Chapter 68
Chapter 68
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 68
Chapter Title: The Man Who Drinks Snacks Like Water (1)
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"Ah, I'm thirsty! So dry! Sierra!"
Enbi threw his arm around my shoulders like a street thug. He'd been like this nonstop ever since we fished him out of the sea. He started getting annoying as soon as we loaded him into the carriage from the harbor to the Duke's Castle, and once inside, he became a complete headache.
"You just drank some a little while ago. There's a carriage following us full of seawater. I'll give you some when we stop later. Just hold on a bit longer."
"Aah! I'm thiiiirsty!"
Enbi might look human on the outside, but deep down, he was a merman. The farther he got from the sea, the worse his thirst became. If I didn't let him drink seawater every ten minutes, he'd grumble and poke at me nonstop.
I figured he must really be parched, so I tried to take care of him...
"Sierra, got any water? If not water, blood'll do. How about giving me some of your blood?"
This guy might just be picking a fight for the hell of it.
"You know, blood and seawater kinda taste similar, right?"
This time, Enbi shoved his nose right up against my body and sniffed loudly. If there wasn't a bleeding wound, he looked ready to drill a hole and drink anyway.
"I'll give you water, but no blood. Enbi, get that fishy face away from me."
"Water, water! My body's drying out. My scales are gonna shrivel up like this. Sierra~ Sierra~!"
Still, a guest is a guest. I brought him here, so I had to take responsibility.
"Yeah, yeah. Fine, drink my water for now."
Enbi snatched my canteen and gulped it down, then tossed it away. The empty canteen sailed through the air and bonked Pippin right on the head with a thud. Enbi burst out laughing like his guts were splitting, while Pippin glared at him like he wanted to rip him apart on the spot.
"Ha..."
It wasn't just Enbi causing problems—Pippin was too. The guy had that sour look on his face ever since we sat Enbi down in the carriage.
Normally, he'd be chattering away solo about the magical beasts we'd hunted this time, but now he was just sitting there with his mouth clamped shut. How was I, his master, supposed to tiptoe around him?
I wanted to tell Pippin to cut the sourpuss act, but Enbi didn't give me the chance. He grabbed my collar, shook me, and dragged me to the window. This made the seventeenth time he'd shoved my face against the glass. The scenery looked the same to me, but not to Enbi.
"What is it this time..."
"Sierra! What's that?!"
Enbi shook me excitedly with a hyped-up voice.
"A tree, isn't it? It's all trees out there."
"Ooh! Is that seaweed too? It's seaweed, but why's it brown? Is it dying?"
"That's the trunk. Tree trunks are like that. That's how land is."
"Over there! What's that fish zipping by? How's that little fish climbing so high without water?"
"Uh, a squirrel. So cute..."
I was grinning at the window with Enbi when I heard a loud fake cough. I turned to Pippin, who was glaring at me too with his lips pursed like a kid throwing a tantrum.
"Master. Why bother dragging along a moron like that? Why not just dump him back in the sea?"
"Don't question what I do. And wipe that scowl off your face. I hate seeing that death glare."
"It's not fair..."
"What?"
Pippin narrowed his eyes and twitched his nose like a puppy.
"You never pay me any attention normally. But with him, you fetch water, explain the scenery... Why the special treatment?"
Enbi lunged at the sulking Pippin.
"Because I'm a special merman! Ahahaha!"
Enbi butted his head against Pippin like an orca play-fighting with another orca. Pippin's face grew even uglier.
"Special my ass. Still just a damn fish."
I kicked Pippin's shin as he grumbled. He yelped and curled up, clutching it. I patted Pippin's back, and Enbi plastered himself to the window. The cramped carriage was a madhouse.
"Pippin. You've been getting cocky. I said he's a guest."
I wasn't sure if calling someone I could kill on a whim a "guest" even made sense. Pippin must've thought the same, hence his grudge.
"Master!"
"Ooh! How's that fish flying through the sky? Is it a type of squirrel too?"
"Get lost!"
Pippin protested to me while pinned under Enbi.
"Are you seriously planning to keep a fish around, Master? I can at least slay magical beasts, but this guy's useless out of water! All he does is whine for drinks!"
"Forgot what I said on the ship?"
I lowered my voice in warning. Pippin shoved Enbi to the seat beside him and huffed.
"I didn't know it'd be like this back then!"
"Like what? I save magical beasts and illustrations too, don't I? Why are you suddenly throwing a fit?"
"You're being way too nice to him! It's not what I expected!"
"So what?"
"Special treatment's unfair, that's what I'm saying!"
His bold declaration left me speechless.
"If anyone's getting special treatment, it's you. What are you talking about?"
Not killing Pippin back in that village when he was framed was special treatment enough.
"I know exactly what you're thinking, Master."
"Oh? Do you now?"
At this point, I was curious what nonsense Pippin had cooked up. I crossed my legs and leaned back comfortably in my seat.
"Go on, spit out your delusions."
"You're sneaking him home like this, feeding him well, housing him nice, buttering him up... so you can use him as a guard knight, right?"
"What?"
"I noticed during the magical beast subjugation. You were eyeing him hard every time he fought! Planning to double up on guard knights?"
I'd never even considered it.
"Hehehe! Squirrels! So many squirrels! So forests are full of squirrels instead of fish!"
Even looking at Enbi now, the thought didn't cross my mind. Him as a guard knight? Just imagining it gave me a headache. Never mind if he could even use his powers on land—how do you tame an idiot like that?
"Pippin. Save the imagination for the magical beast bestiary. Don't waste your pea brain on useless crap."
It was so absurd I sighed without thinking. But Pippin stayed dead serious even after my words. Did he really believe I was making Enbi my second guard knight? If he was worried about fewer magical beasts for him, that was something.
I sighed again in disbelief when Lagia vibrated and cackled. At my request, Lagia was staying in the form of a small dagger instead of a scythe.
[Enbi as a guard knight? Ahahaha! That's hilarious! Sierra! How about taking my advice? A merman as your human guard knight—sounds too fun! Uhahaha!]
Hearing Lagia made Pippin's face even weirder. The guy really hated Enbi's guts. I had no idea why I had to explain every little thing, but I couldn't let it drag on, so I spoke to him as kindly as I could.
"I won't make Sir Enbi a guard knight. He's a guest, you're my guard knight—that's why the treatment's different. What've you been thinking about?"
"Hmph..."
Pippin crossed his arms like a pouty kid and sank into the sofa, then grumbled at me curtly.
"I did good in that magical beast subjugation, right?"
"You always do good. I'm satisfied with your skills."
"Praise me more."
"Uh... You did pretty well even with the flail."
"I want fish for dinner tonight. A ton. Heaps."
"Do whatever."
Pippin's face lit up for a second. Was the guy just cranky from hunger? He's not a dog...
Pippin's cheered-up face crashed again. Enbi had tackled him once more. Enbi squished Pippin flat and dragged him to the window, buzzing like he'd spotted new prey.
"That fish!"
"Pippin. Be more polite to the guest."
"This fish guest!"
Enbi grabbed Pippin's shoulders, shook him, and alternated looks between us.
"What's that? What's that huge seagull? Why's it shaped like that?"
I glanced out the window to see a massive black bird soaring with wings spread wide. Enbi thrashed like a monkey in excitement at the sight.
"That's... a bird. A bird."
First non-seagull bird he'd seen? It looked huge, whatever it was. Enbi wasn't satisfied with my half-assed answer.
"A bird? I know what birds are. What's that one, that one."
"Bird. It's a bird."
I figured it'd pass, but Pippin's reaction surprised me. Arms still crossed, he started working his pouty mouth in earnest.
"Not just any bird—it's an eagle owl. Judging by the size, a young one, and moving during the day means a predator must've shown up at its nest."
"Ooh!"
"Pippin, you're not just into magical beasts, huh?"
Enbi and I exclaimed at the same time. The long, boring carriage ride made even this chit-chat fun.
"Ahem."
Pippin puffed up a bit, straightened his shoulders, and adjusted his posture. Enbi clambered onto him like a quadruped.
"Then what's that fish? That one?"
"That's a blue squirrel, and the one that just passed was a raccoon dog."
"Ooooh! Then that? That one!"
Emboldened, Pippin fielded Enbi's barrage of questions steadily. At first, he looked pitying like "what's with all the questions," but soon he got into it too, peering out the window, pointing stuff out, and having a blast.
"Simpletons."
[Sierra, Sierra—he appreciates you for this.]
While Enbi and Pippin were distracted, Lagia whispered to me.
[First time seeing Enbi this happy since we found him. Usually he picks fights right away with new merfolk or fish. Didn't know he had this innocent side.]
"Yeah? Then let him enjoy. We've got a long ride ahead."
I leaned against the window at an angle and checked his affection level.
[♥♥♥]
Still three. No progress.
Even with him this excited, my affection level wasn't budging.
No—getting it to three with just flattery and praise was a miracle.
Sure, expecting max affection from someone I'd just met might be greedy. But caring about his affection wasn't just about wanting him to like me more.
'Need to milk him quick.'
Shady thoughts, sure.
In the game, capture target male leads gift good items once affection maxes. For Enbi, five hearts got you Lagia and the Elsenote Flute. Lagia you could get right away once affection rose, and for some reason, it was already mine.
'The problem now is the Elsenote Flute.'
The Elsenote Flute required max affection plus the final event.
Final event meant the confession scene...
'Three confession events total: Happy Ending, Normal Ending, Bad Ending. All three gave the item.'
So, trigger any event, and you're good. My goal wasn't Enbi's heart—it was the item.
'Raise affection, trigger event. Meet those conditions, item secured!'
I couldn't recreate game events perfectly since I wasn't the heroine. But I could fake it close enough. I knew all of Enbi's events. As a player who'd mastered every ending, I had his insides all figured out.
'Items are better sooner. So first, max that affection...'
Affection and events went hand in hand! Trigger one fast, and affection would skyrocket, right?
'Brace yourself, Enbi. Gonna make you blissed out of your mind from now on.'