The World Got Fucked
The world got fucked. Wait, correction. The world got fucked once.
It was January 1st, 2027. Without any warning, massive stone pillars suddenly shot up from the ground all over the planet. Geologists claimed it was crustal uplift caused by tectonic plate movement, while environmental activists seized the moment to scream that it was proof of global warming. Internet communities, surprisingly, leaned hard into the global warming theory—Earth (4.6 billion years old, blue-haired elf loli, very cute) had gotten so excited that her nipples went rock hard, and those were the very stone pillars we were seeing now. I actually really like that theory.
Anyway, back to the main point. Where there’s excitement, there’s always a climax. Earth eventually came so hard she made a complete mess. It would’ve been nice if what she squirted out was the thick, sticky fluid (oil) that had been sleeping deep inside her. But no. What that crazy bitch Earth spewed everywhere was something else entirely: monsters.
The stone pillars turned into Gates that began vomiting out horrific creatures in massive quantities. The sudden ambush wiped out weaker nations with poor military strength one after another, and even the so-called advanced countries and military superpowers were left with deep scars.
The sound of lukewarm water filling the bathtub echoed softly.
“God, Buddha, Allah—everyone, please give me strength!”
Everything was ready. On the edge of the tub I’d placed a rosary, prayer beads, and—since I didn’t know what Allah’s symbol looked like—a printed picture of a Quran cover. I sang the only hymn I knew.
“Let’s gooo~ Jesus’ little soldiers~ With Jesus leading the way~♪ I’ve never been to church before, but please stay with me today!”
Then I prayed to what sounded like a hotel concierge.
“Oh my Siddhartha! Father who weeps for the three thousand worlds. If you truly are a being of great mercy and compassion, I beg you… give me a chance. I’m begging for a chance.”
“Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!”
I didn’t forget to bow my head toward Mecca either. I repeated the whole sequence over and over with a reverent heart. Anyone watching would probably ask if I’d lost my damn mind, but this was an incredibly important ritual.
In the middle of battlefields turned into living hell by the monsters pouring out of the Gates, beings had appeared like messiahs. Awakeners.
As if the whole world population had been entered into one giant gacha, superhumans suddenly popped into existence. Whether they wanted to or not, they were thrown onto the front lines. Medicine to the pharmacist, monsters to the Awakeners. They slowly but surely began to turn the tide of battle. They drove the monsters back, successfully advanced all the way to the Gates, and eventually even launched counterattacks into the Gates themselves.
And the things the Awakeners brought back from inside the Gates were more than enough to shock the world once again.
◈ Creates transplant organs free from immune rejection regardless of race or blood type
◈ Pebble-sized stone that produces energy equivalent to one ton of coal
◈ Literally a tiny sun
From that day on, the Gates—once symbols of hatred and disaster—changed. People became fascinated by the treasures hidden behind the monsters, labyrinths, disasters, and trials, and began stepping through the Gates of their own free will. Those people came to be called Hunters.
Tick. Tock.
The tablet I’d left charging on the wall outlet was blinking.
[23:55]
“Final check time. Rosary—check. Prayer beads—check. Quran—check. And the tablet for lurking in the Hunter Wannabe Gallery—ready.”
I lowered myself into the bathtub. The water temperature was pleasantly lukewarm. It felt like something good was about to happen.
Ever since the Awakeners appeared, every year on the night before January 1st, everyone turning from 18 to 19 and stepping across the threshold into adulthood would simultaneously have their fate decided by the roulette wheel of Awakening. No one knew why. It was a once-in-a-lifetime global event far more important than the college entrance exam.
If I succeeded in Awakening and became a top-tier Hunter working for a megacorp, money, fame, and women would all be within my grasp. Like a dragon ascending from a ditch. I refused to even consider failure. I had zero interest in living the pathetic life of a corporate rat—commute, work, commute, work, repeat. Every other kid my age waiting for their Awakening moment felt the same way.
[23:59]
Gurgle.
The water swallowed my earlobes. When I closed my eyes, only the pounding of my heart remained.
The me from yesterday was dead. The parents who had died in the Gate incident—whose faces I could barely remember—and the orphanage that had taken me in because of that empty space. The past where I could only finish mandatory middle school and then jump from part-time job to part-time job. The labels of orphan, middle-school dropout, and part-timer were about to be washed away in this bathwater. I would be reborn as a National Power-grade Hunter.
Bzzzzt. Bzzzzt!
The tablet alarm I had set for exactly midnight began vibrating.
Did it trigger?! Awakener status window?!
Ding.
Ding? I’d heard that when you became an Awakener the status window sound was a bright ding, but before I could even open my eyes, I saw the silhouette of the tablet I’d casually propped up losing its battle against the vibration and beginning a free-fall.
Wait. Isn’t that thing still plugged into the outlet…?
Splash—!
CRACKLECRACKLECRACKLE
“Aaaaargh! It’s burning hot, refuuuuu!”
Invisible lightning raced across my skin. Every muscle in my body stiffened from the electricity, and the current that forced its way through the rigid gaps felt like it was tearing my flesh apart. It hurt like hell.
“Pwah!”
When I opened my mouth to scream, a huge gulp of electricity-laden water rushed in. Electricity tasted sour. An unbearably sharp, tongue-curling acidity!
I had to get out. If I stayed here any longer I’d turn into a brain-dead idiot who forgot how to escape and end up as perfectly sous-vide electrocuted chicken.
Thud.
“I’m alive… ugh!”
I threw my naked body onto the floor and crawled out of the tub. The tingling residual pain still prickled across my skin. What a glorious Awakening night—electrocuted to death while taking a bath. I’d almost become a 2040 Darwin Award candidate.
I barely managed to crawl out of the bathroom and collapsed on the floor. That was when a translucent window appeared before my eyes.
[TURN ON THE COMPUTER RIGHT NOW!]
Black text was blinking, exactly like a quest window in a game. It was definitely the status window I’d seen countless times while lurking on galleries. Only the format was completely different. The spot where your name, class, stats, and other information should have appeared was empty.
It was full of questions, but what could I do? I had to do what it said. I dragged my body across the floor like a caterpillar, also mopping up the spilled water with my whole body in the process.
I must have become an Awakener. Or maybe I was experiencing some new kind of life-flashing-before-my-eyes phenomenon. Either way, it didn’t matter. Hadn’t I already sworn to myself?
Awaken or die.
[TURN ON THE COMPUTER RIGHT NOW!]
“Yeah, yeah. I’m going, damn it.”
I ignored the status window that kept blinking to assert its presence and shook the water off my hands. I had no desire to get electrocuted again. The LED lights on the PC case looked especially bright today. Please let that be a good omen.
The familiar desktop background appeared on the screen. It was an illustration of a character with mint-colored twin tails. My favorite kind of degenerate character with an impressive chest. Just seeing her gave me a strange sense of relief.
Crackle. Crackle.
Black pixels began to fill the screen. The butt that could easily feed ten children was being mosaicked and erased.
“No! My Valkyrie! What the hell is happening?!”
> [You have been chosen by Mechassiah.]
The pixels that suddenly filled the entire screen began forming a message.
> [You have been chosen by Mechassiah!]
It was definitely a name I’d never heard before. I lurked in the Hunter Wannabe Gallery dozens of times a day and prided myself on knowing almost every Hunter-related term, but I swore I had never seen the word Mechassiah before.
“Click! Click! Alt+Tab! Alt+Esc! Task Manager!”
I barely managed to control my body and hammered the keyboard and mouse, but they wouldn’t respond. I turned off the power. I pulled out the power cable. I disconnected every single wire connected to the case. I did every single thing a person could do when their computer stopped listening. Yet the message on the monitor continued to shine arrogantly.
“Fuck… what the hell do you want from me?! What is Mechassiah, you degenerate?! Do you degenerates only speak in words only you understand?!”
> [Will you accept the grace? Y / N]
The message had changed. I had even pulled out the power cord and turned off the monitor’s main switch. One thing was certain—this situation was not normal.
> [Y / N]
I couldn’t bring myself to press it easily. There was that urban legend, right? The “Open the door” ghost story. If you don’t open the door, nothing happens and you stay safe, but if you open it you end up in an irreversible situation. If it was something like that, the moment I accepted the grace my body’s permissions might be transferred and I could be toyed with however the other side wanted.
Maybe I should just leave it alone and think about it. I could at least search on my phone…
[5]
“Huh?”
[4]
“Hey, wait a second—”
[3]
“You son of a bitch! You put a time limit on it?!”
[2]
“What do I do, what do I do?!”
[1]
“Yes! Yes is fine, right?! Yes! I accept, you bastard!”
[Grace has been approved. Reconfiguring into a suitable body.]
Thud.
Huh? The floor suddenly rose up and stuck itself to my cheek. That couldn’t be right. Before I could even register it, I’d already been slammed into the floor? And more importantly—why couldn’t I move my body?!
Whirrr. Click. Clack.
In front of my face-down eyes, the computer case began disassembling itself, then reassembled into a spider made of tangled wires and cables. That was my precious treasure, the one I’d painstakingly bought and assembled part by part as a small luxury in my poor life… and now my computer had been replaced by a mechanical spider.
The mechanical spider clattered as it climbed onto my back.
Kiiiiing.
A circular blade attached to one of the spider’s legs began to spin. It was the cooler I’d bought because I was worried about heat when I built the PC.
“Ughhh… mmph?! Mmmph!”
The mechanical spider that was about to rip open my back must have had some mercy after all—it shoved a piece of mousepad into my mouth.
Squelch!
ZZZZZZT! Hiss—!
Wait, wait! That’s not the slot where you put the graphics card!
Ziiiiing.
It hurt. Had ten minutes passed? Or more? One section of my spine felt empty. I couldn’t tell exactly what had happened to my body, but I could clearly feel that it was no longer the same. If you’re going to do surgery, at least do it cleanly. It had torn my spine apart like it was deboning a fish, and the surrounding area was soaked in blood. My vision, already dyed red, was gradually growing blurrier…
So… sleepy…
Blink… blink…
[Mechassiah blesses you.]
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