Real-Life Troll Crackdown, Part 4
Forum users are, by nature, unpredictable wild cards. Therefore, if you tell them, "Absolutely do not do X," they will inevitably look at you with a crooked gaze and ask, "Why?", "How come?", "Are you trying to keep all the good stuff for yourself?"
"I should have written the announcement more carefully."
I should have added some reverse psychology magic phrase like, "Absolutely go outside."
Of all things, I had drawn everyone's attention by spamming bans in a gallery that was already burning hot. While that successfully spread the word about the wanted criminal reporting contest...
"I didn't want this kind of side effect."
The moment they saw the prize of "3 food items of your choice," their eyes had rolled back. The very gallery users who refused to go outside even when begged to stop rotting in their rooms and get some fresh air had now voluntarily marched out of their houses.
"These green-minded frogs," I muttered.
Except they were as venomous as poison toads.
Even when I left comments here and there, pleading, "It's dangerous, so please avoid searching for them," and "Please go back home and just browse the forum," they completely ignored me.
"Even if you warn them further, they probably won't listen," Reina said.
She was exactly right. If you told them not to do Option 1, they would twist it and do Option 2. Conversely, if you told them not to do Option 2, they would double down on Option 2. That was just how gallery users were.
But...
"What if they get hurt or die?"
It would be a loss for them, and a loss for me. Not to mention, their grieving families would come after me, furious that I had hosted such a contest.
"But so many people have already left their homes," Reina pointed out.
"Sigh."
Of course, it was great that they were actively participating to capture the wanted criminals. I just wished they wouldn't put themselves in danger in the process.
"Ah, right!"
A great idea struck me.
Once casualties began to occur in the comment section, no other gallery users dared to play around.
"Now then. I wonder how the categorization is going?"
RD1234 had volunteered to handle the verification of the incoming reports.
The sheer volume of photos and location data pouring in at an incredible speed was massive. Since many users had submitted reports on a whim even if they weren't entirely sure, a baseline level of filtering and cross-referencing was necessary.
"We can't hand inaccurate information over to the Royal Guard."
The work spanned several days.
Posts with highly anomalous facial features were filtered out using RD1234's facial recognition algorithm. By compiling cases that showed a high match rate with the portraits and shared consistent sighting locations, the final report was completed.
I reviewed the report with Reina before sending it to the Regent.
The full-scale search had officially begun.
"Pant, pant, gasp!"
"Come now, President. Stop panting so loudly. Do you want the Royal Guard to catch us?"
"I-I'm sorry, pant, gasp!"
Those whom RD1234 had categorized into Group A had been pursued day and night by the Royal Guard for the past few days. The members consisted of the Lich Master, the Alchemist Guild Master, the Merchant Alliance President, and a few of their bodyguards.
They had thought they could breathe a sigh of relief once they escaped the Kronendike territory. However, for some reason, the Royal Guard pursued them with uncanny accuracy, as if they had cast a tracking spell on them.
Of course, no such magic had been cast.
"Let us rest here for a moment. I shall deploy a vision-distortion barrier."
"T-Thank you! Pant, pant."
The Lich Master sat on a tree stump, lost in thought.
How did things turn out like this?
The moment they dragged the Finance Minister into their plans, he had believed their victory was absolute. But that was nothing but an illusion.
Were we merely dancing in the palm of the Head Mod's hand?
The Finance Minister had been on the Head Mod's side all along. And since the Regent himself had led the Royal Guard to raid them, the Demon King and the Regent must also be on the Head Mod's side.
Three individuals who could easily be called the pinnacle of power in the current Demon Realm have aligned themselves with the Head Mod?
Just what kind of trickery had he pulled to make such a thing possible?
He wanted to sigh in sheer futility, but as a being of nothing but bones, even that simple act was beyond him.
His original plan was to reach the undead territory in the Central Region of the Demon Realm, gather his forces, appeal to the anti-Demon King faction, and launch a massive rebellion.
At this rate, we will be captured before we even set foot in our territory.
They had to move as quickly as possible, keeping the heavyweights who could appeal to the anti-Demon King faction—the Merchant Alliance President and the Alchemist Guild Master—safe.
Deciding they had rested enough, he stood up abruptly.
"Let us move."
"Y-Yes, of course."
Just as he was about to lift the vision-distortion barrier...
"Hmm?"
"!!!"
His eyes met those of a hobgoblin carrying a thick backpack.
The Merchant Alliance President let out a sharp gasp and tumbled backward, but the Lich Master maintained his composure.
"Are you a herb gatherer?"
"Y-Yes, milord. I did not realize anyone was here."
"Is that so? Go on about your business."
"Yes, yes, of course, milord~"
After confirming the hobgoblin had retreated, the Lich Master glared at the Merchant Alliance President.
"Panicking will only invite suspicion."
"I-I am terribly sorry."
But they had no idea.
They had no clue that the hobgoblin they had just run into was not a simple herb gatherer, but a gallery user who had voluntarily crawled into a perilous, life-threatening zone just for a bite of food.
About an hour later.
"M-Milord."
"What is it?"
"The Royal Guard is pursuing us!"
"H-How are they tracking us so accurately? We clearly shook them off!"
The wanted fugitives, attempting to escape through a valley, found their path blocked by Royal Guards emerging from the front and both sides. They couldn't retreat, either—that was the direction they had just fled from.
Realizing he could no longer escape while dragging these deadweights along, the Lich Master acted swiftly.
"Damn it!"
"Milord! Do not abandon us!"
"Aaaargh! I surrender! I surrender!!!"
Using his magic, he broke through the encirclement alone and fled. His fleeing figure was so pathetic that he looked nothing like a grand elder of the Demon Realm, and even his carefully prepared backup plan had gone up in smoke, but survival was his top priority.
Head Mod, you bastard, I will make you pay!
Vowing to one day repay the humiliation he suffered today, he ran with all his might.
Thanks to the gallery users' chaotic "Walking into the Demon Realm" grand operation, the situation was practically resolved.
A few perilous moments had arisen, but because they had handled things with surprisingly quick wits, no actual rescue requests had been made.
"You all did a great job."
I compiled the cases where arrests were confirmed and distributed the rewards. With that, a peaceful daily life returned to the gallery and the Demon Realm once more.
"Well, I suppose it's not entirely peaceful."
Though things had settled into a lull, the war between humans and demons wasn't over yet. Even so...
"It's about time for lunch."
A man's gotta eat.
As usual, I opened the Point Shop.
"Does anyone have anything they want to eat?"
"Ham and cheese toast!"
"I would like some popcorn..."
"Both rejected."
"Hmph."
"Eat that after we have a proper meal."
I honestly couldn't understand Liv, who tried to replace all three of her daily meals with toast, or Reina, whose hands trembled as if she were going through withdrawals whenever she ran out of popcorn.
"Toast is for a quick bite, and popcorn is a snack."
My memories of my past life as a Korean who lived on the strength of rice, along with my eating habits, flatly refused to comprehend this.
"But toast is so delicious..."
"Popcorn is delicious too..."
"Sure, it's tasty. I'm not saying I hate it. But don't you get sick of it?"
"Not at all! It's delicious every single time. Every bite feels brand new."
"It's so crispy with every chew, how could anyone ever get sick of it?"
I was utterly speechless.
"Hmm."
While I was pondering what a good menu would be, a notification suddenly rang in the administrator chat.
"What's going on?" I wondered.
I clicked the link sent by Sub-mod RD1234.
"What in the... Huh? Why is this person looking for me?"
My hunger vanished instantly.