Chapter 8
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 8
Chapter Title: Morning Chaos
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"Good night, Elma."
"Zzz... Phew..."
She's asleep.
At a time like this?
With her clothes off?
Pants pulled all the way down?
"Elma."
I shook her shoulder.
"Professor. You can't sleep here."
No response.
She was out cold.
"Ha."
I was floored.
Blood sugar spike.
Carb bomb pizza.
Sugar lump cola.
And she'd spent the whole day crying, laughing, and causing a scene.
No wonder post-meal drowsiness hit her hard.
Even the world's greatest scholar couldn't fight basic biology.
"Like a little kid, seriously."
A hollow laugh escaped me.
Where was the seductive temptress from moments ago?
All that remained was a full-bellied child, warm and sleepy.
This vulnerability.
This looseness.
And somehow, it wasn't annoying at all.
"Guess I should move her first."
Sleeping here wasn't right.
She'd catch a cold.
I carefully scooped her up in my arms.
"Mm... Smack... Pizza's yummy..."
Sleep-talking, too.
She's ridiculously cute.
"Where's the bedroom?"
I recalled what Elma had said earlier on the way down.
Follow the wall and it'd appear, or something.
I opened the first door.
Creeeak.
"......"
A storage room.
Piles of parts and blueprints everywhere.
Blueprints spilled out as the door pushed them.
Dust puffed up.
Not here.
Second door.
Rumble! Bang! Boom!
The moment I opened it, a roar poured out.
I jumped back in shock.
"What the hell is this..."
Dim cave interior.
Golems equipped with drills were burrowing into the walls.
[Sector 7 Digging in Progress]
[Magic Stone Reaction Detected]
[Dig Deeper! For Our Great Queen!]
"What on earth are you doing under the school?"
A mining operation.
Motives probably self-serving.
And what's with those banners up there?
<<Fortify the Queen's Bastion of Eternal Loyalty with Unyielding Resolve!>>
<<Wield the Pickaxe as the Sword of Victory to Uphold Her Majesty's Dignity Forever!>>
Turning the school basement into her personal ant colony?
This professor's 'pretend play'.
Way more serious than I thought.
I quietly closed the door.
Cold sweat trickled down.
Better pretend I didn't see this.
Third door.
Finally, a normal one.
The only door with a different color.
Antique high-end solid wood.
A crooked sign hung on one side.
[Newlywed Room (Planned)]
Obviously slapped on in a hurry.
She must've snuck it up while pretending to go to the bathroom.
"This is it."
I carefully opened the door.
A perfect princess room.
Chandelier on the ceiling.
Top-grade handmade carpet on the floor.
Pink wallpaper covering the walls.
I approached the bed.
A lavish bed draped with lace canopy.
But.
"It's small."
Tiny.
Way too tiny.
Custom-made to Elma's height, probably.
By human standards, it was a kid's bed.
No, toddler-sized.
Not nearly big enough for me.
"Haa."
First things first, lay Elma down.
I gently placed her on the bed.
Poof.
Her petite body sank into the mattress.
"Good night, Professor. No, Elma."
As I went to pull up the blanket.
Grab.
A small hand clamped onto my forearm fiercely.
"Mm."
"Elma?"
Her brows furrowed.
Having a nightmare?
"Don't go..."
A whimpering voice.
"Don't leave me... Don't abandon me..."
"......"
A pang hit my chest.
A lonely child seeking comfort.
This might be Elma's true self.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."
I held her hand.
But she wouldn't let go.
She pulled even harder.
"Stay by my side... Husband."
Even in her sleep, she clings to 'husband'.
Now I really can't leave her alone.
But sharing the bed? Size issue.
Impossible here.
"What to do."
Then I remembered the living room floor.
Something I'd seen coming in.
Wolf beast hide rug.
Enormous.
Fluffy fur, plusher than most beds.
"Yeah. That's better."
I picked Elma up again.
"Mmm..."
She nuzzled into my chest with a whine.
"It's okay. Keep sleeping. Just changing beds for a bit."
Back to the living room.
The massive wolf pelt on the floor.
I ran my hand over it.
"Whoa..."
So soft.
So plush.
This must cost a fortune, too.
The head part's kinda gruesome, though.
Rich people's tastes are beyond me.
I lay down on the rug with Elma.
Flop.
"Wow..."
Lying down, it felt even better.
Beast fur gave insane bounce.
Insulation was top-notch.
I set Elma beside me.
Whoosh.
Tiny arms latched on immediately.
They wrapped tightly around my waist.
"So warm..."
She rubbed her cheek against my chest.
A small leg draped over my thigh.
Koala cling position.
Soft skin pressed against me everywhere.
Chest, belly, thighs.
All plush.
"This is tough in its own way."
A naked woman.
Hard enough already, but this texture's heavenly.
And I have to just sleep holding back.
But her peacefully sleeping face.
I couldn't bring myself to touch her.
She looked too content.
Like all worries had vanished.
I sighed and pillowed her head on my arm.
Patted her back.
Rhythmic breathing.
The heater's cozy warmth tickling my face.
Drowsiness washed over me.
Too much had happened today.
Seeing the professor's secrets.
Sudden marriage.
Pizza.
The ant nest under school...
No.
Forget that.
We've come this far.
My eyelids grew heavy as lead.
The warm body in my arms.
It eroded my consciousness like a sedative.
"Good night, Elma."
I lightly kissed the top of her head.
My eyes drifted shut.
The nutty aroma followed me into dreams.
==========================
The next morning.
"Mm."
Light stung my eyes.
The magic stone lamps must've brightened.
Morning setting, maybe.
I shifted my groggy body.
Something heavy weighed on my chest.
'Oh, Elma.'
I remembered.
We slept together last night.
Still not up, huh.
I cracked my eyes open groggily.
Something huge loomed before me.
Black fur.
Sharp fangs.
Gleaming eyes.
A ferocious maw gaped right in my face.
"......?"
Brain freeze.
Still half-asleep, couldn't process.
Just pure terror surged.
A wolf.
A house-sized wolf about to devour me, jaws wide.
"G-Gyaaah!!!"
I screamed.
Flailing, I scrambled up and backpedaled.
"Fuck! What is this?! What the hell!!"
A student cursing in front of his professor.
But there's a man-eating wolf right there!
My scream jolted Elma upright.
"Wh-What?! What's happening? Burglar? Thief? Armed bandits?"
Half-asleep, she summoned a fireball wand.
Swinging flames wildly without even opening her eyes fully.
"Elma! That! That thing!!"
I pointed frantically.
House-sized wolf head.
"Huh?"
Elma rubbed her eyes and looked at the wolf.
Then at me.
Back to the wolf.
Of course, that wolf head was.
Part of the rug we'd slept on.
"......"
"......"
Silence.
"Ah."
Embarrassment flooded in.
Screaming at a taxidermy.
Unfortunately, the fiasco didn't end there.
[Warning! Warning! Intruder Detected!]
[Security Level 1 Activated]
[Deploying Combat Golems]
Weee-ooo!!
Alarm blared.
Red warning lights spun.
My scream got flagged as 'intruder'.
Security system went berserk.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Secret panels in the walls burst open, combat golems pouring out.
[Eliminate Intruder! Protect the Queen!]
[Target Confirmed! Lethal Force Authorized! All Units Weapons Free!]
Dozens of laser pointers locked on my forehead and chest.
I threw my hands up high.
Surrender.
Unconditional surrender.
"Wait! It's me! Your queen's husband!"
"Don't call me queen!!"
Elma shrieked, her dark history flashing back.
"Commence firing!"
"You stop too!! You stupid tin cans!!"
Elma bellowed.
Flailing her arms wildly.
"It's my husband! Touch him and I'll scrap you all for parts!!"
[Command Confirmed. Cease Engagement.]
The golems creaked to a halt.
Menacing gunports sealed one by one.
[Situation Resolved]
The siren died.
Quiet returned.
In the living room center.
A man in boxers and a naked pint-sized dwarf.
Surrounded by dozens of killing machines.
"Haa."
Elma pinched her forehead and sighed.
"So damn noisy from the morning, really."
She then shot me a glare.
"Husband's a scaredy-cat."
"It looks scary, okay."
"It's stuffed."
"Waking up to that face, anyone'd freak."
We looked at each other and burst out snickering.
What a mess.
But.
Her naked body in the morning light.
Freckles scattered across her sleepy, smirking bare face.
Messy twin tails.
All of it.
Irresistibly lovable.
This married life might not be so bad after all.
===================================
After the commotion settled.
"Haa..."
Elma rubbed her dry face and sighed.
From the morning ruckus, sweat soaked her entirely.
"Ugh, so sticky."
"Told you not to sleep unwashed."
"Couldn't help it, sleep hit suddenly."
Plus, crashing right after pizza yesterday.
No wonder she felt grimy.
"Gotta wash up."
"Yeah. I'm sticky too."
"Follow me."
Elma trudged toward the bathroom.
Next to the toilet, a rugged iron door.
Thought it was storage? Nope.
Creeeak.
She opened it.
Steamy heat.
Hot vapor.
"Whoa..."
This is the bathroom?
It's an onsen.
Cave carved from bedrock.
Rough-hewn walls.
Natural vibe intact.
Lamps embedded in ceiling cracks.
Beams cut through the mist.
Gurgle gurgle.
Lion-head statue.
Clear water poured from its open maw.
Sulfurous, humid air.
"A real hot spring?"
"Obviously. Dug to 500 meters underground and hit a water vein."
Elma snorted and grabbed towels.
"Burst while mining magic stones, water was clean so I claimed it. Great for skin."
Research turns into home-building.
Mining uncovers onsen.
This school basement's a treasure trove.
"You go first, Husband. I'll prep and join."
"Not together?"
"......"
Elma's shoulders twitched.
She hesitated, then whipped her head away.
Ear tips faintly red.
"P-Pervert. Even married, there's etiquette! Go wash first!"
Slam.
She shut the door and left.
After showing everything already, now she's shy?
I chuckled and stripped.
===============================
Splash.
I sank into the water.
"Ooooh. Feels good."
Muscles melting away.
Deep enough to submerge to my shoulders.
Perfect temperature.
Heat soothing my weary body and mind.
I stared blankly at the ceiling.
Drips echoed in the cave.
Drip, drip.
Peaceful.
Yesterday's chaos felt like a dream.
Creeeak-.
Peace shattered.
Iron door opened cautiously.
Through the steam haze, a small silhouette appeared.
Elma.
Twin tails retied, body wrapped only in a white bath towel.
Pat pat pat.
She walked to the tub.
Bare feet slapping the floor.
"Elma?"
"......"
No answer.
She circled behind me.
Quietly undid her towel.
Swish-.
Splash.
Water rippled.
Current stirred behind my back.
"Husband."
A whisper in my ear.
Echoey cave made it dreamy.
"Let me scrub your back."