Dullahan Onahole, Jeanne (1)
“Dungeon collapse?”
The moment we were ejected outside, we ran straight into a Dungeon Management Bureau employee who'd rushed over due to the collapse.
“Ah.”
It was an unpopular dungeon with no other raiders anyway, so I'd half-expected this. I calmly explained the situation—omitting what needed omitting, of course.
“Ah, so it was a summon. At first, I thought you were a monster that escaped the collapse. The slime next to you isn't registered... Did you just acquire it?”
“Yeah, I summoned it in the dungeon just now.”
“Glurgle~”
The moment Slami spotted the employee, she shifted from her human form back to her standard slime state and jiggled in response.
“If you're okay with it, we can handle the summon registration right here.”
“Sure, that'd be great.”
With the employee's help, we went through a quick on-site procedure and registered Slami as a summon on the spot.
I wondered why the employee was being so unusually friendly, but he spoke up first.
“I'd heard rumors of a new S-rank Unique Ability Awakener registering recently, but you're definitely something else. Collapsing a 7th-grade dungeon when you haven't even had your ability for long? We might have another top-10 hunter on our hands soon.”
“Haha, you're too kind.”
I gave a vague reply to his excessive praise while thinking to myself.
'I registered the S-rank Unique Ability just yesterday, and word's already spread to bureau grunts?'
I'd anticipated some buzz when registering, but the info was propagating faster than expected. Trouble might come knocking sooner than later.
“These chaotic times are exactly when we need fresh talent.”
“Chaotic how?”
“It's all over the news. Haven't you heard? Lately, low-grade dungeons below 8th are popping up without any precursors.”
It was news to me. Ever since awakening, I hadn't had time to check headlines, but the details sounded serious.
Dungeons normally came with precursors—like mana detection a few days prior. But recently, they were appearing out of nowhere, precursor-free. They were all below 8th-grade, so local forces could handle them without much fuss, but it was a powder keg waiting to blow.
“It started with 10th-grade ones, but now even 8th-grade are showing up without warning. It's chaos out there. If higher-grades start doing the same, we're in real trouble.”
The employee, bored from manning an unpopular dungeon, kept spilling intel. I thanked him profusely and made my exit.
'Didn't know there was a bounty for dungeon collapses. Should've reported the Goblin's Tomb one too.'
He'd explained that the state paid bounties based on dungeon grade upon collapse. Since I was the sole raider, they'd wire it straight to the account linked to my hunter ID. Unexpected windfall.
'Time to gear up.'
Slami didn't need equipment, but Brina's combat power scaled hugely with gear, so it was essential. A better dagger this time around would've let her land solid hits on Jeanne, making the fight smoother.
'With proper gear on Brina, plus Slami and Jeanne? That's a full four-man party right there.'
Considering Jeanne had tanked three attackers solo before the aphrodisiac kicked in, she'd make a perfect defensive frontliner. I'd play all-rounder, Slami mid-range DPS with debuffs and restraints via aphrodisiac, Brina as burst nuker.
'And onaholes recover infinitely with my semen, so no healer needed as long as I stay careful. I've got regeneration too—no big wounds, and I'm good.'
The one gap? No dedicated ranged DPS. With such a solid front, a backliner just pouring fire would be ideal.
'Siriel or Jeon So-young come to mind.'
But Siriel was a dungeon elf. Non-humans could climb the Tower but couldn't enter dungeons other than their origin for some reason. Siriel was out.
That left Jeon So-young. Flame-projection Unique Ability backed by skills—textbook ranged DPS.
'But Jeon So-young...'
No reason she'd party with me, and fresh out of service, did I really want to team up again? Ranged DPS were a dime a dozen anyway. Or hunt a monster with ranged capabilities and turn it into an onahole.
“Might as well text Han Se-ah while I'm at it.”
I dialed the number she'd given me, but it just rang. No answer.
“Busy? Guess I'll text.”
Assuming she was in a dungeon, I messaged a request for data on dungeons with skill-wielding monsters.
Even with the Onahole Shop, females were preferable—but I wasn't shameless enough to specify.
'I can tell male from female when I see 'em.'
With that wrapped up, I headed home.
“Phew. Human clothes are so stuffy.”
The moment we entered, Brina shed her full-body outfit, stretched naked with evident relief.
“This form's comfier for me too~.”
Slami reverted to human shape and hopped toward the bed.
“Slami, wash up before getting on the bed.”
“Eek? Slami melted all the grime away, unlike gross Brina. Why~?”
“Your speech needs fixing too. Come on.”
“Nuuu~”
Brina dragged the reluctant Slami to the bathroom, winking and sending a telepathic message my way.
-I'll handle Slami, Master. Enjoy yourself.
'Nice one, Brina.'
I thumbs-upped her. She beamed and vanished into the bathroom with Slami.
Thanks to Brina's quick thinking, I could leisurely enjoy my new Dullahan-turned-fellatio onahole, Jeanne.
“First time's gotta be savored solo.”
I pulled the Jeanne-fellatio onahole from my inventory, and her telepathy hit immediately.
-Mm... Where am I? It's pitch black.
Jeanne, just regaining her wits and assessing.
Even without spoken words, her direct thoughts let me finally understand her.
“You're conscious?”
-...! You're that monster-fucker from before?
“Monster-fucker? Harsh. I just used my onahole.”
Jeanne, hearing "onahole" for the first time, grasped its meaning via telepathy.
-Even crazier than I thought. Treating monsters like jerk-off holes?
“Not monsters—onaholes. Whatever, you'll get it soon enough. No need to explain.”
-What? You can understand me? Then kill me now. I don't know how you'd fuck a monster, but you won't get that from me.
Her reaction reminded me of Brina's, drawing an involuntary chuckle.
-What's so funny?
“Heh. Had another onahole like you.”
-Already calling me your onahole? Whoever she was, I'm different. Even as undead, they couldn't break my pride. Think a monster-playing worm like you can subdue me? Try it. If you want your dick shredded by necromantic mana, that is.
Trapped in her necromancy-dominated flesh, Jeanne was glad for the mana coursing through her—for the first time.
Vision and senses gone, but her consciousness intact meant she wasn't dead. Still undead, latent necromantic mana active. That monster-fucker couldn't penetrate her with his filthy cock.
The aphrodisiac that somehow worked on undead had subdued her at the end, but she wouldn't give him what he wanted. Confirmed human using mana, not magic—impossible for him to invade her mana-veined body.
It had to be.
“Onahole treatment? Obviously. You are my onahole now.”
-...What?
“Actions over words.”
-What...! Mmph?!