Here to Get Carried
"Whew..."
I flopped flat onto the bed.
My whole body was soaked through with sweat.
"Hah... hah..."
Na Yu-na lay sprawled out beside me.
Unfocused eyes. Saliva trailing from half-parted lips. And that twitching ass.
The same hole that had clamped down on my cock and refused to let go until moments ago.
No — let's call it anal.
A customer's needs deserved respect.
"Hey, Na Yu-na."
"Mmnh... Oppa..."
She still hadn't come down from the afterglow. Her voice was endlessly sweet, dripping with flirtation every time she called me Oppa.
But I wasn't falling for it.
This girl was three years older than me.
"That succubus dungeon. You planning to re-clear it?"
"Probably... yeah."
"When are you going?"
"Dunno. No idea when that'll be."
Na Yu-na let out a small sigh. Her expression darkened.
"Ellara's been acting weird this whole time."
"Still?"
"Yeah. She just stares blankly into space, or mutters to herself. She's not the perfectionist Ellara she used to be."
Hmm.
That really was strange.
Ellara had been a machine of a woman — no blood, no tears. A party leader who chased nothing but efficiency and perfect clears.
And that woman had a screw loose now?
What was the cause?
A curse? No. She'd said she had a curse-resistance necklace.
Then a psychological problem?
What was the biggest psychological shift Ellara had gone through lately?
There was only one answer.
"Withdrawal."
"...Huh?"
Na Yu-na echoed back at me with a dumb look on her face.
"Withdrawal. Sex withdrawal."
"...What?"
"I mean, Ellara's a woman too, right? So she's probably not getting any right now. That's why she can't get her head straight and keeps acting weird."
"I don't think that's it..."
"Huh? Why not?"
"...Oppa, are you seriously asking because you don't know?"
Well, yeah, I was asking because I didn't know.
Why the hell would I ask if I already knew?
Asking questions you already know the answer to is just pure psychopath behavior.
"Ellara's a lesbian!"
"Whaaaat...!!"
"You really didn't know?"
"Th-then what the hell was all that sex with me?"
"She was forcing herself for the buffs, obviously. There were times we cleared without me, remember?"
True enough...
The way she never even let out a shallow moan no matter how hard I drove into her had left quite the impression.
Na Yu-na was heavily affected by the weather. Not because of her skills — she just hated it, or something. So whenever we hit a hot or cold dungeon, we'd hire a mercenary in her place and clear without her.
Which meant when the Neural Link was gone, I'd had to buff Ellara directly.
"She's a hardcore lesbian. She can't even stand making eye contact with men."
"So that's why she was always so cold with me?"
Of course, I was a man of boundless tolerance who could accept even that kind of treatment — so every time I saw Ellara acting all stiff, a different part of me would get stiff right along with her.
Her personality was pure garbage, but her looks alone were stunning enough to make the news without anyone batting an eye.
"That's a shock..."
"If you didn't know, I guess that makes sense..."
"No, honestly, deep down I figured she was acting weird because she couldn't forget my dick."
"Oppa... are you actually insane?"
Hey, calling me insane over that is a little much.
"Anyway, no clearing for a while. With Ellara like that, an A-grade dungeon would be suicide."
"So you're stuck wearing that horn indefinitely?"
"Hmph... don't say it. It's annoying."
Na Yu-na tried to yank the blanket up over her head. I snatched it away before she could.
"Don't hide it. It's kinda cute in its own way."
"...Really?"
"Yeah. Just pull a hoodie down over it when you're outside. Plenty of people do that these days."
"Haa... not like I'm going anywhere for a while anyway..."
She said that, but the corner of her mouth twitched up just a little.
Women really were weak to compliments.
I gave Na Yu-na's head a quick ruffle and got up from the bed. Then I gathered the clothes scattered across the floor and started pulling them on.
"Leaving already?"
Na Yu-na asked in a disappointed voice. The way her hands clenched the bedsheets dripped with lingering attachment.
"Yeah. I'm a busy man. Got Association work to do."
"What kind of work?"
"State secret."
I grinned and zipped up my pants.
I couldn't exactly say I was working under a government-certified pimp. I had my pride.
"Next time your libido explodes, give me a call. Through the Association."
"...Can't I just contact you personally?"
"Nope. I'm on legitimate official duty now. No illegal prostitution for me."
"You lunatic..."
Na Yu-na laughed like she couldn't believe me.
I gave a light wave and stepped out of the hotel room.
Click.
The air outside was cool. After sweating buckets, the freshness hit twice as hard.
My stats had gone up a fair bit today too, right?
Humming cheerfully, I stepped into the elevator.
On the way home, Ellara kept circling through my head.
She's really a lesbian?
No matter how hard I thought about it, I'd never picked up on any of that.
Even the first time we had sex, she hadn't shown any major resistance.
More importantly — if she'd never been with a man, shouldn't there have been a hymen?
But the first time I slept with Ellara, my cock had slid freely through her pussy without the slightest obstruction.
If the lesbian thing is true, then why the hell is Ellara acting so weird?
I couldn't figure it out.
If she were a lesbian, she could've just gotten her rocks off with other women.
According to Na Yu-na's description, it sounded like her mind was somewhere else entirely...
Had something else happened?
Mulling it over, I arrived home.
The second I got in, I opened the fridge, pulled out a cold bottle of water, and chugged it down.
Hydration after sex was mandatory.
"Ahhh! That's good."
I dropped onto the sofa.
Just as I was settling in comfortably and reaching for my phone to check my status window—
Bzzzt—. Bzzzt—.
My phone rang.
An unsaved number. But the pattern felt strangely familiar.
"Hello?"
"Hunter Yoo Doo-bong. It's me."
A calm, intelligent voice came through the receiver.
Hmm...
Where had I heard that before?
I couldn't quite place it.
"...? 'It's me' who, exactly?"
"...I am the secretary to the Hunter Association President."
"Ah, that hot— I mean, haha... You're the secretary? What can I do for you?"
A small sigh slipped through from the other end.
"Have you safely completed your coupling with Hunter Na Yu-na?"
"Of course. I left her so satisfied her lower back was still tingling."
"...You may omit the detailed descriptions."
The secretary cut me off firmly.
Shame. I'd been dying to share my legendary anal sex exploits.
"I'm contacting you on the President's orders. It's time to fulfill the second promise."
"The second promise?"
"The B-grade gate clear support for your rank advancement."
Oh!
It was finally here.
Free bus boarding time for stat farming!
"Do I need to go right now?"
"Preparations will be complete within two days. Simply come to the coordinates we'll send you later. The Association will arrange escorts to accompany you."
"E-e-escorts?!"
Oh, shit!
Since when was the Hunter Association running an escort service?!
Escorts!
Did that mean someone would be assigned to keep me entertained on the side while we cleared?
I startled so hard that the secretary's voice dropped a full register lower.
"...I don't know what you're imagining, but it's not that."
"...It's not?"
"They are elite combat agents affiliated with the Association. I suggest you abandon any unnecessary expectations."
"Aww... and here I got my hopes up..."
"Sigh..."
Beep—.
The call ended with the secretary's sigh.
"Isn't that a little harsh, the way they treat people...?"
That last sigh had been a genuine one — the kind you let out when you've just witnessed something truly pathetic.
Honestly, I wasn't that bad.
It was just a joke. A joke.
Let's see.
Two days, they said?
Then I should start getting ready myself.
I walked over to the gear piled in the corner of the room.
A cheap C-grade buffer robe and staff.
Honestly, the staff was just for show.
Every buffer seemed to carry one, so I'd bought a cheap one myself.
I didn't use a staff for casting buffs.
...
Unless the thing hanging below counted as a staff. In which case, yes, I did use a staff.
The coordinates the secretary had pinned were a quiet open lot on the outskirts of Seoul.
The moment I stepped out of the taxi, a blue rift filled my vision.
A B-grade gate.
Control lines were strung around the perimeter, and civilian access was under tight lockdown.
"That must be it."
I strode toward the gate with confidence.
Two men in black tactical gear stood in front of the control line.
One look at their mountain-sized builds told you they radiated pure human-weapon energy.
"Are you Hunter Yoo Doo-bong?"
The scar-covered man on the left asked. His voice was deep enough to echo out of a cave.
"Yes, that's me. You're from the Association?"
"Correct. I'm Kang Chul-min of the Association Special Response Team. This is Vice Team Leader Choi Tae-soo."
The sharp-looking man on the right gave a brief nod.
Both of them had piercing eyes. The words "elite combat agents" fit them perfectly.
"Pleasure to meet you. So you're my bus drivers for the day."
I grinned and stuck out my hand.
Neither of them took it.
Instead, they looked me up and down with peculiar expressions.
"...So you're the infamous Pussy Destroyer?"
Kang Chul-min asked, frowning.
Ah, damn it.
That goddamn nickname again.
"No, that's a misunderstanding. I'm just extraordinarily well-endowed."
"The President gave us special orders to come, but... frankly, I don't understand it."
Choi Tae-soo chimed in with a cold voice.
"Deploying elite agents like us just to raise one C-grade buffer. And a delinquent hunter who does nothing but prostitution, at that."
They were needling me right to my face.
My mood soured instantly.
But I had to endure it.
These bastards were the precious slaves who were going to raise my stats.
...
Still. Fuck it.
I had something to say.
"Hey."
"...?"
"Is gate pussy really that good?"
"......"
"Ah — no! This isn't some power play. I'm genuinely curious. I've never tried it."
Honestly, I was dying to know.
Just how good was gate pussy that everyone was so obsessed with fucking gates?
I'd heard it was slick, squishy, and squeezed with a chewy tightness.
But wasn't that just regular pussy?
So I asked straight out.
I was the type who couldn't stand not knowing something.
"...Let's go."
"Huh? You're not going to answer?"
"It can't be put into words. Not unless you've done it yourself."
"Whaaat... so it's even better than that slick-squishy-chewy-springy feeling they talk about on the news?"
"...Heh. This is why cowards don't make it."
...What the fuck did he just say?
Coward?
Y-you crazy gate-fucker bastards...!
Huff... huff...
I barely managed to hold my temper.
Honestly, if we fought, I'd get my ass handed to me. That much was obvious.
...
But is it really that good?
I could tolerate them treating me like some gate virgin.
But.
Not explaining it properly pissed me the fuck off.
Ha. Fine.
Just you wait.
"You're a buffer, correct? We don't need buffs. The two of us can clear a B-grade gate just fine on our own. You just follow behind and carry the luggage."
"I can't cast buffs anyway."
"...?"
"I said I can't cast them."
"Wait — the Association ordered us to raise a buffer who can't even cast buffs...?"
Hmm.
Apparently these hunter hyungs didn't even know why I was under Association protection.
That was why they were coming on so aggressively.
All of it was a mess they'd brought on themselves.
Who told them to start railing gates like animals?
Heh heh.
"I can only cast them on women."
"Excuse me?"
"It's true. Ah, well, I've never actually tried casting on a guy, but... uh... want me to try?"
"Didn't you just say you can only cast on women?"
"Well... that's true, but... I've never even attempted it on a man. The thing is, my buff condition is..."
I sidled up next to the hunters and whispered in their ears.
"I have to cum inside."
"...?"
"I said I have to cum inside. O-of course, if you hyungs are into that sort of thing, I'm willing to sacrifice my body..."
"Y-you fucking—! We don't need a buff that goddamn disgusting! We can clear this just fine without it!"
"Whew. That's a relief. Honestly, I was worried about what I'd do if you hyungs actually asked for it."
"...Let's just move out."
Heh heh.
Honestly, if they'd actually asked for the buff, I'd have called the Association screaming about them sticking me with a pair of crazy butt pirates.
Still, landing that hit felt good.
I beamed and gave them a big thumbs-up.
"I'm counting on you hyungs!"
"...This guy really has no shame."
Choi Tae-soo clicked his tongue.
Not my problem.
I hummed a little tune and walked toward the gate.
"Alright then — shall we get going? Drivers!"
The two men sighed like they couldn't believe what they were dealing with. Then they drew their weapons and threw themselves into the gate.
I followed right behind them, stepping into the blue rift.
A wave of stifling heat. The stench of sulfur stabbing my nose. A volcanic zone boiling with red lava in every direction.
"Whoa. This is a sauna with extra steps."
I wiped the sweat beading on my forehead.
Up ahead, Kang Chul-min and Choi Tae-soo dropped into combat stances.
"Stay sharp. This is a B-grade Volcano Gate. Monsters could come at us any second."
"Yes, yes. I'll keep myself nice and safe."
These people really didn't know a single thing about me.
Was that the Association covering things up properly, or were these just careless people who didn't even bother learning about the guy they were escorting?
As the hunters locked into alert mode, I slipped to the back and planted my staff like a walking stick.
...
Ah. Right. Staffs were originally meant to be used as walking sticks.
Anyway.
Full luggage-carrier mode: ON.
Grrrk—!
Right then, a massive plume of fire erupted from the lava.
Giant lizard monsters with bodies wreathed in flame.
A pack of Fire Lizards emerged into view.
"Combat ready!"
Kang Chul-min roared as he drew his greatsword.
Choi Tae-soo gripped his dual blades and dropped low.
"Ooooh, cool! Fighting! Fighting!"
I clapped from the rear and cheered with everything I had.
A chance to watch elite agents fight up close.
I was genuinely excited to see how well they'd perform.
"Fuck, this guy is seriously annoying."
Choi Tae-soo gritted his teeth and charged the monsters.
The B-grade gate clear was officially underway.