Chapter 154
Chapter 154
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 153
Chapter Title: What I Desire More Than Freedom
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“But this time, it’s a little different. Hmm, I wanted it to be a bit special.”
“…….”
“Our last time together, at least.”
I wasn’t clueless about the meaning or weight behind Pindenai’s words. I’d known her condition had been off ever since she announced she was heading back to the Clock Republic.
“…….”
My lack of shock stemmed partly from having anticipated she might make this choice.
“You’re not all that surprised.”
She took a sip of her drink and flashed a wry smile—not her usual playful grin, but one laced with a hint of bitterness.
“I have half of your soul.”
“Yeah, I know.”
The terms of our contract.
I could kill her whenever I wanted. But Pindenai just shrugged.
“But I’ve got the other half.”
“…….”
“That’s enough for me.”
A being with half its soul destroyed.
Truth be told, I’d never seen someone like that, so I didn’t know exactly what would happen, but one thing was clear: they wouldn’t live long.
A terminal case, you could say.
Yet Pindenai responded matter-of-factly.
“I’ll just wrap everything up before I kick the bucket.”
Her resolve was that firm.
To the point where I felt like I shouldn’t interfere recklessly.
Even so, my tongue kept spilling words.
“You still won’t tell me why?”
If she’d just explain the reason—if she’d tell me why she was being so forceful—I could understand.
But the smile lingering on Pindenai’s lips didn’t fade.
“Sorry.”
It was a genuine apology.
Not her usual casual toss-away, but a heartfelt plea for forgiveness, admitting she had no choice but to choose this path.
Before I knew it, I’d brought my glass to my lips.
The dean’s fine liquor was worthy of being called a fine vintage. The sweet liquid enveloped my tongue with layers of delicate flavors.
Yet strangely, all I tasted was bitterness.
“No other words besides an apology?”
“Hmm, what should I say?”
She swirled her glass, staring blankly at the liquid sloshing inside. Her gesture made it feel like she was avoiding my gaze.
It wasn’t like her.
Not like Pindenai at all.
“Well, dragging out the conversation too long would just make the farewell harder, right?”
“What if I said I won’t let you go?”
“Well, that’s not exactly unexpected.”
She nodded toward the axe propped against her chair as her answer.
She’d break through me by force and flee if she had to.
Did she know that unyielding attitude was crushing my chest?
Yeah, honestly, I was surprised.
I hadn’t expected to feel this way about Pindenai leaving.
A quiet sorrow, beyond mere regret, had taken root inside me.
From the black necromancer’s recent absences to the endless fraying of bonds I’d taken for granted—it felt like they were slowly unraveling.
“Well, if you’re gonna call out Revenge, go ahead. Back in the mountains, the Mountain Lord did most of the work anyway.”
“That was then. This is now.”
Pindenai let out a chuckle at my words.
“True. Honestly, against you now, even I’d have a tough time winning.”
She added, as if to emphasize:
“From here on, I plan to give my master a run for his money.”
“…….”
What was she talking about? But Pindenai abruptly stood, grabbed the teapot from the corner of my room, and fetched the canister of tea leaves.
“It’s not harmful. It’ll actually let you sleep soundly—you, who’s been skimping on rest lately. It’s a sleeping draught.”
She set aside her glass and started brewing tea. The haphazard shift was very Pindenai-like, but hardly a welcome situation.
“You want me to drink that?”
“Yeah, drink up and sleep tight. I’ll slip away while you’re out.”
Silence hung in the air for a moment.
As the water bubbled to a boil, she crushed the leaves and dropped them in.
The calm trickle of pouring water.
At the end of that serene sound—hard to imagine coming from Pindenai—she offered me the cup.
It looked just like something a regular maid might serve. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed she’d brewed it.
But drinking it was another matter.
“You’re that desperate to escape?”
Was Pindenai so eager to break free from my hold that she’d go this far? The question lingered.
She shook her head bitterly.
“No, that’s not what I mean.”
“…….”
“You’d stop me no matter what.”
“Yeah.”
I couldn’t just watch her walk away. This trip to the Clock Republic would be far riskier than the last.
“And to escape you, I’d use every trick in the book. You’re strong, sure, but you’re weak at chasing down a fleeing opponent.”
She was right.
I excelled in head-on clashes, but pursuits and maneuvers? Not my forte.
Our fight in Claren, the artists’ city, against Dante’s monster surgeon Dina was a prime example.
I couldn’t even catch her properly as she ran.
“I can definitely get away. I’m confident. But I won’t make it out unscathed, and I won’t hold back against you either. You’re that strong.”
Pindenai’s gaze settled calmly on her teacup as she sat back down. Now I understood.
The meaning of this tea.
It wasn’t a threat, a negotiation, or some silly ploy.
This was…
“Keep me from swinging my axe at you.”
A plea.
Pindenai’s desperate wish not to turn her weapon on me.
Even as our wills clashed, she was saying she didn’t want to fight.
“Me.”
It was absurd.
I’d never imagined a day like this would come.
“Being persuaded by you.”
I took the cup and carefully brought it to my lips. The warm tea slid smoothly down my throat.
It chased away the alcohol’s haze, but fatigue rushed in immediately. Not an artificial weariness that soured my mood.
Rather, the tea’s warmth coaxed out the exhaustion I’d been pushing aside.
After finishing, I slowly handed the empty cup back to Pindenai. She accepted it with the deference of a true maid.
“Thank you.”
“This wasn’t done to earn your thanks.”
“Getting sleepy already? Any last words?”
The mood lightened a touch at last, her response hinting at the usual Pindenai. I couldn’t help but chuckle as I replied.
“Quite.”
“Hm?”
“Your skills have improved.”
Her tea-brewing, once like pig piss, had advanced leaps and bounds. She must’ve practiced in secret.
No one else for her to brew for—just to earn my approval.
“Ha.”
Pindenai slowly swept her bangs back with her hand. Was emotion welling up?
I tried to play it off, closing my eyes and surrendering to the encroaching drowsiness.
But then.
A soft yet forceful sensation covered my lips. Hot breath tickled my skin.
Pindenai had closed in, kissing me tenderly yet fiercely.
Her clumsy tongue work resembled a predator greedily devouring prey more than a lover’s kiss.
Was it the drug?
I couldn’t speak or react.
I could only stiffen, eyes fixed on her as she closed hers.
Then, slowly, I shut my own—and lost consciousness.
* * *
“Phew.”
Pindenai broke the kiss, gazing down at Deus Verdi sprawled limply on the bed.
Unthinkingly, she traced her lips with a finger and smacked them.
It was her first time, but now she perfectly understood why lovers bit and sucked at each other like maniacs.
“Should’ve done it sooner.”
His lips, sweetened by the tea he’d drunk for her sake, had drawn her in irresistibly.
She’d kissed him right after he drank the laced tea—would it affect her too?
Probably just a trace amount, so Pindenai didn’t worry.
She roughly laid Deus on the bed, tucked him in, then stared vacantly.
She lost track of time, drawn in like a moth to flame.
‘Gotta go.’
Staring longer would leave her waiting endlessly until he woke.
As she hurried to leave—
Trip.
A large bag at her feet.
Deus’s unpacked luggage for tomorrow’s trip lay scattered.
Knocked askew by her touch, a photo stuck out from the pile.
“…….”
Pindenai picked it up slowly, unbidden.
Same background as hers, but different subject.
There she stood, awkward, before a wall painted with wings.
“You kept it.”
She crumpled the photo of herself, tore it to shreds, and tossed it out the window.
The fragments scattered on the wind, drifting away naturally.
And now, she would vanish just like them.
“Just forget me. It’ll be easier that way.”
Preparations complete, Pindenai glanced once more at the sleeping Deus. Her legs felt leaden.
“Ha, ridiculous.”
It was laughable.
Yes, laughable was the only word for it.
“The leader of the resistance, and look at me.”
She had to admit it.
The maid’s collar Deus Verdi had placed on her was sinfully sweet.
So sweet it tempted her to collapse here and forget everything in blissful ignorance.
But this was not the end of the road for Pindenai.
She bore too much to abandon it all and live in hollow happiness.
Giving up everything she carried…
“Wouldn’t be me at all.”
Not Pindenai.
“You can’t leash a wolf. You knew that and took me in anyway.”
Clomp, clomp.
She dragged her heavy feet forward, one step at a time. Each one toward the door stabbed at her heart, weighed down her axe.
“Who’d have thought I’d ever want to abandon the fight for freedom.”
Hand on the doorknob at last.
Pindenai lifted her head slowly.
Her white hair cascaded down, veiling her distorted red eyes.
“Fuck.”
Then, with a sigh laced in lament.
“Something.”
She exhaled a choked sob.
“I’d want more than freedom.”
The heavy door thudded shut, silence enveloping the room.
Thus, the wolf that had crossed the mountains departed on her journey home.