Help Me, Mr. Anon
Hey.
Lately a bunch of newbies keep asking what's on the 10th floor, so I'm writing this up.
I'll cut straight to it — starting from the 10th floor, we get to meet Victor.
Who's Victor? He's a merchant who shows up every 10 floors of the Tower, and one of the very few friendly NPCs in this place.
Just think of this bastard as one of the only rays of light in this godforsaken Tower.
Anyway, Victor's a merchant, so he sells pretty much everything.
Designated skill books, Unique-grade items — I think he even sells Legendaries, though I haven't confirmed that myself.
But obviously, since he's a merchant, you need money to buy stuff.
Broke as hell? No worries. Victor even takes barter.
Oh, don't want to hand over gear you've been using? That's fine too. Victor literally deals in anything.
My personal recommendation is to try bartering with the corpse of the floor boss you just carved up.
Yeah, he takes that too.
So basically, every time an Awakened clears a 10th-floor milestone, they're guaranteed at least one item.
What you pick is up to you, but I'd strongly suggest just asking Victor for a recommendation.
This guy is seriously unreal at finding custom-fit items tailored exactly to you.
And there's exactly one thing you need to watch out for here.
Once you've sweet-talked one nice item out of a boss corpse, do NOT spiral and try to barter more.
"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Victor. Well, you may call me Victor, or Merchant, or Vic — anything you like, really."
The masked man calling himself Victor prattled on with exaggerated gestures and an over-the-top delivery.
"Now even a clown shows his face. How far we have fallen."
My head was already killing me, and now this noisy pest had to show up too. Just what did this damned Tower want from This seat?
"Haha, a clown? Now that's a title I've never heard before. Quite all right — call me whatever you please, dear customer."
Even faced with a razor-edged tone, Victor didn't flinch in the slightest. If anything, he looked even more delighted.
Don't tell me he's the type who enjoys being insulted…?
The unpleasant thought sank my already foul mood even further.
"Begone, clown. This seat is in no mood."
Ordinarily This seat might have indulged such clownery as a mild diversion. Right now, however, there was not a shred of humor to be found.
"Ah, but that simply won't do. Have you ever seen a merchant just walk off without selling a single thing?"
"You, a merchant? A passing dog would laugh."
A merchant who wore a mask, grinned, and rolled up to a battlefield in a carriage. Apparently the bar for an ordinary merchant had risen considerably.
"Well, there are no passing dogs around here, you see."
Victor peered about with an exaggerated sweep of his head.
"Do you mean to trade wits with This seat?"
This seat clenched a fist tight.
"Should This seat so choose, swatting you aside would be no trouble at all. Care to test that?"
"No, no — I have absolutely no intention of fighting a customer."
The moment This seat casually raised a fist, Victor waved both hands in a frantic blur.
"I always put the customer first. The customer is king! That's my motto, you see."
"This seat has no intention of buying anything."
"Aha — but making something out of nothing is also my motto."
"And if This seat has no wealth to offer you?"
Money This seat had in abundance, but there was little reason to believe outside currency would hold any value with the likes of him.
"That corpse over there is more than enough for me."
Victor pointed to the body of Kerrurk I sprawled behind him.
"So. This seat took you for a clown, yet you were an undertaker all along?"
"Well, trying to make a living on merchant work alone is awfully rough in a place like this."
Victor offered an awkward little smile.
"Then put out your wares and be gone."
"Aha, the customer prefers a swift transaction? Excellent. Allow me to present a custom selection perfectly suited to you."
With that, Victor slipped out of sight into his carriage.
"Not this one. Not that one either. Hmm, this one's a bit ambiguous."
Presently a great racket of rummaging erupted from inside the carriage. Assorted odds and ends came flying out, only to be snatched back in by Victor's hand, over and over.
"What in the…"
Everything that tumbled out of the carriage was grotesque beyond measure. An orb wreathed in an ominous aura was the least of it — mixed in among the lot was something hideously writhing that could not possibly belong to any living creature of this world.
"Ah, this should do nicely!"
With a thunderous crash, Victor emerged from the carriage with an armful of goods.
"Here we are, customer! Sorry to keep you waiting. I've brought items perfectly matched to you."
"And what is that."
A sharp throb lanced through This seat's skull. It hurt. An impulse to smash something — anything — surged up without warning.
"I imagine these will all be firsts for you, so allow me to explain them one by one. First up — the Compendium of Meridians and Acupoints."
Victor held up a battered old book with a flourish.
"A very famous volume, you know? Read this, and you'll be able to perfectly identify the location of every acupoint in the human body!"
"A worthless book."
The positions of the acupoints — the vital points — This seat had long since mastered. There was no hobby here of reviewing what was already known.
"Ah— oh? Is that so? Ahem. Then, next!"
Victor trailed off in visible fluster and hastily snatched up the next item.
"Next we have the Hundred-Lotus Flying Daggers! Rumor has it they were once wielded by the very founder of the Myriad Heavenly Blossom Rain technique!"
"Flying daggers. Does This seat strike you as one who would wield such puny weapons?"
This seat held no particular disdain for flying daggers. But the martial art of This seat — Heaven-Shattering Boundless Art — was, from its very foundation, poorly suited to them. Its purpose was to pulverize the opponent through overwhelming internal energy, plain and simple. Flying daggers, typically forged small and light for throwing, simply could not contain that savage force. In short, the Heaven-Shattering Boundless Art and flying daggers were utterly incompatible.
"Ah… um."
Apparently he hadn't expected even this one to be rejected. Victor's dismay was plain to see.
"Th-then how about this? Black ceremonial robes said to have been worn by disciples of the Heavenly Demon Divine Cult…"
"Enough. All of it is worthless."
This seat cut him off; listening any further had become intolerable.
"This seat can no longer play along with your clown act. Just what are you?"
If his purpose had been to enrage This seat, then congratulations were in order. He had achieved that goal magnificently.
"Ah… um. This shouldn't be happening."
Victor's eyes rolled behind the mask, as though the present situation defied all comprehension.
"Ah!"
Then, as if struck by sudden revelation, he clapped his hands together with an exaggerated smack. That gesture was profoundly disagreeable.
"So nothing will satisfy you until you have thoroughly mocked This seat."
Very well. As you wish.
This seat gripped the blade and drew up the internal energy from the dantian.
"I finally understand what the customer truly needs!"
Victor hurriedly pulled something from his robes.
"What is this?"
From the instant This seat laid eyes on the object he'd produced, concealing the displeasure became impossible.
"Does This seat truly look like some little brat to you, simply because of this appearance?"
If so, This seat's fist would thoroughly renovate that rotten notion from the ground up.
"No, no — how could that be? I, Victor, stake my merchant's honor that I would never do anything to harm a customer, not for a single moment."
Victor shook his head with a look of deep injustice.
"Then what possible meaning does this object hold?"
This seat glared at what Victor had offered and issued a warning.
A shabby rabbit doll. A crude wad of stuffing fit only to be pressed into the hands of some little girl.
"It is precisely the item the customer needs most."
Victor rubbed his hands together and smiled obsequiously.
This? The item This seat needed most?
"What a joke."
"Why not take it, just to see? Consider yourself fooled for a moment."
Victor thrust the worn doll right up under This seat's nose.
"No."
Just looking at it felt like a drop in intelligence. The moment one took hold of such a thing, one would surely feel the defeat of being human. This seat had not the slightest desire to so much as touch it.
"Come now, come now. Don't be like that — just hold it once and you'll see the difference."
The bastard forced the rabbit doll toward This seat.
"You little—"
So he insisted on crossing the line. Fine. As you wished.
This seat swung the blade at him on the spot. Having wanted to destroy something anyway, there was not a shred of mercy in the strike.
A sharp whistle cut the air—!
But the blade, swung with full force, cleaved nothing but empty space.
"What?"
This seat had lost track of his movement? This seat? To a mere clown?
"Swinging a weapon about so recklessly — how dangerous! Here, here, just take this."
"Wha—!"
The voice came from behind. This seat whipped around, but it was a step too late — Victor had already pressed the worn rabbit doll into This seat's arms.
"You son of a—"
The moment the doll settled against her chest, the headache that had been crushing her skull vanished as if it had never existed.
Me?
And one thing more. She could finally recognize herself as Lee Jihan again.
"What on earth…"
All she'd done was hold a single doll, and the worms gnawing through her mind had evaporated in an instant. She was left completely dumbfounded. Was this a dream?
"Well, customer? Isn't the effect rather nice?"
"What is this thing?"
She looked down at the doll in her arms and asked.
"Ah, at last the product has piqued your curiosity. The name of that item is none other than What Should I Do When I Can't Sleep? Help Me, Mr. Rabbit."
"Excuse me?"
What did he just say? Had she misheard?
"Ah, shall I repeat it? What Should I Do When I Can't Sleep? Help Me, Mr. Rabbit."
"…Are you serious?"
No joke — it actually had a name that insane?
"Most people just shorten it to Mr. Rabbit, of course."
Victor grinned at her, gums on full display.
◈ Official name: What Should I Do When I Can't Sleep? Help Me, Mr. Rabbit. Maintains the user in a perfectly rested state at all times.
◈ P.S.: There appears to be another hidden effect.