Conquest of the Underworld
Gods do not die unless someone kills them.
For that reason alone, a funeral among their kind was an exceedingly rare affair.
"Gugalanna? Why did that guy suddenly die?"
Inanna knew almost nothing about Gugalanna. At best, she recalled that he had been a diligent administrator — a civil servant, essentially — and that he had been Ereshkigal's husband. That was the sum of it.
An had once praised him for his diligence, but his presence was so faint that even the other gods rarely spoke of him. Truth be told, she could barely remember his face.
"From what I hear, he got into a fight with the monsters of the Underworld and, well…"
"Ah."
"A funeral is being held in the Underworld as we speak. I came to ask whether my lady intends to attend and offer her condolences."
"Condolences, my ass. You don't actually think I'm going to go down there just to comfort that widow, do you?"
"Yes. I shall convey as much."
Ninshubur fled the room as if escaping.
"You don't get along with your sister?"
Sunya asked a short while later.
"I can't stand her. Always strutting around like she's something special just because she's Queen of the Underworld. The way she looks down on people — I just want to punch her right in the face!"
"Haha…"
Sunya managed an awkward laugh.
"It seems the Underworld holds more power in this world than I expected."
"It does. Even that arrogant old bastard Enlil shows courtesy to her servants — not even to her, to her servants. Being the ruler of the Underworld isn't something you can just laugh off."
Mid-sentence, a brilliant idea flashed through Inanna's mind.
"That's it! That'll work! Why didn't I think of this sooner?"
"Pardon?"
Watching Inanna snap her fingers, Sunya felt a vague sense of foreboding — the kind of omen that usually preceded a disaster.
"I just had a great idea."
"And this solution of yours is…?"
"It's a se-cret! Just wait a little. Something surprising might happen."
Inanna giggled, wearing the smile of a mischievous child, then turned fully to face Sunya.
"Before I go, give me one more kiss — top and bottom."
Upon returning to the palace, Inanna immediately prepared to go out. She donned a violet dress and adorned herself with a total of six ornaments — bracelets, necklaces, and more — covering her body from head to toe.
"Are you going out, my lady?"
Ninshubur, who had been watching the servants dress Inanna, asked the question. If Inanna were going to see Sunya, she would normally wear less, not more — which was why the question arose.
"I am. Something's come up. I'm heading to the Underworld."
"What? But you clearly said you wouldn't—"
"I was going to. I changed my mind."
"…"
Ninshubur thought little of it. Inanna's whims were nothing new. If anything, she had been unusually well-behaved of late thanks to Sunya, and her temper had softened considerably. These were things only someone who had served at her side for so long would notice.
"You stay here just in case. I'll go alone. If I don't come back on time, tell my father, or Elil, or old man Enki."
"Yes."
Just as she was about to leave the palace, Inanna suddenly recalled something Sunya had said.
Even though we haven't held a ceremony, we are husband and wife. If there's a hardship, I want to overcome it together.
She would have preferred to surprise him with a gift, but he would only worry. She ought to at least give him a hint of where she was going.
"…And tell Sunya that I had something to take care of and went to the Underworld for a bit."
"Yes."
"I'm counting on you, then."
"…"
Ninshubur had not expected Inanna to go so far as to say "I'm counting on you." Realizing that all of this was Sunya's influence left her with a complicated, bittersweet feeling.
Leaving the unsettled Ninshubur behind, Inanna boarded her sky-boat and set off comfortably for the Underworld. She had traveled this path once before with Utu's help, when she went to obtain the Fruit of Knowledge, so she knew the way reasonably well.
The goddess of love and war descended deeper and deeper beneath the earth. Past the depths where no human foot had ever trod, an enormous space finally opened before her.
It was vast enough that several great mountain ranges could have fit inside with room to spare. No sunlight reached this place; only scattered blue flames illuminated the surroundings, making it feel like an entirely different world. The towering walls and sprawling city were larger and more forbidding than any city above — including Dilmun, the land of the gods.
It could not be otherwise. The Underworld had to house countless dead. Humans, with their frail bodies and brief lifespans, rarely lived two hundred years on the surface — but the time they spent in the Underworld was three or four times longer. The sheer population was on another scale entirely.
Flying over the walls… probably won't work, will it?
A transparent barrier of magic rose above the walls. Even a sky-boat could not cross them.
When Inanna brought her sky-boat to a halt before the gates, a nearby gatekeeper spotted her.
"I am Neti, keeper of the First Gate. For what purpose have you come to the Underworld?"
"I am Inanna, daughter of Nanna and Ningal, goddess of love and war. I have heard that the husband of my sister Ereshkigal has entered mourning, and I have come in person to offer my condolences."
Inanna spoke with a presence as fierce as a blaze. Yet true to his station as a gatekeeper of the Underworld, Neti maintained his rigid demeanor even after she declared her identity.
"Sister of our Queen, please wait a moment. I shall inform our Queen of your arrival."
"Tsk. Just open the gate, will you? I already told you who I am."
"Even An, the first King of Gods and lord of the heavens, must abide by the laws of the Underworld while within it."
The gatekeeper's face was grim with resolve — the look of a man prepared to die on the spot rather than let her through.
"…Fine, whatever. Just hurry up and tell your master I'm here."
In the end, it was Inanna who yielded first. Beheading a gatekeeper here would only make things more troublesome, and she knew it.
Neti swiftly sent a messenger to inform Ereshkigal that her sister had come to visit.
"Inanna? That wench came to offer condolences?"
Ereshkigal burst into laughter.
"That little hellion is spouting nonsense that doesn't even make sense."
"Could it be a lie?"
Her servant Namtar asked.
"You know gods can't lie. It's not a lie. But she didn't come all the way down here just for condolences."
"Then…"
"Let her in. But tell her to remove everything she's wearing — one piece at a time."
Who arrives at a funeral dressed so lavishly? Even setting etiquette aside, she was clearly up to something. Most likely the ornaments carried divinity — weapons, or objects of special power. And no sovereign in their right mind would calmly receive an armed visitor while leaving themselves completely exposed.
Not unless they were a complete fool. And Ereshkigal was no fool. Had she been, she could never have reigned as the sole monarch of the Underworld for so long.
"How convenient. Watching that wench cross every gate of the Underworld stark naked will make for a fine spectacle."
Ereshkigal's command reached the gatekeepers before long.
"Has she lost her mind?"
Naturally, Inanna leapt up in fury the moment she heard it, expressing her rage as violently as she could.
"I am merely following orders."
"That widow bitch Ereshkigal, I swear—!!"
She seethed, but nothing changed. In the end, Inanna gave up and handed the bracelet she was wearing to the gatekeeper.
The next gate was the same. And the one after that. At each gate she passed, she surrendered another ornament — a necklace, a tiara, and so on. By the last gate, even her clothes were taken, leaving her completely naked.
Men and women alike among the dead could not help but marvel at the goddess before them. Had they still been living, more than a few would have been drooling. Her naked form was that captivating, that beautiful — and something about it stirred desire.
Ereshkigal! I'm going to kill you!!
Inanna ground her teeth inwardly, of course. There were times she walked about naked of her own accord, but only when her emotions ran so high that she stopped caring who was watching — or when the people present were ones she didn't mind seeing her. Being stripped bare by external force, in front of so many eyes — even if they belonged to the dead — was humiliating.
The only consolation, if it could be called that, was that most of them were dead, so lustful gazes were rare. Still, she had no intention of covering herself and acting bashful like some ordinary girl.
Inanna steadied her turbulent emotions and somehow managed to reach the palace where Ereshkigal resided. She disembarked from her sky-boat, strode boldly into the audience chamber, and came to stand before Ereshkigal.
"It's been a while, little sister."
Ereshkigal's face was full of mockery as she looked upon her younger sibling.
"It's been a while, sister."
Inanna suppressed her feelings and offered a false smile in return.