Chapter 2
Chapter 2
I was going to sleep.
For real. Since I had even posted the teaser notice, the bait would ferment on its own over the next three days, so I laid my hundred-and-twenty-year-old body down on the bed. Today was the day a thirty-year calculation finally ended. On a day like this, one really ought to get some sleep.
I closed my eyes.
Five minutes passed.
'......I wonder how many comments have been posted by now.'
Ten minutes passed.
'I wonder if Humans Are Bugs-nim's keyboard battle is over by now.'
At the fifteen-minute mark, I kicked off the blanket and got up.
I can't stand being curious. If there's an incurable disease even after living a hundred years, this is it.
In the first place, it was because of this disease that I dug into magic, because of this disease that I observed dimensions, and because of this disease that I created the gallery.
I placed my hand on the crystal ball.
As soon as I connected, what caught my eye was the Real-Time Best.
A hall where posts with over 500 recommendations were automatically promoted. It was a feature I created a few years ago that had rarely been used, but right now, an unfamiliar post was pinned in the number one spot.
The recommendation count was jumping in real time.
【Legend) Complete Summary of the History of Fixed-Nick 'Humans Are Bugs' Getting Triggered (Warning: Long Post)】
Author: Anonymous (Floating Nick)
I got hit with reality while reading the overall review comment section for Train to Ulsan today, so I'm summarizing it. These are the footsteps of the greatest laughingstock born of this gallery. Warning: long post.
■ 1st Trigger: The Gem Price Undercut Incident
Origin: Bug-nick uploaded verification flex of a ring.
Progression: Former appraiser Floating Nick enters. "The craftsmanship is decent. But at market value, it's 800 gold at best."
Result: Preserved the original text of the party's reply.
"800 gold????? Your discernment must be worth 800 gold. That ring is an artifact of the fallen ancient Balkan royal family, and the artisan who crafted it left behind only three pieces in his entire lifetime before dying, with the only surviving one being mine, and in the first place it is not something that can be measured by such an inferior concept as market price......"
(Twelve sentences omitted below. Original text attached below)
■ 2nd Trigger: The Archaic Tone Incident
Origin: Typo pointed out in a review post.
Party's clarification: "That is not a typo, but ancient era grammar. You ignorant fools."
Floating Nick: "You write 'super freaking fun' in ancient grammar?"
Result: 32 consecutive refutation comments.
■ 3rd Trigger: Today's Train to Ulsan Review Incident (Currently Ongoing)
Everyone's seen it so I'll skip it. Even as I write this post, the party is refuting in real time in that comment section.
■ Overall Analysis
Average trigger detection response time: 3 seconds.
Sentence length when flying off the handle: 4x compared to normal times.
Cool act sustainability duration: Until a single Floating Nick comment is posted.
That is all. I will continue to update the data.
"......Pfft."
I didn't know there was a historian in this gallery.
The comment section was already a festival.
└ Anonymous: What's with this level of data organization? Are you a royal scribe?
└ Humans Are Bugs: I correct this. First, I have never been triggered. Second, the expression 'flying off the handle' is an obvious distortion; I have merely refuted accurately at a consistent speed at all times. Third, that appraiser talking about 800 gold didn't even have the eyes to discern the seal of Balkan craftsmanship in the first place—
└ Anonymous: Response speed 3 seconds, just measured in real time. It's science.
└ Anonymous: 3 seconds hahaha
└ Anonymous: Don't they know that the speed of refutation is already a confession?
└ Humans Are Bugs: Speed and being triggered are unrelated. For an intellect of my level, immediately demolishing your nonsense is only natural, and the fact that it took as long as 3 seconds was because I was in the middle of drinking tea.
└ Anonymous: Drinking tea and still a 3-second cut lol. Then is it 1 second normally?
└ Anonymous: Triggered triggered triggered triggered
└ Humans Are Bugs: Pretending to poke at me does not mean I am triggered. Even at this very moment, I am extremely serene, and while I am serene, to add a fourth item—
I put fresh water on the kettle.
Sleep was out of the question.
Every time I refreshed, another refutation comment popped up. The sentences grew longer and longer, and the item numbers had crossed 11 before I knew it. A table of contents was forming in the refutations.
I checked the time. 2:30 AM.
'......Why on earth isn't that person sleeping?'
I might be staying up to watch, but why is that side staying up all night? Ah, right.
Because she's triggered.
I held my steaming teacup and settled comfortably into my chair.
At the same time, in the southern part of the continent.
A volcanic region marked on human maps not by a name, but simply as 'The Mountain Where You Die If You Enter.' Deep underground in its lair, gold coins were piled up like mountain ranges.
At the peak of that mountain of gold coins sat a woman with crimson hair.
Her polymorphed human appearance was that of an absolute beauty without a single flaw.
However, right now, her vertical-pupiled red eyes were completely bloodshot, and her waist-length hair was half-exploded from hours of tearing at it.
An ancient dragon who had lived for thousands of years, Kargania.
A living disaster whose mood three kingdoms appeased every year with annual tributes was currently grinding her teeth while glaring at the cluster of light from the connection engraving floating in the air.
'History of getting triggered......?'
History?
History is something written and erased in the time it takes an existence such as bon-nyeo to yawn once. How dare those bugs use such a word toward bon-nyeo!
'Fine. If you're going to come at me like that.'
I shall prove it to you.
Kargania spread all ten fingers wide. The rings fitted on each of her fingers shone brilliantly under the light of the magic lamps in the lair.
Among them, she thrust the problematic ring on her index finger—the one with the double-headed eagle crest of the Balkan royal family engraved inside—in front of the observation magic of the engraving.
Light scanned the ring, and the image was etched onto the engraving.
She uploaded it along with the refutation she had been honing all along.
【Verification) Real Balkan Royal Family Artifact Ring + Detailed Craftsmanship (Forbidden for those without discernment)】
Author: Humans Are Bugs
I am originally an existence who does not even feel the need for such low-class proof, but enlightening the eyes of ignorant creatures can also be called the tolerance of a dignified individual.
Look closely. At the double-headed eagle crest engraved inside the ring. This is a seal permitted only to the direct line of the Balkan royal family. Look at the delicate intaglio of every single wing feather. An artisan capable of reproducing this craftsmanship does not exist in the present era.
In addition, I shall also refute item by item regarding the filth called the 'summary post.'
First, the claim that my response speed is 3 seconds is flawed right from the sample collection method......
There were twenty-three refutation items. All twenty-three of them had footnotes attached.
Upload complete.
Kargania crossed her arms arrogantly and waited. Now was the time for the bugs to shut their mouths in front of the radiance of the genuine article.
3 seconds later. The first comment was posted.
└ Anonymous: Her hand is pretty though
└ Anonymous: What kind of life is flexing a ring at 3 AM hahaha
└ Anonymous: Is first through twenty-third for real? It's not a refutation, it's a thesis
└ Anonymous: Look at the footnotes hahaha there are footnotes attached
└ Anonymous: Hey, this needs to be added to the summary post as the 4th trigger
└ Anonymous: Already submitted the tip lol
And at that moment, a red mark floated up next to the post title.
【Legend】
Kargania's heart thumped.
Legend. Legend. Yes, finally this gallery recognizes bon-nyeo's class—
└ Anonymous: Hahaha congrats on the Legend tag
└ Anonymous: Recommendations passing 1,000, for real? Isn't that the fastest record of all time?
└ Anonymous: But if you look at the list of posts with that tag, they're all laughingstock posts lol. It's practically a Comedy Hall of Fame
└ Anonymous: The history of getting triggered is being written in real time
└ Anonymous: We are currently at the scene of history
Kwa-a-ang—!!
Her polymorph could not withstand her rage.
A massive crimson tail that tore through the back of her human form slammed against the mountain of gold coins. Hundreds of thousands of gold coins collapsed like a waterfall, jewelry boxes bounced into the air, and the crown of an ancient kingdom rolled away. The entire lair rumbled and vibrated.
At dawn that day, the three kingdoms near the volcanic region observed an earthquake of unknown origin and issued disaster warnings.
"I thought... I told you... I am NOT triggered......!"
On top of the pile of spilled gold coins, Kargania operated the engraving with trembling fingers.
Since things had come to this, there was only the last resort.
Operator Inquiry Box. Deletion Request.
【Deletion Request #1】
Target: No. 1 Real-Time Best post
Reason: Defamation.
Send. This will do. Operator will take care of it.
......No, wait. Was the reason too short? It might have looked insincere.
【Deletion Request #2】
Target: Same
Reason: Spreading false information. I have never been triggered.
Send.
......The phrase 'never been triggered' might actually invite misunderstanding.
【Deletion Request #3】
Target: Same
Reason: Correction. Regardless of whether I was triggered or not, the post in question is systematic mockery targeting a specific user......
Send. Send. Send.
As the night deepened, the deletion request forms grew longer and longer.
Before I realized it, day was dawning.
Dawn spread softly over the coniferous forest outside the window. Having binged the board all night long, I finally opened the Operator Inquiry Box.
A notification had popped up.
【Unprocessed Inquiries: 17】
"......Seventeen?"
Even when I left the gallery unattended for four months, there were only nine inquiries. She broke that record in a single night?
I checked the sender.
All seventeen were from 'Humans Are Bugs.'
The reason for the first one was just the word 'Defamation.'
Starting from the fifth inquiry, numbers began to be attached to the reasons, and by the ninth inquiry, proof of the ring's authenticity was attached.
From the fourteenth inquiry onward, the reasoning text even developed an introduction and a conclusion.
And the long-awaited 17th inquiry.
【Deletion Request #17】
Target: The No. 1 Real-Time Best post and all related posts
Reason: Thirty-seven reasons why the posts in question must be deleted
Introduction. What is the dignity of a community? I have confronted that question tonight......
The reasoning text was longer than the original post.
I read through it to the end with a reverent heart. Twelve of the thirty-seven reasons were about the ring.
"......What a masterpiece."
Delete this?
When the greatest spectacle in the history of this gallery is being completed right before my eyes in real time?
An Operator has principles to uphold. They might be principles I just made up a moment ago, but anyway, principles are principles.
Posts in the gallery are preserved unless they violate operating principles. Mockery is not a violation. That is culture.
I opened the seventeen inquiries one by one and sent the exact same text seventeen times.
【Upon review, no violations of operating principles were identified in the post in question, so the request is rejected.】
Rejected. Rejected. Rejected.
After pressing the 17th rejection, I felt somehow refreshed.
Would it be wrong to say the sense of accomplishment was greater than when I finished the thirty-year-old calculation?
Just as I was about to close the inquiry box, I saw a new petition post on the board gathering recommendations at a terrifying speed.
【Suggestion) Operator-nim, please create a 'Hall of Fame board' (Currently 2,317 signatures)】
Author: Anonymous (Floating Nick)
Tonight we witnessed a moment that will go down in gallery history. But should a legacy like this get pushed down the post list and lost? No. Masterpieces must be preserved. It's also needed as educational material for future gallerists. Sign this petition.
└ Anonymous: Signed. This is a cultural heritage preservation project
└ Anonymous: Former librarian here, preserving original records is the principle. Signed
└ Anonymous: Gotta make it fast before Bug-nick deletes the post and bails
└ Humans Are Bugs: I do not bail. And if such a board is created, I shall officially—
└ Anonymous: 3 seconds
└ Anonymous: Even at 5 AM it's 3 seconds damn, don't you sleep?
A Hall of Fame board, huh.
To be honest, it was a hassle. Building a new board requires adding a few lines of spell formulas to the engraving structure. It takes about ten minutes.
......It takes only ten minutes.
And let me think about it. This isn't harassing a specific person.
It's the preservation of records. It's cultural property management. It's the Operator's duty. Not because it's funny. Absolutely not.
Though seventy percent of it was because it was funny, anyway.
I cast the spell formula and posted an announcement.
【Notice】 Opening the new board 'Hall of Fame.'
Induction criteria: Posts with 1,000+ recommendations and user signature petitions.
Inducted posts cannot be edited or deleted.
Inductee No. 1: 【Legend) Complete Summary of the History of Fixed-Nick 'Humans Are Bugs' Getting Triggered (Warning: Long Post)】
Inductee No. 2: 【Verification) Real Balkan Royal Family Artifact Ring + Detailed Craftsmanship (Forbidden for those without discernment)】
Within 30 seconds of posting the notice, the board flipped upside down.
【Breaking News) Hall of Fame board opened hahaha】
【Operator working like a dog (High Praise)】
【No. 1 and No. 2 are the same person lol Is this a personal exhibition hall?】
【I'll call it even for diving underwater for four months with this】
【But isn't inducting the refutation post a bit cruel lol】
【└ Not cruel, it's fair. Both sides were preserved, after all】
......Yeah, fair. That's a really good word.
Outside the window, the sun had fully risen. I sipped the tea I had steeped for the third time overnight and stretched.
For the morning after finishing a thirty-year research project, it was quite a fruitful night.
Around the time the sun was drawing close to mid-sky.
The lair's mountain of gold coins was miserably disarrayed, and right in the middle of it was Kargania.
Curled up in human form, hugging her knees.
Her crimson hair was disheveled, and beneath her eyes rested dark shadows unbecoming of an ancient dragon thousands of years old.
She had stayed up all night, staring with bloodshot eyes at the engraving screen floating in the air.
The newly created board.
'Hall of Fame'.
On the first screen of the list, there were only two posts. No. 1, History of Getting Triggered. No. 2, her own ring verification post.
An entire board was bon-nyeo's personal exhibition hall.
'......'
She tried pressing the delete button.
【Hall of Fame posts cannot be deleted.】
She tried pressing the edit button.
【Hall of Fame posts cannot be edited.】
Kargania buried her face in her knees.
Should she burn it all down? She pondered in dead earnest. A single breath would erase a whole kingdom from the map.
But...... what to burn?
Engravings were scattered by the tens of thousands across the continent, and the thing called a 'board' did not physically exist anywhere.
An unburnable enemy encountered for the first time by an ancient dragon who had lived for thousands of years.
Then how about quitting the gallery?
......No way. Three days later, there would be a new screening. A screening that might be a sequel to 'Train to Ulsan.'
Not being able to watch that—that, and that alone, was absolutely out of the question.
Besides, if she were to make some kind of declaration of quitting the gallery, she would end up being treated like that 132nd quit-gallery Floating Nick. That was a humiliation far worse than being inducted into the Hall of Fame.
Kargania raised her head and reread the rejection notices in the inquiry box one last time.
【Upon review, no violations of operating principles were identified in the post in question, so the request is rejected.】
Seventeen notices. Seventeen dry notices without a single syllable different.
'......'
It was strange.
When she first read it, she was enraged by the insincerity. But upon staying up all night and reading it again, what she saw was different.
There was no mockery.
The Floating Nicks called bon-nyeo '3 seconds,' called her a laughingstock, and snickered about being at the scene of history.
Yet the Operator—not even once, not even by a single letter—had ever mocked bon-nyeo.
He didn't leave mocking comments on the summary post. He didn't laugh at the verification post either. Even the rejection notices presented only principles without emotion.
Look at the induction criteria for the Hall of Fame board as well. '1,000+ recommendations, signature petition.' He hadn't targeted bon-nyeo, but simply applied the rules.
Had he not preserved even that filth-like summary post alongside bon-nyeo's dignified refutation post side by side?
An unbiased, unselfish disposition.
Having lived for thousands of years, she had watched the species known as human. Humans either flattered in front of bon-nyeo's power, or hid where they couldn't be seen to reveal hostility—it was one of the two. There were no exceptions.
Yet that person was neither.
At that moment, as she scrolled down the screen, a notice pinned at the very top of the board entered her view.
【Notice】 Announcing the next screening.
Date: Three days later
Details: To be announced later
Three lines.
Three lines without ostentation, bragging, or small talk. How could someone announcing a screening that the entire continent waited for with bated breath be so refined and succinct?
Class. This was precisely what class was.
Those in high places do not bark. Just as bon-nyeo does not express satisfaction one by one before the tributes of kingdoms, that person does not open his mouth one by one before the clamor of bugs.
Kargania looked at the recommendation button below the notice.
Recommendations 8,214.
Her finger, still trembling faintly from the lingering effects of an all-nighter and fury, slowly moved toward that button.
Press.
Recommendations 8,215.
The ancient dragon thousands of years old murmured softly while curled up on top of the messy pile of gold coins.
"......As expected, the only one possessing true class in this gallery is that person."
In the screening three days later, I shall prove bon-nyeo's discernment once again. Right in front of that sole dignified person watching.
Arrogant vitality once again swirled in the dragon's red eyes as she curled on top of the gold coins.