You Can Only Empathize If You've Experienced It
“Heh….”
This wasn’t the first time Jinny had barged into my room.
So I was confident I wouldn’t panic.
“Reina, let’s take a bath together!”
That confidence would have held—if Jinny hadn’t already been naked and sitting in my bathtub.
“…Why are you bathing in here?”
I pressed my fingers to my forehead as I asked.
Splash.
The sound of water. I tried not to notice.
“I’m making a potion! But I couldn’t find a jar the right size, so I’m using the bathtub instead!”
“And…?”
“I wanted to shower, but I can’t use the tub, so I was stuck! That’s why I came here!”
That didn’t explain anything.
“You could just go to the large bathhouse.”
“I don’t want to show my beautiful body to other people.”
“…….”
“And there are too many tall people there. It puts me in a bad mood.”
So it was fine if someone shorter than her—with a smaller chest—saw her? That was the implication.
“The shower’s working fine, isn’t it?”
“I like soaking my whole body in the tub!”
I did too, but still….
“…Fine.”
I knew better than anyone that talking to Jinny was pointless. I wasn’t an eccentric, so I couldn’t understand an eccentric’s logic. All I could do was accept it.
She’ll leave once she’s done washing.
Thinking that, I turned to leave the bathroom.
Splash.
At the sound of water, Jinny suddenly stood up.
“Reina, you’re leaving without washing? Didn’t you come in because you wanted to wash?”
“I’ll wash after you’re done.”
The moment the words left my mouth, Jinny stepped out of the tub. I averted my eyes.
“Why go through all that trouble? Just wash with me!”
No. That was still a bit much….
“I’ll pass.”
“Passing is not an option!”
What?
Suddenly my wrist was seized. Then I was yanked.
Jinny was an alchemist; I was an archer. In other words, I was definitely stronger. I planted my feet and resisted so she couldn’t drag me.
Luckily I stopped her from pulling me in. But Jinny didn’t give up.
“Let’s wash together!”
She started hauling on my arm with both hands as she said it.
Do you have any idea how much strength it takes to draw a bow?
There was no way the girl who spent her days mixing potions in her room could ever drag me anywhere.
“Uuuugh.”
Did she not know that? She put her whole body into the effort, and of course I didn’t budge an inch. With my free hand I carefully pried her fingers off one by one.
That should have been a clean escape from Jinny, except….
“Huh?”
Maybe because she’d been throwing every ounce of strength into pulling me, the moment her grip vanished her body lost its balance and started toppling backward.
“Watch out!”
I spun toward her on pure reflex and grabbed her arm, then pulled hard.
Up to that point, everything was fine.
“Ah.”
Had I yanked too hard? Now my body was falling backward—together with Jinny.
Thud!
A heavy impact slammed into my head, and my vision went black.
There was someone I liked.
A girl who had quietly stayed by my side after I lost my mother and was drowning in grief. I was very young then, but I felt genuine gratitude toward her. I loved her warmth. I loved her kindness. Even if it had begun as pity, I loved her. I wanted to repay that kindness someday.
Crackling. Crackling.
It was when I was in my second year of middle school. A careless mistake by some woman set the apartment building on fire. I escaped safely. She did not. The moment I realized she was still inside, I ran back into the flames with nothing but the desire to save her. I was certain I could. I believed that if I stepped forward, she would live.
But that was a childish delusion. My effort only created more victims. In the end I collapsed without saving her. Yet I walked out without a single scratch. That was entirely thanks to my father.
I hadn’t known. I hadn’t known that my father had followed me into the fire. I hadn’t known that he had thrown himself into the flames to save me. And I hadn’t known that it would cost him his life.
The one parent I had left was gone. And it was because of me. By rushing in I had only driven my father to his death. On top of that, I had failed to save the girl I wanted to protect.
From that day on I decided: it was better if I did nothing. Someone like me couldn’t save anyone.
“Hah—!”
I couldn’t breathe. It felt like the air itself had been cut off. What was this? The pain made the world start to spin.
Then—
“Hah!”
I sat bolt upright.
“Huh?”
A wet towel slid off my knees.
“Where…?”
It was Reina’s room—my room. I pieced the situation together.
…Right. I hit my head in the bathroom.
Unluckily, something hard had been right where I fell. That must have knocked me out.
…So that was a dream.
A nasty memory I could never forget no matter how hard I tried, the one that always followed me—appearing in a dream of all things.
“Haa….”
I frowned and let out a long sigh.
In that exact moment—
“Reina! You’re awake!”
I was suddenly pulled into a hug. Jinny.
“I thought you’d died!”
Could you not say terrifying things so casually?
“I’m fine, so get off me.”
“Okay! Still, I’m glad! Looks like my nursing worked!”
“Nursing?”
I looked at the wet towel that had been on my knees. My head didn’t throb where I’d hit it. Apparently Jinny had been pressing a damp handkerchief against the spot.
I was about to thank her. Jinny beat me to it.
“I pressed the wet towel over your face really hard! So you couldn’t breathe!”
“…….”
“I figured if you felt your life was in danger you’d wake up!”
Yeah. That sure snapped me awake. Scratch the thank-you.
“Do you hate me or something?”
“I like Reina a whole lot!”
You like me so much you tried to kill me?
“If I didn’t like you I wouldn’t have rubbed healing potion and pain-suppressant potion on you either!”
Jinny said it while waving two empty bottles pinched between her index and middle fingers. Definitely potions she’d made.
“Ah…. So that’s why my head doesn’t hurt anymore.”
If I’d been knocked out cold, my skull should have been ringing with pain. The reason it wasn’t was those potions. Well, this time I was genuinely grateful. But since the whole mess was Jinny’s fault to begin with, I still wasn’t going to say thank you.
“But hey….”
“What is it?”
“Why… am I wearing different clothes?”
Right now I had on nothing but a single T-shirt. The length was awkward; if I stood up I’d be completely exposed. Naturally I wasn’t wearing any underwear either.
“The clothes you were wearing got covered in the foam that was on me! So I changed you!”
“…Who did?”
“Me, obviously! Are you stupid, Reina?”
“…….”
I already knew. I just hadn’t wanted to believe it. Jinny had seen me naked! We were both girls, sure, but still…. Complicated feelings swirled, yet Jinny had clearly done it with good intentions. So I couldn’t get angry.
“…Good job.”
“Oh, and just in case the effects wear off and it starts hurting a little, I’ll leave a few pain-suppressant potions.”
Jinny set the potions on my desk and hopped to her feet.
“…Thanks.”
“Next time we definitely have to bathe together!”
…No thanks.
Bang!
Jinny left.
And then—
Knock knock.
About thirty seconds later came a knock.
“Jinny?”
Had she forgotten something? Thinking that, I opened the door.
I had overlooked two things. First, Jinny was not the type to knock. And second….
“R-Reina. Th-that… what are you wearing? I-I can see everything.”
The fact that I was currently wearing an awkwardly short T-shirt. Without underwear.
“Ah.”
Ceryll’s eyes were locked on my lower half. Understanding the entire situation in an instant, I slammed the door shut. Then I changed clothes, went back to the bed, and lay down.
“Reina? Huh? What’s wrong?”
Ceryll knocked several more times, but I never opened the door again.
The next morning.
After a night’s sleep, even black history starts to feel like something from the distant past. On top of that it was the weekend, and there was no special training with Anin.
The only problem is that today is the day Reina gets kidnapped….
With the sacred relic in my possession the kidnapping should be fine. Still, just in case, I planned to stay safely in my room all day.
That was when it happened.
Knock knock.
Someone knocked on the door. Probably Ceryll. No one else would come looking for me.
“Whatever it is, I can open the door now.”
I decided to erase yesterday’s events from my mind. Yeah. That never happened.
Creak.
I opened the door and, as expected, Ceryll stood there.
“What do you need?”
When I asked, Ceryll smiled and said,
“Reina! Want to go into the city and hang out with me today?”
My answer was already decided.
“No.”
That was something friends did, wasn’t it? Besides, today was the day Reina might get kidnapped. I was absolutely not going outside.
“Come on, please? Pretty please?”
Even after I refused, Ceryll was persistent. Of course my answer didn’t change.
“I’m not going. Absolutely not.”
After several rounds of back-and-forth, I was the one who claimed victory. Ceryll gave up.
“…Sorry for taking up your time when you’re busy.”
Ceryll said it with a bitter smile and disappeared into her own room.
Even then I stood there blankly, still holding the door open.
Why that expression?
It wasn’t simply the face of someone who’d been rejected. It was the face of someone steeped in sadness, dyed with melancholy. It looked exactly like the face I used to wear after losing my mother.
Mom. Mother.
“Ah.”
Only then did I realize. I’d been so focused on Reina’s kidnapping day that I’d forgotten what day it actually was.
Today was the anniversary of Ceryll’s mother’s death.
“…….”
I too had memories of losing my mother. I knew how bleak the entire world had felt back then. The reason I had managed to find even a little strength again was thanks to my first love. She had simply stayed by my side, and that alone had lifted my spirits so much. Because I had lived it, I understood that truth better than anyone.
Knock knock.
In the end I chose to knock on Ceryll’s door.
“Let’s go into the city.”
Because it was the anniversary, I decided to treat Ceryll kindly today at least.
“Okay!”
Ceryll’s face lit up with a bright smile.