Anne's Diary (3)
Another day from hell had passed. I couldn’t be certain since there was no way to track time, but that was how it felt. Irene sat there, barely breathing. She hadn’t moved at all. Even as the cold rising from the floor gnawed at her body heat, even as thick darkness sprouted mold inside her heart, she simply lay there like a puppet with its strings cut.
“Uwaaaaaaaaaah!!!”
“Don’t, don’t do it…!”
“I don’t want to die!! I don’t want to die, stop!!”
“No, no, no, no, you can’t cut it off!!”
Maybe her will had finally broken. The screams echoing from the end of the corridor never stopped for even a moment, and the fox had no choice but to listen to them helplessly. Despair churned. It was a wretched scene. A space designed to wear people down. And yet, the only reason Irene had managed to keep even a sliver of her sanity in this place was because of the voice that spoke to her through the iron bars.
The girl chirped brightly.
“Fox big sis!”
“……Yeah.”
“We’re still alive today! I was worried we might get dragged to the lab while we were sleeping.”
“They drag you away in your sleep too…?”
“It happens sometimes. That’s why I have to mentally prepare myself every morning. It would be too scary to wake up and find myself lying on an operating table.”
“……”
“……Did I say something I shouldn’t have?”
Irene’s expression hardened. Anne fidgeted, watching her carefully. Seeing the girl’s cautious demeanor, the fox soon relaxed and shook her head.
“It’s fine… I was just thinking about something else for a moment.”
“That’s a relief, then.”
The girl smiled brightly. It was a pure, clean smile. At fifteen, she was old enough to be preparing for adulthood, yet she still seemed so young. The fox muttered to herself inwardly.
‘I wonder if they’re doing okay…’
She was thinking of her younger siblings. The little foxes she cherished. They must be happily living in that suspicious hideout right now. Without realizing it, Irene murmured.
‘……If my siblings grew up a little more, would they be like this?’
Looking at Anne somehow made her think that. A bitter taste spread across her tongue. A fleeting wave of regret. The sorrow for her siblings settled over her. She would never see them again. From now on, only a cold ending awaited the fox. Her chest ached with a sharp sting. She had wanted to stay by their side at least until they became adults, but even that was not permitted by fate.
Irene was sinking into silence. Then—
“Hey, sis.”
“……”
“I’ve been thinking. Once I get out of here, I want to write a book.”
“A book? All of a sudden…?”
“Yes! A book!”
When their eyes met, Anne beamed. The girl, who had been crouching in the corner, suddenly jumped up and answered.
“It’s been my dream since I was little.”
“You’re still little now.”
“Hey! I mean when I was even younger! And fifteen is old enough to know everything, you know?”
“Is that so…?”
“Of course it is!”
Anne flapped her arms as if she had been wronged. She seemed to be trying to argue against being called young, but to Irene’s eyes, even that looked childish. Only children hated being told they were children, after all.
“Anyway! I want to write an amazing story.”
“What kind of story?”
“I’m going to put everything I’ve experienced so far into it. Like stitching together a diary written day by day!”
“……Then isn’t that just a diary?”
“Hey! Who says a diary can’t become a book?”
The answer came back straightforward and confident. The girl spoke of her dream with pride. Even though she must have known it was a wish that could never come true, the light in her eyes never dimmed. Perhaps that was hope.
“I know too. That it’s unrealistic.”
“……”
“Maybe I’m wishing for an absurd miracle. If the devils outside heard my story, they’d probably laugh and call it a happy delusion.”
Yes, it was nothing but a delusion. It was no different from a girl hanging from a cliff praying for a convenient miracle. But—
“Still… isn’t it okay if those kinds of convenient things happen sometimes?”
The girl smiled brightly. It was a smile filled with the pure innocence unique to childhood.
“The harder the times, the more courage we need to have. The more we worry, the more beautiful life becomes.”
It was a little surprising. Even after enduring all sorts of horrific things as a test subject, she could still sing of hope. Instead of despair, hatred, resentment, or rage, she could speak of courage.
“Do you think I’m being too naive?”
“……Who knows.”
The fox looked at the girl without answering. Should she call her admirable? Or pitiful? Irene couldn’t decide. She simply reached through the bars and gently took the girl’s hand.
“Hehe!”
“What’s so great about a hand covered in calluses?”
“Mom said calluses are traces of effort. So your hands are beautiful hands, sis.”
“……Think whatever you want.”
The fox turned her head away indifferently. The warmth kneading her palm. She deliberately turned away from that hope. Irene simply closed her heavy eyelids.
Two more days passed. It had already been six days since the fox entered the laboratory. She was slowly getting used to it. The screams from the end of the corridor, the metallic smell of blood brushing her nose, the damp air. The things that had once disgusted her were becoming familiar one by one. That didn’t mean the souls dying every day had become acceptable, though.
‘In two days… it’ll be my turn to be dragged down that corridor.’
The one-week grace the devil had given her. Only two days remained in her limited life. Whether the experiment succeeded or failed… she wouldn’t be able to remain human anymore. The only difference was the method. The proposition of death remained the same.
Irene waited for her execution. But there was a girl who would step onto the threshold of life one step ahead of the fox. None other than Anne.
“You’re next, kid.”
“You’ve been lucky to survive this long… but tomorrow, that luck ends.”
“The director gave the order himself.”
It was news delivered by a passing guard. He said there would be an experiment tomorrow, so she should prepare. He even added a mocking remark about how she would finally get to meet her mom. A sudden death sentence.
Anne simply nodded.
“I understand.”
It was a calm reaction. She didn’t shrink back, beg while crying, or faint on the spot. She simply smiled as usual. The girl waited until the guards left, then continued the story she had been telling right up until that moment. As if nothing had happened.
“Where was I… Oh, right! Places I really want to visit while I’m alive!”
Anne chattered on. She had just been told she would die tomorrow. It might even be something more horrific than death. Yet even in this moment, the girl remained carefree. Irene gazed quietly at the figure visible beyond the bars.
“I really want to go to the academy! It must be such a wonderful place, right?”
“Anne.”
“Mom said only truly great people get to go to the academy. Once I get out of here, I absolutely have to……”
“Aren’t you scared of tomorrow?”
“……”
The question slipped out before she could stop it. The girl’s chatter abruptly stopped. It was the first silence that had fallen between them. A void lingered between the thick iron bars. Neither the fox nor the girl could continue speaking for a long time. Both remained quiet.
It was only after quite a while that a voice was heard again. Anne called softly.
“Sis.”
“Yeah.”
“Sis.”
“Speak.”
“The truth is.”
The girl crouched down beside the bars. She let out a small sound as if deep in thought, then a complicated smile rose to her lips. Timidly, she hugged her knees.
“The truth is… I’m scared too.”
“……”
A single plain sentence. Though it wasn’t a long one, an immeasurable depth lay beyond it. The girl’s voice continued calmly.
“I’m scared. I’m sad, anxious, and sometimes resentful too.”
“……”
“I can’t sleep because I’m afraid I’ll wake up on the operating table. Whenever the guards walk by, I hold my breath as much as I can. I’ve never let go of my fear for even a single moment.”
In the end, she was just a person. A young lamb who hadn’t even reached adulthood yet, someone who still needed someone’s protection.
“The reason I still smile is… because there’s nothing else I can do.”
The girl was powerless. Faced with unreasonable misfortune, all she could do now was hold onto hope. Perhaps that was the sorrow of life. Moisture slowly seeped into her frail voice.
“I’m really scared.”
It was a plea that sounded particularly pitiful.
“I miss Mom, Dad, sis… I miss my family so much.”
Tears fell with soft plops. She tried to hold back her sobs, but the whimpers she couldn’t completely suppress leaked out. The fox listened in silence.
“If I had known it would be like this, I would have told my family I loved them more often……”
A common regret. A common sorrow. A common wish.
“I don’t want to die.”
“……”
“I want to live.”
“……”
Irene bit her lip hard. It was a damnable pain. Her fist clenched on its own. After sitting in silence for a while, Anne, who had calmed down somewhat, murmured.
“Sniff… I’m sorry. I don’t usually act like this… It’s just that you’re the only person next to me right now, so I wanted to lean on you a little.”
“It’s okay.”
“Thank you.”
“What did I even do for you?”
“I thought I would die all alone and lonely. But thanks to talking with you, sis, I don’t think I’ll be lonely.”
“Don’t worry too much. I’ll be following right after you.”
“……Is that supposed to be comforting?”
“Who knows.”
Irene answered indifferently. The fox took the girl’s hand through the bars. Anne smiled through her tears.
“Sniff, hehe… Your hand is warm, sis.”
“Is it?”
“Yes!”
The two of them sat like that. With the cold iron bars between them, they waited for a tomorrow they had never wanted to come.
A day passed. The moment Anne opened her eyes, she had to leave the cell. As the guards dragged her away, the girl turned back and gave a bright smile. She left behind one short sentence.
“I’ll be back.”
Of course, Anne never returned.
That night, Anne’s screams filled the corridor. Her voice cried out in agony until dawn. The fox wanted to cover her ears, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She wanted to share even a little of the girl’s pain. The terrible shrieks gradually grew fainter as time passed, eventually fading into a handful of silence. That could only mean one thing.
Anne was dead.
“……”
There was no time to grieve. It was her turn next. The guards soon walked straight to Irene’s cell. With a heavy clank, the key turned and the door opened.
“The director is waiting.”
“Hold her tight so she doesn’t resist. She’s valuable material, so transport her carefully.”
“If you move, you die. Don’t get any funny ideas.”
As many as five men grabbed her. Every one of them was a high-ranking dark mage. They weren’t on the devil’s level, but they were skilled enough to easily subdue someone like Irene. There was no hope to be seen until the very end.
The fox simply took lifeless steps. Thud, thud. The sound of many footsteps echoed through the chilly air. Thinking of last night, which still lingered in her ears, the future that was about to arrive filled her with fear. A hollow laugh slipped from her lips.
“Haha…”
In the end, was she nothing more than a child after all? She wanted to collapse on the floor right then. She wanted to cry pathetically while calling for her master. No, anyone would do. She was hoping for someone—anyone—who would take her away from this place.
‘Who knows what might happen! Maybe a prince on a white horse will appear and save us.’
She needed the words she had once dismissed as delusion. If her life were truly about to end like this, there were far too many regrets she would leave behind in this world. A prince on a white horse. A dream she had never wished for even as a child—she only yearned for it now, with death right before her eyes. Her churning stomach made it hard to stand.
“……Save me.”
She swallowed a plea that would never reach anyone. They were already near the end of the corridor. If they opened that door and went down the stairs, she would fall into an irreversible reality. The fox’s shoulders trembled. Thud. The long footsteps stopped. One of the guards grabbed the doorknob leading to the laboratory. In that moment of despair—
“That’s far enough.”
Slice—!
The guards’ heads all floated into the air at once. A clean slash rang out belatedly, and the neatly severed heads of the dark mages rolled across the floor. Clatter!
“……?!”
Irene was startled by the sudden scene. Just as she was about to lose her balance and fall, an arm appeared from behind and caught her. The movement that wrapped around her body was gentle.
“I finally found you.”
A familiar voice rang in her ear. Even as the fox thought this can’t be happening, she lifted her head to look at the face. There was deep golden hair. White eyes smiled gently.
“Miss Irene.”
“……”
Was she dreaming? The person she had trusted the least appeared before her eyes.
“I’ve come to save you.”
The boy whispered sweetly. Irene stared at him blankly. At the same time, an inexplicable sense of relief washed over her. The despair that had just painted the world black vanished, and a new light wove colors across it. It was a dazzling sight.
“You.”
Irene, who had been in a daze, fully entrusted her body to the snake. Her voice was wet with tears.
“……Why did you come so late?”
“I’m sorry.”
Hot tears fell. The boy calmly wiped them away. Every time his hand touched her, a warm body heat colored the fox’s cheeks. It was endlessly tender.
“It’s all right now.”
“……”
“You held on so well. I’ll take care of the rest.”
In the corridor where darkness descended, Irene clung tightly to the boy’s body. As if she would never let go. She buried her face in his warm embrace. The snake quietly accepted the fox.
“I’m truly glad you’re safe.”
“……”
The two of them stood like that for a long time.