[The Girl Who Cried]
Kayama Akari loves acting. She loves it because it is her dream, yet she hates it because everyone treats her with nothing but affectation. Because of her brother, people around her only act happy to appease her. She has lived a life where she has to be wary of her father, a yakuza boss, and where no one treats her with sincerity. Having only ever formed relationships built on performance, Akari eventually ended up mixing her hatred into her dreams. That was how her love-hate relationship with acting was born. Even so, she couldn't let it go because it was her dream. But then.
'Yamada...?'
What on earth is happening right now?
If I had paper and a pen, I’d want to write it down and let her know. That Akari is listening to this conversation...
"Why, Yamada? Why are you blocking the way all of a sudden?"
"...Hey, lean in for a second."
"Lean in? Ugh, don't be weird, what do you mean lean in?"
"No, just for a sec."
"I need to pack up quickly and get to my part-time job."
Ah, this guy was born with the "clueless male classmate" trope. As the Kiwi-cut guy turned to head back into the classroom, I blocked his path. It was absurd that he was so kind-hearted he didn't even think I was picking a fight. I had intended to whisper to him about Akari's presence, but...
'Come to think of it, why am I blocking him just because Akari is inside?'
I glanced back. Wasn't Akari the one who didn't want to be caught acting in the first place? She could just flexibly pass it off as self-study or something. Since she wasn't acting at all right now, it wouldn't be a problem if he went in...
'Ah, no, that's not it.'
The massive aura flowing out of the classroom. I understood. Akari must be in a state of total panic right now. I was certain that if I just barged in and said, "Oh, hey Akari~ what were you doing all alone?" it would be a disaster. And so, I continued the standoff for the sake of the timid Akari.
"Yamada, are you hiding something?"
"..."
"Aha, I get it, I get it..."
This guy, is he not completely clueless after all? The Kiwi-cut guy, who had been approaching with an increasingly lewd expression, grinned and opened his mouth.
Gulp.
The moment I leaned in, wondering what he was going to say:
"You were looking at dirty books, weren't you?"
"...Ah."
"Hehehe! I knew it! You were reading doujinshi, right?!"
No, you demon.
The Kiwi-cut guy must have had a switch flipped in some strange part of his brain, as he immediately started "guy talk." Games, soccer, lewd things.
"You only watch anime every day, so maybe..."
"As if..."
"Hey! You can be honest with me!"
"Haha..."
This had become a sorry situation for Akari. My offline self began to shrink from vicarious embarrassment. I shook my head violently, hoping he would stop.
"What's with that boring reaction?"
"I'm telling you, it's really not that."
"Well, you're in your prime right now, doing great in reality, so you have to manage your image even in front of me, right?"
"...??"
The Kiwi-cut guy glared at me with an annoyed expression. Perhaps forgetting he needed to pack up, he leaned against the wall and said:
"You're in the same group as the two prettiest girls in the first year, right? Honestly, I'm jealous! Ugh, I'm so jealous..."
"No, what could I possibly do..."
"No! I saw it!!"
I was startled by the shout that echoed through the hallway. What on earth did he see to cause such a commotion?
The Kiwi-cut guy shouted, looking like he was going to die of frustration.
"You!! You and that Akari were all lovey-dovey, it was crazy!!"
"What."
Akari is listening to this conversation. I truly wish this guy could read my mind.
"You helped her with her notes, and every time Akari looks at you, her cheeks are just, oh??"
That was because of the math assignment, and the blushing was just because she was timid and shy. But the Kiwi-cut guy, a man of conviction, ignored all of that and pushed forward at his own pace.
"I'm jealous of you...! I'm jealous of you living the life I dream of."
"No, seriously, that's not it."
"If there's ever an S-class beauty living next door to me, I'm going to kill you, Yamada."
"............"
Somehow, I had become a man on death row. Kiwi-cut guy, so your dream was only that much, and you'd kill someone over something so trivial. It was a bitter self-assessment.
"Sigh... I want to talk to Akari, too."
This conversation is... oh, god. I had to change the subject, or Akari might die of embarrassment.
"No, more than that, do you play LoL?"
"LoL? No, more than that, Akari is, you know!"
I was starting to get scared to look back. The Kiwi-cut guy was charging straight ahead like a bull, and he ended up connecting the conversation back to the topic of Akari.
"She's scary. She's reaaaally scary."
"...Don't judge people by their looks."
"That's not it, huh? Yamada, did you not know?"
"...?"
What did he mean, "did I not know"? Was he talking about how he'd been winking at me for a while and I hadn't understood a single thing? Just as I was about to whisper to him out of frustration to see if I could get the point across:
"Akari's brother, I mean."
"Brother?"
A topic I hadn't even imagined suddenly popped up. The Kiwi-cut guy scratched his head and said:
"They say he's the best fighter in this area. They say he's connected to biker gangs and the yakuza."
"..."
"You know, the guy with tattoos everywhere, all muscular, over 190cm tall."
I think I know who that is. If it's a huge, muscular, thug-like student, the one I saw in that alley...
'That person was Akari's brother?'
That someone who carried such a deep blue aura, someone who was so sad, was connected to the yakuza. Honestly, it was information I hadn't imagined, so I nodded without realizing it.
"They say he steals money from kids, beats them up, does underground gambling? ...Wouldn't Akari be similar?"
...Slowly.
When I looked back, two colors of aura were spreading from the classroom. A deep blue and a strong red. Sadness and anger. Whether it was because Akari had a talent for acting, they were the most powerful colors I had ever seen.
"If you didn't know, be careful. Of course, it's fine to talk like this just the two of us, but."
"..."
"Anyway, now that you know, you're lucky. Just watch from a distance, Yamada."
"Watch from a distance?"
"Yeah, what if you get involved for no reason and she takes your money? If you're unlucky, she might tell her brother and you might get beaten up."
Ah, ahh. Now I finally understood. The reason I hadn't known Kayama Akari at all.
"The other kids in class know that, so no one talks to her directly, right?"
I had discovered a girl who was in a different world, just playing games and watching anime in the back seat. The girl listening behind me was sad and angry right now. What had created such emotions?
"So just watch from a distance..."
I really didn't want to say it like this.
"Hey, that's bullshit."
"...Huh?"
Why did I say that? Was it because I had just seen Akari acting? Or was it because I had developed a crush on a girl I'd only talked to for three days? Was I being selfish, thinking that since she was pretty, I should cover for her? That wasn't it. None of that was it.
"Have you ever talked to her?"
"I told you earlier, you shouldn't..."
"You don't know anything, yet you're just labeling her as a delinquent?"
"..."
I didn't think I was cosplaying as a "good guy," either. It wasn't because Akari was listening behind me, or any reason like that. It was just a long-held thought of mine.
"You only earn the right to talk about what kind of person she is once you've experienced it yourself, you idiot."
A very old thought I'd had ever since I started seeing people's emotions. At first, I only read emotions and judged others, but I had changed my thinking to judge them only after experiencing them myself. Move, it's inside me. Didn't I move myself to see if Suo-sunbae was just playing me? And I learned that she thought of me as quite special. You might be happy, you might be disappointed, but if you truly want to know someone. If you want to judge them.
"..."
At the very least, you should try talking to them first. Ruri, and this Kiwi-cut guy, too. Everyone had a habit of judging others as they pleased. I could let it slide, but I was a bit angry this time, so I spoke up.
...Perhaps it was the influence of the sincere acting I had just seen.
Silence followed. The Kiwi-cut guy opened his mouth.
"...Yamada."
"...What."
If he threw a punch, I'd take one. Of course, after that, I'd tackle him and mount him. But.
"I guess so."
"...?"
"Just, you're right... no, you're just right. You're right."
The Kiwi-cut guy hung his head and didn't lift it for a long time. A moment of silence passed, and I had to wait a while. It took about five minutes for the Kiwi-cut guy to scratch his head and lift his head again.
"You were a pretty cool guy."
"...Suddenly?"
"You shouldn't say things like that when no one's around. For a girl you're not even close to... I just thought she was a dangerous beauty, but you... well, you're different."
...It's not like no one is around.
For a girl I'm not even close to, it seems like that.
"You're mature. Uh, much more than me..."
"...It's not like that."
"Tsk, I think I spoke too harshly."
I was momentarily flustered by a level of self-reflection I didn't expect from a first-year high schooler. So this was the kind of character he was.
'...Ah.'
No, he is. This kind of person...
"Sorry."
"Why are you suddenly apologizing to me?"
"Just, sorry."
Perhaps it was because I had thought of the Kiwi-cut guy as a villain without realizing it, but I felt sorry. I apologized like that, and the Kiwi-cut guy apologized to me as well.
"Let's be friends, Yamada."
"Yeah, sure."
"Anyway, keep watching your doujinshi. I have to go to my part-time job."
"No, I told you I wasn't watching that."
"Yeah, yeah. Whether you're watching 'front-door fusion' or whatever... I won't say anything."
You bastard, how do you even know that? No, before that...
Didn't you say you came to pack something up? I wondered if I should say this, but I couldn't say anything to the guy who had turned away while rubbing his nose. If I said it, he'd just come back and the problem would repeat itself.
And, Kiwi-cut guy. No, after 'Yuta,' the name written on his name tag, left. It felt like the final trial remained.
'I'm screwed.'
The classroom was silent, but a whirlpool of emotions was raging. What should I do about this? Should I just run away? If I just bolt, regardless of tropes or whatever, wouldn't everything be solved?
...Or so I thought.
"..."
"Um, Akari..."
Akari quietly came out. I flinched and took a step back, but something immediately came to mind.
'Does she not know that I saw her acting and all that? Then, would she just think I'm a reasonably righteous chuunibyou patient...'
That fantasy, unfortunately, did not exist.
"How much... did you see?"
"...Ah."
Akari seemed to have already figured it out to some extent. Being timid didn't mean she was stupid...
That wasn't a face that would fall for a lie.
"...From the acting, I saw... everything."
"...I see."
What on earth is this insane awkwardness? If this hadn't been the fourth floor, I might have made an emergency escape through the window right then and there. That standoff lasted for one minute, two minutes... Akari didn't say anything, then slowly approached.
"No, sorry. I didn't mean to watch."
"..."
"I tried to leave in the middle, but your acting was just too good."
"..."
"I'm really sorry, okay...? Really?"
One step. Through the gap between Akari and me, warmth was transmitted. I could feel Akari's body heat, which felt hot, coming over...
"Akari...?"
"Yamada, there's... one thing... I want to ask... you."
"............"
Suddenly, why the formal speech...
Akari was holding a crumpled script. And as she steadied her trembling hands, she said:
"Just now, was it all... acting?"
"..."
"Was it just... all... because I was listening... that you said that? Like the other... people... right?"
I shook my head. Because that really wasn't it. Even if she felt it was a lie, that couldn't be helped. She couldn't read emotions, after all.
"..."
"..."
The silence that settled for a moment. The space became so quiet I could hear ringing in my ears, and outside, I could hear the volleyball team laughing as they ran around. In that alien atmosphere, Akari couldn't bring out the next sentence.
Drip, drip...
"Why, why are you, why are you crying, you crazy girl."
"Hiccup."
Because Akari had finally exploded.
"Hiccup...! Sob."
People with clear and diverse emotional colors were easily captured by their emotions.
"Ah."
Deep blue and strong red. But the latter had disappeared. And the new emotion that had emerged in its place was.
"Sob, snif... sorry for, cry, crying."
I couldn't understand it. But it was a clear 'sense of relief.'
......... I should have packed my bag better.