An Honest Conversation (2)
There was, of course, a reason Erinn had broken down in tears.
“…I wish you’d asked a little earlier.”
When those words left Albrecht’s mouth, they struck Erinn in a completely different way.
To her, that single sentence was not a simple wish. It sounded like he was saying that if she had asked sooner, their relationship would have turned out differently.
It was less that Erinn was overreacting and more that the situation left her no other way to hear it.
She and the others had come here for the obvious purpose of asking him to return to the party. For him to answer like that could only mean he had no intention of doing so.
Hearing the worst-case scenario she had only ever imagined now delivered as reality, her mind went completely blank. She finally understood what people meant when they said their head felt like a sheet of white paper.
Just like a blank canvas, nothing came to her at all.
The only emotion rising in Erinn’s heart right now was one. And the only words that slipped from her lips were the same.
“…Does that mean…….”
You’re saying goodbye to me for good?
She could not bring herself to finish the sentence out loud. Saying it would make everything truly over.
The thought left her not even knowing what she was supposed to say. Her head drooped of its own accord, and she found herself staring blankly at the floor.
Even Erinn herself had not known she was capable of such rapid emotional swings. She had always considered herself quite composed, and the people around her had agreed.
But right now she could not hold on to that composure no matter how hard she tried. She did not want this either, yet she could not stop her vision from blurring.
…No. To be honest, she did not want to stop it.
Now that he had actually said he was leaving, she finally felt she could speak honestly.
This was Erinn’s third life, yet the position of party leader had always been a heavy burden. And that was not all. She was the Hero.
Being a Hero was not simply a title for someone strong. Their purpose was to one day crush the mighty Demon King’s army and take the Demon King’s head.
The weight that came with that was something any human would carry, even after living three lives. So Erinn had always lived far from honesty.
Even in her second life, if she had firmly held on to Allen before he ruined the party, things might never have gone that way… yet she had not. Because she was the Hero and the party’s leader, she had lived by hiding her feelings.
For someone like her, this moment was a rare chance to bare her emotions. More precisely, she had no choice but to bare them.
She was tired of burying her heart, and if she did not speak honestly now, he might never come back.
The result was this.
“Hic… uuh….”
Erinn let tears thick with mixed emotions fall one after another. From the moment she had gone from an ordinary country girl to the Hero in her first life, she had lived a life far removed from tears.
Even when Allen was badly hurt, even when she learned that Albrecht had entered his body because of her choice, even when her own life had ended—she had never cried.
But now she could not stop the tears. Not even when Albrecht stared at her in clear panic, not even when the others tried to soothe her.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry….”
All she could manage was an apology in a voice thick with sobs.
Albrecht looked thoroughly flustered. Of course he did. How bewildering and absurd must it be to have a party member suddenly show up and start crying?
“I… hic, I was wrong… From now on I won’t ignore you or… hnn… do weird things….”
Erinn would have accepted any words. All she wanted was for him to take back the meaning of what he had just said.
“So… hic, so….”
She stretched out trembling hands. With her eyes red and her pretty face ruined by tears, she weakly caught hold of his forearm.
“Just… don’t say you’re leaving… Don’t say that…….”
“…….”
Albrecht’s eyes went round.
The first thought that rose was a simple why. Why was Erinn saying this?
The biggest reason he had left the party had, of course, been Erinn herself. She had loved Allen, the original owner of the body he now occupied.
He had assumed she would find it uncomfortable to deal with a different person in the same body, and Erinn had seemed to share that view.
But this….
Albrecht tried to interpret her behavior as carefully as he could. And from a past conversation with her, one possibility surfaced.
Was it to get me off the battlefield?
Erinn had told him to return to ordinary life and live in peace.
If that had actually been a way to send him away, and if telling him to leave because she was uncomfortable had only been to keep from burdening his heart… if even the thanks she had given when he said he was leaving the party had been an act….
It was an extremely self-serving interpretation, but Albrecht could find no other reasonable explanation.
“…Erinn.”
“Hic… uuh….”
“A-Albrecht.”
Just then Letisia knelt lightly in front of him. From beside the weeping Erinn, she added her own words.
“Please… think about it just one more time.”
“…What?”
“Whether you wanted to leave the party… or whether you felt you had no choice but to leave….”
Letisia spoke.
“…We would like you to stay with us.”
“…….”
She lent her strength to Erinn’s heart. And Freya was no different.
“I… also hope you’ll reconsider. Whatever decision you make, I’ll accept it, but… couldn’t you think about it just once more?”
Freya’s eyes were desperately earnest. And it was not only them. Ser-Aria, who until moments ago had been drinking as if she had not a thought in her head, actually set her bottle down and spoke.
“…I also… if you’re all right with it, Albrecht, I’d like you to rejoin us.”
Her voice was remarkably solemn. It was hard to believe this was the same person who had just been laughing, “They’re kissing!”
At their pleas, Clara showed open bewilderment, and Albrecht’s reaction was similar. But unlike Clara, who was simply startled, Albrecht’s expression was deeply confused.
“…This is sudden.”
That short remark held a great many feelings. He wanted to say more, but he could not find any better way to put it.
Everything was sudden.
The party members acting like this. Clara’s confession of affection too.
If anything, Clara’s affection felt less abrupt. Looking back, she had been dropping rather obvious hints all along.
“…Erinn.”
“Hic… uuh… yeah….”
“Let’s try to calm down first. Crying like this isn’t like you, is it?”
“…Hic, I’m sorry….”
“You don’t need to be sorry… Once you’ve settled down, let’s talk.”
Albrecht looked around at them. Taking in the gazes of the party members—so different from when he had left—he said,
“I think we need to have an honest conversation.”
It took quite a while for Erinn to calm down. I was flustered myself. That Erinn could cry so heartbrokenly, and struggle so hard just to stop the tears….
I even wondered if she was seeing Allen in me. But no. Erinn was looking straight at me.
When someone looks at you and sees another person, the one being looked at can usually feel it, even if no one else can.
So why was Erinn crying like this while looking at me—not Allen?
It was not pure apology alone. Anyone could see that. There was plenty of regret in her tears, but something thicker and deeper ran through them as well.
If my earlier guess was right, and Erinn had never wanted me to leave in the first place… I still did not understand the reason. I needed to hear it properly.
Soon Erinn, mostly recovered, wiped away the last tear clinging to her eye and said,
“…Sorry. I made a scene.”
“…It’s fine.”
I had been looking out the window for a moment; now I sat down. Letisia and Freya took their seats as well, both looking a little tense yet carrying a kind of quiet earnestness. Ser-Aria was beside them.
Wanting to lighten the slightly heavy atmosphere, I tossed her a joke.
“What’s with you not drinking?”
“I can read a room, Albrecht.”
…You can? I felt like I had just learned something truly astonishing.
“So, Albrecht. What kind of honest conversation did you want to hear?”
“What do you mean….”
“These kids’ hearts?”
Huh? Well….
“If it’s their hearts, then yeah.”
“Got it.”
Ser-Aria nodded as if she understood and looked to the side. Then she opened her mouth first.
“…Honestly, Albrecht, I was against you leaving the party from the start.”
“Huh?”
“We were the ones who put you in that body. Just because dealing with you was awkward didn’t mean we should kick you out of the party. That’s what I thought.”
Ser-Aria continued.
“I’m not going to claim I actively opposed it. It was just my opinion. Real opposition would have meant acting like Clara, who stayed by your side the whole time.”
“….”
“So I’m not much better than the rest of them. The only reason I’m saying this is because I wanted you to know I never felt uncomfortable having you in the party.”
She finished and added one last line.
“That’s how I really feel.”
To be honest, I was more than a little surprised. I had thought Ser-Aria had let me go without a second thought, yet she had been against it.
Just hearing that made something warm rise in my chest. So I really had been a comrade to them after all.
“That’s my piece. Now it’s these kids’ turn….”
Ser-Aria said that and looked to the side again. Under her gaze, Erinn, Letisia, and even Freya flinched for some reason.
Watching them, Ser-Aria said,
“You’d better speak honestly.”
As if she were genuinely advising them.
“No point leaving regrets, right?”
“….”
“Though it does feel a bit late….”
As she spoke, Ser-Aria looked at Clara. Sensing the gaze, Clara flinched in surprise.
I was still wondering why she was startled when Ser-Aria added,
“Well, there are plenty of polygamous countries.”
“!”
“…?”
What on earth was that out-of-nowhere remark? Why bring up polygamous countries all of a sudden?
True, the Shah Zar Kingdom was one, and given the setting there were plenty of them… but what did that have to do with the conversation right now?
Still not understanding, I turned to Freya for the moment.
And I asked. Just as Ser-Aria had spoken for herself, I needed Freya to tell me honestly why she wanted me back in the party. Only then could I make sense of this situation.
“Freya, then why do you want me to come back?”
Freya hesitated a little, then said,
“I… I didn’t really understand at first.”
“Hm?”
“At first I didn’t know, but….”
Her face flushed faintly. Then, as if confessing a secret, she cried out,
“W-when you look at me, Albrecht, it feels completely different from when anyone else looks at me!!”
“……?”
…What?