Chapter 153
Chapter 153
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 153
Chapter Title: A Headache
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Whoosh.
I suddenly turned my head left and right.
“…….”
Before I knew it, the mudskipper and Bahamut had vanished without a trace.
Just moments ago, they’d been right beside me, poking at the air with twigs or dragging their nests around…
Now, they were gone, without so much as a breeze or a shadow.
‘They’ve really set up house here.’
I muttered to myself inwardly.
It wouldn’t be strange if they’d actually decided to settle down in the Great Forest.
They were so free-spirited, it was like the word “responsibility” had been erased from their dictionaries.
Reptilian pests that were always disappearing, always making me do all the work, always off playing among themselves.
It was impossible to tell who was the master and who was the servant in our relationship.
【Huh? L-Lord Wind Spirit King is gone…!】
[Guess he doesn’t like you.]
【F-For real!?】
Elpi flapped his wings in a panic, scanning the surroundings.
His beak trembled, and the string around his neck shook violently.
But no matter how frantically he whipped his head around, nothing changed.
Except for one thing.
Elpi’s mental state was crumbling faster by the second.
Maybe it was because this pigeon bore the title of “Wind Spirit King.”
Whoooosh──!!
A sudden gust of wind whipped up.
The grass rustled, and the branches around us swayed.
“Ugh… what’s with this sudden wind?”
“Such a wimp.”
“Third Place, you’re shaking too.”
Elpi ignored them and threw a fit.
He parted the bushes, hid behind trees only to pop back out, circled the sky while making pointless sound effects like “Coo-coo-coo-coo─!”
It was impossible to tell if he was searching for Bahamut or a four-leaf clover.
Unable to stand it anymore, I gave the string a slight tug with my finger.
[Stay still.]
【W-What the hell, human… Just because you’re with Lord Wind Spirit King doesn’t make you hot shit!】
[Fried pigeon.]
【…Sorry.】
The wind died down.
Like flicking off a remote control switch, it calmed instantly.
Was this the majesty of a spirit king? Turning so obedient on a dime.
I slowly tilted my head.
This pigeon… the one who’d bent over at a perfect ninety degrees in Bahamut’s presence… was trying to act all high and mighty the moment Bahamut disappeared.
Bahamut’s master was me, to begin with.
Why was he trying to throw his weight around at me?
‘Hmm.’
Probably…
Either the spirit’s innate hierarchy was hopelessly tangled, or he was just plain stupid.
One of the two, for sure.
【Um… I’m only saying this because I’m really worried, but if you eat me, you’ll catch bird flu.】
[Got it.]
I nodded indifferently.
I could’ve ignored him, but I was curious what nonsense those round eyes would spout next.
【….】
Elpi glanced around warily, then covered his beak with his wing.
Acting all secretive for a pigeon.
【Bird flu… is a disease.】
[A disease, yeah.]
Right.
Bird flu was a disease.
At least in the world I knew.
But this pigeon seemed to have a very different worldview.
【That disease…! Once you get it…!】
Elpi paused dramatically.
As if he were about to reveal some earth-shattering secret.
【You lose your body…!】
[?]
【Your body! The human body!! Feathers start growing, arms turn into wings!】
Hmm.
This was pretty different from the bird flu I knew.
…No, way different.
【Legs shrink shorter and shorter, until all you can say is “coo”!!】
‘That’s just you.’
I nearly scrawled that line blatantly on my whiteboard… but barely stopped myself.
Elpi only got more worked up.
【Wanna know what’s even scarier? It’s contagious!】
[Whoa.]
【S-Scary, right?!】
Elpi’s shoulders (wings) puffed up proudly.
I’d just played along once, and the pigeon’s ego stood on end like a cat’s fur.
He kept flapping his wings as he continued.
【Humans who catch bird flu!】
His voice grew louder.
【Get all happy when they see pigeons and start scattering food!】
Sounds like something I’ve seen in a park.
【Have to sit whenever they see a bench!】
Isn’t that just basic human behavior?
【Shiver all over at the sight of sunlight!】
Cold sufferers do that too.
【And in the end… they become part of the cycle!】
The cycle…
What the hell was the cycle?
Dying and becoming nutrients for the soil?
The ecosystem cycle?
Or some spirit-specific cycle I didn’t know about?
Elpi read my doubt perfectly and declared.
【The great cycle where they live off the bread crumbs humans discard!】
[Wow.]
I just wrote an exclamation.
In this pigeon’s head, “cycle” apparently meant the ecological structure where pigeons snag bread crumbs.
【That’s why bird flu is the terrifying disease that turns humans into pigeons!】
[That’s just evolution.]
Clearly, this bird flu was from a world line far removed from mine.
This pigeon must’ve picked up some cultish pigeon evolution theory from a backwater dimension with bad water.
‘Sigh.’
I let out a breath and quickened my pace.
I wrapped the string around my hand a few times and gave it a light pull.
Then—
【Gek!】
The little pigeon’s body jerked forward.
“Huh? Su-seok, what’s this?”
[Picked it up.]
“I know that much, but…”
I handed the string to Seros.
He tilted his head at the collared Elpi, but I silently pressed on ahead.
…He’d take good care of it.
Pigeons feed themselves fine anyway.
【Hey, human? If you’re gonna do this, just let me go—】
“Oh? A spirit, huh?”
“What?”
Seros peered closely at Elpi and muttered “spirit,” and Lapia whipped her head around at the word.
And then…
“Here, Third Place. A gift.”
“…?”
“Oda picked it up. Whoops… don’t go falling for me now?”
Seros said coolly as he passed Elpi’s leash to Lapia.
Three seconds.
Four seconds.
On the fifth—
Lapia’s face drained to blue.
“…Y-You crazy bastard…!!”
“Eek—!?”
Whoosh──!
【I’m scared.】
A warm breeze blew from the side.
Feeling the sweltering wind, I said nothing and started walking again.
***
One week.
Six of the seven days until the World Tree’s trial had already passed.
My body was still wrecked, and Rev had laid down the law.
— No strenuous activity.
With my body in tatters, intense workouts or sparring were out of the question.
So today, as always, I’d come to the mansion to play the role of “lunch errand boy.”
‘Gotta listen to the doctor.’
Especially when it was the Saintess’s word.
Rev’s words were practically divine oracles, and I was the good patient who followed them faithfully.
“Heyyy~ Su-seok, why’re you so late?”
As soon as I trudged up to the mansion, Seros waved.
Right beside him stood Lapia, stiffly holding Elpi’s leash.
[You’re just early.]
I always came at the same time.
They were the ones here ahead of schedule.
“Wonder what’s for lunch today.”
Seros said in an excited voice.
For reference, lunch duty was Seros, Lapia, and me.
The three of us were practically fixed.
Our cooking skills weren’t great… so Carden did most of it, while we ran errands like a task force.
【Human… I’m hungry.】
“Uh… uh?”
Ever since realizing Elpi was the Wind Spirit King, Lapia had been bowing and scraping nonstop.
More precisely… should she bow to the spirit king?
Was bowing to this pigeon really right?
She was flailing somewhere in between.
“Uh…….”
As a spirit-handling family, she knew she ought to bow to a spirit king’s majesty… but she didn’t want to.
Fair enough. The pigeon in front of her hardly screamed “king.”
All the majesty had leaked out, leaving only those feathers.
“Su-seok… you sure it’s okay to give this to me?”
【Human… even if it’s you, calling me ‘this’ hurts my feelings…?】
Lapia yanked the leash, shoving Elpi toward me as she asked.
I peered into Elpi’s round, bright, idiotic, noisy eyes.
Hmm.
I picked up my whiteboard.
[I don’t want it.]
“But still… you caught it…? No, tamed it…? Or whatever?”
【Human… please don’t treat me like a stray dog….】
I shrugged inwardly.
I wasn’t a spirit mage to begin with.
No reason for a spirit to stick with me.
And crucially—
‘Too much hassle.’
The mudskipper who ditched his tank to lounge on a blanket out of water.
Bahamut, whose hobby was gathering twigs for nests.
I already had two I couldn’t handle.
A third would be chaos incarnate.
And right as I thought that—
“Sandwiches need ham.”
“No, they don’t.”
“You’re insane.”
“Do you even know what a sandwich is?”
“I figured as much.”
Voices from the mansion kitchen.
Carden, bustling about alone.
“Guide’s talking to himself again.”
Chopping with a knife, slamming the cutting board, shaking something— the sounds built up louder.
As we neared the kitchen, Carden spotted us and stopped his muttering.
“Ah~ You’re here.”
The group naturally took their seats.
I handed Carden’s pre-portioned ingredients one by one to Elpi.
The pigeon clumsily picked them up with his feet instead of wings.
【Ugh… why am I doing this….】
Clink.
An ingredient clutched in pigeon talons.
Hygiene was a concern, but Elpi kept insisting.
【Spirits are pure, so it’s fine… way cleaner than humans… for real….】
Of course…
I trusted that zero percent.
“Ahem! Well then, please do your best today as well.”
“Yay~”
The finished lunch.
Sandwiches that felt a bit meager for a full meal.
-Kyaa.
-Woong…
Lapia’s spirits each grabbed a sandwich.
Spirits eating sandwiches? Questionable, but everyone acted natural, so I let it slide.
“Stop eating!”
Lapia yelled at a spirit that was munching without moving its sandwich.
The spirit hung its head glumly, picked up its sandwich, and headed out to the others.
“By the way, Guide! How does the World Tree trial work?”
“Seros, trying to cheat already?”
“That’s exactly it!”
While Seros and Carden chatted, I snuck one of Lapia’s spirit-carried sandwiches and headed to the second floor.
“Huh, Su-seok? Where to?”
[Nap.]
Munch.
I bit into the sandwich as I climbed the stairs.
The World Tree trial, tomorrow.
No more delaying it.
My thoughts tangled as I walked.
‘Different for everyone, probably.’
The World Tree’s trial.
I recalled the ordeals Klaus faced in “Aka Reang.”
‘Some easy ones, and… some brutally hard.’
Klaus’s routes where he simply confronted his “past,” or the nastier ones—
“Past,” in other words… the strongest Klaus from countless previous playthroughs appearing in person to fight.
The former was just read-and-reflect level.
The latter… think of it as a preview of battling the final boss.
‘Hmm.’
The difficulty was beyond imagination.
But the rewards were just as solid.
‘Seasonal Sword, was it?’
Spring. Summer. Autumn. Winter.
A top-tier weapon wielding the attributes befitting each season.
But… now wasn’t the time to worry about Klaus.
What I’d face wasn’t Klaus, but—
‘…The past.’
“My” past.
Or… “Adel’s” past.
How those two would tangle and emerge.
What would pop out.
But… whatever it was, either one would be a massive pain in the ass… my instincts told me.