion was a chaotic mess that was hard to even deal with—barely managing to clear the living room by shoving the junk aside. The only sofa was still occupied by the dead-drunk Nidroga. The tables were crammed full of experiment tools.
So the only spot left for a man and woman to tangle comfortably was on the living room carpet.
"Why do you think no one but Nidroga ever finds their way to your hideout? Because you prank your party members who reach out first, ignore them, treat them like lab rats. And today, you even tried to change one person's gender for a reason only you knew."
"I-I was just trying to protect the party from the porter—"
"Is that really the reason? Were you always so obsessed with justice?"
"C-Couldn't we... go find a hotel? This doesn't seem like a good spot for a first time. My place is too filthy—"
"Earlier you said the house was better, so we'd do it here?"
Esen, covered in dust, aimed a broom at Bilena.
"Fuck, we went through all that trouble cleaning up, and now you say you can't do it here? No excuses, you crazy bitch! You think we don't know you're scared shitless to step outside?"
"B-But—"
"Make up your mind. Inside or outside? We don't have time to waste! You think creampieing five times in five hours is easy?"
Bilena yanked at her hair, her face beet red.
"...Is that hard?"
"Be grateful your partner's Tan. If he didn't have the stamina for five rounds straight, you'd be turned into a woman for good and done for when the goddess descended. Though none of this would've happened if you hadn't messed with Tan."
Esen grumbled, pretending to sweep the floor as she turned away. She looked kinda sad.
...My chest hurts too. Damn it. Feels like I've betrayed her big time. Maybe that's what she's thinking. If not for all these Ishtar-related incidents, I would've been hers alone, no one else's.
I used to dream as a kid of spending my life with the first girl I fell for, just like the grown-ups.
What the hell am I doing?
"A-Are we doing it or not?!"
I snapped back to reality from my thoughts. Bilena was sitting on the robe-blanket, screaming in a terrified voice. Guess she didn't want to defy a god and die screaming from the curse.
...But despite her words, her legs were clamped shut, arms hugging them tight. This wasn't gonna be easy.
Monica, who'd been quiet, calmly grabbed her limbs to spread and lay her down. Smiling, but pissed.
"Relax your posture first. You know what happens if you don't."
"J-Just buying a little time won't kill me right away! Damn it, you sluts are used to this, but it's my first time! Give me a sec to mentally prepare—!"
"She said you don't know what'll happen. And there's no time. You always talk about living rationally—why act stupid now?"
"B-But! Five times without pulling out means... getting pregnant...!"
"What're the condoms and priestess blessings for? Think the contraception prayer looks like dick to you?"
Suddenly, a book flew straight at Bilena's head. With Esen's shout.
"Faking it, you cunt."
It smacked her forehead with a crisp thwack. Bilena reflexively grabbed the pages raining down on her face. Then her expression went even paler at the content.
It was some colorful, cutesy-covered book. Totally unlike the brick-thick, monochrome academic tomes crammed everywhere in Bilena's house.
...The title: Eaten by the Wolf at the End of Spring. What the...?
"Wh-Where'd you find this?!"
"While cleaning, idiot. Author 'Cargo Romantica'? Killer with the steamy descriptions. Didn't know you read this stuff besides porter novels?"
As Bilena tried to hide volume 2 behind her butt, Esen whacked her head again with volume 1.
Bilena, scalp tingling, soon forgot the pain.
"Check this in the middle of volume 1. 'This novel is trash written solely to satisfy ajumma fantasies, proven by how all conflicts resolve in just 80 pages with the heroine banging a huge-dicked hunk...' Did you write this yourself, Bilena?"
Esen showed her the scribbled words. Probably jotted down drunk on a blank page—crooked handwriting contrasting the pretty script of the copied smut novel. Ink smudges like spilled booze or tears.
Bilena lunged clumsily to snatch it back, but with no athletic training, her movements were sloppy. Esen pinned her forehead with one hand easily. Then flipped to the last page with a flourish.
"And the end's even better. 'Fuck, this pisses me off. Why don't I have even one guy friend? Closest thing to a boyfriend's my left and right hands. Wanna kill myself for real.'"
"Yaaaaaa—!"
"Shouldn't have gone to women's academy. So unfair. Ah, wanna fuck. Why can't I fuck? I wanna roll around with a huge-dicked hottie who digs me like in the novels too, damn it..."
Bilena wailed desperately, clinging to Esen's legs in resistance. Esen read on relentlessly, with the persistence and cruelty of a murderer. Kinda traumatic. Reminds me of Adamanthon bullying me.
"Saw you bought all 21 volumes up to the finale? If you enjoyed it that much, just own up. What're you doing?"
"Y-You—!"
"Other pages are worse. 'Men are untrustworthy creatures.' 'All the men in romance novels are dead; only porter-criminal types roam the world. I'm here to fix that.' 'Heard about Bitsurk from the party. Intriguing. Maybe time to put my long plan into action.'"
"...Yeah. In crude terms, I wanted to give a 'proper education'! Invent a way to purify dirty male sexuality! What's wrong with that?!"
"Everything from start to finish. Why try to castrate the porter when we like him? Enough digging through your loner notes."
Esen wrapped up her recitation with academy bully vibes.
"And let's be real—with your personality, you think a nice, decent guy with a usable dick's just gonna come knocking? Less likely than you getting struck by lightning. Think about it—this is your chance, you ajumma!"
"What bullshit is that?! None of your business! I'll handle it myself!"
"Your future's one of two paths as I see it. Stick to the creepy dangerous scholar act till you're shunned by society and die a virgin granny. Or get screwed over—literally—by some lazy fuck who only wants your pretty face, body, and money, leaving you broken body and soul. Better than that..."
Esen yanked my shoulder closer, then grabbed my cheeks and shoved me forward like introducing merchandise.
"...is using this guy to break it. He's decent-looking, good body, hardworking, kind."
"...Am I some new product, Esen? Selling goods?"
"Think, Bilena. What if you get cursed to 'never be able to do it again'? Struck by lightning outta nowhere? Or your pussy vanishes from between your legs?"
The first was horrific; the second, worse. As a lust goddess, she could probably pull that off.
I glanced at Monica, who just gave an enigmatic smile.
...It could really happen?
"Don't talk so vulgarly!"
"Then this might be your last chance. Wanna die a virgin? I'm graciously sharing mine. Even for saving a comrade, this ain't easy. Decide quick."
After a moment's silence, Bilena steeled herself and shook her lowered head.
"No."
"Fine, we'll help. Let's start. No more dragging."
"...He's really hardworking and kind? If what I overheard is true, he's already messed with two party members."
"Sure, he's two-timing, but that's not his fault."
"How?"
"Too long to explain. Time limit might run out. Blame the 'goddess' you just saw."
Bilena flinched and crawled toward me on her knees. And... out of nowhere, tried to bite my zipper and pull it down.
Her clumsy move made me freak out and back away.
"Hesitating all this time, then suddenly that bold?"
"...Isn't that how it starts?"
"N-No...?"
Flustered, Bilena reverted to her initial turtle-shell defensive pose. Esen, staring blankly, picked up the smut novel volume 1 again. And tormented her by reading aloud once more.
"The man harboring a mighty trunk beneath a layer of cloth said, 'That's how it is, my lambkin. That's how you undress it.' Called 'lambkin,' she could resist no longer. In the end, she bit his zipper, struggling to tug his pants down—"
...Definitely not my taste.
Bilena begged like she was dying.
"Please... stop...! Stop reading...! I'll do it! Just stop!"
"You didn't seriously read nothing but this genre and buy into it, did you?"
Esen sighed deeply, looking down at Bilena—who was on the verge of bawling her eyes and nose out.
"This bitch's virgin density's worse than Tan's..."
Why me?
—————
After they stopped hurting each other for a bit and some communication happened, Bilena finally got that she didn't need to "lambkin" the zipper down.
"Lambkin, fuck. Gonna tease her forever."
"Argh—!"
"Esen, enough. You trying to get revenge later?"
I just undressed myself, while Bilena got help from Esen and Monica down to her underwear.
"Look at her stripping so slowly. Think Nenya and Nidroga'll be grannies before you're done, sloth?"
"We said no more scolding, Esen. No matter how mad you are from her pranks."
Bilena's stiff, frozen skin was white in a different way from Monica's. Monica's whiteness didn't fade even in the sun, but Bilena looked like she'd never seen sunlight—like a princess locked in a tower.
"W-Well then, please treat me kindly."
"...Me too, please?"
Her sudden formal speech laid bare her bewilderment and trembling. Then she braced on the floor, burst into tears, and revealed pure terror.
The mad scholar mask was gone.
"...Please save me. I don't wanna die a virgin, waaah..."
"Y-Yeah, yeah. I'll thrust ri— No, let's start..."