Chapter 6
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 6
Chapter Title: The Chaste Dwarf Virgin
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“This Elma Bronzebeer is a chaste dwarf maiden, you know!”
“You want me to wear this?”
“Why not?”
“It’s see-through.”
“Oh? It’s just like my pajamas?”
Elma curled the corners of her lips mischievously.
A perfectly innocent tone.
Her eyes arched slyly.
They brimmed with mischief.
“My husband’s in for a treat, huh? Matching sexy ‘couple pajamas’ on our first night as newlyweds.”
“No, even so... a guy in see-through lace is a bit much...”
I expressed my strong disapproval.
“Don’t you have any other clothes? Something plain and normal?”
“Men’s clothes?”
“Nope.”
Elma answered flatly.
She put her hands on her hips and lifted her chin proudly.
“You’re the first male I’ve ever let into my nest.”
“...”
“This Elma Bronzebeer is a chaste dwarf maiden, I tell you! There’s no way I’d have men’s clothes lying around the house. Common sense!”
A strangely proud expression.
Complete with a frivolous “Oh ho ho!” laugh.
As if she were bragging, I’m a virgin!
“So this is your best option. If you don’t like it, just go naked.”
“Haa...”
Checkmate.
Better than being naked, I suppose.
Resigned, I slipped into the golem’s bizarre creation.
Slipping smoothly on.
Unfortunately, it was far more transparent than I’d imagined.
“Pfft...!”
Elma burst out laughing.
“Ahahaha! What’s with that look! You look like a total perv, husband!”
The pint-sized professor rolling on the sofa, clutching her belly.
I was annoyed, but it didn’t feel bad.
Maybe because her laughing face was pretty cute.
“Stop laughing. Whose fault is this?”
“Okay, okay. I’ll stop. Pfft, khh! Come on, sit down. The pizza’s getting cold.”
Elma patted the spot next to her on the sofa.
Wiping tears from her eyes.
Thud.
I plopped down next to Elma.
“...”
“...”
A moment of silence.
Elma glanced up at me.
She looked displeased.
Furrowing her brow.
“Husband, you have no sense.”
“Huh?”
“That’s it?”
“Oh, do you need something? Knife or fork maybe?”
As I started to get up, Elma grabbed my shirt.
“Idiot. What moron eats pizza with a fork and knife?!”
She yelled shrilly.
“You’ve gotta put me on your lap!”
“Huh?”
She pointed at my thigh.
“Here.”
“...Huh?”
“Once you’ve sat down, you obviously put me on your lap. This is my spot.”
She meant on my thigh?
“Even while eating?”
“Of course. We’re married. No distance allowed.”
“Right, then...”
I brought my legs together and adjusted my posture.
Elma climbed up like she’d been waiting.
“Hopcha!”
A cute little grunt.
A solid, substantial weight.
The chewy feel of her skin.
“Hee hee. Now this is comfy.”
Elma leaned her back against my chest and let out a satisfied sigh.
Soft.
Toasty.
With such thin fabric, the sensation hit even harder.
“Open up! Hurry!!”
“Y-Yeah.”
Elma pounded my chest excitedly.
I awkwardly opened the box.
A wave of delicious aroma hit us.
“Haa...”
Elma wrinkled her nose in ecstasy.
Her tiny body shivered with anticipation.
“This is it. This smell. You can eat it a hundred, a thousand times and it never gets old. Dumb humans sure know how to make good food, huh?”
“I’m human too, you know.”
“You’re the exception, husband!”
So arbitrary.
Elma stretched her arm toward the table, then stopped.
Too short.
Her fingertips trembled just short of the pizza.
Was she mad again?
But Elma calmly leaned back fully against my lower abdomen.
Then pointed at the pizza.
“Feed me that.”
“Huh?”
“I want you to feed me.”
She opened her mouth wide into an ‘ahh’.
Calling me husband and all, but she was acting like royalty.
“What’re you waiting for? Hurry up.”
“It’s too far. And we’re one body now as husband and wife! Your hand is basically mine.”
“You sure live comfortably.”
“Hurry—!”
Unable to resist her urging, I reached out.
Grabbed a random slice.
Elma hurriedly stopped me.
“No! Not that one!”
“Why?”
“That one’s small.”
Her almond eyes scanned the pizza intently.
Soon, she pointed with her tiny index finger.
“That one, second from the left. That’s got the most cheese. Thick sweet potato mousse too.”
“They all look the same.”
“They’re not! A professor’s eyes can’t be fooled.”
“Elma, your degree’s in magic engineering, not food science...”
“Shut it! You talk too much! Grab that one quick.”
She even kicked her little legs in the air.
Cute.
Fun to tease.
But push it further and it’d be well-done.
In the end, I did as told.
I picked up the slice.
Snipped the dangling cheese.
Brought it to her mouth.
“Careful, it’s hot.”
The slice was bigger than her face.
“Aaah!”
Elma opened her mouth as wide as her jaw would allow.
She chomped the tip of the pizza.
Nom nom.
Her cheeks puffed out roundly.
“Mmm! So spicy!”
She mumbled around it, not even bothering to wipe her mouth.
A truly ferocious appetite.
And picky—insanely picky.
If the angle was even slightly off, she’d complain.
“Adjust the angle better. You’re wasting it all.”
“Yes, yes. Calling me husband, but you’re the queen here.”
“When you proposed, didn’t you say you’d never let a drop of water touch my hands?”
“I never said... Wait, it’s just pizza grease anyway.”
“Same difference!”
Can’t argue with that.
I kept my hand busy matching the speed she devoured it.
She ate so ravenously.
I half-worried my hand would get sucked into her mouth.
Gulp.
Elma smacked her lips, then tapped my wrist.
“Cola.”
“The cup...”
“Just give it.”
I held the bottle to her mouth.
“Kyaah—!”
Elma shuddered from the fizzy refreshment.
Her body against mine quivered.
Soft.
Chewy.
The waves of her skin rippling through the thin fabric.
Every movement made it feel even more vivid.
“You eat too, husband. Don’t just stare.”
“Sure.”
I hadn’t eaten because I was feeding her.
But I swallowed the complaint and reached with my other hand.
Elma snatched my wrist.
“No, not that.”
She pointed at the slice she’d just eaten from.
“Eat this.”
“...You were just eating that.”
“We can take turns.”
“That’s kinda...”
“Why? What’s mine is yours between husband and wife. Scared of an indirect kiss?”
Elma grinned mischievously.
She pulled the hand holding the pizza toward my mouth.
“Hurry. My arm’s getting tired.”
My arm, and she’s the one complaining?
But refusing might spark some mischief.
In the end, I bit into the slice with her teeth marks.
“Good boy, my husband.”
Elma reached up to pat my head...
But couldn’t reach, so she tapped my shoulder instead.
“Tasty?”
“Yeah. Delicious.”
“Right? I’ve got killer taste in menus.”
She smugly guided my hand back to her mouth.
“My turn now. Ahh—.”
The little professor waiting with her mouth agape.
She targeted the spot where my lips had been.
Lick.
Her tongue tip brushed my finger.
Moist and hot.
Feels just like a real couple.
Elma chewed and pointed at the remote nearby.
“Bored... Nom. Turn it on...”
“Swallow first. You’ll choke. You want the TV on, right?”
“Mm-hmm. Yeah.”
She gulped and nodded.
I opened the video platform.
“...”
[Real Footage! Mysterious Creature Found in Abandoned Mine?]
[US Teen Cave Exploration Accident - Part 2]
[One Wrong Step and You’re Dead? Sinkhole Experience]
What a taste...
Her choice was.
“That one! That looks fun. No, not right—more left. Yeah, that!”
[Tunnel Collapse! Trapped 500m Underground, 127 Hours of Survival!]
The thumbnail was brutal.
A cave wall clumsily photoshopped with blood.
Horrified rescuers.
“You watch this while eating, Elma?”
“Why not? It’s fun. You’ve got a dwarf wife now—you gotta know this stuff.”
Elma giggled and pressed my thumb firmly.
I hit play reluctantly.
- The incident began in 2012, when a group of mine explorers entered an abandoned shaft...
Explorers crawling through a narrow gap on screen.
Elma clicked her tongue.
Pizza nearly flew from her mouth.
“Look at that. Wrong approach from the start. Can’t they see the rock grain? Touch that and it collapses.”
“Normal people don’t know about rock grains.”
“Exactly why they’re idiots. If you don’t know, don’t go in. Think the earth’s a playground?”
She yanked my hand for another bite.
Then continued her sharp critique.
“Ugh, that! Look at that support beam! No load consideration! That’s why it collapses, tsk tsk.”
- KABOOM!
- Kyaaah!
- Somebody help me!!
- Nooooo!!
“See? Told you!”
Excited, Elma bounced on my thigh.
Her heavy butt ground against it.
“If I were there, three pickaxe swings and I’d have an escape route.”
“Easy for you, Elma, but not for them.”
“Easy? You get used to the dirt and rock smell—you don’t even notice the hardship.”
She snorted and burrowed deeper into my arms.
Shoving her butt back for a comfy position.
“Still... eating pizza in my husband’s lap ain’t bad.”
Elma tilted her head back.
Thonk.
Her small crown bumped my solar plexus.
Her almond eyes sparkled.
Sauce smeared all over her mouth.
“Right?”
“Yeah... it’s nice.”
“You’re so bland.”
I kept feeding her bites.
The more immersed she got, the wilder her movements.
Frustrated by the on-screen drama, she squirmed and stomped her feet.
“Argh, seriously! Dig left there!”
Squirm.
Her butt crack pressed my groin.
“That’s a water vein! Burst an aquifer and you’re all dead, you idiots!”
Grind.
She twisted her hips excitedly.
Friction of her skin through the fabric.
Like rubbing glutinous rice cake in plastic.
Analogy aside, the point was.
I’m gonna pop...
Felt too good.
“Ahem. Uh, Elma.”
“Hm? Nom nom.”
“Could you stay still for a bit?”
“Why?”
Elma tilted her head, cheese on her lips.
“You keep moving and it’s... troublesome for me.”
“Troublesome? Ohhh.”
Her eyes rolled downward.
To where it was starting to make its presence known.
Elma’s lips twitched up.
“Husband, having naughty thoughts?”
“No, it’s just the stimulation, I can’t help...”
“Excuses.”
Elma shoved the bitten edge of her pizza into my mouth.
“Mmff!”
“Nothing to be shy about. My butt does feel pretty good, right?”
“...”
Couldn’t deny it.
90cm tall with hips and glutes like that? Foul play.
“Save ‘that’ for later. Wipe me down first.”
Elma craned her neck back fully.
Sauce smeared on her mouth and cheeks.
“Here’s a tissue.”
“Your hand.”
“Huh?”
“Wipe it with your hand. Your hand’s big.”
“My hand’s dirty right now too.”
“Wife asks and that’s your excuse?”
Only pulls the wife card now.
I sighed and wiped her mouth with my thumb.
Swipe.
Soft cheek.
Warm and squishy.
Pale barley-toned skin.
Speckled with faint freckles.
Made her look even more youthful and defenseless.
Lips...
Her plump lips brushed my fingertip.
Elma’s eyes half-closed.
She stuck out her little tongue.
Like a cat.
Lick.
“Uh...”
She licked the sauce off my thumb.
Her small, hot tongue grazed my skin.
A shiver ran up my spine.
“Tasty?”
Elma licked her lips innocently.
My face burned.
Was this professor seriously flirting hard?
Or just a huge glutton?
“Why’s your face red? Cute.”
Elma giggled and bonked my chest with her crown.