Lipsberg University of Technology
“Our goddess is dead. Today, maybe yesterday.”
I doubted the scene before my eyes was real.
The moment I saw the words painted in huge letters on one wall of the mechanical engineering building, a cough escaped me; and when I noticed the crowd gathered below it, snapping photos and gawking, heat rushed to my face.
What the hell happened first thing in the morning—
“Hey, isn’t that the mechanical engineering girl?”
All at once, a finger pointed at me.
Several of the gazes that had been turned elsewhere swung my way, and then those people looked at one another and began whispering.
“No, seriously, what is this?”
Was it really okay for one person to make this much of a spectacle…?
My muttered complaint was immediately swallowed by the green-haired girl who came bustling over to me—Liesel.
So, this all probably started with—
▼
I heard footsteps. A plate tilted and clinked softly, and birds shrieked before beating their wings and scattering into the air.
I opened my eyes to slits.
The color of the ceiling, still blurred by sleep, hovered somewhere between blue and orange.
I tried to move my right arm, then realized it wasn’t listening, so I pressed my left hand to my forehead instead.
My head didn’t seem ready to accept the morning yet. The back of my head, buried in the pillow, showed no intention of letting go.
Has the alarm not gone off yet?
I let out a quiet sigh.
Gradually, my senses returned and dragged my mind awake. The air against my skin was cold, and the breeze grazing the tip of my nose was faintly damp.
Probably the mist rising from the river had reached the dormitory.
Thinking that, I moved my eyes slowly. The comfort behind my narrow back kept trying to pull my consciousness under again, and my awareness swung there sluggishly, back and forth, like a pendulum.
I’d grown used to this pattern.
The sound of the living room light switch being flipped on.
The bedroom door opening a crack, and a shaft of light spilling into the faintly lit dawn room.
“Tina, are you up?”
When I turned my head a little from the pillow, a face overflowing with innocence came into view.
Under bangs the color of a pale meadow, eyes like a clear, cool sea blinked at me. Even after a week of living together, Liesel’s bright, easy smile still felt fresh.
As always, I thought of another girl who wore a smile too, except hers was the kind that came with terrifying things to say—the golden-haired girl.
Wouldn’t it be nice if even the professor were as friendly as she is?
Footsteps drew closer, and the green-haired girl drifted toward me with a swaying, almost playful gait. Her tail behind her was restless.
“You are awake, right?”
Liesel bent slightly toward me.
Her slippers exposed all her toes, and the long line of her legs disappeared beneath dolphin shorts. A loose T-shirt draped over the shorts and covered them just enough.
Without meaning to, my eyes drifted toward the area below Liesel’s neck—toward her collarbone—before I caught myself.
I hid my embarrassment and looked back up at the ceiling.
Of course, the alarm still wasn’t scheduled to ring yet. When I checked the window the AI had already popped up for me, I saw that there were still ten minutes left.
So.
“Ten more minutes.”
My voice was thick with sleep. I closed my eyes again.
You could probably criticize me for being lazy, but this was the first time in ages I’d been able to sleep peacefully and without hurry.
Back in the old world, when had I ever slept this easily? My memory was hazy, blurred.
Back then, sleeping had meant pushing myself until I could no longer stand it, and then finally closing my eyes.
Anxiety, pressure, and compulsion had clung to the back of a person’s neck like tar. Sleep had always come with cold sweats, and waking had always come with a sticky exhaustion I couldn’t scrape off.
That was the kind of world it had been. In that world, there was no such thing as comfort.
So the conclusion was simple: I wanted to sleep more. I shut my eyes and rolled my body a little.
“Since you’re up, let’s eat together, okay?”
“I said ten more minutes.”
I didn’t hear her press me again. Had she given up? Just as that thought crossed my mind.
Footsteps moving somewhere away from me.
The friction of a switch being flipped up with a quiet click.
Suddenly, light leaked in between my eyelids. I blocked it with the left arm I’d had pressed to my forehead, but once the eyes had met that sudden brightness, there was no stopping the brain from waking up too.
Damn it, seriously.
“I said ten minutes….”
“Now, now.”
My upper body was hauled up all at once. My tangled hair came with it, sticking up in every direction. I glared at Liesel, indignant, but she only smiled back with unspoiled innocence.
I wanted to snap at her, but when I imagined throwing a fit in front of a face like that, I felt as if I’d only end up more embarrassed than she was. So I stopped myself.
What came out instead was little more than a resentful groan.
With my upper body propped up, I turned around and swung my legs out of bed, then slipped on my slippers.
“Want me to help you wash up?”
“You’d come in even if I said no, anyway.”
I didn’t show it, but honestly, I did hate it.
Every time someone’s hands touched me, the sense of wrongness I’d worked so hard to bury sprang vividly back to life.
Along the path of those hands, the curves of my body became painfully real through touch; I felt my own body’s warmth thinning under the heat of someone else’s, and every time I met another person’s gaze, the changed shape of me reflected there in their eyes.
I hated that.
Even knowing there was nothing I could do about it.
It would probably take a long time before I got used to it. I stepped into the bathroom and rubbed my eyes, which still felt a little scratchy.
“Should I help from the start?”
“…I can wash my own face, at least.”
What did she take me for, a child?
Even as I grumbled, her innocence didn’t budge.
Was she shameless, or just taking my protests as childish sulking? I doubted she’d answer even if I asked, so I gave up inwardly and turned my head away.
The eyes reflected in the mirror weren’t blue or orange, but the black they used to be.
When I said I didn’t want to draw attention because of my eye color, the professor had taught me a spell. It was simple, and it didn’t cause any side effects even if I kept it up all day.
Even now, the fact that I had to use magic just to hide my eye color felt oddly ticklish.
“Haa.”
After splashing cold water on my face a few times, my mind snapped back into place.
The right arm of the girl reflected in the mirror still wouldn’t move.
For something I’d wondered whether it was even truly healing, whether it could return to normal, it had recovered almost unnervingly cleanly—but only that much.
The stiff shape of the arm still felt awkward. I stared at it for a while, then finally threw one last splash of cold water over my face.
“Done? If you’re okay now, I’ll help you wash your hair.”
“Hah, fine.”
At last, that soul-crushing moment had arrived.
Green hair reflected in the mirror. The fox ears twitching lazily.
One of Liesel’s hands slipped into the back of my hair, gently working apart the tangled strands. The other hand reached for the faucet and turned the lever a little.
Lukewarm water burst from the showerhead, and a slight pressure from the hand at the back of my head made me lower my face. Warm water soaked my hair, while slender fingers parted through it.
The tips of her fingers scratched lightly at my scalp.
“Wouldn’t it be fine to just shower? I could help with that too.”
“That would not be fine for me.”
It really wouldn’t.
Memories of the ordeal I’d gone through when I’d come back with the professor surfaced in my mind.
I had one arm out of commission, so someone was going to help me wash. Easy enough to say, but it wasn’t easy on my end.
I’d constantly kept my mouth shut, afraid I might say something weird. Every time a hand touched my back in the name of helping, something close to a scream had tried to claw its way out of me. Even if I desperately tried not to look, turning my eyes away, the moment that figure entered the edge of my vision my gaze went right to it, and it was pure misery.
These days I’d developed a kind of routine, so I could wash myself well enough, but that didn’t make it any less uncomfortable.
And now Liesel was volunteering to help too.
I needed to come up with a solution fast.
“Ah!”
Just as I’d drifted into thought, a sudden shriek burst out beside me. Wondering what was wrong, I lifted my head.
“Ah, sorry. I splashed a little too much water.”
Just how much had she splashed? Thinking that, I turned without thinking.
I should have left it alone.
Under her slightly damp green hair, the curves of her body were revealed. Skin beneath the wet T-shirt made its presence known with a soft, unmistakable outline.
I stared blankly at Liesel, who smiled as if she were in a bind, until I realized our eyes had met. The green girl’s smile turned awkward.
I wanted to laugh it off too, but that was strangely difficult.
My lost gaze drifted away from her.
Even after only one glance, the image had burned itself into my mind. In my memory, the accidental glimpse I’d once stolen of the professor’s shape came back to me.
What had I done after I realized it then? Had I squeezed my eyes shut, or had I just run straight out of the bathroom?
It was hard to remember with the heat rushing through me.
Was there really just a whole bundle of screws missing somewhere in my head?
Just as I was about to release a hot, helpless breath—
“...Do you like looking?”
Her single sentence cut across the silence. I slammed my own head into the wall.