Elevator (5): The Charlatan Shaman's Prophecy
A moment ago, the Fan Shaman had been striking an imposing pose, radiating intimidation. But now, there wasn't a trace of that aura to be found, even if you washed your eyes out looking for it. She knelt demurely, forehead pressed to the floor, not moving a muscle. What perfect dogeza this was. Even a warrior filled with murderous intent would hesitate to strike upon seeing it.
"No, Shaman, calm down first..."
"Lower your voice, hubby!!"
I was the one receiving the dogeza, and all I felt was bewilderment. But from what she was saying, it seemed she'd somehow figured out I was Shin-nim's husband and lost all will to resist.
She's got some real talent?
Until now, I'd been caught in anomalies several times and encountered all sorts of yokai there, but this was the first time one had clocked me before we even fought. I'd thought she was just a fake shaman, but she apparently had some skills.
"Ugh... it's because I'm a Seon-mu-dang."
"Seon-mu-dang? You mean the kind from that proverb, 'A shaman catches people'?"
"Yes, that's right."
Now that I looked, her name "Fan Shaman" had been fake too. Her real name was Seon-mu-dang—the very shaman from our proverb who "catches people," now turned into a yokai.
"So you do have some real spiritual power?"
"Do this long enough, and you naturally develop a gut feeling and sharp instincts."
According to Seon-mu-dang, after years of playing the shaman, she could size someone up at a glance and know what they were about. This one's a mark, this one's tricky—that kind of vibe.
"What'd your gut say about me?"
"It felt like standing before the Jade Emperor himself."
The shamans' supreme deity was the Jade Emperor, so I could imagine how shocked she'd been from her perspective.
"So you don't actually have any spiritual powers?"
"That's correct...?"
Anyway, I asked Seon-mu-dang about her powers, and she confessed she had none. Since she was faking serving gods rather than actually doing it, she'd probably pissed off the real heavenly deities.
"What about what you told Yeon Dae-ri then...?"
"Th-that was true!"
I'd wondered if she'd fed Yeon Dae-ri some drug, but Seon-mu-dang vehemently denied it, insisting on her innocence.
"The shaman's daughter really had something attached to her."
"What was it?"
"I'm not entirely sure..."
I gave her a skeptical look, and she hurriedly added an explanation.
"If I had to put a label on it... Saga rank, at least!"
"Saga rank?"
"It's the yokai classification system!"
She explained it to me again. Yokai are born from stories and fears, so their classification system is tied to tales too: Rumor, Folk Tale, Legend, Saga, Myth, Outlier.
"I'm Folk Tale rank. You're Myth rank, Jade Emperor, and your wife... felt like Outlier."
"..."
I hadn't known such a system existed. This was some seriously useful info.
"So the thing on Yeon Dae-ri..."
"It seemed like a powerful one derived from a famous saga or ghost story!"
"Hmm..."
Some Saga-rank thing lurking behind Yeon Dae-ri? I'd gotten a lot of help from her during this anomaly, and we'd been friendly before, but we'd grown even closer this time. The news rubbed me the wrong way.
Nothing I can do about it right now.
I'll keep it in mind for later. If something happens down the line, I can deal with it then.
"You done talking?"
"I-if it's not too rude...?"
I asked if she was finished, and she tentatively made a proposal.
"I'm not a real shaman, but I've played the part for a long time...?"
"And?"
"Could I read your fortune just once?"
A fortune from a charlatan shaman? It felt a bit iffy, but she'd given me useful info and seemed sharp enough, so why not.
"Hmm..."
"I'll check your compatibility with that great one too!"
As I hesitated, she sweet-talked with an extra offer. She must be dying to know my horoscope or fate. Or maybe trying to butter up Shin-nim?
"Do it."
"Shin-nim?"
"Eeeeek?!"
Then a voice whispered in my ear—Shin-nim's voice, which I usually only heard in dreams. She was curious about our compatibility too, apparently.
"Give it a shot."
"Understood..."
I sat cross-legged on a cushion, sensing Shin-nim watching from somewhere. Seon-mu-dang, having unwittingly drawn Shin-nim's attention, trembled pitifully as she cautiously began the divination.
Clack clack, roll roll. Scatter!
She drew inscribed bamboo sticks, rolled beads, sprinkled rice grains. It looked simple at a glance, but whatever advanced technique she was using, she made it look grueling.
"Phew~ All done!"
"What'd it say?"
"I'll summarize simply~!"
She wiped sweat from her brow, smiling contentedly.
"First, your fortune for the near future."
"You'll get swept up in something big soon. Wise handling will be key."
"Hmm..."
Something about constellations and the shape of the heavens—she lost me there. I asked for something useful.
"Any ways to prepare?"
"Remember the spoils of war? Something like that."
I puzzled over "spoils of war" for a second, then two items popped into my head. I couldn't help but be impressed. This woman... she might be more legit than real shamans.
"Got it. What about compatibility?"
"Well..."
Okay, so big trouble ahead, prepare with spoils of war. But that was for later. What I really wanted was me and Shin-nim's compatibility. I was honestly curious how it'd turn out. Did gods and humans even have that?
"Your compatibility... it's fantastic? Like body and head, crocodile and plover!"
"You sure you're not bullshitting?"
"I wouldn't dare lie in front of Shin-nim and her husband!"
She shook her head vigorously, protesting her innocence. It was a bit suspicious, but with Shin-nim staying quiet, it was probably true.
"Alright, noted."
"Um, one more thing?"
As I started to stand, thinking we were done, she added cautiously.
"You seem newlyweds... maybe spruce up your home...?"
"Spruce up the house?"
"Yes! Make it nice and cozy, and good things will happen!"
Spruce up the house? It was so out of left field, I couldn't help but be flustered.
"Tentacles on the head? Eeeeek?!"
"..."
My fluster turned into a whole different kind. Shin-nim, did you come down here yourself to say that?
"You could've just told me."
"Hmph."
Shin-nim snorted childishly. Had she been hoping I'd figure it out and do it myself? If she'd said something sooner, I'd have fixed it up already. Women's hearts were impossible to read.
"Anyway, I'm outta here."
"Ah, farewell then..."
With that, I parted ways with Seon-mu-dang, left the hanok, and found Yeon Dae-ri.
"All done talking?"
"Yeah, quite the experience."
"Right? I heard enlightened shamans can ascend to immortality. Guess it's true!"
Yeon Dae-ri, thoroughly duped by Seon-mu-dang. Normally it'd be dangerous, possessed by a yokai, but with Seon-mu-dang cowed by me, it should be fine. Plus, she seemed decent enough.
"Anyway, let's head out."
"Hold on, Section Chief. Wanna check this out?"
As we left the woods for the pristine hallway, Yeon Dae-ri stopped me and led me around the hanok's outskirts. There was a small shed—door gone, replaced by an elevator.
"This thing is ridiculous."
"Tell me about it. Starting to piss me off."
This damn elevator should've ended after one round, but after three rides already, here it was again, beckoning us. No longer scary—just infuriating. But what choice did we have? It was our only way out.
"Let's go."
"Yeees..."
We trudged into the elevator, and once more, it whisked us somewhere. Clunk, rattle.
But this time felt different from before. It jerked like it was catching on something, and familiar daily noises filtered in.
"...No way?"
Finally escaping? Could I dare hope? Yeon Dae-ri and I waited eagerly for the doors.
Ding!
The doors opened, and I was a little thrown.
Perfectly normal?
All previous places had an off vibe: endless halls, caves, labs. But this? Looked like a regular company lobby.
"Whoa... it's huge."
"..."
She was right—the lobby was massive. High ceilings, fancy paintings and statues on the walls. Comfy sofas and tables, even a dessert bar with treats. The only weird bit? Dozens of elevators lined up on one wall.
"It didn't vanish this time."
"Yeah. Think we could take it again?"
Before, the elevator always disappeared the moment we stepped off. But now it stayed put. Curious, I hit the open button—normal interior.
"Unexpected guests have arrived."
"Hm?"
A refined voice from behind. I turned to see a demure woman who seemed to be the manager. The odd part? Her face was just black voids where features should be. Yokai, probably, but no hostility.
"This place forbids outsiders, you know."
"Well, we're pretty bummed about that ourselves."
She seemed reasonable, so I explained our plight as best I could. We were normal reality folks; this cursed elevator kidnapped us. We're innocent. She nodded understandingly.
"Elevator 5 does break down often. I understand."
"So then..."
"But I can't just let you go."
Not again. She said regulations prevented it, but there was a way.
"Work as hotel staff for a few days, and I'll grant elevator privileges..."
Brrring!
Her phone rang mid-sentence. Looking flustered, she went to the counter, picked up the landline.
"Yes, Manager Debpma speaking."
"!HIGH-LEVEL EMERGENCY!"
"Pardon? Escort the two out of the hotel right now?"
The voice was faint from afar, but neither of us had normal senses. We exchanged glances, harboring faint hope.
"I'll escort you out."
"Oh!"
"Yes!"
Lucky break! No idea why, but she didn't hold us. She even boarded the elevator herself and punched in buttons in some pattern. With an enigmatic whir, it moved.
Short ride later, it stopped. Doors opened to a back alley near the office.
"Farewell. You've been guests of Caesar Hotel."
"Yep."
A goodbye from behind. I turned to reply—nothing but blank wall. The elevator had vanished without a trace, as usual.
"Finally!"
"We escaped!!"
But who cared. We'd broken free from that godforsaken elevator at last. Grabbing Yeon Dae-ri's hands, we hopped in joy. Deep down, I swore:
From now on, stairs only.
No more elevators, ever.