Chapter 34
Chapter 34
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 34
Chapter Title: Misunderstanding
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“You bitch…!!!”
The shout exploding from inside the workshop was louder than any ordinary blast.
The rage showed no signs of dying down, and outside the door, a few shattered potion bottles lay scattered.
I waited in front of the door for quite a while.
‘Hmm… I figured it’d be over by now.’
My expectations were dashed, and inside, a middle-aged man was still pounding the table and wailing.
Through the crack in the door, colorful potion bottles kept coming into view.
“Ever since I drank this… my Excalibur!!!”
The middle-aged man frantically grabbed his crotch with both hands.
“It won’t move!! No sensation at all!!”
“…Eh, well, that’s because your Excalibur was already kinda old to begin with…”
Caramel.
Judging by her outfit, she seemed like an alchemist… but her tone and expression were utterly irresponsible.
“Do you have any idea why I came here? I wanted that blazing sensation the moment I drank it!!”
“It’s blazing right now, though…”
“Gaaah…!!!”
The middle-aged man screamed, and Caramel replied with obvious annoyance.
‘Poor guy, but that’s about all I can muster.’
Torn between pity and boredom, I finally reached a conclusion.
‘Yeah. I’ve waited long enough.’
I placed my hand on the doorknob and cautiously opened the door.
“Huh? Come on in~! Welcome to Caramel’s Workshop~”
Even in the midst of the chaos, Caramel greeted me shamelessly.
I pulled out my whiteboard and scribbled a simple greeting.
[Hello]
“Oh, can’t speak?”
[Yes]
Caramel nodded.
Then she glanced at the middle-aged man pounding the table.
“Ah, ignore this guy. He’ll be leaving soon.”
“Leaving? I’m not leaving until you fix my Excalibur!! I’ll die right here!!”
“Then go die in the corner over there~ I’ll take care of this customer first~”
With that, Caramel turned to me without a hint of apology.
“But what’s with the mask?”
[The mask?]
“Ah!”
I’d only answered exactly as it was, but Caramel nodded as if that was enough.
“Well, hiding your identity is standard in the gray zone!”
She even came up with a plausible reason on her own.
“So… what can I do for you, customer?”
Now came the real part.
How was I going to lure Caramel in?
How was I going to get this crazy alchemist on my side?
‘Tell her the truth of alchemy?’
No way.
I didn’t know any truths of alchemy. And honestly, was there even such a thing?
Caramel wouldn’t even snort at half-baked concepts I’d picked up.
‘Tell her a future recipe?’
…Even less feasible.
Who knew what butterfly effects that could cause, and this nutjob wouldn’t follow it obediently anyway.
She might melt the world like chocolate.
“…Hm?”
Caramel raised one eyebrow.
“Oh, no way… do you have erectile dysfunction too?”
[No, not that]
I wrote a firm denial on the whiteboard and squeezed my eyes shut.
Caramel just grinned casually. “Good to hear~”
“So, what do you need~?”
The moment of choice had arrived.
I went for the direct approach.
[Want to make a deal?]
This was a transaction.
I’d give Caramel what she needed, and I’d get what I needed from Caramel.
“Oh my… you’re the sixth person today to make me an offer like that~”
Was she insane?
No, anyone sane wouldn’t dream of proposing a partnership to Caramel.
Were those other five even still alive?
“What can you offer me?”
[I’ll tell you something fun]
“Hmm? Something fun?”
After some thought, I pulled out one recipe I knew would pique her interest the most.
This was a sure thing.
It’d definitely hook her.
[How about a TS potion?]
A gender-swap potion.
Exactly as it sounded—drink it, and a man turns into a woman, a woman into a man.
Non-commercial, perverted, and with insane(?) practicality to boot.
“Ooh…”
Caramel’s eyes sparkled.
See? She was already hooked.
This was definitely…
“Go hang out with that ED guy over there~!”
***
‘Why?’
I’d been so confident.
A gender-swap potion—who wouldn’t flip for an unknown brew like that? Especially a deranged alchemist as far from normal as Caramel.
I’d tailored it perfectly to her tastes.
Unconventional combinations, bizarre ideas, and above all, something that looked fun.
‘The TS potion checked every box?’
Exploration of identity, reinterpretation of biological structures… new market potential… what was lacking?
‘Ah.’
Maybe that was it?
TS potions were too ordinary.
In other words… too classic, with the effect only kicking in after ‘drinking’ it.
Too tame.
Caramel probably wanted something far less gentle.
Ruthless TS… a throwable version, lobbed without warning! Boom! Instant gender swap.
No consent, sudden, violent, unreasonable.
It was entirely possible she’d prefer that.
‘Okay.’
I came to that conclusion on my own and turned to head back into her workshop.
Then…
- Thud.
‘Ugh.’
A hulking man shoved past me, sending me sprawling on my butt.
I looked up to see strangers blocking the doorway.
“What’s with this masked freak?”
One of them grumbled, looking down at me.
“Boss, just ignore him. We gotta clean up the workshop first.”
“Yeah, no reason to mess with someone minding their own business.”
They stampeded into the workshop.
Typical back-alley thug attire.
‘What the hell?’
I knew Caramel picked fights, but this many, all at once?
‘What did she really do?’
Another Excalibur ruined?
The vibe was off.
I immediately activated 【Silence Walker】 and slipped in after their shadows, hiding in a corner of the workshop.
“Hey, alchemist.”
The biggest guy crossed his arms and spoke.
“Hand over this building.”
“…What now?!”
“Running a solo gig in a dump like this must be exhausting, right? Our boss’ll protect you. In return…”
“…Hand over the building?”
“Heh. Yeah… let’s end this clean while we’re being nice.”
“Hmph, or what?!”
- Crash!
Caramel hurled the glass bottle in her hand at him.
“Grahhh!! What the hell did you throw, you damn bitch?!”
“B-Boss?!”
“You bitch…!!”
- Shatter.
The glass bottles on display along the wall shattered one after another.
Even the ones deep inside.
‘Oof.’
I watched the scene unfold, thinking calmly.
‘Should I help?’
Trash like that… I could take them out anytime I wanted.
The question was, what’d I gain from it?
‘Hm.’
After a moment’s hesitation, I stopped in front of Caramel, who was pinned face-down by the men.
I deactivated 【Silence Walker】 and pulled out my whiteboard.
“Huh?”
“What the… this guy…”
The men frowned in confusion.
I scribbled on the whiteboard with a squeak.
[Need help?]
Caramel, face mashed into the floor, turned her head to look at me.
Her lip was split, cheeks covered in dust.
“Help me!”
[Then you’ll deal with me?]
Of course, I figured that alone wouldn’t be enough…
“Yes, yes, got it!”
…It worked.
‘Tch.’
Well… that one line was plenty.
I stowed the whiteboard in my inventory, thinking.
‘But…’
There was a problem.
Five guys solo? A bit much.
‘Screw it.’
- Whoosh.
I drew out mana threads and whipped them across the floor.
They silently wrapped around their ankles.
- Thud!
“Gah!”
“Wh-What…!”
All five hit the floor at once.
“You bastard!!”
One pulled a dagger and charged me.
I stepped back, adjusting the mana at my fingertips.
“Urk…!”
The man’s wrist snapped as he swung, dagger clattering to the ground.
I didn’t miss the opening, slamming my knee into his gut.
“Guh…!”
He crumpled to the floor.
‘Ngh… damn, that hurt.’
My knee throbbed too.
But I kept a straight face.
“Magic user! Watch out!”
“Damn it, where’d this guy come from?!”
I activated 【Silence Walker】 again.
“Huh, where’d he go?”
“Be careful!”
“Everyone, duck!!”
The big guy yelled, pulling a magic tool from his belt.
Then…
- Fwoosh!
Glass shards scattered on the floor swirled into an explosion.
They pelted my body.
‘Ow.’
Blood dripped down.
“Kehehe… there you are, you masked dog…”
They laughed in satisfaction.
That moment.
“…Huh?”
My blood began to vibrate.
✦━━━━━━━━━━━━✦
【Blossoming Bloodfall】
Spilled blood reverts to life, blooming into flowers once more.
: Absorbs spilled blood to recover health.
The blood’s circulation rejects death, and life blooms anew.
✦━━━━━━━━━━━━✦
The blood refused to touch the ground.
Droplets hovered in the air, then seeped back into my body.
- Plink.
Glass shards embedded in me fell to the floor.
‘You started it?’
…Using a magic tool, sneaky?
- Crackle.
【Leviathan】 formed in my hand, a tiny abyss blooming at their feet.
***
“Urgh…”
The five men lay sprawled on the floor.
Twitching unconsciously—they must’ve been hit hard by a trip to Levi’s mental world.
“Were you… sent by Moonlight…?”
Moonlight.
That name already?
‘They’re moving that fast?’
Not something I cared to dwell on now, but their misunderstanding worked in my favor.
[Why’d you pick a fight then?]
“Urk… it was Moonlight after all…”
To me, they just looked shell-shocked, brains stalled—but why did they keep spouting dramatic last words?
What’d I even do that bad?
I turned away from the fallen men and approached Caramel, huddled in the corner.
“Eek.”
Her reaction was weird.
Scared…?
The gutsy woman who’d thrown bottles earlier was gone; she stared wide-eyed, gauging me.
[You okay?]
“Y-Yes! Totally fine! Customer…? Customer? Partner? Patron? Uh…”
She fumbled for a title.
I started to write my name on the whiteboard… then erased it.
Gray zone—dropping my real name could spell trouble.
After a moment’s thought, I wrote again.
[Call me Puppet]
“Pu-Puppet?”
[Yes]
Puppet… as in a doll.
Fitting for a setup where I was some puppet sent here on orders.
Not a name I’d use forever anyway.
“Th-Thank you, Puppet-nim.”
Caramel bowed frantically, flustered.
[We’ll protect this place, so deal?]
“W-We…?”
We.
Just me, really—but linking me to those downed guys would be a hassle, so projecting an organized vibe seemed smart.
[Yes, we]
“Y-Yes…”
Caramel blinked and nodded, but…
“P-Please spare me…! I’ll do anything…!!”
But…
She’d thoroughly misunderstood something.