The Somehow Strange Hero's Party (2)

“Ugh….”

I woke up in the tavern just as dawn was breaking.

In the end I never managed to slip out midway through the night. Ser-Aria had latched onto me and poured drinks down my throat until I was completely wasted.

Letisia, Freya, and the thief were nowhere to be seen. They were probably all back at the inn. The only ones left here were the alcoholic elf and the hero, who was strong enough with liquor that she often kept her company.

Both of them were dead drunk, sprawled face-down across the table and snoring away. We were supposed to head into a dungeon in just two or three hours….

“And they still drank themselves stupid. Crazy bitches….”

“Heheh… Allen….”

“!!”

…Jesus Christ, nearly gave me a heart attack. I thought she’d woken up because she heard me. Turns out it was just sleep-talking.

Going into a dungeon with these two felt like a death sentence. Honestly, who in their right mind would think it was safe to fight while still blackout drunk at dawn…?

But… as much as I hated to admit it, their abilities were absurdly outstanding. Exactly the high-tier character party I’d carefully selected myself.

Even a casual glance at the status window spat out ridiculous numbers and a mountain of traits. This was the kind of status that screamed “this is what a real hero looks like.” Compared to my pathetic stats, it was almost insulting.

Given my background, I’d built up a decent amount of muscle from endless farm work, yet my strength still only hit 70… while this tiny little brat was sitting at 300.

…And why did the traits come out with those martial-arts-novel-style Chinese-character names, while only the people’s names were in English? It bugged me every single time I looked.

Was the hero the only one living in a completely different league? Not even close.

Just look at the alcoholic elf sitting right here….

Hers was just as insane.

When it came to agility, the alcoholic archer actually outclassed the hero by a wide margin.

She was already famous among the public as the Divine Archer, and I’d heard that title wasn’t something she’d given herself—it was officially recognized by the elf race.

With abilities like these, of course they could drink themselves into a stupor and still treat a small dungeon like a casual stroll. Their stamina stats were high enough that the hangover would vanish in no time.

But that only applied to these geniuses. My situation was completely different.

“Ugh, my head….”

A body that was only a little healthier than an average person’s couldn’t shrug off a hangover. So while fighting through the pounding headache, I still had to finish the supplies I hadn’t managed to buy last night.

Inside a dungeon it was hard to find food or clean water, and there were plenty of extras to pack—spare clothes, medicine, sleeping bags, and more. Once you came back out, things like sleeping bags were completely contaminated, so you had to buy new ones every single time.

I’d planned to stock up yesterday… but these idiots had dragged me off drinking instead. I needed to go buy everything right now.

I was just about to open the tavern door and leave when the owner called out to me.

“Hey, buddy! You just walking out?”

“Huh?”

“You gotta pay for what you drank before you go.”

“Ah… that.”

I stared blankly at Erinn, still face-down on the table. Then I pointed at her.

“She’ll cover it.”

“Huh? Come on, don’t joke around.”

“What do you mean?”

Did she look broke or something? She did look young, so maybe that was it.

But that was a massive misunderstanding. Erinn wasn’t just some damn mesugaki brat—she was the officially recognized Hero of the nation.

“Don’t worry about it. She’s loaded. Do you have any idea how much support money rolls in every month just from the Hero title alone? She could buy this whole place and still have change left over.”

“That’s not it. How am I supposed to take money from the Hero?”

“Excuse me?”

A second ago he’d been demanding payment.

Yet the tavern owner spoke as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, looking at me like I’d said something completely stupid.

“The Hero’s the one who protects our lives, right? And the lady over there is the Divine Archer, one of her companions. Thanks to them we get so much help—how could I charge them for food and drink?”

“Oh… that’s a really nice way of thinking.”

So then….

“Then why are you asking me for money…?”

“Well, I still gotta collect for what you drank.”

“Huh?”

What the hell was this now.

“Uh… I’m their companion too, you know.”

“Mm, but you’re just the porter, right? Not a fighter.”

…That was true.

“…Didn’t you just ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠say you don’t charge the Hero and her companions?”

“That’s because those two risk their lives fighting to protect us. You’re just the guy who does the grunt work. Honestly, conscience-wise, you should pay.”

Discriminating against a fellow party member like this and talking about conscience… I wanted to give him a piece of my mind.

But picking a fight with this guy wouldn’t do me any good. If I acted rashly and caused trouble for the party, there was no telling how these damn lunatics would deal with me.

“…How much? For what I drank.”

“Twenty silver and twenty-five copper.”

“What? How does booze and snacks add up to over twenty silver?”

“You were drinking some pretty high-end stuff with the Hero’s party. I’m not ripping you off, so don’t worry. I’d have to be crazy to overcharge the Hero’s party.”

As he spoke, the owner showed me the label still stuck to the cask. Judging by the knowledge I’d gained from transmigrating, yeah—what we’d been drinking was expensive. And we’d been downing the whole thing all night….

…Still, I don’t think I drank that much myself.

Most of it had gone into this mesugaki and the alcoholic lush. But the ones who could prove it were still snoring away.

…It felt a little unfair, but what could I do?

I pulled out my coin purse from my back pocket and counted out exactly twenty silver and twenty-five copper.

“Thanks, buddy.”

“…Whatever.”

Thanks my ass….

I’d just finished paying and was about to go do my job when—

“……Hey!!!”

Someone suddenly shouted from behind me. That sharp, high-pitched voice….

“…Yes?”

The same voice that instantly made the tavern owner—who’d been casually calling me “buddy”—switch to polite speech.

“You! What did you just say!”

It was Hero Erinn.

Her pupils were still unfocused like a complete idiot’s, so she clearly hadn’t sobered up yet. Why she’d woken up, I had no idea.

I didn’t think we’d made that much noise.

But the mesugaki hero suddenly stomped over to the owner, jabbing her finger into his chest and starting to lecture him.

“You… just now… were you bullying our Heojeop?”

“Huh? Ah, no. I never did anything like that, Hero….”

“You did bully him!! Just now you told this Heojeop… that he wasn’t a companion or whatever!!”

Her tongue was so twisted she could barely pronounce the words, yet she was suddenly raging at the tavern owner. Even though the guy was twice her size, she completely crushed him with sheer presence.

“Because you’re the Hero… because you’re the Hero’s companion… you said you wouldn’t take money… then you shouldn’t take it from him either!!”

“Ah, th-that is….”

Erinn finished speaking and rummaged through her pocket. Then she pulled a single large gold coin out of some pouch.

“Take it!”

“…Huh? Ah, no….”

“I said take it! Not enough? No way… this is enough to buy this whole shop and still have leftover….”

“Th-that’s why I can’t take it! It’s far too much…!”

One gold coin was worth roughly two hundred silver.

Even after all the expensive liquor we’d downed, the bill had only been twenty silver. One gold coin was enough to eat and drink like that for ten straight days.

“Ah, just take it already! And from now on don’t pull this boring crap again! Got it?”

“No, but….”

The ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠tavern owner glanced awkwardly at me, then back at the gold coin Erinn was holding out. He closed his eyes for a second and bowed his head.

“…Sorry about that, buddy.”

“…It’s fine. You probably lost a lot of other customers because of us last night anyway. Just take it.”

She’s loaded either way.

The owner accepted the gold coin Erinn offered and bowed deeply. Erinn snorted, then strode straight out of the tavern without looking back.

“Uh, what about that one…?”

The owner’s suddenly respectful tone almost made me snort. I forced the laugh down and answered.

“…Just leave her.”

She’ll come back on her own.

“Yes….”

“Thanks for the hospitality.”

I left the tavern right after. If I wanted to finish the supplies, I needed to move quickly from here on….

“You Heojeop♡”

…A moment ago she’d covered for me by calling me a companion and I’d felt a tiny bit moved, but that feeling shattered the second I heard that tone. The second we stepped outside the tavern, the mental illness started up again.

“You could’ve just said it straight… why’d you let yourself get treated like a sucker~? You look like such a loser♡”

“…What else was I supposed to do? If I made a scene with that guy, it’d only hurt the party. No upside.”

Fighting with the owner here would only leave more stains on me and the Hero’s party. The only ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠possible benefit ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠was feeling a little better… and even that wouldn’t fully clear the air.

Erinn fell silent for a moment after hearing my thoughts.

Had she actually been impressed by what I just said? Maybe I could even hope for a slight improvement in her speech?

“…Heeh, look at you having such admirable thoughts~? Does a Heojeop like you think you’re actually somebody? So full of yourself~♡”

…Of course not. Better to drop the pointless hope and just get on with my work.

“I’m gonna hit a few shops.”

“You still haven’t done it? Being a Heojeop is one thing, but being lazy on top of that makes you completely hopeless♡”

“…I was going to do it last night, but you guys dragged me off to drink.”

“Men who make excuses are so unappetizing~♡”

Fucking bitch… if I’d refused to drink she would’ve said something else entirely.

Whether she knew how I felt or not, the damn mesugaki hero just kept giggling.

Why the hell had the characters I’d carefully selected ended up with personalities like this….

“Then I’ll head back to the inn first?”

“…Yeah, you should. Were you planning to tag along?”

“Hmm? Why would I~?”

Then why did you even ask, you brat.

“…Well, if you really want me to, I could go with you~? Even this town might be a little dangerous for a Heojeop♡”

“No, I don’t particularly want that.”

Bringing her along would only make things a little safer—nothing else useful. Given her personality, there was zero chance she’d carry any of the luggage for me….

Thud!

“Ow!”

She suddenly kicked me in the shin.

I looked at her, wondering what the hell this damn mesugaki was doing, only to find her staring back with a vaguely sulky expression. Then she spun around and stomped off toward the inn.

“…??”

I spent a long time trying to figure out what that was about, but no answer came no matter how hard I thought.

…I guess I just had to accept that a crazy bitch had done something crazy-bitch-like.

“…Haa, fuck.”

I needed to hurry up and restock the supplies.

When I returned to the inn with both arms full of purchases, my companions were gathered in the lobby. As I approached, they each greeted me one by one.

“Allen, you’re back already?”

“Wow, you bought a lot. You didn’t get anything yesterday?”

I nodded at Freya and Letisia’s questions. Technically I’d tried and failed, but if I said that, Erinn would probably start yapping again.

Looking around, though, the alcoholic long-ears was missing. I tilted my head and asked.

“What, Aria still isn’t here?”

“Not yet. She’s probably still sleeping at the tavern.”

“It’s about time we woke her up. Allen, could you go get her? We need to talk about how we’re going to fight in the dungeon.”

I nodded at Letisia’s request. The one silver lining in this headcase of a party was that Letisia and Freya could hold normal conversations most of the time.

Though even those two occasionally said completely unhinged things….

“Alright, let me just put this stuff away and I’ll go.”

“Okay, please.”

I climbed the stairs to the second floor, flung open my door, and dumped all the supplies onto the floor.

“Let’s see….”

I opened the completely empty leather pack. Then I started packing the items I was least likely to need first, stacking them neatly. The things I was certain to use today in the dungeon went in last so they’d be easy to pull out.

The food went into a separate bag enchanted with warming magic. A world with magic really was convenient.

“Allen~!”

I was in the middle of organizing when a voice called me from downstairs. It was Letisia. I was almost finished and she was already rushing me. I let out a small sigh, opened the door, and went down.

“You called?”

“Ah, you don’t need to go to the tavern after all. Aria’s here.”

“This Noonim’s right here, Allen!”

Good news. No need to bother dragging her back from the tavern. Ser-Aria laughed heartily and waved at me cheerfully.

“…You’re drinking again.”

“Puhaha! Asking the obvious, Allen.”

She was holding yet another bottle in her hand. From the shape it looked like a small bottle of rum.

“You know Noonim can’t live without this!”

Truly a crazy bitch….

“Still, you shouldn’t drink right before a fight. You know that, right?”

“Of course! I know that perfectly well, Letisia.”

The one who claimed she knew still hadn’t let go of the bottle….

Since the conversation seemed finished, I turned to head back to my room and finish packing. But while Letisia and Ser-Aria were noisily chatting, the thief girl had somehow appeared right in front of me without a sound.

“……!”

“…Allen.”

I had no idea when she’d gotten there. Nearly gave me a heart attack.

“Uh… what’s up?”

“…The thing I asked you for the day before yesterday… did you buy it?”

“Ah, of course. I already packed it.”

A couple of days ago the thief had asked me to get her some snacks. I’d already put them in the food bag. She seemed satisfied with my answer and gave a tiny nod.

“…Thanks.”

Her voice was a little flat, but just hearing a word of thanks was nice.

If she stayed like this she was actually pretty quiet and pleasant amid the rest of the chaotic party members….

“…Why?”

“Huh?”

“Did I… did I do something wrong again…? I-I’m sorry, hic….”

“Huh? Ah, no. I didn’t say anything….”

Why was she suddenly like this!?

That thought hit first, then I belatedly realized what I’d been doing. While thinking about her, I’d been staring at her too intently.

“I… I was bothering you… sorry… I’ll get out of your sight right away….”

“No! I wasn’t thinking that at all!!”

“Hic….”

Crap, I’d raised my voice without meaning to. How a max-level depression case with rock-bottom self-esteem who blamed everything on herself would take my louder tone….

“Hwaaaaaah… I’m sorryyy… I’m sorry for being annoying…….”

…It was painfully predictable.

“Thief? Why are you crying?”

“Huk, Allen made the thief cry.”

“Allen, what did you say this time?”

I literally didn’t do anything….

“Puhaha, looks like Allen put his foot in his mouth again.”

“Be a little more careful, Allen.”

“…Sorry.”

I had no idea why I was the one apologizing, but whatever—I’m sorry. So can you please stop crying?

I watched Freya lead the thief downstairs and a sigh escaped on its own. Ser-Aria and Letisia looked at me and said,

“Try to understand a little when the thief gets like that, Allen. You know, right? She’s got trauma with men and her self-esteem is extremely low.”

“Please be a bit more careful when you speak.”

“…Yeah.”

…Is there seriously no way out of this lunatic party? If I stay here I’m going to develop a mental illness from the stress. I needed to find some way to escape somehow.

Just as that thought crossed my mind, Ser-Aria spoke up.

“I know it’s not your fault, Allen.”

“…What?”

“The situation’s just like that, so it can’t be helped.”

“Finish what you were doing. We’ll head downstairs and wrap up the talk. It should only take about thirty minutes.”

Ser-Aria and Letisia said that and went back down to the lobby.

…This was the reason. The reason I couldn’t immediately ditch the party.

Every now and then these guys actually seemed to treat me like a real companion, so I couldn’t just walk away easily.

And there was also the realistic reason that with my current stats, abandoning them wouldn’t let me do a damn thing on my own.

What the hell could I even accomplish going somewhere with these stats?

Still, it would be nice if I could leave this lunatic party whenever I wanted. At this rate I was going to grab the back of my neck and keel over someday. For real.

To stand on my own with this cursed status and these traits, the first priority was somehow obtaining the hidden pieces of Dungeon in Evil.

Dungeon in Evil was a character-raising RPG, and the performance of the items implemented in the game varied wildly. In any RPG there are good items and bad items—that’s just natural.

Get good items and the game becomes easier; get underperforming ones and it gets a little harder. That was the usual level… but Dungeon in Evil had items so powerful they might as well have been cheats.

Of course they were hidden items that weren’t publicly known… but I’d played Dungeon in Evil quite a lot.

Since I liked hero-adventure RPGs, I’d naturally run through the various difficulties multiple times, so I roughly knew the methods and locations for obtaining the hidden items.

If I got those hidden pieces, even someone who was just Porter A walking by might be able to gain a certain amount of combat power. I might never reach hero level, but still.

Voices from the party members drifted up from below. The meeting seemed to have started.

“…For now, let’s just finish packing.”

Getting into the dungeon came first, so I should finish organizing the luggage.