Fifth Round: Boy and Girl

"Stop pacing outside the door and just come in already."

As I picked up the wine glass I'd set down on the table during Scarlett Chernel's visit, I gazed at the door she'd closed behind her with such limp resignation.

The doorknob turned, letting in the chill evening air, and Yuria Crescent cautiously stepped into my room.

Perhaps because all lectures had ended for the day, she was wearing her white saintess robes instead of her academy uniform.

Before fully entering, she seemed to chase the lingering afterimage of Scarlett staggering out, then quickly fixed her gaze on me.

"…What on earth are you doing, Your Highness?"

After a brief silence, she asked me that. Then she stepped even closer than the spot where Scarlett had just knelt moments ago.

"You've already crushed Lady Chernel's pride in front of the northern and southern nobles, and now you make her kneel and beg to be your disciple, only to refuse her unless she grovels like a dog on her back… Are you trying to make enemies of the entire south?"

She bit her lip and clutched the hem of her saintess robes.

"Or…"

"Or what? You wish I'd made both the Chernel siblings kneel and humiliated them as revenge for you?"

"W-What are you…!"

Yuria's face flushed red as a ripe fruit in an instant. Her sky-blue eyes darted about in embarrassment and confusion, her voice trembling as she continued.

"Th-That can't be! You've been talking so crudely like that lately…!"

She seemed even ashamed of her own burning cheeks, covering them with both hands.

"I'm just… scared because you seem like a completely different person. You, who used to value me only for my usefulness, are now standing against even a ducal house in the south for my sake… I don't even know if you're the Kardel Harteon I knew anymore…!"

Her emotions grew more intense with every word. She placed both hands on the table, leaning forward to meet my eyes, as if trying to read my true intentions in them.

"Tell me, Kardel Harteon. Why are you confusing me like this…? With that sudden kindness that feels like it'll vanish in an instant…! Why, why… are you turning me back into a foolish girl…?"

Her voice was wet with tears, on the verge of breaking.

I stood from my chair and took a step toward Yuria. She flinched, trying to pull back, but I seized her waist and pulled her into my arms.

"……!"

Yuria's body stiffened with tension. I whispered coolly yet tenderly into her ear.

"Yeah. Maybe I've become a completely different person from the one you knew."

"Y-Your Highness…! Let me go…!"

Yuria struggled to escape my embrace, her face flushing red again, but the more she did, the tighter I held her waist.

"But is that what matters right now? The man in front of you saved you. …And you want that too."

"I, I don't want… Th-That's not…"

She shook her head as if denying it, but her eyes trembled with the shock of her feelings being exposed, a mix of misery and relief. Powerlessly, she clutched the hem of my shirt.

"I can hear your heart pounding so loudly."

The hand gripping my shirt tightened, and in her shame, she buried her burning face deeper into my chest, unable to ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠lift her head.

"…You're the worst."

Once her face had cooled somewhat, Yuria seemed too embarrassed to stay any longer. She pushed against my chest and slipped out of my arms.

Her face was still flushed with tear-streaked crimson as she staggered toward the door and fled.

After Yuria left like she was running away, only the cool, sweet fragrance she'd left behind lingered in the room.

The moment I returned to my room, I pulled the blanket over my head to hide my burning face and lay down.

In the silent room, only the sound of my heart thundering like it might burst filled the air. I could still feel the firm grip of his arms around me and the warmth of his embrace, making my body tremble now and then.

With a shaking hand, I clutched my left breast where my heart was pounding fiercely.

It throbbed like yesterday, but this time it was from an ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠overwhelming excitement utterly different from before.

'I have to admit it now. The Kardel Harteon before me isn't the man I knew.'

Was this Kardel the variable of this regression? Unlike in previous lives, he didn't see me as a tool—he protected me.

But that very fact filled me with fear. What if his warmth was just a mirage that would vanish?

What if in the next life, he'd be gone, and I'd face that cold, cruel gaze once more…?

The thought made my heart ache, and I gripped my chest even harder.

In that moment when he pulled me into his arms, I realized it. All the hatred and vengeful thoughts I'd harbored toward Kardel melted away helplessly in his embrace.

'Pathetically… all I needed was his warmth.'

No matter how much he'd used and discarded me, betraying me—if he'd just held me like this even once, I never could have hated him.

I was a foolish woman who forgave everything at the slightest warmth from him.

Maybe right now, I was dreaming a sweet illusion that would soon fade.

But that's why I wanted to postpone any hatred or revenge until the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠next life.

If it was a dream that would shatter upon waking, at least in the dream, I wanted to be happy.

'In this regression… I want to keep being held in his arms.'

With that thought, I inhaled the scent of him lingering on my clothes under the blanket, prayed to dream of him again, and closed my eyes.

I was back there again. In the snowy field of that bitter winter when I'd lost my way as a child.

I knew in my mind it was a dream, but the snow falling on my face and the bone-chilling northern cold felt so real that my body huddled instinctively.

Too weak to even stand, I collapsed into the cold snow and murmured desperately into the blizzard.

"Please… help me…."

Then, just like that day in the past.

The black-haired boy appeared through the snow, draped a fur cloak over me, and warmed my frozen hands with his own warm ones.

The boy I'd longed for across five lives. I burrowed into his arms and sobbed like the girl I'd been back then.

But strangely, the arms around me felt stronger and firmer, and the chest I pressed into seemed to grow broader.

Puzzled, I looked up—and my breath caught.

The boy holding me had become the current him, the 20-year-old Kardel Harteon, gazing down at me.

As he pulled me deeper into his embrace, the flaying northern cold vanished like a lie.

The snow around us melted away, revealing the northern spring—green grass and blooming flowers.

Clutching his clothes, I wailed and hurled a question laced with resentment.

"Why… why did you only come to me now? How long I waited for you… how scared I was…."

Instead of answering, he stroked my hair gently, as if handling something precious.

His tenderness melted the heart that had been frozen for ages.

In the dream, I realized it.

That across five lives, I'd finally met the boy I'd loved.

That after wandering the endless winter and collapsing, he'd finally found me.

The academy corridor bathed in morning sunlight felt as peaceful as ever, making last night's events seem like a dream.

I tried to act normal on the way to class, but the burning heat in my cheeks wouldn't fade, so I kept trying to cool them with my hands.

From the moment he'd held me, my mind replayed only the warmth and scent of him enveloping me.

To the point where, if I ran into him, I'd want to leap back into his arms.

'…I'm ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠crazy, Yuria Crescent. Completely insane.'

I even had the mad thought that if I asked, he'd do it again despite pulling me in so suddenly yesterday. I shook my head and lightly slapped my cheeks.

And right then.

Kardel appeared around the corridor corner.

"Good morning, Yuria. After running off like that yesterday, did you sleep well?"

My heart dropped, and I wanted to crawl into a mouse hole.

Last night's him was gone; he looked as impeccable as ever—perfect attire, indifferent eyes, serene face—gazing down at me.

As if nothing had happened, as if it had only been in my dream.

But his next action made even my ears burn red.

"Your face is even redder than yesterday. Do you have a fever?"

He casually reached to touch my forehead again.

"Y-Your Highness…! People will see…! I'm fine, so stop…!"

Startled, I hurriedly stepped back.

'Since when did this man get so bold about touching me…!'

Thinking back, it started from the entrance ceremony—stroking my hair, grabbing my wrist. Sure enough, he withdrew his hand with shameless ease, smiling leisurely.

"This much isn't a big deal, is it?"

His attitude that such skinship was nothing, his nonchalance—it drove me even madder.

'How is only that man so unfazed…? Was holding me no big deal? I've spent all morning wanting to be in his arms again…!'

Feeling unfairly wronged and humiliated, I bit my lip. Oblivious to my turmoil, he walked beside me with his usual expressionless politeness.

Right—revenge wasn't about anything else. I wanted to crack that impassive face with embarrassment.

Taking a shortcut through an empty building corridor, I confirmed with mana that no one was around.

"Your Highness, yesterday… that wasn't a big deal to you?"

I stopped and blocked his path. Before he could answer, I burrowed into his chest, pressing my face against it.

His scent and warmth I'd craved since yesterday enveloped me, lifting my mood. I rubbed my cheek against his chest.

Feeling his body stiffen in surprise, I looked up at him with a small triumphant smile.

"I really liked it."