Next Patient, Please
The preparations for the Silver Immortal Clinic proceeded at a blistering pace. After all, the entire project had the full backing of the Cheongseong Sect—one of the three great orthodox factions that divided Sichuan. The land, the building, and even the staff were all secured in the blink of an eye.
“Lord, will you truly become a physician?”
“There could be no role more fitting for our great benefactor.”
Elena’s companions weren’t about to sit idle either. Though the sudden pivot to running a clinic felt wildly out of left field, they threw their full support behind it. While Elena was away, Geumgang and Lee Cheongryeo looked after the village, and several villagers volunteered to work as assistants at the clinic.
“I’ll move this crate over here.”
“The hell is a thug like you doing loitering around here? Get lost!”
The villagers, with their imposing builds, eagerly took on the heavy labor or volunteered as gatekeepers. With everyone pitching in, the clinic was ready to open its doors in no time.
Eunseon-won
The name had been taken from Elena herself—the silver-haired immortal healer.
“Congratulations!”
“We wish you a prosperous opening!”
Inside the grand building, far more luxurious than any ordinary clinic, the necessary personnel had gathered.
“We look forward to working with you.”
“It is an honor to serve you, Uiseon-nim.”
The assistant physicians introduced by the Cheongseong Sect bowed deeply to Elena.
“I heard you cured the Cheongseong Sect elder’s qi deviation?”
“From what the gatekeepers told us, you were also the one who strengthened their bodies to such a remarkable degree.”
“Truly, even your presence is extraordinary!”
They had already heard the tales of the miracles Elena had performed from those around them. They addressed her as Uiseon with boundless reverence.
“If possible, we would be grateful to learn even a single technique from you.”
…Learn what, exactly? Holy power?
For Elena, who wasn’t actually practicing medicine, this level of respect was incredibly awkward.
I just hope this doesn’t blow up in my face.
She tried to shake off the anxiety creeping into the corner of her mind. But before she could find any peace, patients began pouring in.
“Oho! So this place has finally opened its doors!”
The clinic’s noisy preparations—backed by the full force of the Cheongseong Sect—had drawn plenty of attention. The moment Eunseon-won opened, curious onlookers began peering inside.
“Huk!”
“Just the gatekeepers look like they could be generals!”
The visitors were first stunned by the extraordinary physiques of the village helpers. Then, upon entering the main hall, they were even more astonished by Elena’s beauty.
“As expected!”
“So the rumors of Sichuan’s greatest beauty were true!”
Sichuan’s greatest beauty. The title had spread after people who’d come to scope out the clinic caught sight of Elena.
“Her silver hair, nearly white, flows like waves down her back. Her eyes, framed by lush lashes, sparkle like jewels. Her delicate frame is like a piece of exquisite glasswork. Truly a heavenly beauty!”
“…Thank you for the compliments, but that’s a bit of an exaggeration.”
Elena stared with a slightly sour expression at the patient who was openly critiquing her appearance right to her face. The man sat on the head seat, surrounded by expensive medicinal ingredients and decorative ornaments alike, and asked her.
“What brings you here today?”
“My stomach hurts.”
The first patient worth commemorating was a farmer. Clutching his belly with a pained face, he explained.
“I must have caught some nasty illness while working the fields. My stomach’s been aching nonstop for days. Please take a look, Uiseon-nim.”
“Understood.”
Elena used a skill to locate the source of his pain.
“There’s a problem with your stomach.”
“…Yes? Of course there’s a problem with my stomach if it hurts. You need to tell me what the symptoms are.”
“…”
“Uiseon-nim?”
How the hell am I supposed to know the symptoms?
Elena clicked her tongue internally.
I’m a cleric, not a doctor or a scientist, damn it!
Even among healers, skill composition varied wildly depending on one’s concept. Unlike a Doctor class that could analyze a patient’s condition in detail, a cleric could only roughly pinpoint where it hurt.
If I honestly admit I don’t know, won’t that cause a huge problem?
After making such a massive production out of opening this place, saying something like that would probably force her to flee town by tomorrow morning. In the end, Elena decided to be shameless.
“Is there any need to know the symptoms?”
“What?”
“You’re already completely cured.”
Perfect Cure. The skill she cast discreetly struck the farmer, and he shot up from his seat.
“My—my stomach! It doesn’t hurt anymore! No, my whole body feels lighter than ever!”
The farmer was stunned by the unbelievable medical technique. Not only had it healed his stomach, it had revitalized his entire body. And she hadn’t even touched him—when had she done it?
“You haven’t even laid a hand on me yet!”
“I am a master of martial arts. I treated you remotely by emitting qi.”
Qi my ass. It’s pure skill power.
But Elena couldn’t say that outright, so she decided to take full advantage of the misunderstanding that she was a martial arts expert.
“Since you’re cured, you may return home now.”
“But the symptoms…”
“There’s no need to know them. Why don’t you understand that obsessing over such things is what invites illness in the first place?”
She’d tried to gloss over it, but she hit a snag.
“H-hold on. Don’t clinics usually set their fees based on the symptoms? The more difficult the condition, the higher the price, right?”
Ah.
Right. That was true. Whether in Murim or the modern world, some things never changed. Even in games it was the same.
After a brief moment of thought, Elena quickly came up with an excuse.
“Did I seem to struggle while treating you earlier?”
“No, you didn’t even touch me.”
“Exactly. I, Elena, am not so greedy that I would demand an exorbitant fee for a treatment that required no effort whatsoever!”
Having crafted a plausible excuse, Elena shooed the patient out, telling him to simply pay the basic rate.
“Uiseon-nim!”
“You truly are the Medical Immortal!”
The assistant physicians gasped in admiration after watching her treat the first patient in such an extraordinary manner.
“To heal without even laying a hand on the patient! Even ordinary qi treatments usually require physical contact to transmit energy. I’ve never seen anything like this.”
“That makes sense. This is a special martial art from my homeland that cannot be found in the Central Plains.”
The more she spoke with the physicians, the more her medical practice turned into a masterclass in lying. The assistants, who took her nonsense at face value, were both impressed and concerned.
“Uiseon-nim, are you really fine with only taking the basic fee? That didn’t look like ordinary qi arts. Are you sure the cost matches the inner energy you must have expended?”
“Scooping a single cup of water from the sea is not what we call consumption.”
Though she’d phrased it in Murim-style terms, it was the truth. Since healing was her main role, Elena’s mana pool was among the very best even at level 100. She also had auxiliary skills that reduced consumption specifically for healing spells. The ocean metaphor wasn’t an exaggeration at all.
“Don’t worry. Even if we end up operating at a loss, I will pay your salaries out of my own pocket!”
So please just shut up already!
Fearing that continued conversation with real physicians would expose her lies, she made the grand promise to forcefully end the discussion.
The next visitor made a truly absurd request.
“Fix my fat and ugly body.”
“Pardon?”
“I said fix my fat and ugly body.”
What the fuck? Why is this guy asking a medical clinic to fix that?
Elena looked at the new patient with a slightly fed-up expression. He was an enormously obese man whose face was covered in pockmarks, to the point where breathing seemed difficult. Despite his appearance, his clothes were extremely luxurious. He introduced himself.
“I am called Oh Mangeum. Though I look like this, I pride myself on being one of the five richest men in Sichuan.”
This man was also one of the famous figures in the region. He gazed at Elena with eyes full of desperate hope.
“I heard you are the Medical Immortal. That even the Cheongseong Sect could not heal someone you cured. I waited for the day this clinic would open after hearing those rumors.”
“Um, sir, you’re not actually sick. This is more like a failure of self-management…”
“As if I did this to myself on purpose!”
Mangeum slammed his fist against the wall.
“This isn’t because I failed at self-management! After suffering a severe illness as a child, I ended up like this!”
“Hmm, I see.”
“I visited many physicians afterward, but none could cure me. Now you, Uiseon-nim, are my last hope. Please do not turn me away!”
After pleading, Mangeum signaled outside. Several strong men carried in a large chest.
“I am not asking for this favor for free. If you cure me, I will give you everything in here.”
When Mangeum opened the chest, it was filled with all sorts of treasures—gold ornaments, jewels of every color, and piles of fine silk.
Well, I already have plenty of money. This is really just for raising my reputation… But since he’s offering this much, I might as well give it a shot.
The idea of receiving the entire chest was tempting. Hiding her greedy thoughts, Elena put on a solemn expression.
“If that is the case, I will attempt it. I cannot guarantee a cure, however.”
“If even you fail, there is no hope left. Please…”
Receiving Mangeum’s desperate gaze, Elena recalled a skill appropriate for the situation.
There’s no status effect like obesity in the game, so there’s no direct healing skill for it. Turning him muscular with a permanent buff wouldn’t work. Since making him handsome is part of the package, I need something else. …Holy Revital, I suppose.
Holy Revital. A skill that restored the target’s body to its absolute optimal state. It was mainly used to remove fatigue and replenish expended energy.
It’s less versatile than Recovery or Perfect Cure, but it can do what those two can’t. Since the setting is that it restores you to your peak condition, maybe it’ll burn off some fat and improve his face too?
With the lighthearted thought that she could just use something else if it failed, the moment she cast the skill—
Steam erupted from Mangeum’s entire body.
“Uwaaaaah!”
Mangeum screamed, but it was the sound of a chick breaking out of its egg. A cry of rebirth.
“T-this is impossible!”
“No way!”
Amid the shocked voices of those around him, Mangeum ran his hands over his body. His once-tight clothes now hung loosely. His frame had shrunk to that of an average man, and defined muscles had appeared. His face was the same. The pockmarks had vanished, the fat had melted away, revealing quite a handsome appearance.
“Is this reality?”
Mangeum doubted his own senses. Though he had begged to be cured, he had never imagined it would happen so quickly and dramatically.
“It is reality.”
Elena answered the stunned Mangeum in a calm tone. She was a bit surprised herself, but having already seen the villagers transformed into muscular powerhouses, she adapted quickly. Having completed the treatment, she casually pulled the treasure chest toward herself as compensation and said nonchalantly.
“Next patient, please~.”