That's Not Clothes for Someone with a Dick!
That's Not Clothes for Someone with a Dick!
Before the actual reflection activity, all personnel from the cathedral, including us, gathered in the chapel.
When I asked Aisha, she said it was just a simple greeting before the activity.
"Hoping that today will also be a day where we can be of help to others and embrace them with love, and finally—"
"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm!"
... Hmm. Boring.
Chapssaltteok, sitting next to me, keeps nodding with sparkling eyes, but to me, it's like talking to a brick wall.
No matter what Adam says, it just sounds like the principal's lecture from elementary school, so my eyelids keep getting heavy.
It's already the fourth "finally."
Sleeping while someone is giving a passionate speech in front is a total dick move, but wouldn't nodding off be okay?
If a curly-haired Buddha wearing a Jesus robe really existed, he would understand the boredom of a mere lamb.
If he doesn't even know that, does he even deserve to be called a god?
Chik, chik-!
The moment I rested my head on my clasped hands, a familiar smell tickled my nose.
The smell of herbs.
...?
The smell of herbs?
Sniff, sniff-
"... Hey?! Don't smoke here!"
"Why, what kind of god can't even understand the urge to smoke? Just a thug bastard who only fills his own belly."
The source of the smell was right next to me.
Cheon Hae-won is spitting out blasphemous remarks along with the smoke from the Mana Herb he's smoking.
And in front of religious zealots, at that!
Because I raised my voice for no reason, the attention of the monks and Adam focused on us.
Regardless, Cheon Hae-won just kept puffing on the Mana Herb, sending a nasty look toward Adam.
Adam, who had been standing at the lectern, approached Cheon Hae-won.
"Student, smoking is prohibited in a sacred place. He wouldn't like it either."
"No, he doesn't? That bastard lived with a long pipe in his mouth, didn't he?"
"Hahaha! I've often seen such pictures on the internet too. But young man. That's a composite; I hope you don't accept it as established fact. He is pure and clean, having neither smoked nor killed—"
"He eats meat like a fucking glutton. Especially loves women's meat. And he's so good at backstabbing, you really don't know anything, young man?"
Tap, tap-
Cheon Hae-won stood up and patted Adam's shoulder.
Adam was still smiling benevolently, but perhaps because he was dumbfounded, he remained silent, only the corners of his mouth twitching.
The space is wide and there are many people, but the air is icy; we came for reflection activity, but we're about to get more disciplinary action instead.
After hearing Cheon Hae-won's shocking statement, I pulled Aisha's twin tails lightly to wake her up from her stun, then nodded to take him out.
Alright then, one, two...!
"So, sorry!!!"
"Bishop-nim, Adam-ssi? Grandfather, anyway! He's just rude, so please forgive him~!"
Seeing him let himself be dragged away quietly when he could easily lift both of us at any time, I guess this guy was scared too.
Plus, the bravado he throws around to look cool.
"Isha-ya, mutt, let go while I'm asking nicely?"
"Just shut the fuck up...! Aisha, where should we go for the orphanage?"
"The annex in the back! It doesn't take long!"
I don't know if Cheon Hae-won is letting himself be dragged or walking voluntarily.
I've never served a god, but if I were to compare it to myself, it's like the director being severely insulted.
It's no wonder, everyone is glaring at us so scarily!
"E-everyone! I'll discipline Hae-won well, so please don't be like that! Okay?"
"If Roselia-nim says so, then..."
"Sister-nim, please educate him thoroughly!"
Saint Candidate heroine is the best~!
If Aisha hadn't been there, we might have already been beaten to death by the Bibles or rosary-mixed crosses held by the believers.
After barely escaping the chapel, while heading to the orphanage, we disciplined Cheon Hae-won in our own way.
"You ignorant bastard! If you have a brain, think a little, everyone except Aisha and Adam-ssi had eyes that could kill! It's fucking scary!"
"Don't be like that~ Hae-won probably didn't know."
"How can you say that right now?! Look at him, he's covering his ears because he doesn't want to hear it even now. Ugh..."
If he were only taller, I would have grabbed his arms by force to pull them down, but since I'm not wearing a suit, I'm just barely hitting his forearms as he jumps around.
Aisha tries to soothe the aggro like she's teaching kids, but would a guy like that ever listen...
"We're here, this is it!"
"Oh... it's really clean and big..."
"Hehehe, my grandfather manages it the most diligently."
While I was just punching Cheon Hae-won's side, we arrived at the orphanage before I knew it.
They said it was in the backyard, so I thought it would feel like a small daycare, but what do you know.
A clean fountain without any moss, an outer wall filled with golden runes like the walls of the Great Cathedral, perhaps because of protection magic, and on the other hand, a large mansion sitting right in the center that looks like it came out of a fairy tale, perhaps for the children's emotional well-being.
Furthermore, unlike the city center outside the cathedral where huge shadows are cast, this place felt like they had installed some special device, allowing us to fully feel the warm sunlight.
According to Aisha, they are taking in all the children found in baby boxes or Magi Zones...
"... Your grandfather is a truly amazing person."
"It's not that much~ He used to be very strict and prickly, but around the time I became a Saint Candidate, he suddenly changed completely? His hunched back suddenly straightened, and his magic too..."
"Is there really such a thing as religious faith? Hmm... I've heard of things like the placebo effect, but it's fascinating~"
"........."
"Hm? Aisha? Aisha~"
Hwak-hwak-
Why is this Chapssaltteok acting like this all of a sudden?
Even when I wave my hand in front of her eyes, she's just blank like a robot with its power cut, and I have no choice but to pull her cheeks, and only then does she make a crying sound like usual and flap her twin tails.
"Uuuu?! You scared me..."
"Scared? What are you talking about, I was right in front of you the whole time? You were spacing out suddenly, didn't you sleep well yesterday?"
"Yeah, I guess I had a lot to think about for a moment, let's go in now! The kids are waiting for us~!"
True, as someone with the title of Saint Candidate, she must have a lot of unspoken worries.
What on earth is a Saint Candidate.
The fusion Buddha that Chapssaltteok's grandfather serves seems to be a pretty indecisive god who can't even pick one woman properly. Should I ask later?
Regardless, Cheon Hae-won twitched his nose and went somewhere else alone again.
"Hey, are you going to keep doing that?"
"The smell is less here. I'm going to go search somewhere else."
Your Mana Herb smell is the most pungent, you bastard!
Yeah, better to have him go somewhere else than let the kids smell that bad stuff.
Playing with the kids shouldn't be a problem even without a thug like that.
Playing with them until bedtime, feeding them, putting them down for naps, and playing and feeding them again, what's so hard about that.
Excluding Cheon Hae-won who ran off somewhere else, Aisha and I entered the orphanage.
And we got hit by a water bomb.
"Kya-hahaha! Flour water bomb~!"
"Pink big sister, long time no see!"
"Who's the black guy? Why is he wearing the same clothes as big sister?"
"Don't know, don't know! Just spray more for now~!"
Chwa-ak-!
"... Aisha?"
"Ahaha... I forgot to mention that most juvenile Beastmen are active..."
A whole bunch of kids with features of dogs, tigers, lizards, birds of prey, or insects.
I think it's amazing they're living together in small groups without eating each other.
There are also kids who look like ordinary humans, not Beastmen, but they didn't seem any different.
Now that I look, the nuns in the orphanage are also busy following the kids around, struggling.
"K-kids, you shouldn't run! Slowly indoors...!"
"It's almost snack time, so let's all go to the cafeteria— Kyaak?!"
"Ah, hello Roselia-nim, I'm really sorry for making you busy as soon as you arrived..."
Compared to the antique-looking exterior, it's a total shitshow inside.
Still, there are about thirty kids in sight... it wasn't an overwhelming number for the five of us, including me and Chapssaltteok.
Who am I?
The right-hand man of the former orphanage director.
I'm the man called the master of making brats listen with just one word.
Jjak-! Maybe because of the wet gloves, the sound of the clap was exceptionally loud.
What's important when dealing with kids is the first impression and seizing the initiative.
I wiped the flour paste off my face and lowered my voice, making the scariest expression I could.
"Hey you rotten brats, why don't you shut your traps?"
The murmuring dies down and everyone's gaze is fixed on me.
The strategy of making them a little scared and then taking the lead, 'If you just listen well, I'll be an angel'.
As expected, it worked well.
In case there was a crying child, I spread my arms and smiled gently.
"Did I speak too harshly? Hyung won't get angry if you guys don't cause trouble, so please treat me well from now on—"
Poong-!
"Who are you~!"
"Acting cool when you're just a kid yourself?!"
"Hyung, my ass, that's not clothes for someone with a dick!"
"Don't know, don't know, throw everything you've got! Make him all sticky!"
"Isha unni, prepare yourself too! You brought the black guy, so it's collective punishment!"
"Wait, time out... Ugh-pak!"
"Hiyaat?! You guys mixed slime in again, didn't you! How many times did I tell you not to—"
Peopung! Pung!
"Kya-hat! Hit him, hit him!"
... Director, are you watching.
The kids I have to take care of this time are much tougher than our kids.
They don't listen for shit, and the flour they mixed in here would be enough to make dozens of bowls of sujebi.
It seems it's the same here, that you can't only take care of good kids.
Sigh, what can you do.
Just do what I always do... gotta work hard.
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'Ugh... it's hot and sticky, the feeling is weird...'
'Well... it's a relief they don't seem to be starving.'
So what if they don't listen, health is what matters most.