Convenience Store Food (3)
Thud!
A loud noise echoed from the second floor. When I went up to check, I found her groaning on the floor.
"Ouch, ow, ow..."
"What happened?"
"I fell out of bed while sleeping..."
Last night, Reina had thrown a massive fit, screaming that she didn't want to go home. Left with no choice, I had told her she could stay for just one night. I set up a spare room with a bed frame, mattress, blanket, and pillow, but it seemed she had rolled right off it in her sleep.
"Shouldn't you be heading home soon?"
"Huh?"
"Your mother must be worried. And I heard the Succubus Queen has a ton of daughters, so your older sisters are probably worried too."
"I-I-I'm fine! I usually just lock myself in my room and rarely go outside anyway... They probably don't even know I'm gone."
Well, that was a bit depressing. Still, I had no intention of letting her live here forever. It wasn't like we were incredibly close, and besides...
She's a real-life girl.
For a corner-dwelling, forever-alone, anti-social, loser forum addict like me, dealing with a real-life female for an extended period was way too much pressure. So I was hoping she would leave soon.
Reina stared intently at my face, then suddenly hopped up as if a brilliant idea had just struck her.
"O-Oh, okay! I'll go back."
"Right. Good choice. You can always visit again next time."
Pitter-patter— She dashed out, opened the front door, and stepped outside.
But then.
"Whew... Wait, what?"
Click!
The moment she shut the door behind her, she swung it right back open and walked back in.
"H-Head Mod, I'm here!"
"...What are you actually doing?"
"Y-You said I could visit again next time, so I came back immediately!"
Smack!
Before I knew it, my right hand was facepalming.
"That's obviously not what I meant."
"But technically, I didn't do anything wrong, right?"
She was truly a succubus, always finding loopholes in contracts and promises. Well, with the Gallery Barrier active, there was no way Reina could lay a finger on me anyway. And honestly, living alone in this massive two-story house was a bit lonely.
"Sigh, fine. Do whatever you want."
"T-Thank you!"
And just like that, the spare room became Reina's.
"Huh?"
Was it just my imagination? I could have sworn something flashed in the corner of the bookshelf. Eh, probably nothing.
As the Head Mod and Reina began their bizarre, pseudo-cohabitation, and while the forum was in the middle of a massive troll-reporting festival, a blood-drenched battle was raging on the central front.
From the central highlands to the vast forests stretching out on either side, both sides clashed relentlessly across all fronts. In particular, the Allied Forces, anticipating a massive offensive, launched a fierce assault to clear out the key strongholds of the Demon King's army. In this vast woodland known as the Mern Forest, elf and human rangers were deployed to sever the demon army's supply lines.
"D-Damn it!"
"Run! It's the humans!"
Before the rangers of the Ared Empire, who were lightly armored and highly trained for rapid movement through forests and mountainous terrain, the demon supply transport soldiers—who had barely received any proper training—fell helplessly.
Thwip!
An arrow flew past, barely missing. Laen, a simple 27-year-old rural youth, threw away his cumbersome sword and shield and dove into the thickets to hide.
His senior officer had been hit in the leg by an arrow and left behind, and as he ran blindly, his subordinate had vanished as well. Though he miraculously managed to escape the humans' pursuit, he was left utterly bewildered.
"Where on earth am I...?"
In this vast, endless forest where one couldn't even tell direction without a proper path, Laen was completely lost.
On the morning of the second day, Laen finally regained his composure and accessed the Gallery. He had a few copper coins on him, so he planned to buy some food from the Point Shop. By sheer stroke of luck...
"A convenience store food section? Is this a new release?"
The exact moment he logged on, the Head Mod had just restocked the daily supply of lunchboxes and triangle kimbap. The prices were more expensive than the sausage bread, which cost a single copper coin, but...
"Whatever. If things go slightly wrong, I'll either die or get captured anyway. Might as well spend these coppers while I can."
With that thought, he quickly purchased a Jeyuk lunchbox, a Tuna Mayo Triangle Kimbap, and a Bulgogi Triangle Kimbap.
"Whoa, they sold out in an instant."
Feeling incredibly lucky, Laen began to wolf down the lunchbox. It contained precious meat and a strange, fluffy white grain he had never seen before. With every bite, pure happiness spread through his mouth.
On top of that, he ate the soft, savory Tuna Mayo, and the dark-wrapped yet sweet and salty Bulgogi Triangle Kimbap. Having starved for the past few days due to poor supplies, he was practically weeping tears of joy.
"Thank you, Head Mod."
Since he couldn't determine his current direction, he just bowed his head toward what he guessed was the northeast, where the Head Mod's territory lay.
As the sugar hit his system, Laen grew calm. He began searching for a trail, and when he finally found one, he was able to estimate his rough location. However...
Whoosh!
Thud!
"Eek!"
He had let his guard down too early and was spotted by human rangers. As he bolted, he suddenly remembered a post he had seen on the Gallery about a beastman user who drank an energy drink and ran like crazy. He quickly purchased a can of Hot Seven and chugged it while running.
His heart rate skyrocketed, his eyes snapped wide open, and his body temporarily forgot all fatigue, flooding him with an unbelievable surge of energy.
"Let's goooo!!!"
After running up hills like a madman and diving headfirst through thorny bushes, he finally succeeded.
"Pant, pant, pant."
He had successfully shaken off the human rangers.
Having escaped the forest and returned to his unit, Laen bowed deeply toward the northeast, where the Head Mod's residence was located. Then, he wrote a brief post on the Gallery detailing his miraculous experience. For a while, his notification bell kept ringing, but Laen was too busy with his duties to check.
On the other hand, there was Laen's subordinate, Hoot, who had gone through a similar ordeal. He, too, had been lucky enough to get his hands on a Jeyuk lunchbox, but...
"Surrender."
Before he could even unwrap it, he was cornered by human rangers. As he seriously contemplated, Should I just take one bite and die?—
Thud!
"Ugh!"
He was struck from behind by another ranger and collapsed.
"N-No... Not that..."
"What is this thing that he's clinging to so desperately?"
"No idea. Looks like some food I've never seen before."
"Should we try a bite?"
"What are you men doing!"
"C-Captain!"
A stern-looking officer with a long scar on his cheek appeared and stopped the soldiers.
"Hmm. A strange food contained in a thin yet sturdy container... This might be related to the Gallery."
The Gallery was a matter of grave national security. Thus, Hoot was dragged to the rear along with his lunchbox, where he was interrogated about the item.
"What is this?"
"It's called a... lunchbox..."
"A lunchbox? This is nothing like any lunchbox I know. Speak the truth! What is it?!"
"It's... Jeyuk Bokkeum. It's a food that only the Head Mod sells in the Gallery Shop."
"The Head Mod?!"
The Gallery and the Head Mod. When the two most sensitive words in the imperial army slipped from the prisoner's mouth simultaneously, the captain realized this was no ordinary matter. He immediately sent the prisoner and the spoils to the Ranger Commander.
"Something related to the Head Mod? This came from his shop?"
"Yes, sir. In fact, with the Gallery becoming so famous lately, even the nobles in the capital are showing immense interest in Gallery items. Did you know?"
"So it's that valuable?"
"Yes, General. Some of these food items can be preserved for a long time, so capturing even one is enough to make a fortune."
Hearing this, the commander ran his fingers over the plastic container. Indeed, it was thin, light, yet sturdy—perfect for holding food.
"The surface is quite cool. It must have a preservation spell cast on it."
Having reached this conclusion, the Ranger Commander interrogated Hoot a few more times the next day before ordering, "We are heading to headquarters. Bring the item I told you to secure."
"Yes, sir!"
They set off for the Allied Forces Headquarters.
Corruption was rampant among the imperial forces on the front lines. Because the Commander-in-Chief kept the Hero—who possessed supply-summoning abilities—by his side, anyone who failed to stay in his good graces would receive low-quality supplies, and only as a last priority.
The ranger unit had suffered severe losses in materials, equipment, and manpower over the recent battles. Therefore, they needed to flatter the commander to cover up their failures, secure abundant supplies, and show enough "sincerity" so that the commander would report their "great achievements" to His Imperial Majesty.
Hehehe, everything is going to work out perfectly this time.
They had acquired a Gallery Shop item, something the capital's nobles were dying to get their hands on. And not just any item, but a highly coveted new release. Although humans could enter the Gallery, they were subject to a racial ban, meaning they couldn't purchase anything from the Point Shop.
"Commander!"
"What brings you here in the dead of night?"
"I have something to present to you, sir."
They unloaded ten wagons worth of captured spoils, gold coins, and demon army supplies in a corner of the headquarters. Then, carefully uncovering it from the thick cloth that hid it from prying eyes, the Ranger Commander presented the Jeyuk lunchbox to the Commander-in-Chief.
"This is that highly prized Gallery item, sir. And it's a new release that came out just a few days ago."
"Oh?"
"According to the feedback on the Gallery, the taste is absolutely exquisite. The prisoner we captured even fought to the end, declaring, 'You can take my head, but you will never take this lunchbox!'"
It was a highly exaggerated report, but the Commander-in-Chief, Duke Hillis, was thoroughly pleased.
"Thank you! Thanks to you, I get to try something like this!"
"It is my honor, sir! Hahaha!"
Meanwhile, there was a woman tied up in the corner, staring intently at the scene.
"Huh? A convenience store... lunchbox? Ugh... my head...!"
"Your Grace, the Hero seems to be acting a bit strange."
"Ah, don't mind her. She summoned more supplies than usual today, so she's probably just exhausted. Leave her be, and she'll quiet down soon enough."
"Don't... eat... it..."
"I have no idea what she's muttering. Can you make any sense of it?"
"Aren't all beings from other worlds like that? Hahahaha!"
A lunchbox left at room temperature in the hot, humid summer weather. The Hero knew exactly what it meant to consume such a thing.
How... how do I know that?
The tragic woman, who had forgotten even her own name, clutched her head in agony as fragments of familiar yet foreign memories flickered in her mind.
"Thanks to you, I had a wonderful meal. The flavor was quite unique—is that the signature of a Gallery product? Well, it wasn't bad at all."
"I am glad it was to your liking, Your Grace. I shall take my leave now!"
"Yes, go on."
And the very next day.
"Y-Your Grace?!"
"Aaaaargh!"
The Allied camp, which had been preparing for a massive offensive, was thrown into absolute chaos. The news quickly reached Aredria. In the middle of a council meeting, the Emperor asked in a trembling voice:
"...What? Repeat that. Say it again."
"Duke Hillis has collapsed, screaming in agonizing pain."
A few hours later, a new report arrived.
"Duke Hillis... has passed away..."
Headquarters used a transmission magic tool to send several unusual items found in Duke Hillis's tent to Aredria.
"Summon the mages to investigate! Immediately!"
The enraged Emperor roared. The court mages could find absolutely no signs of curses or necromancy.
"We find no traces of any curse, Your Majesty."
However, a reaction came from an entirely unexpected source.
"T-This is...!"
"Gallery Surveillance Director? What is it?"
"This is the 'Jeyuk lunchbox' that has recently been trending in the Gallery, Your Majesty."
"A lunchbox?"
A product sold by the Head Mod of the Demon Realm Gallery. The sudden death of the Imperial Commander-in-Chief on the central front. A lunchbox container found among his personal effects. As all these dots connected in an instant...
"HEAD MOOOOOD!!!"
The furious Emperor flew into a raging fit.
"Ah, right."
While lying on the sofa and browsing the Gallery, it suddenly occurred to me that I had forgotten to post a warning. Reina, who was sitting next to me, tilted her head.
"What's wrong?"
"The lunchboxes. You have to eat them immediately once you get them. It's not like people have refrigerators here, so keeping them for too long is bad. But what if someone forgets and tries to eat it later...?"
"Oh, come on, Head Mod. It literally has a warning printed right here: 'Consume immediately upon opening.'"
"Still, just in case."
So, I wrote a pinned announcement.
Eat the lunchboxes immediately. It's summer, so if you leave them out, they will spoil. You could literally die of food poisoning.
"Ugh."
Fortunately, it seemed none of the forum dwellers were that stupid.
"Head Mod, Head Mod."
"What?"
"Take a look at this."
Reina showed me a post she was reading.
(Photo of the chaotic Ared Imperial Army camp)
(Video of the Ared Imperial soldiers talking)
Duke Hillis, the Commander-in-Chief of the Allied Forces, is dead.
The Demon King's intelligence unit had warned us to stay on high alert because a massive enemy offensive was expected soon.
But now, all hostile actions from the enemy have ceased, and they've completely gone on the defensive lol.
But the cause of death is hilarious.
(Official document released directly by the Imperial Court)
(Zoomed-in screenshot of a specific section)
Apparently, the Head Mod poisoned a 'Jeyuk lunchbox' to assassinate him.
This is official info from the Ared Imperial Court lol.
It's just them throwing a tantrum and condemning us, so no need to read the whole thing.
"These bastards are at it again."
My head throbbed. Forget poisoning the enemy's Commander-in-Chief—I was a beta male who couldn't even kill a cricket in the house out of fear that it might jump on me. And they thought I poisoned a lunchbox, cleverly orchestrated a way to hand it over to the enemy commander, and carried out a targeted assassination? Meanwhile, the forum dwellers were already beating drums, clanging gongs, and shouting "Long live the Head Mod!"
The only person who would believe me was...
"...Reina, you believe me, right? You've been living with me, you know what I'm really like. Right?"
"...Head Mod."
Reina lowered her head for a moment. When she looked back up, she said:
"To turn the tide of the war in a single move... You truly are amazing..."
"No, I said it wasn't me!"
Please, just believe me...