Laugh Encyclopedia (5): The World Laughs in Madness
A hot air balloon woven from human skin floated into the sky, clutching a balloon in patchwork leather hands as it drifted about. Elephant whistles clamped in people's mouths blared beyond their limits, rupturing eardrums all around. Clown clouds leered absurdly over the city, while far off, meteorological phenomena made it seem as though the sun and moon themselves were smiling.
In the midst of it all, in one corner of downtown, those who had regained their senses were heading somewhere.
Screeech!
"Ignore the rotary! One wrong move and it'll turn into a carousel!"
"Got it!"
Three black vans raced through the heart of the chaos-wracked downtown.
Crackle.
The man in the lead vehicle was relaying the message to the ones behind when the last van got caught in a traffic accident and sucked into the rotary.
"Damn it! Team 3's down! Any survivors?!"
Even as their bodies were mangled, the driver wouldn't stop laughing, sending Team 3's van crashing onto a massive steel pillar in the rotary, where it spun to the tune of merry music.
"Team 3!"
[Cracklecracklecrackle]
"Team 3 all KIA! Press on...!"
They'd already lost several teams. Horrors like this were unfolding across the city.
And it was all because of the anomaly.
The man raked his hair in frustration and activated his terminal.
"Still no update?! Fuck! What the hell is Research Division doing?!"
The city—no, the entire world—was embroiled in anomalies, yet the reports they needed from Research Division weren't updating. Without intel, they couldn't decide whether to abandon or reclaim the situation.
"Captain, Research just posted an update. Over half the bureau's personnel are caught in this anomaly disaster."
"What?! Sigh..."
Thump!
His team member gripped the wheel, now numbly crushing roadside corpses as he drove on.
"Whew... Main Control Center?"
"No response. Seems they've initiated lockdown protocols internally."
"Sigh... Ahhh!! We can't just die like this!"
The Anomaly Management Bureau housed countless anomalies and people. In emergencies like this, to prevent further spread, Main Control Center would seal itself off, barring outsiders. All entrances linked to the center were likely blocked too.
But that didn't mean they'd abandoned the remaining staff. The lockdown was also a self-destruct measure if the center itself was threatened.
...And odds were, inside Main Control Center was no different from this city.
"What the hell is this insane anomaly...?"
No place on Earth was untouched by this "laughter." Reports even confirmed that staff dispatched to space, the moon, Mars—everywhere—were affected. Effectively, all of humanity was under assault from a single anomaly.
A scale like this meant only one thing.
Threat Level: World Annihilation
Management Level: Impossible
The warning screen bathing the captain's terminal in red had been flashing since earlier, announcing the issuance of the WA Scenario.
"So, what do you think our Space Development team can even do?"
"...No idea, sir."
Captain of Anomaly Pioneer Division's Space Development Department Team 1 let out a deep sigh.
Including the recently lost Team 3, their three teams had been working on turning a newly decontaminated anomalous space into something useful. But they'd stepped out for a break, and this madness had erupted.
They were field workers, not frontline combatants risking their lives. Protocols existed, but they lacked experience for a crisis like this.
"...What about our Division Chief? Honestly, just being near her makes you feel safe."
"...No contact."
"Fuck."
She was a bit... odd as a boss. But as an ally, no one was more reliable. Very odd, but strong.
Extremely odd, but...
"...She's probably fine somewhere. And with the Multidimensional Observatory or the various apocalypse prevention protocol teams out there, we've gotta trust it'll be okay."
Worrying about the Pioneer Division Chief's survival was the most pointless thing in the world.
As they fled the city, the captain sensed something and urgently called to his driving subordinate.
"Hey! Stop! Over there! Something's off that way!"
"Pardon? What do you—"
"There! No laughter sounds from that direction! That fucking aura blanketing the city—it's absent there!"
The spot he pointed to was an ordinary cluster of shops and houses.
"Head that way. Better than aimlessly driving around like this."
He relayed the order to Team 2 following behind, eyes fixed on the strangely serene area.
Drip drip.
"...Huh? What the—sudden nosebleed."
Hehehehe...
"Captain, you okay?"
"Huh? Yeah... I'm fi—"
"Nooo!! How can you say you're fine with blood pouring from your nose! Hahahaha!!"
"...What? Mmph."
Gush!
The subordinate who'd been calm moments ago started cackling wildly, yanking the wheel. Before the captain could react, he vomited blood.
"Cough...!"
"Aha! Aha! Ahahahaha!! We can't let her make contact!!"
Vroooom!!
"You bastard, snap out of it...!"
The anomaly had claimed them. But the captain couldn't stop his rampaging driver—his own blood was surging inside him, desperate to spew from mouth and nose.
Gurgle.
Half his words drowned in phlegm, but he refused to give up, hoisting the radio with effort.
He called Team 2 behind them, but...
[Hehehehe...]
Only explosive laughter answered from Team 2.
Screeech!! Boom!!
The captain failed to rein in his berserk subordinate, smashing into a streetlamp at 200 km/h.
Moments later, at the site of Team 1 and 2's total annihilation, the corpses—including the captain's—twitched about, scanning their surroundings before collapsing.
.
.
.
"...Andre, this way! Not much farther!"
"I got it, so slow down, Veronica...! Damn! Anomaly Management Bureau—these guys are all radio silent!"
"Oh, Lord!"
"Veronicaaa!!"
A few minutes later, as the man and woman passed by, Team 1's captain and the Space Development staff were just ordinary corpses.
* * *
Scritch. Scritch.
"Mm, this should do it."
Flutter.
Using the holy relic Jijong had brought, I fixed the surrounding environment on a larger scale than before, anchoring it to reality. The area, warping in real-time, returned to normal.
Of course, only the real-time distortion had stopped—the dead stayed dead, and mutated buildings unchanged. Roughly the size of a large apartment complex.
Enough to summon the next "administrator."
Flutter. Flutter.
"...Yeah, I feel it too."
Several presences nearby watched me with eerie gazes. Probably people possessed by administrators.
"Thought they'd come right away, but they're cowards, huh...?"
Flutter. Flutter.
Soon, I realized their intent. They were ignoring me, trying to undo my expanded zone.
A few on unicycles gnawed at the edges, propagating laughter.
"Ugh... playing dirty, huh...?"
I'd wanted a clean one-on-one, but this was petty. No laughing matter at all.
"Ahem... Jijong, can you manipulate those administrators through your faith?"
The unicycle administrators were innocents, essentially kidnapped. If any believed, maybe Jijong could command them?
Flutter...?
Flutter!
"Knew you could when it counts."
Satisfied with Jijong's surprised reaction, I opened him and read aloud to the restoring administrators.
"Poor children, why do you bow your heads in silence and dig despair when your father has come? Come forth and lift your faces."
Some administrators twitched at the merciful words, dropping their juggling pins and pedaling frantically toward me.
Seemed to work—until their bodies swelled rapidly.
"Hehehehe..."
Like culling the weak, they burst in seconds.
...Failure.
Flutter.
Flutter flutter.
"...Mm, not your fault. Overlapping domains, huh? News to me."
As the name implied, Jijong wielded power over Earth's religions. But the pastor and congregants' agony, and the approaching administrators' explosions? The enemy's influence slightly evaded religious domains.
"Faith and emotion are different...?"
The fallen pastor sprang up, replying.
"Correct. Laughter exists even in holiness. Even in despair and sorrow!"
A mask now covered the pastor's face. Matching the one worn by those two prior library visitors.
"Greetings, Librarian. You seemed so eager to see me, I set aside others' fun to visit."
"...What are you?"
"I am laughter. Also Laugh Encyclopedia, administrator, 'Laughter Earth,' 'Laughter Moon,' 'Laughter Sun,' 'Laughter Galaxy,' 'Laughter Dimension,' and so on."
"...So, a transcendent being?"
"Yes. I am an emotion wandering dimensional cracks before Earth, before humanity!"
Hehehehe...
One by one, nearby congregants rose like puppets in a play, laughing limply.
"Targeting Earth on purpose, then?"
"Earth! Beautiful planet. Why would I target it? I merely laughed, and they heard."
His voice flipped between formal and casual.
Flutter...!
"Hold on, Jijong. So, you made this mess for fun?"
"Yaaawn... Too many questions! Enjoy the unknown thrill! Want to find me? I'll wait. But can you? Exciting!"
The pastor waved cartoonishly at me.
Then, the swelling congregants and pastor charged.
"...Hmm."
Flutter.
Flutter!
As Jijong raged to subdue them again—
"Oh Lord! A little girl here! Andre!"
"Got it!"
Bang! Bang! Slash!
A Western man and woman appeared suddenly, mowing down the pastor and congregants with gun and sword.
"Phew... You okay, girl? This place is dangerous. Must've been scary, huh?"
The nun-like woman approached, embracing me with compassionate eyes.
...Huh?