The Only Sane Man
I trudged back home.
Something felt off.
It felt like taking a shit and pinching it off halfway.
Of course, what I had pinched off wasn't shit, but cum.
I had gone to that hotel fully prepared to shoot at least five loads.
But I only managed one.
And even that was a forced squeeze, blocked by a cervix shield.
Coming back halfway left my lower half feeling completely empty and unfulfilled.
“Sigh... My precious cum, wasted.”
Filled with regret, I massaged my balls.
There must be a whole bucketload of cum stored inside this sack.
Am I just supposed to let it rot like this...?
But it was too late to go out for another round now.
Ultimately, I gave up and sat in front of my computer.
To check today's news.
'The world is changing so fast these days, it's hard to keep up.'
Especially those gate-fuckers.
Those bastards are multiplying exponentially, like cockroaches.
[BREAKING] Hunter Association Faces Protests Demanding Measures Against the "Gate Onahole" Epidemic!
[TRENDING] "My husband is having an affair with a gate!" Wives of Hunters Cry Out in Despair.
The world was still suffering from a massive headache due to the gate-fucking hunters.
But honestly, from my perspective, it was fantastic news.
Even if gate-fucking was a societal problem,
it wasn't a problem for the world's survival at all.
Think about it.
Those annoying, filthy C-class and below trash gates.
Those crazy bastards were voluntarily clearing them infinitely.
And it wasn't like high-ranking hunters were abandoning upper-tier gates either.
For B-class gates and above, they were too terrified of getting their dicks sliced off, so they cleared them the old-fashioned way.
The world was still spinning just fine.
Though there were minor side effects, like female hunters going wild with horniness.
“Well, that's none of my business.”
I casually scrolled through the articles, checking up on the state of the world.
Then, one name caught my eye.
It was an article about S-class hunters.
Specifically, the hottest name of them all.
S-class Hunter, Wolshik.
Snow-white silver hair.
Skin as pale as snow.
Perky breasts and a flawless, slender body with zero excess fat.
Did they say she just turned twenty?
Awakening at sixteen, she became an S-class hunter in just one year—a genius among geniuses.
She was a woman who could be called the idol of all hunters.
Excluding the Rank 1, Madowang,
and Rank 2, Geomsung,
those two old fogeys,
she was the strongest and most beautiful hunter of the current generation.
That was Rank 3, Wolshik.
According to the article, she had successfully closed an S-class gate with her elite party.
“Sigh... I'm so jealous.”
I want to join Wolshik's party too.
I want to join and have wild, messy sex with her.
Of course, the primary goal wouldn't be the sex itself, but to give her my buff.
My creampie buff would be way more effective than whatever A-class buffer they have in that party.
With just one shot of the holy cum sprayed from my holy dick, Wolshik would be flying high.
What a waste.
Smacking my lips, I scrolled down a bit further.
And then...
I doubted my own eyes.
[EXCLUSIVE] Wolshik to Reach Peak Climax Tonight. Climax to Be Broadcast Live in Real-Time!
“......”
I rubbed my eyes for a moment.
Thinking I had misread it.
“...?”
But I hadn't.
My eyes were working perfectly fine.
“W-W-What the fuck?!”
I kicked my chair back and stood up.
They're broadcasting Wolshik's climax live?!
No matter how rare and hard to find male hunters are these days!
To think things had gotten so dire that they're live-streaming an S-class hunter's orgasm on the internet!
Does that mean Wolshik's awakening fetish is exhibitionism, getting off while live-streaming?!
“This is insane! I have to watch this no matter what!”
I grabbed the mouse and furiously clicked the article.
My hands were trembling.
An S-class hunter's climax.
And the climax of that haughty, beautiful silver-haired girl, no less.
If it's pay-per-view, I'm willing to pay a hundred thousand won—no, a million won.
Gulping, I waited for the loading screen.
The page loaded.
And then...
After reading the article, my jaw dropped.
Tonight at 10 PM, a cosmic show will light up the night sky. The total lunar eclipse, where the moon is completely covered by Earth's shadow, is scheduled to reach its peak climax. The observatory will broadcast this climax live on YouTube...
“......”
I stared at the picture of the big, round moon on the monitor.
The moon.
The actual moon floating in the sky.
“I-I'll kill him...!”
I clenched my fists.
“This crazy trash journalist bastard! I'll track him down and murder him!!”
How dare he trick me.
So that was the 'lunar eclipse' they meant!
Cleverly mixing a person's name with a natural phenomenon to bait clicks.
I fell hook, line, and sinker for a trash reporter's marketing scheme.
Huffing and puffing, I glared at the monitor as if I were about to smash it.
But...
My anger quickly subsided.
Instead, a strange sense of admiration washed over me.
“Fuck... I guess you have to go this far to be a professional.”
His mindset was on another level.
That skill of baiting clicks at the risk of his own life.
Surely, I wasn't the only one who clicked with that expectation.
Even if hunters had already become gate-fuckers,
ordinary citizens still possessed normal sexual desires.
Hunters, blessed by mana to be gorgeous and stunning, were like idols to the general public.
Such insane clickbait power, deceiving even the public.
Placing 'Lunar Eclipse Climax Live Stream' right below an article about S-class Hunter Wolshik...
Who could resist clicking that?
This isn't a scam.
'It's marketing. High-level marketing.'
Whew.
I changed my mind.
Today, I learned a valuable life lesson from a trash reporter on an obscure gossip site.
“I, too, must act as a professional sex hunter.”
Honestly, today's sex with Park Ara was close to a failure.
But a true professional takes responsibility even for their failures.
When Park Ara calls me again, I'll make sure to give her top-tier service.
'First, let's go for another round.'
Professionals are those who use failure as a stepping stone to reach greater heights.
Using today's failure as experience,
I will become a great hunter who conquers more pussies and stacks more stats.
“First of all, it was a failure as a professional, but the sex training itself was also a failure.”
Sitting down, I carefully reflected on today's failure.
What was my original goal?
Training through sex while also getting paid.
In other words, sweating bullets, absorbing mana, and raising my stats.
But during my meeting with Park Ara, I focused too much on the service.
Because I was letting her sniff my balls, I barely did any of the crucial piston movement.
And there was that little incident with Park Ara's cervix.
Consequently, since I didn't sweat, my stats didn't go up.
Then, what if I just do the sex mechanically?
For high-ranking hunters like Park Ara, I charge a premium and provide service-oriented sex.
And for the mountain of C-class and below hunters currently piled up on HuntTalk...
I'll just perform mechanical thrusting.
If I specify beforehand, 'Only penetrative sex allowed,' wouldn't they still accept?
Beggars can't be choosers when these women are starving for it.
Of course, it's not like I won't provide any service at all.
I should at least guarantee basic foreplay and a climax.
And I can accommodate simple fetishes along the way.
Because I'm a professional.
“Alright. Let's test it out first.”
I opened HuntTalk and sent a message to one of the waiting C-class hunters.
Pound! Pound! Pound!
“Haaah...! Ah! I-I'm coming...! ♥♥”
Pound! Pound!
“Again, I'm coming again...! ♥♥”
Pound! Pound! Pound!
“Ahhh... Haaah... ♥”
Easy.
It's so fucking easy.
Right, sex was always supposed to be this easy.
Normal female hunters are supposed to be completely helpless once they get dick.
Combine that with the massive sexual frustration built up over the past month,
and this is practically super easy mode.
'Park Ara was just a tough one.'
She must have had a ton of pent-up lust too,
yet she maintained that level of sanity just to sniff my balls.
As expected of a tank, her mental fortitude and patience were outstanding.
For proof, just look at this hunter pinned beneath me.
She's a C-class hunter.
And her class is a damage dealer.
The moment my dick went in, she lost the ability to speak human language.
Now, she's just drooling and trembling all over.
'She's coming so hard that her pussy is boiling hot, which makes me sweat a lot, so that's good.'
I vigorously pumped my hips.
Beads of sweat dripped down my jawline.
Yes.
This is what cardio is supposed to feel like.
I could feel the mana being absorbed into my body.
And finally...
Plop.
My dick slipped out of the hot-pussied hunter's body.
“Whew. That's been two hours, and you climaxed twelve times. How was it?”
“I-It was the best... ♥”
“Haha, I'm glad you're satisfied. Please leave a five-star review.”
“Y-Yes... ♥”
With her tongue completely loosened,
she tapped her smartphone with trembling hands to leave a review and rating.
Ah.
Look at these glorious five stars.
Under my promotional post, there were already over ten reviews.
...
The last review is a bit unfair.
I mean, she was the one who asked me to hit her as hard as I could!
It's not like I'm some piece of trash who just beats women without hesitation, fuck.
It was all born out of a spirit of customized customer service.
Sigh.
“The base fee is 10 million won. Please transfer it to my account. Hope to see you again.”
“O-Okay... ♥”
Click.
I stepped out of the motel room.
As expected, the outside air after a sweaty sex session hits differently.
Refreshing.
And...
just as I expected, the efficiency wasn't bad.
Over the past few days, I went around fucking C-class and lower hunters like crazy.
About fifty times in total.
Ejaculating more than five times a day...
But the fruits of my hard labor were sweet.
I opened my status window to check my stats.
A total of 4 stat points gained.
It rose almost exactly as I had estimated.
'Yeah, this is the way.'
Thinking I should only target high-ranking hunters was my own arrogance.
I've changed my mindset now.
High-ranking hunters are just a bonus.
My default growth path lies with the abundant C-class and below pussies.
I mean, hunters.
While mechanically fucking those hunters to raise my stats,
I'll take the occasional high-paying request from high-ranking hunters.
That way, I make money and feel twice as good.
It's about shifting from 'the glass is half empty' to 'the glass is half full'—a positive mindset.
'Heh, I really am a genius.'
I'm starting to scare myself with my own brilliant intellect.
Plus, this sophisticated mindset of being willing to learn and adapt when I'm wrong.
I'm almost terrified of how much I'll grow in the future.
Tap, tap!
I patted my dick over my pants in high spirits.
Good job, partner.
I walked back home with a light step.
“A C-class hunter. His awakened skill is... ahem, a buffer. His name is... Yoo Doobong, was it?”
“Yes, President.”
“The highly potent hunter, 'Pussy Destroyer'... and he actually has clients?”
“He already has over twenty reviews. Some of them are even B-class hunters.”
B-class hunters.
Though they were called B-class, they were elite powerhouses in the top 5% of South Korea.
To think even such hunters were paying money to use that man.
“So the rumors are true.”
“...Yes, sir.”
“How many normal male hunters did you say we have left in South Korea?”
“......”
The secretary remained silent, like a mute who had eaten honey.
“Just tell me. I already have a rough idea anyway.”
“About... about twenty, sir...”
Throb.
Park Chuno, the President of the Hunter Association, clutched his throbbing head.
Every time he heard reports of that number shrinking,
he felt like another ten percent of his already thinning hair was falling out.
“Sigh... Twenty...”
“And eighteen of them are gate drifters who went missing less than three years ago and haven't been officially declared dead yet.”
“So in reality, there are only two?”
“One of them is gay.”
“That motherfucker.”
“...President?”
“Ahem. Excuse me. A slip of the tongue.”
Park Chuno coughed to compose himself.
“Then, the only active male hunter who actually views women as sexual partners is Hunter Yoo Doobong.”
It was despairing.
To think there was only a single heterosexual male hunter left in South Korea.
Moreover, this gate-fucking curse was spreading worldwide.
South Korea was a country with exceptionally advanced internet infrastructure.
Could information leaks really be prevented in such a place?
Actually, it couldn't even be called a leak.
Those crazy bastards were just filming themselves thrusting into gates and uploading it.
The gate-fucking phenomenon was spreading globally faster than the speed of light.
Recently, the United States had even put political pressure on South Korea.
Claiming that South Korea was the epicenter of this insane phenomenon.
'Damn it, we're going crazy over here too...!'
Slide.
A few more precious strands of hair slipped from Park Chuno's scalp.
At this rate, going completely bald was only a matter of time.
And...
there was an even greater crisis looming right in front of them.
“...How is Wolshik's condition?”
“She seems to have vented some of it during the battle in the last S-class gate... but she will likely reach her limit soon.”
“What did Geomsung say?”
“He said if she suffers another mana rampage due to her uncontrollable libido, he might have to sever one of her arms to subdue her...”
“Damn it! Does it make any sense to suffer a mana rampage because of sexual desire?!”
Slam!
Park Chuno slammed his desk.
“She is an S-class hunter. We cannot judge her by normal standards. Besides, she is twenty years old, at the peak of her sexual drive...”
“Sigh... Yes, she's young, so young. And she's the hope of South Korea.”
S-class Hunter Wolshik was young enough to be considered the youngest.
Both as an S-class hunter,
and as a regular hunter.
If she lost an arm, it would be a devastating blow to South Korea's military strength.
“...There's no choice.”
“Shall we invite him?”
“To think the Hunter Association, which protects the nation, has to call a mere male escort as our savior...”
“Still, he is our only hope right now. And... he is a hunter, after all.”
“...Understood. Bring him in politely.”
“Yes, sir.”
Creak.
Click.
The elegantly dressed female secretary left the President's office.
Thud.
Association President Park Chuno collapsed deep into his chair.
“Sigh... It's the end of the world, the end of the world.”
The former President was truly mischievous.
Why on earth did he put an unawakened ordinary person in such an important position?
No matter how much he advocated for pro-hunter policies during his time as a politician,
handing over a position that was too much for an ordinary citizen to handle.
“Did he put me here just to see me get fucked over?”
He clearly remembered teasing him a few times during past drinking sessions.
'What did I say back then?'
He briefly retraced his memories.
'Hyung-nim, please wear a hat. The light reflecting off your head is too blinding.'
Those were the words Park Chuno had said to the former President, who was bald at the time.
...
Hmm.
The current Hunter Association President.
Park Chuno, who felt like he was living up to his name of chasing after people.
He began to harbor a very reasonable suspicion toward the former President.