May I Sit Here?
May I Sit Here?
"............Ian-ssi?"
Elise was looking up at me.
Blue eyes.
"Do you mind if I sit here?"
I don't know why those words came out.
My feet moved and brought me here.
My mouth moved and spoke.
"............."
Elise looked at me.
2 seconds.
Her eyes were reading.
Why this person came here.
'Random.'
'I know.'
'Fuck, I know it's random.'
"............Yes."
A small voice.
Not guarded.
But not comfortable either.
I sat down.
The spot where Zeke had been sitting.
The grass was pressed down.
'.............'
The wind blew.
Petals scattered.
"............."
"............."
Silence.
The silence of a loser and a high-born noble young lady.
This was different from the silence of two losers.
With Aria, it's not awkward even if neither of us says anything.
But here, the air felt like something had to be said.
'What should I say.'
"............."
'Fuck. What do I do if I sit down and have nothing to say.'
'I need at least a reason for why I came.'
"............Nice weather."
'.............'
'Weather.'
'Fuck.'
'I said weather.'
The worst opening of all time.
The number one line a loser says when they have nothing to say.
Weather.
Elise looked at me.
"............Yes. It's nice."
She nodded.
That was all.
'.............'
'Of course.'
'What else would she say to "nice weather".'
Silence returned.
Heavier silence than before.
'Fuck.'
'I should've just not come at all.'
Then.
Professor Rahel stood up.
"Alright, let's do one more final activity."
"Let's try making something with our hands this time."
She pulled out a bundle of colored paper from her bag.
Thinly cut colored paper.
A size that could be folded.
"Cherry blossom folding. Anyone done it before?"
A few girls raised their hands.
"Good. If you don't know how, just learn from the person next to you."
"Once you finish, leave it under the tree. We're making our own cherry blossom field."
The colored paper was passed around.
It came to me too.
'.............'
'Paper folding.'
My past life.
First grade of elementary school.
I folded a paper crane during art class.
The teacher said "Good job."
But the kid sitting next to me said "That's not a crane, it's a duck."
I've never done paper folding since then.
20 years.
'Fuck.'
'I absolutely suck at this kind of thing.'
But there was someone next to me.
I couldn't just sit there doing nothing.
I picked up the colored paper.
Glanced around.
A girl over there was folding.
Fold in half.
Fold into a triangle.
Tuck inside.
'.............'
'In half. Triangle. Inside.'
'Okay. Memorized it.'
'It's just like memorizing a boss pattern.'
I folded it in half.
'Got it this far.'
Triangle.
'.............'
Sly glance.
I looked at the guy next to me.
He was doing it skillfully and smoothly.
Tucking one side of the colored paper inside.
'Ah. That's how you tuck it in.'
I followed along.
'.............'
Didn't work.
'No. Fuck, why doesn't it work when I do it.'
Sly glance.
I looked at the girl in front of me.
She had already made five of them.
Her hands were fast.
'That girl is doing it at triple speed.'
'Can't follow along because I can't pause her.'
I folded again.
Trying to get the angle right.
It twisted.
'Ah.'
One more time.
Applying a bit more force.
It twisted more.
'Fuck.'
Just one more time.
It tore.
'.............'
The corner of the colored paper was torn.
I couldn't control my strength.
These hands can adjust a controller in 0.3-second increments.
But the paper tore.
'.............'
'These are precious hands that used a Druid ultimate for 5,000 hours.'
Defeated by paper folding.
A sound came from beside me.
"............Pfft."
Elise.
She was laughing.
Her hand covering her mouth.
Stifling the sound.
"............."
"S-sorry. I shouldn't laugh."
She was laughing.
Not the face from earlier that was only smiling with her mouth.
Her eyes were laughing.
"........It's torn."
"..........Yes."
"You might have folded it a bit too hard."
"............I can't control my strength."
Elise looked at the colored paper.
The freakishly shaped colored paper.
"............What were you trying to fold?"
"A cherry blossom."
"............."
Blue eyes alternated between my face and the colored paper.
"............A cherry blossom."
She closed her mouth.
Her shoulders shook.
She was holding it in.
"............You can laugh."
It burst out.
"Hahaha."
Small.
But it was a real laugh.
"Sorry. But is this really a cherry blossom? This?"
"............I'm certain I folded it as a cherry blossom."
"Where's the petal?"
"Here."
"............That's the torn part."
"............."
Elise picked up a new piece of colored paper.
"Shall I show you how?"
Her fingers moved.
They were fast.
Clean.
Fold in half.
Fold into a triangle.
Tuck inside.
The process where I glanced around, tried to follow, and tore it.
This woman finished it in 3 seconds.
"............You're skilled."
"............."
Elise's hands stopped.
Slightly.
"............I'm supposed to have never done this kind of thing."
"Excuse me?"
"My family...... told me not to do this kind of thing."
As she folded the colored paper.
Her voice grew quieter.
"I was supposed to only learn tea ceremony etiquette or how to properly arrange tea and things......"
"............."
"But when I was young, I saw a servant kid folding one...... it looked fun."
The petal shape took form.
The fifth one.
"I tried it secretly."
Completion.
On her palm sat a cherry blossom folded from colored paper.
It was pretty.
"............."
'Her family banned it but she says she tried it secretly.'
'In a household that tells you to learn tea ceremony etiquette.'
'She did paper folding.'
"............."
"Want to try?"
She handed me the colored paper.
I folded.
This time, Elise watched from beside me.
"Yes. That's right up to there."
Triangle.
"Ah. A bit more inside."
"Like this?"
"Just a little more."
Our fingertips were close.
Elise grabbed the end of my colored paper and guided the direction.
"Like this."
"............Ah."
It folded.
This time it didn't tear.
Second petal.
Third.
Fourth.
"Want to try the last one on your own?"
The fifth.
I folded.
It was a little crooked.
But it didn't tear.
I attached the five together.
A cherry blossom.
Compared to the one Elise made, it was definitely ugly.
The petal sizes were all different.
One was crooked.
But it was a cherry blossom.
"............It's a cherry blossom."
"It's a cherry blossom."
Elise placed the two side by side and looked at them.
"Ian-ssi's is pretty too."
"Don't lie."
"It's true. The crooked parts actually look more natural."
'Crooked parts looking natural.'
The wind blew.
Petals scattered.
Elise placed the cherry blossom made of colored paper on her palm and looked at it.
Her expression had softened.
"............."
She looked around.
Sly glance.
Quickly.
No one was looking this way.
Everyone was absorbed in their own paper folding.
After confirming.
She lowered her voice.
"Ian-ssi."
"Yes."
"............Last time."
'Last time?'
"When you came to the dormitory...... to find me."
The very first night.
When I came crying to the supervisor's room.
'Ah.'
"What you said then."
"............."
"That it's more strange for a swordsman not to train in swordsmanship."
"............Yes. I said that."
Elise fiddled with the cherry blossom made of colored paper.
"That...... helped."
"............."
"I still think about it sometimes, even now."
".........Thank you."
"............It was nothing really."
'It was literally nothing.'
'I said it to wrap things up quickly so I could go game.'
The wind blew.
Elise's silver hair swayed.
"............."
Elise's gaze moved.
Toward the front.
Far away.
Black hair leaning against a tree.
Zeke.
His eyes were closed.
Alone.
Elise was looking that way.
'.............'
Her hand moved.
On her knee.
The hand holding the cherry blossom made of colored paper.
Tightly.
The colored paper crumpled slightly.
"............."
Elise lowered her gaze.
She loosened her hand.
She smoothed out the crumpled colored paper.
She smiled.
"............I made it so nicely. But I crumpled it."
'.............'
Then.
"Elise?"
A voice.
From beside.
A girl was approaching.
Same department as Elise.
She looked at me.
Narrowed eyes.
"............."
She hesitated.
"............Who might you be?"
'Ah.'
'She doesn't know me.'
'Of course.'
'I'm an invisible man.'
"............I'm Ian."
"Ah. I see."
The girl tilted her head.
"Are you our classmate?"
"............Yes."
"Ah! Right."
She smiled.
"Nice to meet you! I'm Celine. Shall we drop the formalities?"
'.............'
Casual speech.
Switching to casual speech is always hard for a loser.
"Ah...... sure."
It came out.
But it was awkward.
The voice was casual but the tone was formal.
Celine looked at me.
1 second.
She had eyes that said 'Why is he speaking formally?'
But she didn't ask.
"Uh-huh. Okay. Nice to meet you."
She moved on.
Naturally.
With the instincts of a social butterfly.
She looked at Elise.
"Elise, you were here? We're folding over there!"
She crouched down next to Elise.
She looked at the cherry blossoms folded from colored paper on the grass.
"Huh? Who folded this? Wow, pretty."
She picked up the one Elise had made.
"This is yours, right Elise? You're so good as always~"
She looked at the crooked one next to Elise's.
"And this?"
She looked at me.
"............That's the one I folded."
"............."
2 seconds.
"It's cute."
"............."
"No really. Look at this crooked part. Totally cute."
'Calling that cute to cover for me.'
'The social butterfly's rhetoric is indeed something else.'
She wasn't a social butterfly for nothing.
"Did you fold it together with Elise?"
Celine looked at Elise.
She looked at Elise.
She looked at me.
She looked at Elise again.
"Were you two always close?"
Elise looked at me.
0.3 seconds.
"............Mm. Not really."
'She's not wrong.'
Celine looked.
Slightly puzzled eyes.
But she didn't dig into it.
"Really? But you folded together? Nice~"
She moved on naturally.
A social butterfly doesn't hold onto this kind of thing for long.
Celine grabbed Elise's arm.
"Elise, come on quickly~ Sophia's making a crown. With cherry blossoms. We should do it too."
"Crown?"
"Yeah! If you attach five cherry blossoms together, it becomes a crown. Hurry up come on!"
She pulled Elise.
Naturally.
Brightly.
"Ah and there's tea over there too. Professor Rahel brought it out and it's seriously so delicious."
"Tea?"
"Yeah. They said it's cherry blossom tea. Just try one cup."
"It'll change your life!"
"Change your life, sure."
"It's real!"
Celine looked at me.
"Ian, come along too! Don't be all by yourself."
'.............'
'Ah.'
"Ah and did you see what Rina folded? It looks like a chrysanthemum, not a cherry blossom. Super hilarious."
"Chrysanthemum?"
"Yeah. She says that's a cherry blossom. How does a cherry blossom become a chrysanthemum."
Giggle.
She was pulled away.
Elise was walking while smiling.
Her hand that had been clutching the colored paper tightly earlier was now loose.
Pulled by Celine's arm.
I could see her getting drawn into the group of girls.
"Huh? Elise! Come over here!"
"Let's do it together~"
"You try folding this. It's really easy."
"It wasn't easy for me though?"
"That's because you suck at it."
"Hey!!"
Giggle.
Elise was laughing.
For real.
The woman who had been sitting alone earlier only smiling with her mouth.
She was laughing among people.
'.............'
But.
She's laughing.
Yet what I saw earlier remained.
The hand that clutched the colored paper tight.
The eyes looking at Zeke far away.
The voice that said "I made it so nicely" while smoothing out the crumpled cherry blossom.
Even though she's laughing now.
'.............'
'Is she okay.'
'.............'
'Hoo.'
'That's a relief.'
'For now.'
I'm not sure why it's a relief.
But it was a relief.
For now.
I was getting dragged along.
Celine was walking ahead saying "Ian, hurry up come on too~"
'The social butterfly's universal gravitational pull is indeed fucking strong.'
'She got Elise to laugh in 30 seconds.'
'And she's dragging me along too.'
'It took me 10 minutes tearing up paper folding.'
'This woman changes the atmosphere in 30 seconds.'
'That's a realm impossible for me.'
'.............'
'But for now.'
'Elise is laughing.'
'So it's fine.'
Dormitory.
Supervisor's room.
I returned.
Closed the door.
Thud.
'.............'
'Let's run.'
I don't know why.
But today, I wanted to run.
I wanted to empty my head.
'Should I shower.'
'.............'
'No.'
'If I shower, I won't want to go out.'
'If I sit, I'll want to lie down.'
'If I lie down, I'll want to sleep.'
'If I sleep, I'll want to game.'
'If I game, it'll be dawn.'
'No compromises.'
I just quickly changed my clothes.
Training clothes.
Running shoes.
I stepped out the entrance.
The track.
The sun was setting.
The sky was orange.
There was no one on the track.
'Nice.'
I started running.
10 seconds.
'Heuk.'
30 seconds.
'Heuk. Heuk.'
1 minute.
'Fuck.'
A level 63 body.
My legs were heavy.
My lungs felt like they were going to burst.
But I didn't stop.
200m.
Heuk. Heuk. Heuk.
300m.
The strength left my legs.
400m.
One lap.
Flop-
I collapsed at the side of the track.
On the grass.
'Haaaa.'
'Haaaaa.'
I looked up at the sky.
The orange was bleeding into purple.
I gasped for breath.
My heart was going crazy.
'.............'
I tried to get up.
'............?'
There was something beside me.
A water bottle.
It was new.
The cap hadn't been opened.
It was placed at the edge of the track.
It hadn't been there when I started running earlier.
'.............'
'Who put this.'
I looked around.
No one was there.
The other side of the track.
Far away.
I saw silver hair.
It was running.
The speed didn't decrease.
Tak. Tak. Tak. Tak.
It didn't look this way.
Not once.
'.............'
'Did Rena leave this.'
'Or was it always here.'
I don't know.
I picked up the water bottle.
Opened the cap.
Drank.
Gulp-
'.............'
It was cold.
Fucking cold.
'Ice water, huh.'
'.............'
'Lucky.'
Gulp-
Gulp-
I chugged it in one shot and lay down sprawled out.
The sky was bleeding from purple to indigo.
A few stars were visible.
The wind blew gently.
'The scenery is art.'