Before Becoming a Saint
Ever since her memories of a past life had surfaced, Hilde had been haunted by one question: what, exactly, was she?
A little girl from a mountain village?
An adult man born and raised in South Korea?
No matter how she turned it over, she could never quite settle on an answer.
Of course, she had never once suspected that this life was fake.
Until she was eleven, with no memories of her former life, Hilde had lived without a shred of doubt. It was only when those memories suddenly returned that she began to feel a strange disconnect, as if she were looking at this world and a game layered over one another at the same time.
And when she realized she might be the only alien thing in this world, she couldn’t sleep at night.
It was the day after she was officially registered with Agatha at the church. After lunch and about an hour of rest, Agatha brought Hilde to an open lot near the church building.
The winter wind was cold enough to sting, but still bearable. Compared with Korea, the seasonal temperature swings here were not especially severe.
Whenever those memories from her previous life rose up like that, Hilde felt as if she had turned into something else entirely.
Agatha assumed Hilde must be upset at having been separated from the village children, and gently stroked her head, looking at her with sympathy.
"From now on, this will be our home. And now, let’s see what kind of gift our daughter has. Is that all right?"
"Yes, it’s fine. If it’s something I have to do, I won’t refuse."
"If you ever dislike it, you tell your mother right away. Now then, first you need to feel the divine power in your body. Close your eyes and try to sense the energy within you."
For a moment, Hilde didn’t understand what Agatha meant. In the game, church-based classes came with divine power as a basic stat from the very beginning. But Hilde, who had grown up as an ordinary girl, had no idea where to start. It was like being told to use her hair as if it were a hand.
Hilde closed her eyes. Blocking out the world and concentrating as hard as she could, she became aware of the sound of her own heartbeat in her ears. Ten minutes passed, perhaps. Her expectations only made the disappointment worse. She felt nothing. She thought it was proof that she had no talent for divine power.
"I’m sorry, Mother. I can’t feel anything. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really believed in gods."
Hilde felt depressed. The power that had once protected the villagers had demanded unbearable effort, yet it had produced a result no girl her age should have been able to accomplish. Her fascination with mysterious powers was one of her greatest wishes. But the reality that she might never achieve it was unbearably sad in the moment.
Agatha lowered herself until she was at eye level with Hilde, then gently rubbed the furrow between her brows. In a soft voice, she said,
"There’s something my daughter has misunderstood. Whether you believe in gods or not, divine power exists in everyone."
Agatha placed her hand over the center of Hilde’s chest. To sense divine power for the first time, it was important to believe in oneself.
"Hilde has always been obedient, never causing trouble, always such a good child. But at some point, our daughter began to doubt everything."
Hilde blinked in confusion at Agatha’s words.
"Mother. I’ve never doubted gods."
"Even people who doubted before becoming clergy can still feel divine power. The god Senimilrod never once told us to believe in anything but ourselves. What matters most is that you trust yourself."
Hilde realized that the reason she couldn’t feel divine power was rooted in her own doubts. Even now, she still struggled to accept the fact that her existence was a fusion of the man she had been in her past life and the Hilde she was now.
If she had to spend her whole life wrestling with this, maybe remembering her past life really had been a curse.
Then, all at once, Hilde hesitated.
Just because she had memories of another life didn’t mean the person she was now had changed. It would have been nice to be born as a handsome man instead, sure, but that was all right. Even if she had no divine power, she could simply live an ordinary life and be satisfied with that.
Wasn’t it enough to live diligently as the person she had been born as?
If she couldn’t believe in herself, she couldn’t believe in anyone else. Hilde understood that now.
What a pointless doubt. In the end, nothing essential has changed.
Even the Hilde who had once had no memories of a past life was, in the end, the reincarnation of me, a person who had been born in South Korea. Only my memories had surfaced; in the end, I was still just another person of this world.
A warm current spread through her chest. It felt so gentle it was as if even demons could be held in those comforting hands.
"Hrk... sob... sob..."
Hilde cried. The endless turmoil in her mind had vanished without her noticing. Was this what it felt like when the god in the heavens reached down with a hand of salvation?
Feeling the world brighten, she opened her eyes. Light from far off in the sky was shining down on Hilde in dazzling brilliance. Snow had piled softly all around her while she had been lost in thought.
Agatha had been holding her in her arms to keep the snow off her. Hilde could feel Agatha’s warm love enfolding her, protecting her from her own doubts. In the blue depths of Hilde’s eyes, awakened divine power shone with sacred radiance.
---
Bang!
A thunderous sound echoed through the Colosseum. Some of the spectators flinched and shut their eyes tight, unable to bear what they were seeing.
Ian, the First Knight Commander, stared wide-eyed. He had brought his sword down with all his strength to cleave the girl’s blade, but Hilde’s sword did not even have a scratch on it. Not only that, her stance had not wavered in the slightest while defending against his strike.
It was the first time he had ever encountered such a thing after reaching such a high level. His sword had never been blocked before. Since aura could only be opposed by aura, knights were strongest in close-range combat between individuals.
"Is that all?"
Ian felt a chill crawl up his spine. Hilde’s expression was the same as when they had first met, but in the brief glimpse he caught of her, he felt something inhuman.
Hilde twisted his aura-laden blade away with a sharp motion. It was a technique that required both greater strength than one’s opponent and superior swordsmanship to pull off in a contest of force. Hilde then swung her sword at Ian, whose stance had been thrown off.
Ian was startled, but as a true expert, he recovered his footing and fell back into defense. The sound of repeated crashes began to ring out. It wasn’t the sound of two swords clashing; it was more like the battering of siege weapons against a fortress wall, the sort of noise one would hear on a battlefield.
The crowd was stunned. A nameless holy knight barely sixteen years old was gaining the upper hand over the commander of knights, one of the strongest men on the continent. It was as though an angel had descended to pass judgment upon humanity.
Ian admitted it. This girl named Hilde was strong. She might even be stronger than he was. But if he lost here, then no matter what excuse he offered, his reputation would surely hit the floor.
As Ian’s momentum changed, Hilde stopped attacking. It seemed she had gotten a little stress relief from finally finding someone worth exchanging blows with.
Grateful that Hilde had suddenly stopped her assault, Ian prepared his ultimate technique.
Blue aura flooded from Ian’s body. It expanded and took on the shape of a great horse. On its forehead was a horn, positioned exactly where the tip of Ian’s thrusting blade would be.
"I deeply apologize for looking down on you. But stopping your offensive was a grave mistake."
Without meaning to, Ian couldn’t bring himself to speak casually to Hilde. For someone her age to possess such extraordinary skill, he couldn’t begin to imagine how much effort she must have poured into herself. The density of her life must have been on a completely different level from everyone else’s.
Haaah!
Ian gathered every ounce of his strength and charged at tremendous speed. It was so fast that an ordinary person would have had trouble tracking his movement. Then Hilde and Ian collided.
Bang!!!!!!!!!!
The explosive blast was so deafening that every spectator clamped their hands over their ears and grimaced. Dust filled the Colosseum as though the stage itself had been shattered. Even while shielding their aching ears, the crowd could only assume Hilde would never survive a blow like that. In their hearts, they were already booing Ian for going all out.
Whoosh...
The waiting mage used air magic to send the drifting dust far into the sky. Healing priests and clerics, sensing that this was no ordinary duel, rushed to the front of the stage and stood by.
After the wind had blown for about ten seconds, the broken stage finally came into faint view.
Ian was kneeling atop the collapsed pile of stones. His massive sword had been broken clean in two and was stuck in the ground.
Hilde stood exactly where she had been before the collision, her sword lowered, having not moved an inch. She had held her ground without a single wound.
No one spoke.
The people who had thought she was nothing more than an immature, impetuous young holy knight could no longer think of Hilde that way.
Hilde smiled faintly. She dropped to one knee and extended a hand toward Ian.
"That was a fine match, Sir Ian."
Ian looked at the girl who had weathered his full power without a scratch. What had made her kneel before him was not the sword he had spent his whole life training, but her mercy. Her armor, which had seemed almost ceremonial, now looked as dependable as the legendary armor of orichalcum.
Ian took her hand. As Hilde rose, she helped him to his feet as well.
"Well, the church’s choice was right after all."
Ian let out a hollow laugh and added,
"Hilde Sermilt. It was an honor to duel you. This is your victory."
Waaah!
At Ian’s concession, the spectators, who had been holding their breath, erupted into cheers. It was Hilde’s debut match, and she was only sixteen.
---
Whoa, that’s insane! She’s this strong right from the start? I’ve never seen an NPC like her before—what is she? Anyway, this’ll be cleared super fast.
Lee Yu-seong, summoned five years ago, smiled as he watched Hilde peeling the saint away from him like she was stuck to her side.
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