10. Demon in a Bottle (26)
10. Demon in a Bottle (26)
I was sitting alone in the rest lounge, quietly congratulating myself on having gotten through the lecture without incident, when Karen burst in.
She marched straight up to me and thrust something into my hands.
A partner invitation card for this year's Freshmen Welcome Party.
The name written on the inviter's line was Maya's.
"Why do you have Miss Maya's invitation...?"
She caught her breath, then let loose a flood of words.
"Because watching from the sidelines was driving me crazy, that's why. Do you have any idea how much Maya wanted to go with you? Please, just this once, do something kind for her! You dote on Ella and fuss over her endlessly... And I heard you even looked after Reina earlier today. So why are you so cold to Maya?"
It came out of nowhere.
But her last words lodged in my ears.
I'd been cold to Maya?
I turned it over. Perhaps she wasn't wrong.
I knew Maya valued her independence, so I'd never gone out of my way to give her more attention than any other troupe member. I understood she would only find it tiresome.
Yet if Karen's account was accurate, it meant Maya had been quietly wounded by it all along.
"Has Miss Maya opened up to you about this?"
"No. Do you really think she's the type? But if you listen to her talk, you can feel it."
"...Is that so?"
I was well aware that the Maya of now still carried an innocence, a childlike quality, that the Maya of two years from now would lack. But she never talked about herself, which made her difficult to read.
Among all the troupe members, she had triggered the fewest Member Quests.
Even Reina and Gaston, who had joined only recently, had overtaken her within days.
It was evidence of how tightly she governed her own heart.
I knew Maya had hoped I would take on the role of a mentor to her.
She had asked me exactly once, around the time she joined the troupe, and I had declined. The truth was, I had nothing left to teach her.
She never made the request again, and no Member Quest ever appeared for it.
But listening to Karen, it seemed she had kept on hoping, privately.
She was still only seventeen.
An age when you need an adult to lean on.
In the original story, Eunmak Arno, the leader of the Silver Screen Circus, had filled that role.
I hadn't.
I'd conflated her future self with her present self and treated her like a fully grown adult.
That was unquestionably my mistake.
I looked at Karen, who was now launching into a passionate monologue about how much prettier Maya was than Ella.
Going this far for someone she'd met so recently — Maya had clearly found a good friend at this school.
But I had my doubts about whether Karen could truly be satisfied staying in the "friend" role.
"So would it be all right if I took Miss Maya as my partner?"
"Of course!"
"Really? But Miss Karen, aren't you fond of Miss Maya yourself?"
At that, Karen's expression tensed for a beat before relaxing again.
"I-I do like her. As a friend, I mean..."
I aimed straight for the heart of it.
"You were about to kiss Miss Maya on the cheek just now, weren't you?"
Her face flooded with alarm.
"H-how did you...?"
"I stepped into the lecture hall about a minute before I spoke to you."
"Ah..."
Her complexion drained.
Her voice shook as she fumbled for words.
"A-are you going... to tell Maya...?"
"That depends on the circumstances. Be honest with me. Are you in love with Miss Maya?"
After a brief hesitation, she opened up.
She'd grown up surrounded by boys. Because of that, she'd developed a strong interest in women. When she first made friends with girls her own age, she'd touched them too freely and gotten branded as "that weird girl," then ostracized. The experience left her afraid of other girls — but with the emotionally subdued Maya, she felt at ease instead.
Listening to her, I wondered what kind of day this was turning into.
First counseling a suicidal youth, and now counseling a teenager wrestling with her own desires.
"Is that the real reason you approached Miss Maya? You've been deceiving her all this time. Your friend."
"I-I know it's wrong... But when you really like someone, people do get cowardly..."
She'd been speaking candidly until now, but the moment the questions tightened, she tried to shift ground.
"The invitation. So... you won't accept it?"
"Miss Karen."
"Isn't she better than Ella?"
I didn't answer. I simply gazed at her in silence.
She let out a deep sigh and looked away.
"To be honest... I like men like you, Troupe Leader. As a woman."
Just then, a crash sounded from outside — something collapsing.
I opened the door and swept my eyes over the lecture hall.
Nobody was there.
It must have been the equipment stacked in the corner of the stage toppling over.
I shut the door and returned to the room.
Karen had waited patiently and continued the moment I sat back down.
"But feminine things keep making my heart race, too. Is something wrong with me?"
I reviewed everything she'd told me, weighing the pieces together.
Based on what I knew, it was far more likely that she didn't desire women so much as she felt curiosity and longing toward femininity — something she'd never been able to experience while growing up.
When I shared my conclusion, Karen nodded, seeming satisfied.
"Is that so?"
"But I take it you don't make a habit of sneaking kisses while people sleep. If your lips had touched Miss Maya's cheek earlier, I would have subdued you on the spot."
"Urk. I-I'm s-sorry about that... Still, I didn't actually do it, you know..."
"That was the right call."
Our eyes met, and we both burst out laughing.
"Thanks to you, I think I'll be able to act more naturally around Maya from now on. Thank you."
"I'm the one who should be thanking you. I've been forced to recognize that I failed to understand how Miss Maya really felt."
"Will you accept Maya's invitation, then?"
"If Miss Maya gives it to me herself."
I handed the invitation back to Karen.
She took it with a small, bashful smile.
"I ought to get going. Dagger-throwing practice, remember."
"Oh, I'll come in a little while. I need to wash up..."
Her face was a mess of cold sweat and dried tears.
I nodded to her and left the room.
***
Today was the assessment day for the introductory dagger-throwing course.
Students were called up by their assigned numbers to complete the test, while those still waiting used the time for a few final minutes of practice at the back.
Maya, however, wasn't practicing. She sat on a bench, apart from the others.
The other students assumed someone of her skill level simply didn't need the extra work.
That was a misunderstanding.
She had no room for practice right now.
Every ounce of her concentration was bent on suppressing magic power that was trying to rampage out of control.
The Papilax she had thought she'd overcome had surged back to seize her again.
That was how deeply Karen's confession had shaken her.
Karen had been secretly in love with the Troupe Leader all along — and her approach to Maya had been calculated from the start?
Fury and betrayal churned inside Maya.
Friend? A friend?
The gravel around her trembled against the dirt.
No. She couldn't let her emotions take control.
She steadied her breathing, meditated, and gathered up the raw edges of her feelings.
She had barely managed to calm her magic when a familiar voice pulled her back to the surface.
"Maya-a-a-a! Been waiting long?"
Karen came running over, breathless, from across the training yard.
She dropped her bag on the ground and plopped down right next to her.
"You're late."
Maya hadn't known her own voice could sound so parched, so cold.
Was this what people meant when they described her that way?
"Uh, the bathroom! I had to go to the bathroom..."
"...Really."
Something about her friend's voice felt chillier than usual. Karen's eyes caught the small package in Maya's hand — a box of sweets stamped with the phrase, A gift for your friendship!
Her mouth fell open.
"Wait, don't tell me you bought that for me?"
Maya looked directly at her.
That clueless, innocent smile.
The sheer nerve of it sent revulsion surging through Maya.
"Karen."
"Yeah?"
"Get lost."
"...Huh?"
Karen blinked.
Her face said she wasn't sure she'd heard right.
Maya drove it home.
"I said get lost."
"...Wh-what...?"
Now Karen understood.
This wasn't like her usual "go away" or "don't stick to me." This was something else entirely.
"Wh-why are you suddenly...?"
Instead of answering, Maya flung the friendship chocolates to the ground.
She reached out a hand, and an invisible force crushed the box utterly.
"Stay away from me."
Her voice was ice, but her face hadn't changed at all.
That was what made her skin crawl.
She was unmistakably furious, yet she showed almost no trace of it.
At the abrupt transformation, a terrible premonition flickered through Karen's mind.
"D-did the Troupe Leader tell you?"
Maya wanted to say yes. Wanted to let her taste betrayal. Wanted her to feel what it was like to be stabbed in the back by the Troupe Leader she admired so much.
But she corrected herself before the words left her mouth.
She wouldn't tarnish her teacher's honor.
"No. I overheard you outside."
"Ah..."
Karen felt the world tilt.
Maya had heard all of it? That Karen's heart had raced seeing her body in the changing room? That she'd felt the impulse to press her lips to Maya's cheek while she slept?
Her childhood trauma came roaring back.
When she was young and knew no better, she had squeezed her female friends' chests and groped between their legs. She'd been curious, that was all. Those were things the boys around her didn't have.
She'd assumed that even if it was out of bounds between boys and girls, between two girls it would be fine — they had the same parts, after all.
That had been her mistake.
The girls she'd been close to had despised her for it and cut her out.
And now Maya had found out. About that strange side of her. She would have heard everything Karen had confessed about her past just now.
"I-I'm sorry... for lying to you... I thought since you were different from the others, it'd be okay..."
At those words, something inside Maya snapped.
Different from the others, so it's okay?
That was one of the few things she could not tolerate.
Ever since she was little, because she showed no emotion and her expression never shifted, the people around her had treated her like some kind of psychopath or freak who felt nothing. Some had prodded at her emotional limits, testing her moral boundaries on purpose.
'She's different from the other kids, so it doesn't matter.'
What Karen had just said was exactly the same as what those people had done.
Maya poured every scrap of her feelings into her voice and spoke from the heart.
"You are the most disgusting person I have ever met."
Her words and her eyes both carried a revulsion Karen had never seen before.
Karen reeled, but she didn't let it show.
She repeated to herself: she wasn't the victim. She was the one who'd done wrong.
I don't get to be hurt.
I'm the one who lied and tricked my way close to her. I'm the one at fault.
She lowered her head in resignation.
"...I'm sorry, Maya. I won't make you uncomfortable ever again."
She turned and ran from the practice yard.
She tried to steady herself, but she couldn't stop the tears.
I finally thought I'd made a girl friend...
Karen's swallowed words scattered behind her as she fled.
I thought maybe, finally, I could have a real friend...
And Maya's wounded words circled inside her own mouth, unspoken, as the crushed friendship chocolates crumbled into dust and blew away.
Across the canvas of Maya's mind, black ink spread outward. Darker than before.