Chapter 130
Chapter 130
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 129
Chapter Title: One Step Ahead Ending
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Kim Shin-woo.
I was ten years old at the time.
I was going to elementary school, but I only attended about three days a week.
My mother didn't want to show me—the kid who could see ghosts—to other people.
I wondered if I'd even meet the attendance requirements, but she must have put some pressure on the teachers, because they never bothered me about it.
So what did I do at home?
Back then, knowing nothing, I would chat with ghosts. Not just the scary-looking ones, but ordinary-looking ones too.
And I knew some of them.
"Dad! The lady next door, Mrs. Hong, asked me to pass on a message!"
"...Huh?"
Mom didn't like hearing about ghosts, but Dad would listen to my stories sometimes.
That day, Mrs. Hong had begged me so earnestly to tell him, so I did.
"She said her husband... didn't commit suicide. She said Mr. Hong pushed her."
I didn't interact much with others, and since I could see the dead, I wasn't particularly attached to life itself. So I said it brightly.
But my father's face darkened instantly.
And the next day.
He brought home a big game console.
Not knowing much about these things, he only bought one game disc—the latest one, he said excitedly.
"Play this game while you're at home. Don't talk to any others. Got it?"
"...Yeah."
"Mom doesn't like it. Got it?"
"Got it!"
The game was called *Retry*.
It was the latest release, but the reviews weren't great. To me, though—with no access to the internet back then—it was a whole new world.
I adventured across a continent, overcoming all sorts of tough challenges. The difficulty meant my companions died often, but I didn't mind.
I could see dead people anyway. And these weren't real people—just game characters.
But seeing the protagonist, Aria, grieve stirred something strange in me.
Realizing dead companions couldn't be used anymore, I felt loss over death for the first time.
Uncomfortable.
That was my impression.
Then one day.
While I was playing, Mom came home from work.
She never cared much for me, so I worried she'd scold me for gaming.
But when she saw me with the console, she smiled brighter than ever.
"Aww, you're just like a normal kid! That's great!"
Ah, I see.
Mom likes it when I play games.
I dove into gaming nonstop.
The game was fun, sure, but more than that, I loved seeing Mom happy.
And the ghosts stopped bothering me.
Normal ghosts don't pop up like in movies to scare you.
They appear gradually.
Like a baby's cry from the corner of the room when no baby is there.
Or a knock at the window. Footsteps in an empty house.
They give warning signs, hoping you'll notice them.
But when I focused on the game, I forgot all that.
I could concentrate completely, without a care.
Yeah, I knew it.
[Shin-woo.]
A wet, blood-soaked voice came from the balcony.
*Splat.*
*Splat.*
The ghost climbing the window, leaving bloody streaks, sounded different from usual.
Beyond eerie—it felt like something rough pressing down my throat.
Even I, gripping the controller, flinched and nearly dropped it.
[Shin-woo.]
It was Mrs. Hong, who'd crossed over from the balcony. Her body, twisted grotesquely from the rooftop fall, crawled toward me.
[Shin-woo, why didn't you pass on my message?]
Eyes thick with resentment.
Realizing they were fixed on me, I couldn't look away.
Couldn't hold onto the game.
[Shin-woo, I told you I was hurting?]
*Splat.*
*Splat.*
Her grotesquely bent hand reached out and gripped my throat.
[Shin-woo! Why! Why! Why! That bastard's still living it up! I told you he killed me!]
"Gh, ugh!"
It was the first time.
Truly the first—the ghost's grudge touching my skin directly. Like sleep paralysis?
[Don't you pity me? I wanted to live too! Is it okay to ignore me while messing around with this stupid game? Huh? Huh? Huh?]
"A, Aun...ty..."
[Hong too! Her dad too! Do you know how fucked up it is seeing them alive after I died?]
"Th-that's..."
*Beep, beep.*
*Whirr!*
"Mom's home."
If Mom hadn't come home then. If Mrs. Hong hadn't fled in a panic.
I might have died.
Tears streaming, I clung to Mom's pants leg and sobbed.
"M-Mom! Mom! M-Mrs. Hong! She said her h-husband killed her! T-told me to tell you! Hic!"
Sobbing hysterically with hiccups—unlike me—I soaked her pants with tears.
Once I blurted it all out incoherently, I slowly looked up at her.
And.
"..."
Mom's eyes were ice-cold.
Like she had no patience left for me, her face twisted in disgust as she walked to her room without a word.
After that.
I was left with my maternal grandmother, a shaman.
She taught me that talking to ghosts carelessly would make them come more.
So I ignored them. And I didn't want to risk that danger again.
That's when I realized death was scarier than I thought.
Mom never visited after that.
But Dad did, sometimes.
Each time, he brought a ghost that looked like a factory worker.
Their numbers grew with each visit, their hands inching toward Dad's throat.
Worried, I told him about it.
And Dad never came back.
In the end.
I was alone.
Grandma was there, but she was always busy and tired of hearing about my ghost-seeing eyes.
The empty spots in my family stayed empty.
That's how I became a high school freshman.
While tidying my room, I spotted an old game console.
Instinctively, I dusted it off, checked the disc inside, and hooked it to the TV.
The familiar sounds started the game.
The one Dad bought.
The one that made Mom happy.
That game.
I fell into *Retry* once more.
Just for a little while.
A fleeting moment in my short life.
But it made our family harmonious, if only briefly.
A game.
* * *
"Your story saved me."
"...Pardon?"
Aria looked utterly confused, but I gave her a soft smile.
It felt like the first natural smile in ages.
Not the stiff one I'd worn daily.
Like ice that had frozen solid melting under sunlight.
"So don't call it fleeting. Don't make the me who found salvation there feel pathetic."
"...I don't understand."
But Aria approached me, as if shocked.
"Still, it comforts me."
She looked up slowly. Then, a bit shyly, she bowed her head and asked.
"You're not the Deus professor I knew. You're not Kim Shin-woo."
"Right."
Not the Kim Shin-woo from her first playthrough.
"But you look so much like him. I mean..."
"..."
"Will you help me say goodbye?"
A courageous whisper.
But the very words I'd waited for.
So.
I nodded gently.
And Aria threw herself into my arms.
"Professor, I really love you."
Like a child burrowing endlessly into me.
"If I could give you everything, I would. More important than myself, even."
Her voice choked with sobs again. I felt my chest grow damp and heavy.
"Even if you had some motive. Even if I was just a tool you used."
"..."
"Still, I loved you. I always wanted to do what you wished. To hear your words, obey them, lean on you."
I won't debate if her feelings truly count as love.
Whether it was explosive emotion from brainwashing at a young age, or a girl's pure, impossible first love.
That's for Aria Rias herself to decide.
"Without you, no one would have saved me. I wouldn't have made it that far."
"..."
"Thank you for saving me."
Gently.
I hugged her back.
Placing one hand on her head, stroking softly—she nuzzled deeper into my touch.
"So."
One more step.
Gathering courage.
"So..."
Her voice trembled violently. She bit my shirt lightly, as if hating to say it.
"Goodbye... Professor."
Farewells are sad.
Aria, who first taught me that in the game.
So I shared her pain now.
Thus, I held her tighter, standing in for first-round Kim Shin-woo.
His final words.
- If you get a next time, then.
When I first heard it, seeing her state, I thought, "Don't look for me."
But now, I still don't know what it meant.
Maybe regret at the very end.
Or a curse born of hatred.
Or jealousy toward my second-round self, trying to sabotage.
But what does it matter.
I release her bonds in his place.
"If there's just one thing I wish for you."
One thing.
What I want for Aria Rias.
I'd said it many times.
Different meaning for first-round me, but quoting it.
"Live like a student."
"...Ah."
"Attend lectures, take exams, hang out with friends, fight, fall in love—experience everything this age offers."
"But..."
What about the karma she carries?
The responsibility of knowing the world's end?
Her eyes held those questions as she looked up. I gently brushed her forehead.
"You were the protagonist. Because through you, I saw the world.
But this is reality now.
I've come here myself. So you don't need to carry it."
I kiss her lovely forehead.
A farewell gift, a birth celebration.
Comfort for the hardships endured.
A gesture full of meaning.
"You did well, Aria."
Now.
Free from that tragic role.
Live as an ordinary girl.
"Congrats on the ending."