Kicked Out of the Party
I stared at Elara, the party leader, my eyes wide as saucers. “Yu Dubong. You’re expelled from our party.”
It hit me like a bolt from the blue. She was a foreign hunter working in Korea, yet here she was, leading an A-class party thanks to her outstanding abilities.
“Huh? I don’t get it! I contributed plenty to this party!”
I protested strongly, but her reply was ice-cold.
“I know. I’m well aware of how high your contribution is.”
“Then why the hell are you kicking me out? Is it because my hunter rank is low?”
“Rank is just decoration for a buffer.”
“B-but then why…”
If it wasn’t about rank, my remaining common sense couldn’t make any sense of this. I was a C-class hunter. But this was an A-class party. The only reason I’d been able to join them was thanks to my unique A-grade skill, Sacred Communion.
In simple terms, it was a buff skill. The only problem was its rather tricky activation condition. I had to share physical intimacy with a female hunter, then pour my seed into her womb. Only then would all her stats temporarily skyrocket by 200%. A miraculous skill, really.
Of course, it wasn’t without drawbacks. The buff only lasted one hour.
And dungeon raids usually take longer than an hour.
That’s why buffers typically saved their buff for right before the hardest boss room. And that’s exactly what I had done. I’d given them the buff before the boss room. So why was I being expelled?
I’d done my best, damn it.
Park Ara, the hunter who’d been listening to my protests, suddenly shouted. True to her name, she had an obscenely voluptuous body. As a tanker, she could take my hardest thrusts without flinching, which had been fantastic.
“It’s because every time you enter a gate you fuck all our pussies raw, you bastard!”
“Exactly! That’s why our overall combat power actually drops!”
Even the mage, Na Yuna, chimed in. I felt wronged.
“But it’s true that we beat the boss easily thanks to my buff!”
“Then don’t have sex at all! Fuck, you’re so insanely virile we can’t handle it! Do you know how shitty it feels to face a boss with our legs shaking like jelly?”
“I like being the one in control, but you just pound away like a wild animal,” Park Ara growled through gritted teeth.
Im Soyun, the scout who had been standing nearby, joined in and started piling on the criticism too. What the hell? What kind of world was this turning into?
Was being too virile a crime now? Was being good at sex suddenly a sin?
“Think about it, girls. It’s the same principle as taking a pre-workout supplement before exercise. Your heart races and you sweat, right? My buff is like that supplement. Sure, there might be some side effects like shaky legs, but in the end you get stronger, don’t you?”
I couldn’t get kicked out like this. I racked my brain and tried to explain my ability as logically as possible.
“Bullshit! You fuck us once and we can’t even swing our swords properly!”
“B-but my ability only gets stronger through sex…”
“Anyway. You’re expelled. Good luck surviving on your own.”
Elara drew a firm line with decisive finality. Yuna crossed her arms and turned her head away.
“It was fucking awful meeting you… Yeah, you really were just a dick.”
With Seria’s final vulgar insult, the women left without looking back.
“W-wait! Girls…! Just listen to me for a second…!”
My hand stretched out into empty air, finding nothing. And just like that, I was pathetically kicked out of an A-class party.
My footsteps dragged heavily as I walked down the street.
“Sigh… My life.”
How did it come to this? I had originally been an ordinary twenty-year-old. An orphan with no money. The only thing I possessed was a sturdy body. Then one day I opened my eyes and found myself in this world where hunters and gates existed.
Luckily I had the aptitude to become a hunter. Even though I was only C-class, I was grateful just to have become one. Hunters in this world had peculiar constitutions. Once they started handling mana, their sex drive would skyrocket as a side effect. And whatever fetish they had hidden inside would inevitably manifest.
The problem was relationships with ordinary people. A normal person’s body couldn’t withstand a hunter’s boiling mana and stamina. They could get hurt, or in serious cases, even die. The female hunters with their wild fetishes didn’t help matters either.
Anyway. That led to an unspoken rule among hunters. After clearing a gate together, it became completely normal for men and women to have a vigorous round of sex—like downing a bowl of soup—before heading home.
I had certainly enjoyed the benefits of that system.
I went from a virgin loser to having slept with over a hundred women.
I gave buffs and relieved my sexual frustration. It was killing two birds with one stone.
“But even when I make them feel good they still complain…”
After getting kicked out of the party, my reputation hit rock bottom. I tried joining a few random wild parties, but…
Yu Dubong? Oh, that pussy destroyer? If you party with him, all the girls will pass out before we even reach the boss room.
The buff is good, but the stamina drain is way too severe. I’d rather bring two buffers instead.
Thanks to these shitty rumors spreading everywhere, no party would take me anymore. Which meant I had no income.
It had already been a month since I was cut from the party. In the end, I had to take a part-time job as a porter just to survive. I became the guy who carried heavy loads and trudged after parties inside gates. From the dedicated buffer of an A-class party to a lowly baggage carrier overnight.
“Fuck you, Elara, you bitch. Just try crawling back to me later when you regret it. You won’t get a single drop.”
In my resentment I swung my fist at the empty air. But reality was a gutter. I was barely scraping by for tonight’s dinner money.
Then one day, while I was spending my gloomy days like that, an unprecedented event that would flip the entire world upside down occurred.
Every giant electronic billboard on the streets, every news feed on smartphones—every single medium was flooded with reports of this one incident. The news reached me too.
I was sitting under a parasol in front of a convenience store, slurping cup ramen, when—
“Cough! Ack! W-what?”
I nearly shot noodles out my nose. The news anchor was delivering the briefing with a deadly serious expression.
Last month, during the clearing of a D-class gate, a male hunter known only as Mr. Kim… inserted his penis into the gate’s entrance—that is, the spatial rift.
“…Is that guy out of his mind?”
The curse slipped out before I could stop it. Sticking your dick into a spatial rift? Wouldn’t it get sliced clean off?
But the anchor’s next words completely shattered my common sense.
Surprisingly, Mr. Kim reported that his penis was not severed. Instead, he felt an overwhelming pleasure. The mana flow inside the gate apparently acted like mucous membrane—slippery, wriggling, and tightly squeezing with a chewy sensation.
Even more shocking is that this act received official ‘clear confirmation.’ When Mr. Kim ejaculated into the gate, the gate was cleared, experience points rose, and items dropped.
“………”
I dropped the cup ramen I was eating onto the ground. What kind of bullshit was this? You stick it in a gate, cum, and the gate clears? You get exp and loot drops?
And… slippery wriggly chewy squeezing feeling?
What the hell is this crazy nonsense…
Currently, countless male hunters are flocking to gates after hearing this news. This clearing method, nicknamed Click Ejaculation, allows gates to be closed simply by relieving sexual desire without fighting monsters, causing an enormous stir.
The screen changed to show a long line of male hunters in front of a gate. Every single one of them had their zippers down, waiting their turn with ecstatic expressions.
“Aaaah…! I’m cumming! It’s closing!!”
One hunter on screen thrust his hips into the gate’s blue rift and screamed. With a loud pop, the gate vanished and magic stones and items rained onto the floor.
“Woooo!! Next is my turn!!”
“Move! I’m first!”
It was absolute pandemonium. I sat there with my mouth hanging open.
“The world has gone completely insane…”
But even this crazy behavior had its limits. The news immediately began reporting on the side effects.
However, it has been confirmed that this method cannot be used on B-class or higher gates. The mana density and tightening force of high-rank gates cannot be endured by an ordinary hunter’s sex drive. Attempting it anyway has resulted in male hunters collapsing from cerebral hemorrhage.
Should I call that fortunate? Since it didn’t work on B-class or above, there wouldn’t be an inflation of high-level items.
“Ugh, fuck. Job hunting is just going to get even harder now.”
The fact that Click Ejaculation didn’t work on B-class gates or higher meant it did work on C-class and below. The problem was that the gates I usually entered were D to C-class. Fuck. What a shitty world.
Thinking that, I finished the rest of my ramen. And exactly one month later, I realized my prediction had been completely wrong.