Chapter 188
Chapter 188
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 187
Chapter Title: The Answer
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“Yawn.”
Late into the dawn.
Scratching his belly as he woke, Hansen felt a dull ache in his lower abdomen and cracked open his heavy eyelids.
His bladder felt like it was about to burst, but getting up was too much of a hassle.
He considered just holding it and going back to sleep, but remembering the time he’d done that before and soaked the bed, he let out a sigh and dragged himself up.
“Ow.”
His head throbbed like it had been pounded with a hammer. Thanks to a lucky streak at cards yesterday that netted him a good haul, he’d splurged on expensive liquor at the tavern, women on both sides, and now he was paying the price.
He’d heard fancy booze didn’t leave hangovers.
Maybe the bottle or the contents had been switched out?
Paranoid as ever, Hansen mulled over such thoughts as he shuffled into the bathroom.
A short while later.
Having emptied his bladder with relief, Hansen scratched at his bird’s nest of hair and stepped out of the bathroom.
The dark interior of the house wasn’t fully visible, but he’d been here countless times and it wasn’t big enough to get lost in.
As he headed back to his room, Hansen glanced at the door directly across from his and furrowed his brow in confusion.
His girlfriend’s room.
Originally meant for the child they’d have someday.
But now, they barely spoke, had been sleeping separately for quite some time.
They managed their money separately, hardly saw each other’s faces.
It wasn’t lingering affection keeping them from breaking up.
They just had nowhere else to go if they left this place.
Their relationship had long grown stale; it was just an inconvenient cohabitation out of necessity.
At least they hadn’t had a kid. Small mercies.
“Hm?”
The room of what could now be called his ex.
Hansen frowned at the open door.
Had it been open when he went to the bathroom?
Normally, he’d brush it off as the hangover, but the question lingered.
He slowly reached out, peeking his head into the room.
No particular reason.
Just wondering if maybe a thief had broken in or something.
“Guh, ack! Kkhurk!”
A voice like choking on air—his girlfriend’s, at that. And right then, his eyes adjusted to the dark.
The silhouette of her lying there.
And atop her belly, something writhing, spewing forth.
At first, he thought it was a tree root, but gradually, it took on a human shape.
Crack.
It whipped its head around, red eyes glowing fiercely, and lunged at Hansen.
* * *
It felt like quite a long time had passed, but in truth, winter break at Robern Academy hadn’t even ended yet.
Classes started in March with the spring, so after ringing in the new year in Northsweden, it was now mid-January.
I’d returned to Robern a step ahead.
Elenoa had gone back first to attend year-end balls in the capital, Graypond, while Aria had returned home to spend the holiday with her parents.
I’d left Iluania and Sevia in Northsweden, figuring it suited them better than Robern.
In the end, my group was me, Pindenai, Owen, and Erica.
Erica, who hadn’t bothered returning to the Bright family’s territory of Violen and had come back to Robern with me instead, was now in my lab.
Even during lecture-free break, the pink-haired professor Per Petra—who’d holed up in her own lab over the holidays—stood cautiously to my right.
“How is it?”
I slowly moved the right hand she’d fitted me with. It responded to mana so naturally, it truly felt like my real hand. Mystical.
Not just moving as I willed, but with full sensation—the cool air of the lab tingled through it.
A moment that drove home just how remarkable Professor Per Petra was.
“Impressive. It feels hardly different from my real hand.”
Compared to my left, it was a bit less lively in sensation, but only faintly so.
Worlds apart from slapping a mannequin hand on.
“Sensation comes with pain, so I dialed it down to prevent accidents.”
“…….”
“You do tend to get into rough situations, Professor Deus.”
“So if we max out the sensitivity, it’d feel just like the real thing?”
Erica, who’d been listening quietly from the side, tilted her head curiously. Professor Per scratched her bushy ponytail with a sheepish hehe.
“Perfection’s impossible, but I’m working to get it as close as possible.”
Her voice softened, tone rising when talking to Erica—unlike with me.
Probably because Erica was the one who’d brought her to Robern Academy; she’d carved out a spot as a close friend in Per’s heart.
Leaving the two to chat about the prosthetic, I examined my right hand.
Twisting it this way and that, prodding with my left fingers, pressing the nails in.
Alien, yet the sensations were unmistakably there.
I knew Professor Per dreamed of perfect prosthetics and kept researching.
But if this kept up…
“…….”
I slowly turned my head.
Invisible to Erica and Per, but the Black Necromancer and Stella staring fixedly at my right hand from either side caught my eye.
[How fascinating.]
[If I’d met her while alive, she could’ve helped me greatly.]
“If.”
The words slipped out toward them unbidden. But I quickly realized it was too hasty and clamped my mouth shut.
The Black Necromancer and Stella tilted their heads, sensing something off, and looked my way.
[What?]
[Is there a problem?]
“……No, nothing.”
I shook my head, and they passed it off with puzzled looks, for now.
After roughly adjusting the hand and hearing Per’s care instructions, Professor Per hesitantly made an unexpected request.
“Um, could I ask one favor?”
“Of course.”
She’d fitted me with a prosthetic right hand for free—what couldn’t I do?
But Professor Per’s request was a bit out of left field.
* * *
“Ahem, ahem.”
Erica cleared her throat awkwardly.
She’d stepped out to change, and instead of her usual lecture suit, she wore a white blouse and a black skirt down to her ankles.
The blouse’s corset cinched tight, revealing her hidden figure plainly.
“Just a quick dessert run.”
“Yeah, got it.”
She sidled up close, keeping arm’s-reach distance.
Professor Per had asked us to fetch dessert from town—testing the prosthetic and grabbing some for herself.
Erica had brought it to the lab a few times before, and Per had liked it enough to remember.
Only Erica knew the shop, so naturally, we were going together.
“By any chance, is the Black Necromancer or Saintess Stella nearby?”
I shook my head at her cautious question.
“The Black Necromancer’s showing Stella around the academy.”
Stella was new to Robern Academy, so the Black Necromancer was giving her a tour, shoulders shrugged all smug-like.
I’d thought it silly, but Stella found it cute and insisted with a smile, so I let it be.
“And Pindenai?”
She was asking like she was ticking off a checklist, but I answered anyway.
“Cleaning the room.”
“She does that too?”
A maid’s job, of course. Though she griped about why it had to be her.
With Iluania gone, she’d probably roped Owen into helping.
The air around us was crisp.
Wondering if a blouse was too light for the chill, I glanced at Erica—only to spot the golden butterfly perched on her shoulder.
When had it settled there? But a fluffy, warm aura emanated gently from it.
“A spirit.”
“Yeah. Like you said, we get along great.”
In the game, Erica picked up spirit magic late-game and became a solid ally.
Knowing that, I’d tipped her off early.
“…….”
“…….”
Minutes passed walking in silence.
Not awkward, per se, but her expression was hidden by her hair, so I couldn’t read her thoughts.
Our hands just brushed past each other, maintaining that careful distance.
“By the way, lecturing got me wondering.”
As a professor holding classes, a few questions for her had come up.
No time to dwell on trivia lately, but with some breathing room, they surfaced naturally.
Erica hesitated, then replied without looking my way.
“Can it wait?”
“Nothing major. We’ve got time—should be fine.”
Plenty of time to kill, after all.
Didn’t know how far the dessert shop was, but efficiency mattered.
“……I don’t like mixing work with dates.”
My steps halted abruptly. A few paces ahead, Erica’s did too.
I hadn’t framed it that way at all and nearly said so.
But seeing her force down her blush, hiding her embarrassment, I couldn’t speak.
“No consideration on my part.”
I didn’t know these nuances well, so my honest apology drew a wry smile from her still-flushed face.
“I know your heart’s with someone else.”
“…….”
“But you’re not certain about it yet, right?”
Like testing a stone bridge over a stream.
I needed to firmly define the emotions stirring inside me.
Because.
The feelings for Pindenai.
For Erica.
For Stella.
They were all different.
Bound to be confusing, even if they shared vague similarities—no certainty on what was love.
Using Dayus Verdi’s love for Iluania as a benchmark, I was slowly gauging my own.
“Right now, I can’t judge enough to choose one person.”
“…….”
“And to prepare for the future ahead, even if I find an answer, I’ve no plans for anything beyond friendship for the next four years.”
“Four years…….”
Erica murmured, chewing my words. A year down; first-years now second-years.
To avert the continent’s doom, personal feelings had to wait.
“Think it pathetic—I won’t make excuses. If you want to annul the engagement, I’ll send the papers immediately.”
At the last festival, Erica had returned the annulment papers to me.
“I’m lacking, so I need certainty in my emotions.”
“And if I said I don’t like this you—would you really let me go?”
Erica reached out slowly, tugging my lapel. Normally I’d miss it, but somehow I grasped the meaning in the gesture.
Resentment.
So that was it.
“Being with Pindenai brought joy—I think it might be love.”
“…….”
“That’s why I planned distance from others. Didn’t want to lead anyone on and hurt them.”
A somewhat vague answer from me.
“But.”
“…….”
“This warm time with you now—I think it might be love too.”
“……!”
“Sorry.”
Knowing it could hurt, I had to apologize.
But it wasn’t a lie.
Dayus’s feelings for Iluania encompassed what I felt for Pindenai, for Erica.
“If it hurts, feel free to leave me anytime.”
“And if.”
One step.
Erica closed in with a thud.
Her hand still gripped my lapel tight.
“After I leave, you realize it was love?”
Suppose.
I realized I loved Erica, but.
She’d moved on, forgotten me, found another.
After a moment’s thought, I met her gaze steadily.
“Heard in a book that unrequited love’s like a sparrow.”
“Sparrow? Random.”
“You spot it suddenly on the road, but can’t catch it.”
“…….”
“Probably regret not seizing it when you suddenly think of her.”
Not hard to imagine.
If Erica drifted away, that future felt all too real.
“Gazing at the sky, hoping she flies beautifully.”
“…….”
“No matter your choice, I’ll wish you happiness.”
Honest words.
The only promise I could make now.
That I’d spread my hands and let her fly free anytime.
Erica stepped closer again.
Now pressed tight, she took a deep breath and glared coldly.
“Can I hit you once?”
“Feel free.”
Deserved it, so I closed my eyes slowly.
Whoosh!
My nape seized, Erica yanking me hard.
Crunch.
Soft sensation at my nape, paired with sharp teeth.
For some reason, I realized she’d kissed and marked me there.
“Does it hurt?”
“Stings a bit.”
“But it left a scar.”
True enough.
Touching my nape, it was swollen, raised.
“Who knows the outcome. You realize your feelings, go to someone else.”
Couldn’t deny it.
Imagining that, her eyes welled with tears, yet she kept smiling.
Her hands seized my jacket. No escape.
“That scar will sting inside me, but it’s proof I loved you.”
“…….”
“Deus, if someone has to hurt, even a little.”
Erica pressed her forehead to my chest, whispering softly.
“It’ll be me.”
“Erica.”
“So find your answer. Don’t hesitate, don’t fear hurting.”
A sniffle laced her voice, but no tears.
Couldn’t see her face, but I felt the resolve overcoming her plea.
“No matter the answer, you’ll be happy.”