Every night, women knock on my door.

I opened my eyes to find myself in a romance fantasy world.

The start of a shitty story is always like this.

『The Sword Saint Only Loves Once.』

The novel my sister used to read while rolling around in bed.

The novel where I got punched in the solar plexus after glancing at it and saying, "This is fucking boring."

It hurt like fucking hell.

Was my sister a special forces soldier in her past life?

Of course, I didn't read the novel.

But I played the game.

It was such a hit romance fantasy novel that it even came out as a game.

Because a game is a game.

You can play the game even if you haven't read the novel.

Anyway.

I fell into that novel.

Ian Valentine.

Second son of a frontier baron family.

Three lines of mention in the original work.

'Humble family. No special notes.'

Could there be a more perfect extra spec than this?

If there's a world where having no presence is a blessing, it's a romance fantasy.

I lived quietly for 15 years.

In a frontier territory.

Eating potatoes.

Sometimes eating corn.

Carving Mana Stones to make a game console.

There's no electricity in this world, but there is mana.

If it's a world where nothing is impossible with mana, wouldn't it be natural to be able to make a game console?

It took three months.

Half of my entire fortune flew away.

I have zero regrets.

It was peaceful.

Truly peaceful.

But a problem arose.

Mandatory Academy enrollment.

They say noble children must attend.

"Can't I not go?"

"We'll cut off your Mana Stone support and confiscate your game console."

"I'm going."

The Academy is better than the end of a gamer's life.

There's no need to compare things that aren't comparable.

So I came to the capital.

I enrolled in the Academy.

I went to the Academic Affairs Office to get assigned a dormitory.

"The male dormitory is full."

"......Excuse me?"

The staff member rummaged through the list with an apologetic expression.

Sweat had formed on their forehead.

"There is one empty room, but......"

"Where is it?"

"The Girls' Dormitory warden's room."

I stopped.

"Warden?"

"Yes. The warden suddenly retired this year. There's no gender restriction in the regulations, but, well......"

"I don't want to."

Of course.

Why would a man go into a girls' dormitory?

Are you crazy?

"It's a single room."

Alone?

"Dormitory fees are waived."

Free?

"The warden's room is the largest. It also doubles as a storage room for management supplies."

Spacious.

Alone.

Free.

"......So, where did you say that room is?"

My mouth moved on its own.

Human dignity is powerless in front of rent.

A truth that doesn't change in the past life or this life.

"But there is one condition."

"What is it?"

"You have to go through an interview."

"An interview?"

"Assigning a male warden to the girls' dormitory is unprecedented. The Academic Committee will conduct a qualification review."

Interview.

An interview for a man who failed twenty-three interviews in his past life.

Ha.

Life is fucking...

But it's a single room.

It's free.

From that moment on, thinking is meaningless.

"I'll do it."

Interview room.

Three people were sitting behind a long table.

The Academic Committee Chair with a shiny bald head.

A female professor with glasses slid down to the tip of her nose.

And an upperclassman girl who was the student representative.

I sat in the chair.

My back was stiff.

The chair was hard.

The bald man opened the documents.

"Ian Valentine."

"Yes."

"Second son of the Valentine barony."

"Yes."

"Second-year student."

"Yes."

He put down the documents and looked at me.

"............."

He looked.

"............."

He kept looking.

"............."

Why is he looking for so long?

Did I get something on my face?

"Why are your eyes like that?"

"......Excuse me?"

"Try opening your eyes."

"This is as open as they get."

Silence.

The three of them looked at each other.

Ian Valentine's default specs.

Slit eyes.

My eyes have been like this since I was born.

It's not just that people think I'm sleeping when they're closed; they think I'm sleeping even when they're open.

They disappear when I smile.

Barely average when I'm surprised.

I still vividly remember the memory of the photographer in my past life saying, "Try opening your eyes," when I was taking a passport photo, and then apologizing when I said, "I did."

It's not the photographer's fault.

It's these eyes' fault.

Ha.

Fuck.

It's sorrowful.

Why are my eyes like this here too?

The female professor with glasses tilted her head.

"You look a bit scary."

"............."

Scary, what's scary?

My eyes are just small.

I don't look scary, I look sorrowful.

"What is the reason you applied for the girls' dormitory warden position?"

The female professor's gaze sharpened.

Of course. A man wants to be a girls' dormitory warden. They have to verify what kind of pervert he is.

I answered honestly.

"Because it's a single room."

"............."

"And because the dormitory fees are waived."

"Is that the entire reason?"

"Yes."

"............Really?"

"Yes."

Silence again.

The bald man stroked his chin.

"What are your hobbies?"

"Games."

"Games?"

"My hobby is making a game console with Mana Stones and playing alone. Boss raids are my only joy."

Silence.

The female professor pushed up her glasses.

"......You made a game console with Mana Stones?"

"Yes."

"Yourself?"

"Yes. It took three months."

"You taught yourself Mana Stone processing?"

That question.

Pressed the switch.

"Ah, that?"

I rummaged through my bag.

Took it out.

Clack.

A controller carved from a Mana Stone.

A small monitor made by modifying a Crystal Ball.

Connection cable.

"This is what I call the Play-um Station 3 that I made."

"Play-um... what?"

"A game console. It's my only joy since coming to this world—ah, since living as a Valentine. Half of my entire fortune flew away, but I have zero regrets."

I put mana into the Crystal Ball.

Wung-

The screen turned on.

[STAGE 47 — Lord of the Abyss]

The boss was wandering around.

A pitch-black mass.

"Is it summoning magic?"

"No, it's a screen."

I picked up the controller.

"That black thing is the boss. I have to reduce its health to 0%."

The female professor tilted her head.

"How do you figure out the attack patterns?"

Ah, this professor's question is fucking great.

"That observation is very accurate."

My voice changed.

I didn't know it myself.

"There are patterns. In the first phase, it charges three times, but the third one is a fake, and the second phase area-of-effect attack always starts 90 degrees clockwise from the boss's foot position. It took me three days to figure this out. So the strategy I devised is—"

Click.

"See here? If the left arm goes up first, it's a smash, and if it's the right arm, it's a swing, but if you take a 45-degree position based on the left foot, you can counter both."

Click, click.

"The third phase instant-kill move is the real problem; the motion is 1.2 seconds and the evasion frame is 0.3 seconds. I haven't been able to beat it for a week."

Click, click, click.

"But for some reason, I have a good feeling about today."

I lifted my head and looked at the three of them.

"......"

The three interviewers were frozen.

The bald man was scribbling something in his notebook.

It was in big letters, so I could see it.

[Interest in the opposite sex: Appears to have no interests outside of games]

[Personality: Passive]

"......What?"

Passive?

I just explained that so passionately?

"............."

The three of them looked at each other.

This time, the look in their eyes was different.

The female professor wrote something on the documents.

The bald man took out his notebook and wrote something.

Wait.

It's in big letters, so I can see it.

[Risk Assessment]

[Interest in the opposite sex: No interests outside of games → Low]

[Appearance threat level: Strong impression due to slit eyes → Expect pervert suppression effect]

[Overall: Harmless. Suitable.]

"............These bastards?"

No, what is this?

Calling me harmless?

Passive?

No, is everyone who likes games passive?

"Wait a minute."

I raised my hand.

"I'm not passive?"

The three of them looked at me.

As soon as I received their gaze, my voice dropped half a tone.

Because I was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠nervous.

Because the gaze was scary.

"............So what I want to say is."

My voice trailed off.

Ha.

Fuck.

The bald man nodded and added a line to his notebook.

[Lack of self-awareness — Even more harmless]

"............."

The female professor looked at the student representative.

"What do you think?"

The student representative girl scanned me once and opened her mouth.

"With that... well, I don't think anything will happen?"

Saying nothing will happen.

Treating me like an object.

"And with those slit eyes, wouldn't guys lurking in front of the dormitory at night run away just by looking at him?"

"Oh, that's true too."

The bald man clapped his hands.

"A natural security system."

"He just needs to stand there with his eyes open."

"No, that's as open as they get."

No one heard me.

The bald man stamped it.

"You're hired."

The female professor added while organizing the documents.

"Since you seem like you'll block them well with those slit eyes, I'll look forward to it."

I sat there blankly.

I passed because I'm a loser.

No.

Not a loser.

I passed because I'm harmless.

No, that's not it either.

I passed because they think I won't do anything.

"............."

Ha.

Fuck.

Life.

Yeah, fuck.

Whether it's right or not.

It's a single room.

It's free.

That's enough.

Girls' Dormitory.

First day.

I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠carried my luggage and entered the warden's room on the first floor.

As soon as I opened the door.

It was spacious.

Really spacious.

A single room with a window, desk, and bed.

A shelf for management supplies on one wall.

And an empty floor.

Put the game console here.

Stack snacks here.

I just need to not leave here until I die.

I took out the first thing from my suitcase.

Not clothes.

Game console.

Crystal Ball monitor.

Mana Stone controller.

Connection cable.

Installation.

Click.

The screen turned on.

A bluish light filled the room.

[STAGE 47 — Lord of the Abyss]

"............."

Good.

This is right.

This is life.

Let's unpack clothes tomorrow.

But it hasn't even been 10 minutes.

Knock knock.

The sound of someone knocking on the door.

"............Already?"

I opened it.

A management staff member was standing there holding thick documents.

"Warden, this is the dormitory resident list. Please check it and conduct the first roll call tomorrow morning."

"Roll call?"

"We do roll call every morning at 8 AM in the first-floor lobby."

"Every day?"

"Every day."

I received the documents and closed the door.

I opened them.

[Girls' Dormitory Resident List]

I scanned through it.

30 people.

Probably just extras.

My eyes stopped.

[2nd Floor, Room 201: Elise von Kreutz]

My heart stopped.

Elise.

Original main heroine.

The woman who ends up with the future Sword Saint, Siegfried von Waldstein.

That guy killed four people in the original work because of this woman.

Four people.

With a sword.

Chop.

"It's the 2nd floor."

Right above me.

Twelve steps.

"............It's fine. The floors are different."

I lowered my gaze.

[3rd ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Floor, Room 302: Aria Cernium]

Aria.

Original sub-heroine.

Saintess.

Strongest healing magic in history.

The church and the imperial family went to the brink of war over this woman.

"It's the 3rd floor."

"............It's two floors up, so it should be fine."

I lowered my gaze further.

[2nd Floor, Room 205: Camilla de Belcruz]

Camilla.

Original Part 2 core heroine.

Daughter of a duke family.

Seven men fought a duel because of this woman.

"............It's the 2nd floor. Same floor as Elise."

I lowered my gaze further.

[3rd Floor, Room 301: Lena von Eisenhardt]

Lena.

Original rival character.

Top student in the Department of Swordsmanship.

She's a woman, but she's the second strongest after Siegfried.

I closed the documents.

Slowly.

I opened them again.

Just in case I misread it.

[2nd Floor: Elise, Camilla]

[3rd Floor: Aria, Lena]

I didn't misread it.

Four people.

Four core characters from the original work were living in this building.

"So this dormitory was a heroine detention center."

I put down the documents and looked at the game console.

The boss was wandering around on the screen.

This room, which was heaven just a moment ago.

Felt like a tent in the middle of a minefield.

"............It's fine."

I reassured myself.

"I am the warden. I just need to manage. Roll call, facility inspection, handling complaints. That's all. No reason to get personally involved. Absolutely not."

"And they said so in the interview, too. That nothing would happen. That I'm harmless. That I'm suitable."

"............."

"Ha."

"That's a bit sorrowful."

Let's just play games.

The next morning at 7:55 AM.

I came down to the first-floor lobby.

First roll call.

I stood holding the list.

No one has come yet.

"They'll come at 8 o'clock sharp."

I waited.

7:58 AM.

A commotion was heard from the 2nd floor.

"Hey!! Hey hey hey!!!"

"What?! Why!!"

"Clothes!! Put on clothes!!! They said the warden is a man!!"

"......Huh? Ah, right!!"

Crash bang!

The sound of doors opening and closing, drawers being rummaged through, and screams mixed together and came down.

It erupted on the 3rd floor too.

"Wait a minute!! I'm in my underwear right now?!"

"Change quickly!!"

"Where did you put the training clothes?!"

"I don't know, just wear something!!"

I looked up at the ceiling blankly in the lobby.

"............."

What kind of battlefield is this?

In a male dormitory, no one would care even if you came out in a tank top and boxers.

Here, it's chaos from the morning just because the warden is a man.

"Haa."

Did I really come here?

8 o'clock sharp.

Tak tak tak tak tak—!

Footsteps poured down the stairs.

The women came down.

They were all in training clothes.

Some had crooked zippers, probably because they put them on in a hurry.

Some came down without tying their hair.

One person was wearing her training top inside out.

30 people lined up in the lobby.

They all looked at me.

"............."

30 gazes were fixed on me.

"Gaze. There are too many gazes."

My heart was beating like crazy.

My hands were shaking.

The hand holding the list was trembling.

"Calm down. Just call the names. Call the name, get an answer, and finish. 30 times."

I opened my mouth.

"............."

Nothing came out.

My throat was tight.

"Ah."

"Ha."

"Fuck."

Ha.

Life.

Is it stage fright here too?

I coughed.

"Cough. Let's begin the roll call."

Because I was nervous, my voice was low.

To my ears, it's "a word barely squeezed out because I'm scared".

Whispering was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠heard from the front row.

"Look at his voice."

"Isn't it a bit scary?"

"He has slit eyes and his voice is like that too?"

"Isn't he a former soldier?"

Not a soldier, but a former pro-gamer aspirant.

Ha.

I lifted the list.

The paper rustled.

Because my hands were shaking.

First name.

"Room 201. Elise von Kreutz."

"Yes."

Clear voice.

I lifted my head.

Silver hair, blue eyes.

Even though she was wearing training clothes, the atmosphere was different.

Is that visual possible in the morning?

It felt unreal.

Is it CG?

"Look away."

I immediately lowered my eyes to the list.

Check.

"Room 205. Camilla de Belcruz."

"Here~"

Bright voice.

Blonde hair, green eyes.

She had a hair roller in her hair, probably because she came down in a hurry.

She didn't seem to know.

"............I shouldn't tell her."

If I tell her, a conversation will start.

If a conversation starts, I'll get involved.

Check.

"Room 301. Lena von Eisenhardt."

"Yeah."

Short answer.

A woman with silver hair tied up roughly.

She was crossing her arms.

She was wearing a Swordsmanship Department jacket over her training clothes.

Does she sleep with a sword?

Did she come after training at dawn?

"Scary."

Check.

"Room 302. Aria Cernium."

"............."

There was no answer.

"Room 302?"

"............Yes."

A small voice that came out after 3 seconds.

Pink hair.

She was bowing her head deeply.

She couldn't look at me.

"That woman is more nervous than me."

A strange sense of camaraderie passed by, but.

Ignore.

Must not get involved.

Check.

30 people roll call finished.

"That's all."

I folded the list.

I should have just said "Dismissed" here.

A simple word.

But my mouth wouldn't open.

Because 30 people were still looking at me.

"Say it quickly. Dismissed. Two syllables."

"............."

Whoosh-

In the end, instead of speaking, I waved my hand once.

Meaning, go away.

But this silent wave of the hand with slit eyes.

"Oh... what is this?"

"He's reticent."

"Isn't the slit-eyed warden kind of cool?"

"Look at the sharp roll call. He finished it in 3 minutes."

"There must be people who like that style."

"No, I'm not."

I walked to the warden's room, hearing the whispering behind my back.

I wanted to run.

But if I run, it's weird.

I opened the door, went in, and closed it.

Thud.

I sat down in front of the door.

"Haaaa."

My heart felt like it was going to burst.

It wasn't a sharp roll call.

I just finished it quickly because I was scared.

It's not that I'm reticent.

I just couldn't speak.

"What's cool about looking sorrowful?"

I have to do this every day.

Every day.

I looked at the game console.

I turned it on.

Click.

This is my only sanctuary.

A week passed like that.

Roll call was done every day.

I was nervous every day.

Every day I received the evaluation of "sharp roll call".

The magic where a loser's fear is converted into a warden's dignity.

Conversion efficiency 100%.

A system where only I suffer.

Ha.

The warden's work itself was simple.

Morning roll call.

Facility inspection during the day.

Curfew check at night.

The rest is free time.

Free time = Game.

I adapted perfectly to this cycle.

Straight to the warden's room after roll call.

Close the door.

Turn on the game console.

Cut off from the world.

I wish this routine would last forever.

Truly.

But.

[STAGE 47 — Lord of the Abyss]

[HP: 100%]

This fucking boss hasn't been beaten for a week.

The timing for the 3rd phase instant-kill move missed by 0.3 seconds every time.

I had a good feeling today.

[Lord of the Abyss HP: 12%]

1st phase no damage.

2nd phase health 80%.

Entering 3rd phase.

I gripped the controller tightly.

I pulled the blanket up to my waist and stacked two pillows behind my back.

Perfect posture.

Perfect concentration.

The boss raised its arm.

Instant-kill motion.

Now is the time.

Click click click—!

[Lord of the Abyss HP: 7%]

It worked.

This time it will work.

5%.

3%.

The vibration of victory at my fingertips.

Thump, thump, thump.

"............."

Door.

Thump thump thump thump!

"Wa, Warden-sunbaenim..."

A woman's voice.

It was trembling.

She was crying.

"Sob... I... I'm sorry, but... the door..."

I looked up at the ceiling.

[Lord of the Abyss HP: 3%]

3%.

I didn't save.

If I leave here, it's from the 1st phase.

A week flies away.

Thump thump thump!

"Sunbaenim... please..."

If I ignore it.

→ Complaint → Warden dismissal → Single room withdrawal → Game console confiscation.

"............."

I put down the controller.

It didn't fall from my hand.

I forced it down.

The boss was wandering around at 3%.

It was time for automatic recovery to start.

"Next time, I'll make a pause function. Definitely, absolutely."

"Even if it means losing all my fortune."

I opened the door.

Creeeak.

The hallway lights hit my eyes.

It was torture for eyes adapted to the darkness of the warden's room.

I frowned.

My slit eyes became narrower.

I looked down.

Silver hair.

Blue eyes.

A face covered in tears.

Elise.

The woman who answered "Yes" clearly during the morning roll call.

Her nose was red and her shoulders were trembling.

Original main heroine.

Siegfried's woman.

If I get involved with this woman.

The future Sword Saint will cut me.

Not metaphorically.

Physically.

With a sword.

In two pieces.

Chop.

"I have to send her back."

"I... can I come in?"

No.

The moment I let her in.

"Elise went into the warden's room at night."

Half a day for this to spread.

Half of that to reach Siegfried's ears.

No.

But if I send her back.

→ Complaint → Warden dismissal → Game console.

Inside, the boss's health was recovering.

From 3% to 5%.

From 5% to 10%.

"I have to finish this quickly."

Without letting her into the room.

In the hallway.

Quickly.

I leaned against the door frame.

"What's the matter?"

Because I was nervous, my voice was low again.

I'm doing this because I'm scared.

With these slit eyes and this voice, it will be read as "cold" outside.

Ha.

It's sorrowful.

"Th-that... I..."

Elise couldn't continue her words.

Only her shoulders were heaving.

"Quickly."

"You can speak slowly, so please just tell me the main point."

I was trying to finish it quickly.

If I say it with this voice and these eyes.

"I... fought with Siegfried."

I screamed internally.

"Why him of all people?"

"That person... doesn't seem to know my feelings..."

"He only trains with his sword every day... and doesn't even glance at me..."

"I don't know... what I did wrong..."

Her crying intensified.

I ran a simulation in my head.

"You must be having a hard time" → Comfort → She comes again → Regular → Rumor → Siegfried → Decapitation.

"So what?" → Cold-blooded → Complaint → Warden dismissal → Game console.

"Break up" → Original work interference → Butterfly effect → Unknown → Danger.

Ha. Fuck.

Nothing works.

Whatever I say, I get involved.

"Words that won't cause misunderstanding. Words without emotion. Only facts."

I opened my mouth.

"Isn't it stranger if a swordsman doesn't train with a sword?"

"...Yes?"

Elise lifted her head.

"That's the same as eating. If they don't do it, that's the problem. I don't think there's a need to blame yourself for that."

I only said facts.

Dryly.

There's no room for misunderstanding here.

"And it's late, so go inside and sleep."

If I end it here, it's perfect.

Close the door and return to the game.

But.

This woman's face, covered in tears, came into view.

Her nose was red and her eyes were swollen.

She was fucking pretty.

If this visual comes out swollen tomorrow morning.

All eyes will be on her during roll call again.

"I wonder what she heard from the warden," such rumors will spread.

Then the sparks will fly to me.

That's why I said it.

"If that pretty face comes out swollen, I'll be in trouble during tomorrow's roll call. So don't cry and sleep."

"............."

Elise stopped.

Completely.

Her tears stopped abruptly.

Her crying stopped.

Her blue eyes widened.

"...Pretty?"

"What?"

Ah.

What did I say?

What did I just say?

"If that pretty face comes out swollen."

Ah.

Ah ah.

Ah ah ah.

"Fuck, that was just stating a fact."

She is pretty.

Objectively.

It's a fact.

Why is she taking it like that?

Elise's ears started to turn red.

Down to her neck.

Quickly.

"Ah, no. So, that..."

"Should I explain? No. If I explain, it gets longer."