Eternal Regret (1)
Erinn, Hero of the Holy Sword.
She who had been nothing more than a country girl became a hero because she was chosen by the Holy Sword—the strongest and greatest among all the holy armaments.
After the Holy Sword selected her, she completely mastered the Hegemon Sword Art in an astonishingly short span of time. It had been a mere year since she was chosen as the Hero.
The blessing that elevated her physical abilities upon being chosen by the Holy Sword played a part, as did the fact that she was the sole living successor of the Hegemon Sword Art among humanity… yet there was another reason behind such rapid growth.
This was Erinn’s third life.
In her first life, she lived as an ordinary country girl, became a hero utterly unprepared, and died without achieving any great feats. Her party companions had not been particularly outstanding to begin with, and Erinn herself had never been nearly as strong as she was now.
Having risen from a simple country girl destined for an ordinary fate to a shining hero, only for it all to end so emptily—Erinn let out a hollow laugh as death approached.
I wanted to make a grand name for myself as a hero and return home in glory.
Yet she was going to die in a mere dungeon like this.
Regrets lingered. Attachments lingered. A great many of them.
Perhaps that was why Erinn’s life did not end there.
The instant the massive Basilisk King’s claw pierced her throat, she found herself back as the ordinary country girl Erinn once more.
Somehow, she had been given a new chance.
…I can’t die so emptily again this time.
Nothing would be more miserable than tasting the same failure again.
So this time she prepared even before becoming a hero.
She deliberately took on the hardest labor to build her stamina, and sought out her master—whom she had only met after becoming a hero in her first life—much earlier to learn the Hegemon Sword Art.
When she set out on her journey as a hero, she started differently as well.
Unlike before, when she had left alone, this time she began with her trustworthy childhood friend, Allen.
She also sought out and gathered companions who would make excellent party members. It was not that she did not miss the companions from her first life, but she knew that gathering them again would only lead to the same miserable death.
So Erinn went directly to outstanding party members and persuaded them to join.
In the process, Erinn learned one thing: the reason she had been able to begin her second life.
It was when she recruited Freya, the Saintess of Myeongsin Vita, as a companion. Freya, the true Saintess favored by Vita, knew the moment she saw Erinn that something was wrong with her.
“You.”
“…Yes?”
“Your remaining lifespan looks strange. Could this not be your first life?”
To Freya, Erinn’s lifespan appeared different from ordinary people’s. A normal person’s lifespan, even with its twists and turns, stretched out as a single long thread… but Erinn’s looked like multiple strands of thread tangled together.
Yes—Erinn starting a new life was no coincidence.
She had been destined for it from the beginning. Regardless of her own will, she was a human who had to live multiple lives.
“You’ve received Vita’s blessing… no, her curse.”
It was an extremely blasphemous remark coming from the mouth of the Saintess of Myeongsin Vita. But Freya spoke without concern.
“I’ll go with you. And if you end up living yet another new life in the future… come find me again then.”
“…Is that really okay?”
“I at least need to see how you live your life. As a Saintess, I can’t simply turn a blind eye to someone caught up in Her whims.”
Starting with Freya, Erinn gathered all the other party members. The current party members were the same ones she had assembled once in her second life.
Divine Archer Ser-Aria.
Spirit Mage Letisia.
Saintess Freya.
The nameless thief.
And Porter Allen.
Erinn believed that with a party of this caliber there would surely be no problems, that they could achieve great things. Indeed, in the early days they advanced triumphantly and made their presence known.
But this time as well, that momentum did not last to the end.
Was it because the party’s combat power was insufficient?
No.
Because of the Hero’s lack of capability?
No.
Compared to her current third life it might have been a bit lacking, but that was far from the fundamental reason.
The factor behind that defeat was one person.
Erinn had thought he would be her mental support, and that he would be happy by the side of someone he was close to and cherished.
But it was nothing of the sort. That was merely her delusion.
Erinn did not know, and perhaps Allen himself did not know either. If they had lived as ordinary country girl Erinn and country youth Allen, they might never have known their whole lives.
That Allen’s inferiority complex would be so severe.
That that inferiority complex would turn Allen into a monster…
No one had imagined it.
Perhaps because they trusted Allen, they could not think of it—or rather… they might have been looking away.
Wanting to believe in Allen, she might have unconsciously pretended not to notice as he drove wedges between the party members.
“Erinn, I can’t stay in the same party as her. Honestly, I don’t even want to fight alongside her.”
“That’s my line, Letisia.”
“What? You’re in no position to say that!”
By the time Allen had sown discord and bewitched the party members, turning even them into nothing more than foolish humans, it was already too late.
The reason he did so was solely because of his inferiority complex.
While the other party members were all making names for themselves, achieving fame and advancing triumphantly, he alone could only do menial tasks like packing luggage and cooking meals… that was the cause of his inferiority complex.
It was not as if Erinn or the party members had ignored Allen simply because he was a porter. Yet he seemed to feel a sense of inadequacy anyway.
If there was any silver lining, Freya seemed to have noticed Allen’s attitude early on and kept her distance… but the others could not.
When the trust among the party members collapsed, the party could no longer function properly… and at that point, they encountered a corps commander of the Demon King’s army.
Naturally, they suffered a crushing defeat.
Erinn herself and the party members were all torn to shreds horribly. Erinn’s second life ended at that point.
And this third life she was now living.
This time, she had intended not to bring Allen along. If he joined the party, it was obvious they would face the same future as in the second life.
So Erinn prepared even earlier. She built the mental fortitude not to collapse even without Allen, and honed her strength further so she would not have to struggle so much. She sought out her master even earlier as well.
As a result, she was not able to create many of the memories she had made in the countryside in her first and second lives, but even so, Erinn held no complaints.
Because this was the right choice.
Thus Erinn became a hero once more. And this time, like in her first life, she intended to leave the village alone.
But lo and behold.
“Take me with you, Erinn.”
This time, without her even saying she would take him, Allen was the first to ask Erinn to take him along.
Erinn agonized deeply. Whether to take him or leave him in the village.
Objectively speaking, Erinn believed leaving Allen in the village was the correct decision.
So she tried to shake him off, but Allen uttered words Erinn could not simply brush aside.
“If you’re not there, I have no reason to live.”
Those words were a powerful shackle and a curse upon Erinn.
Even living through two lives, Erinn had never once forgotten Allen.
To the point that throughout those two lives, she had never once engaged in physical relations with anyone else. Because she had vowed to give herself to him when they were truly connected in heart someday.
When someone like that said he would die without her, how could she refuse?
No matter how much disappointment she had accumulated through two lives, and how her affection was no longer what it once was…
Her head said no, but her heart could not answer that way.
“…Alright.”
And so she took Allen along once more.
But this time was a little different. Although she had set out on the journey with Allen contrary to her original plan, she had no intention of repeating the same things.
If he tried to ruin the party like in the second life, Erinn had no intention of letting it slide gently.
Even if it meant cutting him down with her own hands, she vowed to prevent the party from collapsing. And there was also a sliver of hope that perhaps in this life, Allen might act a little differently.
Unfortunately, the latter was nothing more than Erinn’s earnest wish.
Allen soon became steeped in inferiority complex like in his previous life and began sowing discord among the party members. Having already experienced what ending awaited if she left such a situation unchecked, Erinn could not endure and overlook it.
“Allen, you idiot! What the hell have you been doing to the party members lately!?”
“…What did I do?”
“I heard you laid hands on the thief this time! And not long ago you were hitting on Letisia, saying you liked her or whatever… spouting that crap!”
“…So what? I can like Letisia if I want.”
Even under Erinn’s scolding, Allen spoke brazenly.
“I might have taken an interest in the thief too.”
Hearing those words from Allen, Erinn could not let it pass. Separate from her own feelings for Allen, his words were no different from saying he would toy with her precious party members.
Allen might not know it now, but those words were no different from saying he would shatter the party’s trust once more. Having already experienced what result that led to, Erinn could not possibly stand by and watch it happen.
She sensed that words alone would not work. Even though Erinn had spoken angrily from the start, Allen was not even listening with half an ear, so she could tell.
To him, Erinn was still not Hero Erinn, but merely the country girl Erinn.
So she had no choice but to make him realize.
That Erinn was no longer the easy country girl to him.
And that if he intended to stay in this party, whose words he needed to listen to.
Crack!
“…E-Erinn?”
“Allen, I can forgive anything else. Even if you flirt with other women, but…”
Erinn drove the Holy Sword into the ground right beside Allen’s face as she issued a strong warning.
“I won’t forgive anyone who tries to ruin my party.”
“…So that’s when you used the soul-swapping magic? And that’s why I’m here now?”
At my question, Erinn shook her head slightly.
“Whether that warning worked or not, he was quiet for a while, so there was no need.”
“…Surprisingly effective, huh.”
“I suppose it would be. The girl who had always just smiled at him and acted obediently had drawn a sword and threatened his life…”
Erinn smiled bitterly, as if mocking her past self.
“But it didn’t last long.”
Erinn said.
“People really don’t change easily.”