Please, Look at Me
That night, Kang Seoyeon couldn't sleep a wink.
She had no idea how many times she rolled over. She hugged her pillow, then shoved it away, repeating the same restless, pointless motions.
Every time she shifted, the sensations from the ring came flooding back.
The moments she had clung to that man, wailing. The thick, sticky kiss she had stolen without even realizing it.
...I must have been crazy.
Kang Seoyeon covered her face with her arm. As if that would erase any of it. Instead, in the darkness, the sensation only grew sharper.
But what tormented her even more was something else entirely.
...Arin.
Guilt.
Yoon Arin's face kept floating before her eyes.
That kind face, smiling as she handed over a coffee.
──Just trust me.
She had promised with her own mouth—and then she had gone and broken that promise.
She had betrayed the most precious childhood friend she had in the world, right behind her back.
...What do I do. What do I do...
That thought circled through her head all night long.
She had to apologize. Even if she had to drop to her knees and beg.
But with what face? With what words?
No matter how hard she racked her brain, no answer came. As she tossed and turned, before she knew it the world outside the window had grown bright.
The next day, Kang Seoyeon dragged her exhausted body out of the house.
It wasn't as if she had anywhere particular to go.
But once she came to her senses, her feet were already carrying her toward the arena on their own.
It was the place she walked into every single day; her body had simply moved first. Or maybe—just maybe—some part of her had been hoping, without realizing it, to run into that man. Or into Yoon Arin.
It was lunchtime.
Kang Seoyeon drifted into the cafeteria in a daze. Tray in hand, she was scanning for a seat when—
...Arin.
At a table in the corner sat Yoon Arin.
Kang Seoyeon's heart plummeted.
How was she supposed to look that face in the eye?
What was she even supposed to say first?
Her mind went completely blank. But her body was already moving in that direction.
It had always been that way since they were kids. When mealtime came, sitting down across from Yoon Arin was just what you did.
Kang Seoyeon set her tray down in front of her as if nothing were wrong.
"...Hey. Eating lunch, huh."
She forced the words out in her usual tone.
But—
"..."
Yoon Arin didn't answer.
She simply kept eating in silence. She didn't so much as glance in Kang Seoyeon's direction.
Then, quietly, she picked up her tray and started to stand.
...!
Kang Seoyeon's breath caught in her throat.
She was avoiding her. Yoon Arin was avoiding her.
The childhood friend she had spent her entire life stuck to couldn't even stand to look at her face right now.
That fact stabbed deeper into her chest than yesterday's guilt ever had.
...She knows.
She felt it instinctively.
Yoon Arin already knew.
What had happened in the ring yesterday. And this silence right now was her wordless answer: I don't have the face to look at you.
The moment she saw Yoon Arin about to leave, Kang Seoyeon—without a second to think—grabbed her wrist.
"...Arin."
"...Let go."
Yoon Arin's voice was cold as ice.
She didn't even turn to look at Kang Seoyeon.
That chill made Kang Seoyeon's heart lurch. Even so, she couldn't let go. If she released this hand now, she felt like everything would truly be over.
"...I'm sorry."
The words barely managed to slip out of Kang Seoyeon's mouth.
"Yesterday... that. That was my fault. I'm really... really sorry."
Her voice trembled.
Her eyes burned.
The mask she had been forcing herself to wear—the one that pretended everything was fine—crumbled to pieces with that single sentence.
"I won't make excuses. It's all on me. I... I completely lost it."
Kang Seoyeon tightened her grip on the hand she was holding.
"...I don't want things between us to end like this. Please... just look at me. Arin."
Yoon Arin stopped walking. Still, she didn't turn around.
Only the wrist caught in Kang Seoyeon's grasp trembled, faintly.
Kang Seoyeon clung desperately to that back.
Not as the undefeated queen, not as one of the strongest fighters in this world—just as a person terrified of losing her precious friend.
...Please.
Her throat closed up.
Please, just look at me. Arin. ...If I lose you too, I really...
She couldn't bring herself to finish the rest.
I stopped by the sparring gym.
I'd only come to loosen up a little, but a familiar head of red hair caught my eye in the corner.
Kang Seoyeon. She was sitting alone against the wall, fiddling with a water bottle. She didn't look like she'd come to train. More like she was just spacing out, completely empty-headed.
...After what happened yesterday, yeah.
Honestly, it felt a little awkward. After everything we'd done—and everything that had been done—in the ring yesterday.
Still, I couldn't just pretend I hadn't seen her, so I walked over.
"...So this is where you were. What's up?"
When I approached, Kang Seoyeon flinched and lifted her head. The second our eyes met—her face turned noticeably red.
"...Uh, yeah. Just, uh, resting a bit."
Kang Seoyeon awkwardly looked away.
Even her voice wasn't that usual tough tone of hers.
It had shrunk down to something almost mosquito-small.
...Yeah, she's definitely hyper-aware of this.
I scratched the back of my head for no good reason. Not that I was in any position to talk.
Looking at that face kept dragging yesterday's moments back up. Before I knew it my gaze kept sliding off somewhere else.
"...Hey, Kang Hyunwoo."
"Yeah."
"Yesterday... that was... I mean, I was out of my mind, so..."
"Ah, yeah. I know. I was... well, mid-match. We were both worked up. That was all it was."
"...Yeah. That was all. Just, an accident. That kind of thing."
We couldn't even look each other properly in the eye, staring at the floor and the wall in turns instead.
Two full-grown adults, faces flushed red, mumbling like a pair of middle-schoolers.
Even I thought it was pretty ridiculous.
But then Kang Seoyeon's expression darkened again.
"...Hey, Kang Hyunwoo. Can I ask you one thing?"
"Sure."
"...Arin. Is she... really pissed?"
Kang Seoyeon asked carefully. There was a weight in her voice that had nothing to do with awkwardness. Worry, thick and heavy.
I tilted my head a little.
"...Yeah, she was mad. But why are you this worried about it?"
Honestly, it caught me a little off guard. Yesterday had been a mutual, regrettable accident—but from Kang Seoyeon's side, whether her friend was angry or not didn't seem like something she needed to agonize over this hard.
But the look on Kang Seoyeon's face wasn't simple regret. It was something much deeper, much more tormented.
"...Actually."
Kang Seoyeon hesitated for a moment. Her lips moved soundlessly before she finally managed to spit it out.
"Me and Arin... we're childhood friends."
"...Childhood friends?"
"Yeah. Grew up in the same gym since we were little. We're sick-of-each-other rivals, sure... but still, the oldest friend I've got in the world."
At those words, I blanked out for a second. Then—suddenly—one piece clicked perfectly into place.
...So that's why.
A few days ago, when I'd picked Kang Seoyeon off the challenger list, Yoon Arin had acted especially weird.
That expression when she'd trailed off with 'Of all people, Kang Seoyeon...'
The way she'd brushed it off with a vague 'Yeah, kinda' when I asked if they knew each other.
Back then I hadn't known the story, so I'd just let it go...
...But now the puzzle finally fit.
To Yoon Arin, Kang Seoyeon hadn't just been some fighter she knew. She was the closest friend she'd spent her whole life with.
...No wonder it hit that hard.
Once the thought reached that far, I understood why Yoon Arin had fallen apart so completely yesterday.
If it had been a stranger, it might have ended at simple jealousy.
But of all people, it had been the childhood friend she'd trusted more than anyone. How deep must that sense of betrayal have cut.
"...That's why it's killing me even more."
Kang Seoyeon smiled bitterly.
"Even if it'd been some random person, I'd still feel like shit. But of all people... to Arin. I went and did that to her. I... honestly, how am I supposed to look her in the face."
Kang Seoyeon hung her head again. Guilt had drained the color from her face until she was paper-white.
"...You'll just have to work through it slowly. Arin will come around with time, too..."
"...Hey, Kang Hyunwoo."
Kang Seoyeon called my name carefully.
"Could you... maybe give me your number?"
"My number?"
"Yeah. With the Arin situation, I can't figure out a single answer on my own. I want to... talk it over with you while we work through it. How I should apologize, when the right timing is... that kind of stuff."
Well, she had a point.
If Kang Seoyeon and I weren't on the same page about untangling this three-way mess, things would get ugly. Without thinking too hard about it, I rattled off my number.
"Yeah. Zero-one-zero..."
Kang Seoyeon hurriedly saved the number into her phone. Then she nodded, looking a little relieved.
"...Thanks. If I think of anything, I'll hit you up."
Right as Kang Seoyeon and I were exchanging numbers—
"Hyunwoo! There you are!"
A familiar voice called from a distance.
Yoon Arin. She was looking around the entrance of the sparring gym, apparently searching for me.
She still hadn't spotted us over here.
"...!"
"...!"
Kang Seoyeon and I flinched at the exact same time. Then, without needing to discuss it, we scrambled apart.
If Yoon Arin caught this picture right now, it would be a disaster.
Showing her the two of us alone together—when she was already this insecure after yesterday—was enough to make my stomach drop just imagining it.
"I-I'm gonna go first!"
Kang Seoyeon snatched up her water bottle in a hurry.
"Yeah. Get going."
"...Hey. With Arin... please take care of her a little."
Leaving those words behind, Kang Seoyeon rushed out through the opposite exit.
Only after I confirmed that flash of red hair had vanished did I finally let out a breath.
...Seriously, what the hell are we even doing.
It wasn't like we'd committed a crime, but my heart was hammering like I'd just gotten caught stealing.
But what could I do. The situation was exactly the kind that invited that misunderstanding.
"Hyunwoo, here you are!"
Right then, Yoon Arin spotted me and trotted over.
Thankfully, it looked like she hadn't seen Kang Seoyeon leave.
"What are you doing all alone? Did you eat yet?"
Looking at that bright, smiling face—I felt a guilty twinge for no reason at all.
"...Yeah. Just, uh, loosening up a bit."