Chapter 33: The Price of a Meal
Baba Yaga's expression was completely unreadable. Whether I was about to be scolded or interrogated. Why was she smiling so mysteriously. The only saving grace was that Baba Yaga was waiting for me alone right now.
If my status as a kaiju had been exposed, I would have died during the exam or be surrounded by countless hunters and heroes by now.
“Um… is this expulsion?”
“Expulsion? You think I'd just let you go after wasting half a year's worth of mana on the Academy's operations?”
...What?
Wasting that much mana just to play around?
[Tiss, Tiss... we've become debtors? Credit delinquents?]
Kihihihi.
Baba Yaga laughed heartily, amused by my expression.
“Haha, just kidding. Look at your startled face, hehe. Of course, the resource waste was severe, but not to that extent.”
[Ah... I thought my heart would stop.]
Shan, who had turned pale, melted.
She was terrified.
This damn little 12-year-old brat.
Baba Yaga, still chuckling, suddenly straightened her expression and asked.
“Exactly what kind of prank did you pull to instantly see through this old woman's illusion?”
“Th-that's...”
I needed to figure out how much this witch knew.
Naturally scratching my head, I told part of the story of how I detected the illusion, omitting some details.
“Just... coincidence, maybe? I felt a weird sensation and luckily noticed the illusion.”
“What, coincidence...? You felt a weird sensation, but luckily touched the illusion? Last chance. It's better to spill everything honestly.”
Only then did she seem to realize I wasn't hiding anymore.
I confessed about manipulating reality after sensing the weird sensation.
“You brat, only now admitting it? You little Modubu, I watched you stuff food into your mouth without stopping, like a starving gullet.”
Tsk tsk.
Baba Yaga looked at me with pity and said.
“Quite cautious, aren't you.”
“...What are you talking about?”
“What? You were watching what I was doing.”
“...Watching what?”
“What do you think I was doing? I left you alone to see what you were doing, and I saw you using all the resources just to eat. Hey, what delicious food were you eating that made you go to such lengths to hide it from our eyes?”
[Tiss? U-um... did we get caught?]
<No, it's fine.>
From her reaction, it seemed Baba Yaga hadn't noticed Shan's existence.
But the excessive use of resources had definitely been exposed.
“Then what happens if that's the case?”
“What happens? Nothing at all.”
“Really?”
I flinched a bit, bending my knee to look into Baba Yaga's eyes.
She flinched slightly, then crossed her arms and declared.
“Y-Yeah, that much mana waste is within my tolerance. This old woman will overlook it with a big heart.”
[Huu... G-Good, Tiss.]
<Yeah, we survived ten years of this.>
Baba Yaga seemed to have come just to check my status.
“Then, can I go now?”
Thud.
As I tried to stand up, Baba Yaga grabbed my shoulder.
“Go? Where do you think you're going now?”
“W-Well... since I passed the 0th exam, I should go take the 1st exam, right?”
Was she planning to give me the expulsion notice right after grabbing me like this?
Anyway, the exam was still ongoing, so I had to keep taking it.
I looked at Baba Yaga with anxious eyes.
Whoosh.
“Leaving this old woman alone and going where?”
An unexpected timing tear attack hit me.
No, don't use the ultimate move of grabbing the sleeve and crying with tears in my eyes.
[Kyaaak! Th-this isn't it! It looks cute... but that's fake! It's not a real child... ugh.]
<That's nothing?>
Shan, confused, staggered as if hit by a mental attack.
It seemed Baba Yaga had no intention of letting me go easily.
Hehehe.
“You're startled. What a fun little girl.”
After laughing for a while, Baba Yaga revealed the reason she was catching me.
“This is a real-time balance patch. This damn Modubu. If you go, you'll cause chaos alone, right? You can't take the 1st exam. I need to watch over you from the side.”
It was fortunate that Shan's identity wasn't exposed, but... it seemed Baba Yaga had definitely caught me.
“Then what happens to me?”
“For now, follow me.”
Baba Yaga grabbed my hand and used teleportation. After a slight dizziness, the monitoring room where the examinees were being watched appeared before me.
“Baba Yaga-nim has arrived...”
Lionel looked surprised seeing Baba Yaga brought one of the examinees.
“Who is this child?”
“My granddaughter.”
Baba Yaga suddenly hugged me and squished my face with her small hands.
[Uwhek... small hands are cute... ah, no! Fake... fake! It's not a real child... ugh.]
Shan, who liked it, straightened her expression and came back to her senses.
“How is it? Isn't our granddaughter cute?”
“...Eh?”
Lionel's eyes widened twice as much, alternating between me and Baba Yaga.
“You have a granddaughter?”
“What? Did you believe that? Of course it's a joke.”
Only after pushing Lionel to the brink of fainting did Baba Yaga casually reveal the truth.
“This cheeky little brat is the one who was sucking up the resources in the exam hall. So I brought her here.”
“Haa... I thought my heart would stop.”
“Lion cub, you're so cowardly... tsk tsk. You always act tough in front of people. It looks much better that way.”
“...If it weren't for Baba Yaga-nim's antics, I'd be a brave lion.”
Lionel, scratching his head with a small sigh, looked at his watch and adjusted his tie.
“Since Baba Yaga-nim is here too, I'll go proceed with the 1st exam.”
“Go ahead. Good luck. And come here, Modubu.”
Baba Yaga, who had heard Lionel out, called me to a luxurious tea table set up in a corner of the monitoring room.
“Um... could you tell me why you brought me here?”
“I already told you. It's a balance patch. You're a straight pass.”
So, it means skipping the 1st exam and going straight to the 2nd exam.
While I was processing that.
Taht!
“Hoo?”
Following Baba Yaga's outstretched hand, my eyes moved and my body reacted.
No, to suddenly test me like this.
It was too late when I realized I had to stop.
Seeing me holding the fork upside down that she offered, Baba Yaga's smile grew thicker.
“You're fast. Strong. Already at the level of a second-year student... or maybe even more? A Modubu overflowing with talent. Your body is trained enough to see through illusions.”
Baba Yaga quickly analyzed my abilities in that short moment.
Baba Yaga, staring at me as if appraising me, suddenly dropped a shocking statement.
“Modubu. Not just a straight pass, how about passing?”
“Passing...?”
“Yes, Academy admission. If I use my authority, I can easily pass at least one of you.”
Passing?
I didn't expect Baba Yaga to suddenly make such a drastic proposal.
What was her scheme?
“Instead, how about being my assistant...?”
“I decline.”
University student? No, a witch's assistant.
A terrifying future of not sleeping more than 4 hours a day and being worked to death flashed before my eyes.
“Then, how about reconsidering? If you do well as an assistant, I might even take you as a disciple.”
“It's fine.”
“You're picky... but it's a joke, joke.”
It didn't seem like a joke.
If I became the witch's assistant, it would be impossible to help Siwoo and Sia from the side more than anything else.
That was absolutely out of the question.
“Then, can't you just let me take the exam?”
“No way, no way~”
Baba Yaga wiggled her eyebrows and shook her fingers to tease me.
[Tiss... can't I just punch her?]
<No, she's an elder. And we might lose.>
Honestly, the impulse to give her a good smack was there, but I held it back.
“Well... fine. If you don't want it, I won't force you. If you hate the Management Bureau audit, then so be it.”
Dolk dorok.
Baba Yaga hummed a tune and brought a basket from somewhere, starting to set something on the table.
“Here.”
This is...?
[Apple pie?]
It's Baba Yaga's 'that'.
[What? Is it for eating?]
<Shan... activate all functions related to pollutant intake.>
[Eh...? What is that.]
Looking at Shan licking her lips, I gave a strict warning.
<It's not a joke. Hurry up!>
Actually, Baba Yaga's only weakness was this.
This 12-year-old smiley girl couldn't live long, but there was one exception...
Cooking skills were the only exception.
“Since you're hungry, you didn't find food in the illusion. Don't refuse, eat it quickly.”
Baba Yaga offered a slice of apple pie with a happy smile.
[Wh-what is wrong with this?]
Sniff sniff.
[Ugyak!]
Shan screamed even though she only smelled it, about to lose her mind.
[Tiss... what is this!]
<As you see, apple pie>
[H-How can this be apple pie!! This is, this is blasphemy!!]
Shan trembled as if she saw a demon.
To Shan, who thought the greatest happiness in the world was rolling around at home eating delicious food, Baba Yaga's food was not just bad food but a living nightmare itself.
[Th-this... this old hag pretends to be a child too, but now even the universe's monster is... now she's making food that moves.]
<Hey, no bad words, Shan.>
Twitching.
- Eat me, you bastard![Tiss! The apple pie is moving. It's whispering to me. It wants me to eat it... hiik!]
<Don't look. Don't listen.>
The apple pie with mosaic processing and tentacles and eyeballs wriggling was so horrifying that Shan's already pale face turned even paler.
Baba Yaga's cooking skills were so terrifying that even the hero party had removed her from the cooking duty.
Is she seriously asking me to eat the food of the chef who made the dish that even the hero party couldn't handle?
“Sh-should I eat it?”
“This old woman made this pie with care, and you're not eating it?”
Her eyes, more intense than before, glared at me with dissatisfaction.
[Kyuuu!]
The problem was that Baba Yaga herself felt her own cooking was delicious.
Moreover, she put her best effort into cooking.
The result was the worst.
[Sh-should I eat?]
<Eat it.>
It wasn't because of Baba Yaga's urging.
Baba Yaga's cooking was like a medicine with excellent nutrition and magical effects.
When cooking, Baba Yaga thought it would be delicious if she put everything good for the body.
If I ate this, it would definitely help replenish the energy needed for molting.
But... again, let me say it, the taste is deathly.
Gulp.
I barely swallowed my dry saliva.
In the original game, apple pie was only given to students who scored exceptionally or caught the eye.
I was going to eat it.
[Hiik... T-Tiss, how about thinking it over again right now?]
<Too late.>
Just picking up the trembling apple pie with my hands gave me goosebumps all over my body.
But I endured.
I took a bite.
I completely numbed my taste buds, activated the digestive tract's protective shield and mental barrier, and even ran the biological purification filter at full capacity.
All the various biological organs prepared to handle ingesting toxic kaiju or rotten food in combat situations started to operate violently.
Twitch.
Without realizing, my ears stood up and my tail stood stiff.
But I had no time to control that.
Gulp.
“How is it? Did it taste good?”
With expectant eyes, I couldn't say it was bad.
“I-It was okay. It tastes like when my grandma made it when I was little.”
After eating the pie slice she offered, a sincere smile appeared on Baba Yaga's lips.
“Since the hero party, I've never seen a kid eat this well. Even White Ghost would rather fight to the death than eat my food.”
Baba Yaga was a wicked witch but warm to children.
The one we know, the one who turns eyes when you say your kid is hungry.
“This white Modubu-like puppy looks good when eating well.”
Baba Yaga, who hadn't seen someone eat her food without foaming at the mouth or vomiting in a long time, brought her hand to the basket with a blush.
One, two, three...
The apple pie dyed in the colors of the universe rose in Baba Yaga's hand.
Apple pie, walnut pie, meat pie.
Uwook.
My mental barrier almost broke.
[Tiss, pretend it's a dream. No, I'll faint first, so you eat it all. G-Good luck!]
<What? Shan...? Shan!!!>
Shan's eyes rolled back, and she fainted for real.
This damn brat.
How was I supposed to handle this alone?
Come back now!
“Looking at it now, your face is half and half. Tsk tsk. Don't go hungry and eat properly. There are plenty of pies.”
“Um, Baba Yaga-nim. My stomach... is full?”
“Eating just one slice and feeling full? Tone down the jokes. I'll send you nowhere until you finish this, so remember that.”
Ah.
I ended up paying a hefty price, adding responsibility for pleasure.