What Do You Think God Looks Like?
High-dimensional Laughter #3
"What do you think God looks like?" With as many people as there are on Earth, countless forms of divinity come to mind. Gods that resemble humans, gods shaped like monsters, gods beyond human comprehension, gods that look like spaghetti, and so on. God is everything.
"Aaaaaah—! Children, kneel. Why do you still walk with your heads held so high? My little lambs, cry out for me even more desperately. I, too, wish to save you. Everything lies within the palm of my hand."
Countless voices echo across Seoul. Those who had climbed to rooftops, caught in the clown clouds and ready to jump, squint as powerful sunlight pierces through the clouds. In that blinding radiance, they see something in human form gazing down upon them and fall to their knees, weeping.
When those entangled in unicycles and amusement park rides can no longer bear the pain and attempt suicide, a wrinkled hand reaches out to stop them. A gentle touch brushes their faces, and one by one they lose consciousness and vanish.
Reports spread of a bizarre god wielding a holy spear against the laughing sun. The ground caves in, swallowing buildings whole, only to spit people back out like watermelon seeds. A colossal Buddha is seen sinking in the Han River, swimming upstream. Balloons and fireworks wrapped around the tallest skyscraper are plucked away by a black-stone giant.
God is everything. Earth Religion Studies I is everything.
—Child. What does His true form, His true body, look like?
The answer is everything. The gods of monotheistic religions, the deities of polytheism, local spirits and folk gods alike—all of them are part of Him. Countless arms stretch from His hunched back, each holding sacred relics of every faith, governing the beliefs of Earth. His lower body, seated in half-lotus position and made of an unknown substance, is wrapped in white cloth. His upper body contains the Milky Way as seen from Earth. The neck connecting head to torso resembles that of a dragon. A Buddha's mask covers His head, and through the slight gap, crimson light slowly scans the planet.
Kugugugu… A massive shadow centered on Seoul begins to engulf the Earth. God is everything, and everything is part of God. As His proxy, I read the book that is His avatar and conveyed His will in His place.
"O entity who governs laughter, I acknowledge your existence. However, I will not permit your rampage here on Earth."
Blinding white light erupts from Earth Religion Studies I. Chwarurururuk! Pages of every color begin to cover the traces of High-dimensional Laughter that had been gnawing at the world. The light, felt indirectly, is searing yet warm. Soon the circus tents blanketing Seoul and other major cities ignite and burn away in its radiance.
"Laughter is necessary. But laughter that strips away reason and cognition is not yet something humanity requires."
With that declaration, I begin extinguishing His administrators scattered across the city one by one. By then, the entity seems to have noticed something is wrong. The administrators still partially unaffected by Jijong gather and begin merging into a single colossal clown. At the same time, its laughter pierces directly into my mind.
Kkalkkalkkal…
"Hmph."
But I am no fool who falls for the same trick twice. Scratch. Scratch. I open Jijong and begin writing reality around me into the ancient tome—including my own current state. I am consumed by an anger that will not allow laughter, and its target is High-dimensional Laughter.
Scratch. Scratch.
"Huu, uuuu…!"
As I write reality, fury that drowns out the laughter begins to boil within me. I stomp my feet in midair, producing sharp taps. I want nothing more than to strike the entity with this book right now. Yet it is not here.
"Heh. Heh."
Instead, there is a way to reach its true body. I follow the method the vanished Anomaly Management Bureau agents used moments ago. I slowly descend and head toward the Bureau building. Though many employees have disappeared, some remain. Most of them kneel, overwhelmed by waves of faith triggered by the Jijong in the sky, and have lost consciousness.
I approach one of them and extract information through writing.
"…An elevator urban legend that leads to another world? So that's what they used."
No wonder there were far more elevators than the building's size would suggest. They must have harnessed another anomaly—an urban legend—to handle anomalies. The method is the usual one spread across the internet: press a specific sequence of floors. Then I add the coordinates of the dimension where the true body of High-dimensional Laughter resides, as discovered by the research division.
"They turned coordinates that can't be expressed in numbers into numbers. How do they even figure these things out?"
After inputting the final complex sequence, the elevator lets out a roar and begins plummeting endlessly. I feel the sensation of freefall, close my eyes while holding Jijong, and wait for arrival. Moments later, when I sense the elevator around me has completely vanished and open my eyes… a massive tesseract-shaped amusement park is charging straight at me.
* * *
I once watched a movie about space. In it, the protagonist enters a black hole and discovers four-dimensional space. At first, approaching what he thinks is a shining planet, he gradually realizes it is an infinite array of similar spaces connected endlessly. The scene unfolding before me now is exactly that. From ordinary amusement rides found on Earth to machines and creatures whose purpose and nature are incomprehensible, the entire space looks like a compressed realm built solely for laughter. Rides filling every direction—above, below, all around. If I were younger and my mind a little more childish, I might have called it a wonderland. Of course, the spectacle and reality are vastly different.
—Aaaaaagh!!
From far away come the screams of Bureau agents caught in the rides. At the same time, a distant roar echoes as if part of the space itself is collapsing. The Anomaly Processing Headquarters' operation must be underway.
"…So it really is here."
Kkalkkalkkal… The distinctive laughter of High-dimensional Laughter rings clearly from every corner of the space. Like a lost-child announcement in an amusement park, the sound does not echo inside my head but travels through surrounding loudspeakers.
—Mmm! So they guided you to our home. Welcome!
Instead of laughter, the entity's voice booms through the speakers. Even after Jijong has stripped away much of its influence, it remains relaxed.
'If laughter is a concept that spreads like a virus, then it's because I failed to completely eradicate that virus that it's still so at ease.'
Even with Jijong's power, it is impossible to instill faith in every human and living being on Earth. Thus, there are still those on the planet who remain caught in laughter. Given time, they will spread it again, increasing the entity's influence once more.
"You've caused far too much trouble."
—Oh my! I'm sorry! Kkalkkalkkal… I would love to soothe that anger of yours with my laughter!
At the same time, a powerful gust of laughter blasts toward me. I wave Jijong and dispel the wind.
"Jijong, can you still use your power here?"
Flutter… Jijong sends a negative signal. As expected, outside Earth its limits are apparent. Besides, even if it could exert power, this tesseract amusement park contains almost no Earth life, so its influence would be diminished anyway. Still, it doesn't matter much now. Jijong has already done everything it needed to do.
Kugugung…
"You don't care that people are destroying your house?"
—VIPs are you, after all!! Someone bearing the trace of a Transcendent is the greatest guest imaginable!!
"…Transcendent?"
What is a Transcendent? I've never heard the term. I pull out a quill to write it into the ancient tome, but something strange happens.
'Huh…? Why won't it write?'
The ink refuses to form letters, as though it has dried. This has never happened before, so I can't help but feel flustered.
"…Well, it isn't important right now."
Stopping High-dimensional Laughter takes priority. Fortunately, information about this space writes without issue.
Kkigigik… Kkalkkalkkal…
Clockwork dolls and organic rides approach from all sides. Scratch. Scratch.
"Alright. Let's give it a try."
Yet they suddenly turn and flee as if something has gone wrong with them.
—……? Haha!! What an amusing ability!
"Thanks for the compliment."
I still have writing, but I also possess several torn pages left behind by other books—pages whose contents should still work here.
"Since this isn't Earth, I can write without holding back."
I scatter two or three torn pages into the air. At the same time, I begin endlessly absorbing information about this space through writing.
Now then—which will be faster? Me completely understanding your information, or you stopping me? Let's find out.