Before Becoming the Saintess
Hilde saw a sixteen-year-old girl weeping bitterly.
They said no one could truly measure the size of another person’s misfortune, but the density of suffering in Irene’s life was beyond anything Hilde could even begin to imagine.
What must the girl be feeling now, after being told that if humanity could live a little more peacefully and happily, she should take on the role of saintess?
And yet Hilde couldn’t help wondering whether it made any sense at all for humanity to become happier by spending this girl’s misery.
Hilde walked up to the saintess. Surrounded by senior priests and Agatha, the saintess lunged the moment she noticed Hilde coming closer. Then the saintess grabbed Hilde by the collar.
"Why did you save me? I was so awful to you! You should’ve just let me die! I can’t take it anymore. I hate this miserable life! Waaaah!"
The saintess was crying as she pounded on Hilde’s chest. The people around them stared in alarm. It seemed they still didn’t want to get on the saintess’s bad side. Even in this situation, Hilde couldn’t stop a small laugh from escaping her. Agatha moved to pull the saintess away, but Hilde shook her head.
Hilde leaned close to Irene’s ear, just as the saintess had done when she had insulted Agatha that day.
"Lies."
The small, clear word rang in the saintess’s ear. The saintess, who had been sobbing in Hilde’s arms for a long while, lifted her head to look at her. There was a faintly angry expression on her face. Before she could say anything, Hilde spoke first.
"People who truly want to die don’t keep saying it out loud."
"So what? What do you care...? If you’d just left me alone to die, this cursed life would’ve ended today!"
The saintess grew even more despondent. What did it matter, anyway? She really had wanted to live. But everyone around her were monsters who hurt the people she cared about. Even if she wanted to live, she always had to go on while feeling death’s threat breathing down her neck. Family, friends, guards—and now, it was her turn to die.
Hilde thought about it for a while. The saintess really wasn’t a bad person. If she hadn’t been the saintess, they might have become friends.
No... Irene was not a bad person at all. She was a kind girl who had wanted to make the world peaceful. This world had driven the girl into terror of death.
What can I do for this girl?
Hilde, while Irene was still crying her heart out, grabbed her shoulders and gently pushed her back. She lowered herself to meet the girl’s eyes, and when she used her thumb to wipe away the tears sliding down her cheeks, the saintess looked back at her with a somewhat bewildered expression.
To Hilde, the saintess seemed to have a nature that would let her protect the weak, if her strength ever reached them.
Then all Hilde had to do was give her a push from behind.
"I’ll protect you for the rest of your life, Saintess. I’ll guard you so you’re never hurt or forced to suffer again. Wouldn’t you like to work with me for humanity’s peace?"
The saintess, overwhelmed by immense grief, didn’t understand at first what the words of a mere eleven-year-old child meant. But when the individual words finally assembled themselves in her mind, she burst into even more tears. The girl who looked so reliable—more reliable than anyone—felt as though she, too, would one day be swallowed by Irene’s misfortune and vanish.
"I only ever bullied you...! Why are you being so kind to me? Are you pitying me?"
"No. Not at all."
A saintess with such remarkable talent was not someone who should have been pitied.
What would it have been like if the saintess had taken her position with a solid support base behind her?
Or if, at the very least, there had been someone to cover up this girl’s wounds?
What stood before her now was simply a pitiful person, built from layers upon layers of misfortune stacked one upon another.
"I was curious about what you’re really like, Saintess."
Irene stopped crying. Dumbfounded by the answer she had never expected, she blinked before letting out a little laugh. Her cold impression changed in an instant.
"What even is that?! You’re seriously weird! Pfft!"
Irene raised both hands and gently wiped at her tears.
"Your Holiness!"
At Irene’s call, the pope jumped in surprise, far more flustered than his dignified self would ever allow.
"Get the paperwork ready! Hilde is my guard from now on. We’re going to stamp it right away!"
Hooking her arm through Hilde’s, the saintess left the training grounds and headed for the pope’s office. The pope followed after them under the weight of countless stares.
As Irene strode toward the office, she replayed Hilde’s answer in her mind. What I’m really like. The young girl walking beside her felt as dependable as the god she had served all her life. It seemed as though she might be able to share in the dream of the happy world she had once wished for.
"Don’t you dare regret saying that. If you leave, I won’t let you off lightly!"
"Yes. I understand, Saintess."
The saintess’s silver hair fluttered pleasantly with her steps. Before being the saintess, she had found a friend with whom she could pursue the dream she had once had.
---
The day after Hilde turned fifteen and received her Holy Stigma, she left the church at midnight wearing a hood. Irene, who had followed her out, grumbled as they went.
"I keep telling you, you really don’t have to do this. You’re a guard, and you won’t even listen to the saintess."
Hilde gave a wry smile. The saintess’s words were probably only half true. Hilde recalled the information she had just memorized.
When Irene rose to become saintess, the church that had obsessively tried to assassinate her was, absurdly enough, a nearby city only four hours away by horseback from this street. In order to deal a blow to the authority of the Senium Church, they had sent assassin after assassin to kill the young saintess, but she had barely survived and eventually managed to catch their trail. It had been the work of three high-ranking divine knights from the Demines Church in the neighboring city, along with the pope.
But though the circumstantial evidence was overwhelming, there was no direct proof, and in the end even the Senium Church could do nothing.
Hilde had learned all of this the very day she became Irene’s guardian. And from that day on, she had waited four full years for the right moment to act.
"Don’t get hurt, and you have to come back safely!"
Hilde nodded, then took only the hilt of her sword with her and ran off. If she let herself be recognized as a holy knight, she wouldn’t be able to receive any buffs.
Seeing Hilde vanish in an instant, Irene felt a little uneasy. Not for Hilde’s sake, but for herself—for having to spend even a single night apart from Hilde.
---
Infiltrating the Demines Church was, ironically, easy. Perhaps because it was a denomination that worshiped the same god, even the alarm spell they had had a mage install never went off. If it had, she had been prepared to kill everyone there, but things went far more smoothly than expected.
"Who are you!? Do you know who I am, you—urgh!"
"I’ll give you any amount of money! Please, just spare me! Aaaagh!"
"God will punish you! Ngh!"
The fact that she had once stopped by to study the way the door locks worked had been useful. She cut the old hinges soundlessly and went in, dealing with the three divine knights who had orchestrated Irene’s assassination attempts. As befit high-ranking knights, they woke the moment she entered their rooms, but they were powerless before the surprise assault. Since she used a single-use soundproof artifact in each room, there was no commotion.
Most amusing of all, when she visited the pope’s bedroom, she found an old man snoring in bed with two women beside him. A fun idea suddenly came to mind. She yanked off her hood and set her sword aside. She was wearing a simple T-shirt and short pants. She kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed.
"Pope! Please wake up."
When Hilde shook the pope awake, he opened his eyes groggily. Then he stared, wide-eyed, and exclaimed in admiration.
"Oh! Has the goddess come to lay her hand of blessing upon a faithful believer? This faithful believer will present you with paradise!"
The women beside him, apparently worn out from whatever they had been doing, didn’t wake up even with all the pope’s noise. Hilde watched them for a moment, then, seeing him reach out to touch her, sprang up from the bed.
"Ugh. I’ll let you feel the foot of hell, not the hand of blessing."
Flooding her foot with divine power, Hilde swung it straight into the pope’s face. The head of the group that had tormented Irene so relentlessly died in a pathetic burst, his skull exploding on impact. She shook the blood from her foot, pulled her hood and shoes back on, and slipped out lightly.
"An intruder!"
By the time Hilde left the village, a great uproar had broken out in the Demines Church. Hilde felt wonderfully refreshed, as though she had finally finished an old assignment that had been sitting on her desk for years.
"Hilde, what on earth have you done!"
By morning, the whole church had been thrown into turmoil by an official document posted throughout the order. The deaths of the Demines Church’s pope and three first-class high-ranking holy knights—people renowned for their exceptional abilities and for having once forged legends of their own in their youth. That was their reputation. Reading the notice, Agatha quickly pieced together the victims and guessed at once who was responsible. There was only one person in this world who would dare do something like this.
"I don’t know anything about it."
"Are you going to keep lying to your mother? That really hurts my feelings."
At Agatha’s sorrowful words, Hilde’s heart softened. No matter what happened, her mother would always be on her side, and lying to her pricked at her conscience.
"I’m sorry, Mother. But there’s no evidence, and I won’t get caught."
Seeing her daughter speak so honestly made Agatha feel a little better. Just a little.
"I told you that if you gave me a little time, I’d make them pay. The fact that the alarm spell never rang, and the fact that whoever did this clearly understood the church’s layout well. If we narrow it down to someone capable of killing a person of such great skill in an instant, wouldn’t that leave only circumstantial evidence?"
"What good did that circumstantial evidence do Irene, after all the assassination attempts she’s endured?"
Agatha’s breath caught slightly. Her good daughter, who couldn’t have brought herself to hurt even a tiny ant, had become so ruthless that she’d carried out bloody revenge. The people Hilde had killed deserved to die, but a child committing murder was another matter entirely. Seeing Agatha look at her with such sadness, Hilde lowered her head.
"I’m sorry, Mother. But I won’t recklessly hurt people from now on."
"Actually, I asked her to! I’m sorry, Agatha!"
Irene, who had been listening from the side, chimed in as well. Agatha pressed a hand to her forehead, feeling dizzy.