Push and Pull (2)
Did he... just praise me?
Rin doubted her own ears.
The magitech magic staff had made it into the masterpiece line, true enough, but compared to the automatic door it was a step down. The intention behind the invention was noble; the grade of the technology it employed was not especially high. As the first piece to incorporate a magitech formula, its construction was also rather crude next to the formula woven into the automatic door. Yet because it carried her earnest wish to help the weak, it had still earned a place among the masterpieces. That was all the magitech magic staff really was.
If it had been only the magitech magic staff, I could have endured being dismissed. It was made with good intentions. Even if that man laughed at me, I could have told myself it was fine. I made it for the weak. Offen Termin is just too stupid to understand that. I could have thought that.
The magitech magic staff had been her safety net—something she could introduce while fully expecting scorn and then soothe herself afterward with the excuse of good intentions. A work she had presented on the premise that it would be torn down and ignored.
And yet he said he was... moved. By my work. That man.
Offen had praised this magitech magic staff. The same man who had shown not the slightest reaction to the automatic door had looked at this staff and offered praise. It was so far outside her expectations that she nearly let it slide.
No, Rin. You can’t let it go that easily. Offen Termin can freely manipulate subspace. He isn’t the sort of person who would praise a mere magitech magic staff. Yes—this is a trap. He’ll pretend to compliment it and then sneer, “Did you really think I’d praise something like this?” He never even said what moved him. So don’t drop your guard.
Rin sharpened the wariness that had briefly loosened and kept her tension wound tight.
Until he properly explains what moved him and what he found so remarkable, I won’t fall for any amount of sweet talk—
“A magic staff created by the most gifted mage in the history of the Magic Tower... for ordinary people who cannot use magic. Lady Rin, you possess not only innate talent but a righteous heart as well. Truly admirable.”
...He called me admirable. N-no. He could still mock me right after this! Snap out of it, Rin!
Offen’s sudden praise left her momentarily unsteady, but she steeled herself once more. Then, with her mana quill, she wrote words in the air for him to read.
“Earlier you said my magitech magic staff was amazing. Exactly which part did you find so remarkable?”
She needed to confirm whether the praise he had spoken was sincere or merely the setup for mockery.
This man only heard me describe the work. He never even saw a demonstration. And yet he praises it as amazing? Anyone can see that isn’t genuine praise. He must have said something he didn’t mean just so he could sneer afterward.
Offen possessed the magical knowledge and capacity to handle subspace, yet he was still only an ordinary person. He could never deceive the senses of Rin, mage of the Hero’s party, with mere lies.
If you thought I’d fall for it so easily, you miscalculated, Offen Termin. Go on—try to toy with me using that meager tongue of yours. I’ll see right through it and laugh in your face instead!
Rin focused every nerve on him, eyes blazing as she glared. Offen met that razor-edged gaze and opened his mouth to answer.
“Ah. I found the magitech formula you created by grafting magic formulas onto magitech truly remarkable. You said it was a technique of your own devising, Lady Rin. And this magitech magic staff was the first work to incorporate that technique, wasn’t it?”
“Ah, yes. That’s right. But how did you know that?”
“Because when you introduced the magitech magic staff, Lady Rin, there was a trace of regret in your eyes.”
At his words Rin’s shoulders gave a startled twitch. He had struck the mark dead-on.
He... read the regret? From me? Did I fail to hide my expression because I was too tense earlier?
To Rin, this magitech magic staff was the most painful of all her masterpieces. Heaven had granted her immense talent, and she held the conviction that such talent must be used for the weak. She wanted to stop the good from having everything taken from them simply because they lacked the means to resist malice and violence. That was why she had volunteered for the largely honorary Hero’s party, and why she had studied magitech even after losing her voice. In every moment she gave her all to uphold that conviction. And the very first result born of conviction alone was this: the magitech magic staff that let even those without mana use magic.
Yet the work had one great flaw.
“A staff that consumes its internal mana through a magitech formula to manifest magic. Hearing only that, it certainly sounds impressive—but this work has one shortcoming.”
Namely:
“It can only manifest lower-tier magic that requires no chant.”
There was no component that could take the place of a chant. That was not because Rin’s research or development had been lacking.
“Computation can be replaced by a magitech formula, and the mana of a mana core by the mana stored within—but only a mage can perform a chant. Nothing in this world can substitute for a mage’s chant. That is simply the nature of the Arcane Path.”
A chant was something only a mage could perform. Refining the mana of the core within the heart through computation, then releasing it through a chant—that was the law of the Arcane Path, the essence of magic. And because a chant meant words that carried will, an object without will could never complete a true spell. Offen had seen through that fact with perfect clarity, and Rin felt a shame as if she had been stripped bare.
“If you understood so well that this staff is full of problems, why did you call it amazing? Were you just trying to mock me after all?”
Head bowed, she pressed the mana quill hard into the air as she wrote. The earlier resolve to counterattack the moment he mocked her had vanished without a trace. The moment Offen pointed out the staff’s flaw, her heart had already broken.
I have no rebuttal. It’s a shortcoming I already knew, a problem I ultimately failed to overcome.
The most wretched moment when having one’s creation judged is being told of a flaw one already knows yet could not fix. In all her life Rin had never met anyone superior to herself, so she had never suffered such criticism. She had never had to endure that wretchedness—until now.
...Damn it.
And it had come from the mouth of a man whose knowledge and ability far surpassed her own.
I hate this. I never wanted to know this feeling. I never wanted the experience of being evaluated by someone better than me.
The wretchedness born of her own inadequacy. That wretchedness delivered the final blow to a heart that had already been stretched to its limit ever since she lost her voice.
How did it come to this? Is it really right that I fall this far just because I can no longer chant? All I wanted was to use my talent the right way. Why have I become so wretched?
Rin had believed that because the magitech magic staff was a work she herself found lacking, she could endure being laughed at. She had been wrong. Never having been mocked or had her flaws precisely pointed out, she had not known how wretched it felt to have her weak points laid bare. She had taken criticism lightly—and that was how she had arrived here.
Ah, I really, truly hate this. I hate everything. This moment when I have to accept that without magic I am nothing—this situation. I hate it so, so much.
When her vocal cords had been torn out and she could no longer chant, Rin had risen from her hospital bed at once and returned to the Magic Tower. She had judged that doing what she still could was wiser than tending to herself. That had been the wrong choice. Because she had not tended to herself then, her insides had completely festered.
...Is there any meaning left in a life where I cannot use magic?
Now she stood on the very brink of rotting through completely.
I’ve been criticized like this by someone so much greater than me, and I can’t even use magic properly—do I have any reason to keep living? No. At the Round Table any opinion I offer will be rejected on grounds of efficiency, and every masterpiece I make will only be torn apart. If I keep living like this, the wretchedness will just keep piling up inside. Better to just end it here and—
Just as the despairing Rin was about to let go of her will to live—
“Mock you? I already told you, didn’t I? I found the magitech formula you created remarkable.”
Offen’s voice, tinged with disbelief, reached her.
“The magitech formula—a new technique combining magitech and magic formulas. This is not a technique for the strong. It is a technique solely for the weak.”
His voice held nothing but sincerity. Sincerity spoken aloud by another always seeps easily into the heart. Rin forgot the despair of a moment before and began to focus on his words.
“The shortcoming of the magitech magic staff is by no means small. You yourself feel regret over it, after all. But that does not make the work full of problems. Still less is it a failure. This piece possesses one enormous advantage that renders even that not-so-small flaw completely insignificant.”
“W-what advantage is that?”
“The creator’s intent.”
Offen carefully lifted the magitech magic staff with both hands. Then, stroking it with the utmost care, he continued.
“Even if it cannot cast mid-tier magic or higher—even if it can only use lower-tier spells—this staff can still use magic. Even someone like me, who cannot use magic at all.”
He pressed the button on the staff’s grip and lightly traced a circle with its tip.
Vmmm— Fwaaah!
The crystal sphere set at the end of the staff began to shine with a bright light. The lower-tier spell Light. The most basic and simplest of foundation magics. The first spell learned by those who discover they have the aptitude of a mage.
“Look. This is a work that lets even non-mages use magic. How remarkable is that? Magic is no longer the exclusive domain of mages—thanks to this staff you created!”
Ah...
Before she knew it Rin had lifted her bowed head and was staring blankly at Offen.
“This is a revolution. Originally, magic was a privilege granted only to a tiny handful of the talented. But with this staff, anyone can use magic. Just as you said earlier, Lady Rin—even the weak gain magic as a means of protection!”
“B-but... this staff can only cast lower-tier magic.”
“That is not even a minor flaw before this staff’s advantage—before the infinite potential it holds, Lady Rin!”
Under Offen’s impassioned speech, Rin’s mind went pure white. A sensation she was feeling for the first time in her life: the feeling of being affirmed and praised by someone greater than herself.
“Lady Rin, would it be all right if I spoke a little about the potential contained in this staff?”
An indescribable sense of fulfillment filled her chest. Cheeks flushed, Rin dazedly nodded.