That woman was in the club.
That woman was in the club.
Interview room.
Why am I here?
I was sitting on a hard chair, holding a paper cup.
Lukewarm water.
Sip-
I drank it.
It tasted bad.
As expected, when you're nervous, nothing tastes good.
'Fuck. Am I getting fired?'
I was called in right after class ended.
With the words, "Student Ian Valentine, do you have a moment?"
She said she was Helen, the Student Affairs Officer.
I didn't even know such a position existed.
I didn't do anything wrong.
I did roll call.
I did the [Facility Inspection].
I locked the curfew.
'Ah.'
'Could it be Room 302?'
Did I not report an absence?
Did I get caught for that?
My hand gripping the paper cup tightened.
The cup crumpled.
'What happens if I get caught?'
'Dormitory Warden dismissal?'
'Revocation of my single room?'
'My game console?'
The worst-case scenario started playing in my head in 4K.
Kkii-ik-
The door opened.
My heart shrank.
Officer Helen walked in holding some documents.
A gentle impression.
She was smiling.
"Sorry to keep you waiting."
She sat opposite me.
She placed the documents down with a thud.
I looked at the documents.
I tried to determine if it was a disciplinary document or not in 0.5 seconds.
I couldn't see the text.
It was upside down.
"You don't need to be nervous. I didn't call you here to scold you."
She smiled gently.
They were truly kind eyes.
Not eyes hiding a knife, but truly kind eyes.
"I was looking at the student register and Ian, you caught my attention."
"The student register?"
"Yes. You haven't joined a club."
'Ah.'
"The school rules changed starting this year. At the [Academy] level, to promote student memories, mandatory membership in at least one club has become required."
'Promoting memories.'
'Memories' and 'promoting'.
The feeling when these two words combined and reached my ears was...
...similar to the feeling of coming home after leaving laundry out during the rainy season.
"If you finish the semester without joining, you won't be able to complete the course."
If I can't complete the course.
I can't maintain my peerage.
I'll be kicked out of the family.
My game console will be gone.
"You can be honest. There won't be any disadvantages."
The tension from being scared of getting fired earlier melted away.
My mouth moved on its own.
"I'm not interested in that."
It came out.
Officer Helen blinked.
"Then what do you do after school, Ian?"
"I rest in the dormitory."
"What do you do while resting?"
"I play games."
"Alone?"
"No."
Officer Helen's eyes sparkled.
"With friends?"
"Oh, so you have friends? Maybe you could join a club with those friends..."
"Friends I meet there."
"............There?"
"Inside the game."
"............."
I was serious.
"There are people I meet when I log in every night at 10 PM. I only know their nicknames. We run boss raids together, die together, and revive together. We fight battles that cross the line between life and death together."
"............."
"Those people are my real friends. No, 'friends' isn't even enough to describe them."
I said it straight.
"They are my comrades-in-arms who cross the line of life and death with me."
Officer Helen paused.
She looked at me.
She looked for a long time.
It was a pitiful look.
'Why are you looking at me like that?'
There's no reason to pity me.
I'm happy.
The time I spend gaming in the warden's room is the brightest time of my life.
Why are you looking at me with those eyes?
"Ian."
"Yes."
"Your school days only happen once."
'No. This is my second time, actually.'
Of course, I couldn't say that.
"Once this time passes, it never comes back. When you look back later, you might regret not joining a single club."
I answered seriously.
"I won't regret it."
I meant it.
"I'm satisfied if I can just live in a small room playing games for the rest of my life."
I was confident I wouldn't regret it.
I had looked back on my school days while living until twenty-six in my previous life.
Do you know what my regret was?
'I should have played more games.'
That was it.
Not joining a club?
I didn't regret it at all.
Those things are only memories for people who care about them.
I'm not that kind of person by nature.
It's like suggesting a neighborhood walk to a house cat.
"............Really?"
"Yes. Really."
Officer Helen looked at me.
She looked for a long time.
And.
"Heh."
She laughed.
'Why are you laughing?'
"That can't be true."
'What?'
"No way. A twenty-year-old."
No.
It's true.
That really is my dream.
I already confirmed it in my previous life.
"You can't be honest at that age."
The words, 'I was like this in my previous life too,' rose to my throat and then went back down.
Ha.
It's a relief if I don't get treated like a crazy person even if I say it.
"It's the age where you want to pretend you're not interested. I know because I've been through it all."
'I've been through it all too, that's why I'm saying it.'
"It's okay."
Officer Helen took a document out of the drawer.
It was a club list.
"Shall I recommend one for you?"
I was about to say, 'No,' but...
She opened the document first.
One was already marked with a highlighter.
'You were planning to push me into it from the start, weren't you?'
It wasn't an interview, it was a notification.
"I think this club will suit you well, Ian. The atmosphere is quiet, and there aren't many members."
I looked at the document.
[Herb Research Club]
[Activity: Once a week]
[Location: Greenhouse Annex]
[Current members: 10]
'Herb Research Club.'
"Once a week isn't a burden, right? Since you only have to go once."
Officer Helen smiled.
A kind smile.
A smile that genuinely worries about me.
This is harder.
If there was malice, I could at least fight back.
You can't fight against good intentions.
"Ian."
Officer Helen looked at me.
Gently.
"If you keep going like this, you'll graduate without a single memory. Later, when you think back on your school days, only game screens will remain."
'That's enough for me.'
'It really is enough.'
'It was enough in my previous life too.'
But since I could feel that this person was genuinely worried about me.
I can't trample on good intentions.
I don't know if it's because I'm a loser or because I'm timid.
Anyway, I can't do it.
"............I understand."
Officer Helen's face brightened.
"As expected! You made a good choice. Here's the application form, just fill it out and submit it to the club room."
I took the document.
'Ha.'
'Life.'
I left the classroom.
Walking down the hallway, I looked down at the application form.
[Herb Research Club Application Form]
[Name: __]
[Department: __]
[Reason for joining: __]
Reason for joining.
I can't write, 'I want to play games in my room, but I'm forced to because of graduation requirements.'
[Reason for joining: I am interested in herbs.]
Being able to write a lie this short is a blessing to humanity.
Club building.
They said it was the [Greenhouse Annex].
It was in a corner far away from the main building.
'Was there a place like this?'
I've been attending the [Academy] for a few weeks, but this is my first time here.
Of course.
Because I went straight to the dormitory after class.
I arrived in front of the building.
An old wooden building.
A sign that said [Herb Research Club] was hanging crookedly on the door.
I opened the door.
Kkii-ik-
There was someone inside.
One person.
"Excuse me..."
They were sitting at a desk writing something.
Whether they saw me come in or not, they didn't even look up.
"Application form? You can just leave it there."
They said without taking their eyes off the desk.
"............."
They didn't even look at me.
I placed the application form in the corner of the desk.
"Thank you."
There was no answer.
I left.
"............."
Presence.
Zero.
I'm an invisible person at school, and I was an invisible person when joining the club.
'Well, this isn't bad either.'
It was actually comfortable.
Since they didn't even see my face, they won't remember me.
I just have to go once a week and sit in the corner, right?
I went back to the dormitory.
I turned on the game.
Click.
I forgot about the club.
3 days later.
A letter was stuck in front of the warden's room door.
Official envelope.
The [Academy] seal was stamped on it.
I tore it open.
[Herb Research Club Membership Approval Notice]
[We inform you that Student Ian Valentine's membership has been approved.]
[First activity date: This Thursday at 3 PM]
[Location: Greenhouse Annex]
'Accepted?'
It's been 3 days since I left the application form.
Was it possible to be rejected?
It would have been better if I had been rejected.
'Ha.'
Thursday.
3 PM.
The day after tomorrow.
Thursday.
2:55 PM.
I stood in front of the [Greenhouse Annex].
'I don't want to go in.'
New people.
New space.
New gazes.
I hate it all.
But if I don't go, I can't complete the course.
If I don't complete the course, I'm expelled.
If I'm expelled, being the warden is over too.
If being the warden ends, the single room ends too.
'My game console.'
I opened the door.
Kkii-ik-
I could see inside.
The inside of the [Greenhouse Annex] was wider than I thought.
There was a wooden table in the middle.
The walls were full of herb specimens.
It smelled like herbs.
There were people.
Five or six people.
They were sitting in small groups around the table.
I stopped in front of the door.
Gazes turned to me.
All of them.
"............."
My heart raced.
Again.
'Floor.'
I lowered my gaze.
I looked for an empty seat.
Corner.
The very end.
I walked over and sat down.
I didn't say anything.
No one talked to me.
"............."
No one talked to me.
"............."
Only now did my heart calm down.
'Good.'
Corner seat.
A seat where no one looks.
A seat with no presence.
This is my seat.
This is right.
'This is right.'
I just have to attend once a week and sit in the corner.
Nothing will happen.
I kept my head down and observed the wood grain of the table.
There's nothing to see in the wood grain, but I needed somewhere to put my gaze.
Then.
Kkii-ik-
The door opened.
Footsteps.
Light footsteps.
I didn't lift my head.
I won't lift it.
But.
Another scent layered over the herb smell.
A familiar scent.
Cookie smell.
"............."
I lifted my head.
Light purple hair.
Light green eyes.
Aria.
She was about to sit in the seat opposite me, but stopped when she saw me.
Her eyes were wide.
I was also frozen.
'............Why are you here?'
Aria seemed to be thinking the same thing.
0.5 seconds.
We both lowered our gazes at the same time.
"..............."
"..............."
Awkward silence.
'It's not strange for the [Saintess] to be in the [Herb Research Club]. Because it's herbs. Because it's healing magic.'
Logically, it's correct.
Emotionally, it's fucking embarrassing.
I observed the wood grain again.
Aria also took something out and started observing it.
We both weren't looking at each other.
Two losers in the same club.
Every week.
'Ha.'
'Life.'
Then.
Kkii-ik-
The door opened again.
This time the footsteps were different.
Confident steps.
Click-clack.
"Aria, you're here?"
A man's voice.
Bright and kind.
I didn't lift my head.
I won't lift it.
But I saw the owner of that voice sit next to Aria.
In the corner of my vision.
Brown hair.
Tall height.
He's handsome.
He's definitely handsome.
And the look in his eyes when he looks at Aria.
"............."
'Ah.'
That look.
A look I know even when I see it.
It was a look of affection.
And Aria was bowing her head slightly.
But her expression.
Wasn't comfortable.
'You haven't sorted things out yet, have you?'
Aria glanced at me.
0.3 seconds.
She immediately lowered her gaze.
I could read the message contained within that 0.3 seconds.
'I know I have to do what you told me, senior.'
'I haven't been able to do it yet.'
'I'm sorry.'
"............."
I don't know why I can read that.
The loser's intuition is unnecessarily developed.
I lowered my gaze back to the wood grain.
'None of my business.'
Right.
None of my business.
However.
I saw that man hand something to Aria.
In the corner of my vision.
A drink.
"You like this, right? I bought it for you."
Aria took it.
She said "Thank you" in a small voice.
The man laughed.
Brightly.
I looked at the flower pot on the window.
"............."
Suddenly, the herb leaves looked fucking complicated.