Chapter 61
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 61
Chapter Title: Countess, Bella Sodders (4)
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By the time about half the air in my lungs had escaped, I held my breath.
Closing one eye, I focused my mind.
Careful not to let my hands shake, I aligned the sights on the fox across from me.
Very slowly, making sure the barrel didn't waver... I slipped my finger into the trigger guard.
Feeling only my finger move, I carefully pulled the trigger.
The sharp "Bang!" of the gunshot echoed through the quiet forest, and one fox tumbled down.
Staining the pristine white snow with red blood, the fox let out a final gurgle like a death rattle before dying.
"...Whew."
Only then did I relax, drawing in the breath I'd been holding. The cold air filled my lungs, bringing a refreshing sensation.
I stroked my horse a few times as it snorted excitedly at the gunshot, then dismounted and approached the fox.
"...Sorry."
Looking at the fox that had died for my hobby, I felt a twinge of guilt.
Hunting is one of my few pastimes. It helps soothe my complicated thoughts a great deal.
When I'm hunting, I'm neither the countess nor the woman who had exceptional magical talent but couldn't fulfill that dream.
Here, I'm just a hunter.
In the hunting grounds, I can focus solely on the prey, which puts me in a good mood.
I can forget all my miscellaneous worries while hunting.
The thrill of a successful hunt even washes away the small anxieties that have recently cropped up in my heart.
...Yes. I've developed a serious worry.
"...Lian..."
I no longer know how to treat that child.
Time spent with Lian is becoming more and more enjoyable.
I should resent him, surely... Lian has always been an obstacle in my life.
If only Lian hadn't been born, if he didn't exist... at least I could have gotten divorced.
With his birth, my life as a mage came to an end.
But, ah... why does Lian's success fill me with such pride?
I want to see him grow. I want him to surpass me in magic.
...I want Lian to achieve the dream I couldn't.
The old me would have scorned it as cowardly escapism.
Dedicating my life to someone else fulfilling my unachieved dreams.
Magic lessons that I used to go through mechanically now had me preparing diligently every day.
'Why have I changed like this...?'
If that were all, it wouldn't even be worth worrying over.
"...This is strange."
I could just chalk it up to belated maternal instinct. It's not weird for a mother to take pride in her son's achievements, right?
It's not a negative change deserving condemnation.
The problem is... my feelings are veering into slightly dangerous territory.
There's definitely a dangerous desire mixed into the way Lian looks at me.
He secretly follows me in his spare time and treats me so kindly it's almost burdensome.
...I can feel that he likes me as more than a mother.
As a proper noblewoman, I can't accept such twisted desires.
If we're in the middle of magic lessons, fine, but even normally, I sense him looking at me with lustful eyes.
Dark red desire flickering like he's gazing at a ripe fruit, not his mother.
...And for some reason, that gaze from Lian doesn't feel unpleasant.
Is my belated maternal love just growing too strong? Even when Lian's behavior clearly goes astray, I keep missing the chance to scold him.
"...Haa..."
My sigh meets the cold air, forming a white puff. To resolve this chest-tightening worry, I mounted my horse again to chase the next prey.
A few minutes of riding brought a herd of deer into view.
Mindful of the wind direction to keep my scent from reaching them, I slowly approached the deer.
Bang!
Just like before, the bullet pierced the target's heart.
The deer, struck in a vital spot, staggered a few steps before collapsing sideways.
"...Excellent."
It was a stag with impressive antlers. Its fur was soft and smooth to the touch, feeling wonderful.
As I used Telekinesis to load the stag, whose warmth was fading, onto the back of my saddle...
"Grrrrr..."
Fierce wolves with white fur had silently surrounded me.
Their grotesquely protruding muzzles dripped filthy saliva, baring sharp fangs.
It was utterly terrifying. With my level of magic, I could easily dispatch wolves, but those savage beasts instinctively filled me with fear.
"...Back off."
I menaced them with fiery will-o'-the-wisps from my fingers while backing away to put distance between us.
"Back off!" Ignoring my warning, the lead wolf lunged, so I hurled one of the will-o'-the-wisps at it.
"Kyeng! Grrrrr!" A pattern etched on the wolf's flank glowed brightly, absorbing most of my will-o'-the-wisp.
Taking only minor burns at the corner of its mouth, the wolf growled even more menacingly, as if furious.
These weren't ordinary wolves.
"Back off...! I said back off...!"
Panicking and startled, my mana wouldn't obey me.
Though magic was familiar, I had no experience in real combat. Even spells I succeeded at easily normally kept failing.
Finally managing a few simple will-o'-the-wisps, I flung fireballs wildly while fleeing, only to trip over a tree root and fall.
"Grrrrr...!"
'No... dying to wolves of all things...?'
As a wolf closed in right before me, opening its scorched, filthy maw...
A heavy stone flew in at high speed, smashing into the wolf's head.
"Kyeng!"
The dazed wolf's head was severed from its body by a hefty longsword.
"Are you alright, Mother?"
Lian, my son Lian, had saved me from the wolves.
"...Lian? How... how are you here...?"
"...It's dangerous, so please step back for now."
With those words, Lian sent me to safety.
'Since when... has he wielded a sword like that...?'
The Lian I remembered had little talent for swordsmanship or magic, but his growth over these few months was dazzling.
When he first said he could learn both magic and swordsmanship at that age, I'd dismissed it as youthful arrogance... but he truly was remarkable.
Really, Lian over these past few months seemed like a completely different person.
Skilfully using the Telekinesis I'd taught him in combat, Lian dispatched all the wolves in no time.
"...It seems safe now."
As Lian said, the wolves were all dead or fled.
"...How did you find me here, Lian?"
This was supposed to be a secret hunt to relieve stress, without telling anyone...
"Well, uh, you see..." Lian trailed off, looking embarrassed.
"Hee-hee, Lian... didn't I tell you not to follow me?" Looks like he'd tailed me secretly again today.
"That is, um... sorry, Mother." Lian gave an awkward chuckle.
"...Still, thank you, Lian."
I smiled brightly and expressed my gratitude. Without him, the cold corpse in the snow might have been mine instead of the wolves'.
My horse had bolted in fright and was gone. So, I had to ride back with Lian.
I clung tightly to Lian's waist to keep from falling off.
Pressed right against his back, I could feel his body heat.
'So warm...'
I'd noticed in the forest earlier, but Lian's back was incredibly broad.
Holding him like this made me feel tremendously secure.
Maybe because of the wolves, my heart kept pounding.
...Pounding faster than when we encountered them, enough that I might mistake it for beating because of Lian.
I could feel the muscles in Lian's back flexing. My hands around his waist brushed his firm abs with every movement of the horse.
'Is Lian's heart racing too?'
This isn't right, yet I keep unconsciously seeing him as a man.
I need to resolve this worry, but it's only deepening.
"Thank you, Lian."
As soon as we reached the estate, I thanked him again and hurried to my room like I was fleeing.
Staying with Lian longer might bring more strange thoughts.
My heart racing wildly, constantly blushing. It felt like my head was messed up.
"Haa... what am I doing... Bella..."
It's shameful for the Meriere family. This bizarre feeling I can't tell anyone...
To kill off these wicked emotions trying to grow, I took a hot shower to calm my mind.
In the shower room, my private space where no one could enter, washing alone usually let me forget most problems.
But today... I kept fixating on the fact that this was 'my space alone'.
With the water pouring down like this, no other minor sounds would carry outside, right?
"...Lian."
Under the hot spray, strange thoughts kept surfacing.
Thoughts of easing my son's dangerous desires, even just a little.
Of course, it's absolutely something that shouldn't happen, mustn't happen... but it's just imagination, right?
Just fantasizing for a moment doesn't hurt anyone...
So, this isn't bad...♥
Imagining my son's body while directing the water jet to my privates... maybe that's okay...♥
Groping my reflection in the mirror, pretending it's my son touching me... that's not so bad...♥
They're all bad thoughts that'll wash away with the water when the shower ends...
Just for a little while...♥
"Lian...♥ Lian...♥ Lian...♥"
Fortunately, the lewd squelching sounds were drowned out by the rushing water.
Quietly calling his name, I gazed at my reflection in the mirror.
'Lian... would like this...♥'
I'll just say that day's shower was unusually long.
Too many details would be a bit embarrassing...♥
My worries ended up not resolved at all, only worsening...♥