Don't Touch the Prostate......
Han Somang grabbed me. Even as she slipped on the soap suds, she clung on with all her strength. Not that it mattered—those were just a frail woman's hands. I could shake her off anytime I wanted. I could treat her like a doll if I felt like it. If I wanted to use her like an onahole, all I'd have to do was grab that slender waist and lift her up and down. If I wanted to use her like a punching bag, I could just stand her up and swing my fists. …How the hell could I do that to a woman who kept babbling about salvation and wrapping everything in that nauseatingly sweet packaging?
‘Is this bitch's brain fried from all the cigarettes or what?’
If our house cat started making the same yowling noises as a horny stray in heat, you'd start worrying something was wrong with it. I was seriously considering the effects of nicotine on the brain when a sound came out of Han Somang's throat.
“Heh, hehehe, hehehehehehe….”
Her hands wandered over my stomach, drawing slow circles. The soap bubbles she'd worked into a frenzy were already starting to fade.
“Raham-ssi, it's so big…. Sit down. I'll wash it for you….”
“I can wash myself.”
“I know.”
Her hand, which had been resting on my abdomen, slid downward. It flicked my cock once before moving past it, carefully cupping my balls.
“Ack, shit! What the hell are you doing?”
“……♡”
In an instant, my weak point was seized. I froze in an awkward half-crouch. My body wanted to shove her away on instinct, but another instinct screamed that if I did, my balls might get ripped off. The conflicting signals made everything short-circuit. Every time her hand squeezed, a sharp ache shot through my gut.
“I saw it on the internet….” She hesitated, trailing off.
The internet? I'd seen plenty of shit on the internet too. Most of it was just stupid. I watched her mouth with mild tension. What the hell had this woman fished out of that cesspool?
I wasn't particularly curious.
“…They say if a man gets a prostate massage, he can come without getting hard…. Is that true?”
“How the fuck would I know?”
“Can I try?”
“No, fuck no, seriously no. That's not happening!”
But despite my protests, her hand shot forward with insane determination. It slipped between my asscheeks, heading straight for the spot behind my balls. …I'm not some ass-obsessed freak, so why the fuck was this happening?!
I finally shoved her away. Han Somang let out a “Huk!” and landed hard on her butt.
Annoying. But weirdly, it didn't piss me off. If anything, it was almost… nice? Compared to that moment when she'd looked completely deranged, eyes rolled back like some underage delinquent, this was almost endearing. Maybe because she was so lovable, even this fucked-up shit seemed tolerable.
Still, I was exhausted. Truly exhausted. Sudden death from overexertion or brain rot—both possibilities were tapping me on the shoulder.
“Agh…. Seriously….”
I cranked the shower to freezing cold and blasted her with it.
“Kyaaah! It's cold!”
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit—begone, horny demon! She thrashed on the floor like a cat possessed, rolling around as if the holy water was burning her. Her clothes were completely soaked, clinging to her body and outlining every lewd curve. Normally I'd have been rock hard at the sight, but my dick just hung there limply. The prostate talk must've shocked it into unconsciousness.
“I just finished washing….”
“You said we have to wash again.”
“…Then let's wash together.”
“……Fine. Whatever. Just don't touch my ass. It's fucking weird.”
“Okaaay……♡”
After a long, complicated shower, we got ready to head out. I hadn't said anything about going with her, but in her head the decision was already made and approved.
“I'll have to buy you some clothes on the way back.”
Han Somang handed me some clothes while muttering to herself. Her collection must've finally run dry. Then again, she wasn't some mass murderer—she'd probably only killed around a dozen people. A dozen was a lot, sure, but not enough to make a fuss over. Not when my own hands were already soaked in so much blood.
“……I really need a smoke….”
I dug through the clothes I'd been wearing earlier and pulled out my wallet. There was a single 50,000-won bill inside. Han Somang was bustling around, busy with something. I had no idea what, but she seemed to need time.
“Somang. I'm gonna run to the convenience store.”
“Huh? Oh! Okay. Wait for me out front!”
Not “wait for me”—“wait for her”…. This was gonna take a while. I stepped outside.
— Creak. Thud.
I heard Raham-ssi leave. I waited quietly until his footsteps faded away.
“…I'm crazy. Seriously.”
I muttered to myself. In the bathroom…. I'd grabbed that…. Ahh, seriously! That was already way over the line! And then I went and brought up prostate massages…. “Somang, you idiot!!! Why did you do that, you moron!”
Still…. There had been a good moment…. When our eyes met through the keyhole, that had been really romantic…. The second I saw his beautiful sea-like eyes, the whole world seemed to slow down. My breath caught, my heart pounded, and every nerve in my body stood on end as he looked at me…. It was unforgettable. So beautiful.
“Raham-ssi…. Raham-ssi must've wanted to see me too…!”
Otherwise, how could we have seen each other through that tiny little hole…! Hehehehehe…. Raham-ssi also… wants me…! Hehehe…!
Hm. Ahem! Raham-ssi was waiting outside, so I needed to hurry. I pulled my cap down low and grabbed a disposable mask. I didn't care much about my appearance, but I didn't want anyone except Raham-ssi to see my face. I had my wallet…. My phone was at 100%. I went to the front door, slipped on my sneakers—right foot, then left—and straightened up to check my reflection in the glass panel. Mm! My makeup looked good. I wondered how Raham-ssi would react.
I reached for the door and opened it. The outside air, slightly humid, wrapped around me. It was early summer—sticky and warm, but still cool enough in the early morning that I took a deep breath. A familiar smell hit me. The same cigarette smoke we'd been sharing on the sofa just a little while ago.
I turned my head in that direction and saw Raham-ssi. He was squatting down, puffing on a cigarette while staring at something.
“Raham-ssi!”
“Oh. Somang. You came out?”
He glanced at me briefly before turning back to whatever he was watching. That stung a little…. Curious what could hold his attention so completely, I followed his gaze.
In front of a torn-open trash bag spilling its contents, a flock of magpies and pigeons were gathered. Whenever a magpie tried to eat, the pigeons would rush in. Taking advantage of the opening, other magpies would swoop in for a few bites before fleeing when the pigeons returned. A cat appeared and snatched one of the magpies. They must not have noticed it coming while they were fighting each other. Both flocks scattered.
The pigeon with the cat's teeth sunk into its neck let out a pitiful cry, wings flapping weakly before it went limp and hung there, trembling.
“Tsk. Look at them, fighting each other without watching their surroundings.”
The cat, hearing him, let out a rough breath and glared at Raham-ssi. It seemed to think we might try to steal its catch, so it warily backed under a car.
“Here, kitty. Come here, come on.”
Despite my call, the cat didn't relax its guard. It looked between me and Raham-ssi before leaping onto the wall with the magpie still in its mouth, then trotted away.
We watched it for a long time. The cat looked precarious with the magpie's weight swinging side to side.
“Oh my.”
While we were watching, a rock flew through the air and struck the cat's head with a sharp crack. The cat dropped to the ground, magpie still in its mouth. Two scrawny men came running over with wooden sticks and began beating the cat's head. One of them said something in Chinese, then picked up both the cat and the bird, laughing heartily. I couldn't understand what he was saying, but it sounded like he was bragging about killing two birds with one stone.
The scene was familiar to me, but Raham-ssi looked shocked. He flicked his cigarette away and snapped, “What the hell are those bastards doing?”
He looked ready to charge straight at them.
“Wait a second, Raham-ssi!”
“…Why?”
“They're hunting for food.”
“For food? Cats? Why…?”
“Um…. Since you came from Seoul, you wouldn't know, but…. Around here, people mostly eat pigeons or rats….”
“……”
“To them, a cat is basically a luxury dish.”
“Bullshit.”
“Don't be surprised when you see the market….”
We left the two men collecting their prizes behind us and headed toward the food distribution center. It was normally about a twenty-minute walk, but Raham-ssi kept stopping, so it took much longer.