The Heroes' Hero (1)
"H-Hmph! A-Anyway, you're always spouting that same stuffy nonsense…! E-Even you aren't invincible, you know! Take a break once in a while! …Tch, what if you actually collapse…!"
"Haha, thanks for worrying about me, Lavy. But as long as the citizens' cheers are with me, I will never fall."
…I did my best to hide how flustered I was and simply continued the conversation with Lavy standing right in front of me.
For starters, calling her my successor felt a little awkward given she was only five years younger than me. On top of that, that absurdly tiny "0.04 percent" suitability kept nagging at me—it was barely more than an ant's eye booger.
…Hmm, but if I think about it, Lavy is definitely a third-generation hero. Age aside, she isn't completely out of place as a successor from the generation after mine.
Besides, when I first dropped into this world—more precisely, when I woke up inside a body that had just entered the hero training facility—the status window went so completely berserk that I got discharged in a month. Lavy, for her part, was a graduate of the very same hero training school I was scheduled to give the entrance speech at tomorrow.
Of course, in my day it had been more of a boot-camp-style training camp than a proper school. By Lavy's time it had the proper name Seoul Hero Academy, an actual educational institution. Still, we were senior and junior who had trained in the same place.
Didn't that mean Lavy herself could legitimately become my "successor"…?
…Yeah. And Lavy appeared as a character in the original game too, so the possibility is more than enough.
Ahh, if only I'd been dropped into a proper manga or novel with a set protagonist and storyline…
The game I'd been playing was a mass-produced SD-character defense title with zero story to speak of. It had absolutely no useful information for situations like this. The only scrap of valuable intel I possessed was that the final boss of the game was a guy named Eternox who possessed "immortal"-grade regeneration.
I'd already beaten that bastard half to death ten years ago, stuffed him into a restraint suit, and locked him in a special prison up in Incheon under 24-hour watch. Even if he somehow miraculously escaped, my body was—penalties aside—literally invincible. Honestly, even if I starved myself for three days and fought him one-handed, I could still crush him without breaking a sweat. He was that much of a pushover. There was nothing left to worry about regarding him.
…Hmm, the information I've been given is still way too thin. But seeing that the possibility of taking on a successor has opened up, it looks like I'll be able to keep creating successor candidates like this and keep raising my retirement chances higher and higher…
…Alright. First things first, I'll test it out tomorrow at Seoul Hero Academy. There'll be a whole swarm of young new-generation heroes ready to take my place once I get there.
"Haa…? Even for Smile, if you keep pushing yourself too hard something big is eventually going to happen, you know? …How can you still be saying the exact same thing you said during the school attack seven years ago? …Well. Still, that is very you, so I guess I like it."
"Hahaha! You're still terrible at giving compliments. You used to be a little more honest."
"Sh-Shut up…! Th-That was forever ago! A-Anyway! Eat this or throw it away, I don't care…!"
While I rapidly sorted out my plans for the future, Lavy shoved the lunchbox she had packed herself into my hands and grumbled some more.
Seven years ago, when Lavy still went by the name Seo Su-a and attended school, a bunch of lunatics had stormed into Seoul Hero Academy—a place crawling with retired pro heroes—and I'd been nearby to save her and the other students. Both then and now, her prickly personality hadn't changed one bit.
…Back then I figured it was just puberty and didn't think much of it. I never expected she'd still be like this after becoming an adult and a pro hero.
…Hmm, from what I've seen she talks casually like that to older heroes too. Maybe everyone's just used to it because she's that strong…?
Or maybe, since this was decades into the future from the Korea I'd known, social customs had loosened up a little on that front.
I'd spent every single day for fifteen years doing nothing but eating, sleeping, and hero work. Even after all that time in this world, I still didn't fully grasp those tiny cultural differences. Honestly, ever since leaving the training facility I barely had five minutes to spare for conversation with anyone—like the lady earlier who tried not to take money for the kimbap. Living a life somewhere between a machine and a slave, when exactly was I supposed to study the minute changes in Korean Confucian culture?
…But when she was even younger, she used formal speech just fine and was as honest as any other kid her age.
So I tried to recall the thousand paper cranes that ten-year-old Lavy had carefully folded with her little hands and placed inside a washed glass beverage bottle as a gift about a month after I'd saved her from that fire. They were still under the bed in my cramped goshiwon room even now—
"H-Hmph! A-And another thing! Don't tell me you still have those…? How long are you going to keep remembering something from that long ago…! Y-Your room's tiny as it is, just throw them away already…!"
…Her face had turned as red as her own eyes. Still clutching the lunchbox, Lavy whipped her head away from me.
"Hahaha! A gift packed with that much heart? Of course I still have them. And how could I ever forget that day, Lavy? You're my precious first fan, after all."
Well, the real reason I remembered was also because Lavy was the first original-game character I'd ever met. Her hair and eye color had been so distinctive, and her ability was fire just like in the game… Thanks to that, I'd been able to confirm that this really was the world of the game I'd been playing.
"H-Hmph…! W-Well! A gift belongs to the person who received it, so if you refuse to throw them away that's your business…. A-Anyway! Are you going to eat this lunchbox or not…!"
Lavy seemed desperately embarrassed by the black history of her childhood. She jabbed the lunchbox she'd made into my stomach like a spear while she fumed. Of course, that anger was only surface-level; the odds that she was actually mad inside were zero percent.
Because—
"Hahaha! True enough. I couldn't possibly refuse a lunchbox packed with care by my first fan. I'll gratefully dig in!"
"…Haa?! Wh-What! Are you an idiot? I-I already told you my meal plans with my friend got cancelled so I'm giving it to you…!"
"Haha, but the fact that it's a carefully packed lunchbox doesn't change. Look, the rice even has an egg blanket over it. And it's shaped like a cute little rabbit."
…No matter how much she grumbled and acted angry on the outside, the heart that received that lunchbox didn't hurt even a little.
The status window that constantly butted into my life with advice possessed flexibility amounting to half a grain of millet at best. If the feelings poured into a gift aimed at me were even slightly less heavy, if the care put into it fell short by the tiniest bit, or if the budget for the gift exceeded the limit by even a little, it would mercilessly squeeze my heart without hesitation.
So the fact that my heart stayed perfectly fine even after receiving Lavy's "gift"—the lunchboxes she occasionally showed up with under various excuses—meant the weight of the heart packed inside was heavy enough that even that ill-tempered status window acknowledged it.
…And looking at how there was zero pain at all, the story about having an appointment in Seoul was probably a lie too. She'd really raced all the way from Incheon to Seoul just to give me this one thing.
The status window was ridiculously strict about me receiving anything from others. The fact that it stayed silent even after I accepted a lunchbox packed full of side dishes and even fruit for dessert meant it was something that couldn't have been done without pouring an enormous amount of care into it.
So yeah. No matter how much she always grumbled and acted like she was in a foul mood, Lavy—who worried about me living on nothing but instant ramen and occasionally showed up during hero work to hand over lunchboxes so carefully made that even the status window couldn't complain—was, one way or another, a really good kid.
Well, of course she was. Someone like that would choose a job like being a hero in the first place.
"Hahaha! Anyway, whatever the reason, I've received a lunchbox packed full of heart. I'll gratefully enjoy every bite!"
"…H-Hmph. Do whatever you want. I-I didn't put that much care into it or anything."
"Haha, sure. Let's just leave it at that."
Ehehe! Jackpot either way. There's a mountain of spicy stir-fried pork right next to the rice, isn't there? Hmm, the smell's a little weird, but who cares! Hehe, how long has it been since I ate actual pork instead of cheap sausages!
Chomp—!
"Hmm…? Hey, this isn't spicy stir-fried pork, is it…?"
…At that moment, even though the smell had been a little off, the thick red sauce had hidden it well enough that I hadn't paid much attention. I'd figured it had just gone slightly bad while she carried it from Incheon to Seoul and took a big bite of the meat.
(My stomach could digest rocks if I chewed them, after all.)
…The area around my heart—which would stay perfectly fine even if it took a direct hit from an intercontinental ballistic missile—started thumping little by little, and a familiar pain slowly began to settle in.
"Huh…? That's beef bulgogi. Kids these days don't really eat soy-sauce seasoning, so young moms apparently add a little fire-chicken sauce sometimes. I figured I'd try it too. You like kid snacks like that pork cutlet, don't you? Kimbap with no vegetables, cheap sausages, that kind of junk food."
Chomp!
"…A-Ah! Th-That doesn't mean I made it with your tastes in mind or anything! I-I just wondered why you like that stuff so I wanted to try it myself…! Ugh! S-So I'm absolutely not—"
Squeeze—!
"Guh…! Lavy, you…! Why the hell would you put red sauce on beef bulgogi…!"
…Damn it! Why is some rootless cooking method like that even trending? Don't tell me this is another change in Korean food culture I completely missed because I only ever eat ramen and run around busy all day…?
Have Koreans who've been pickling themselves in spice for so long finally ruined their taste buds enough to use fire-chicken sauce instead of soy sauce on bulgogi…?!
"Hic…! Wh-What the hell is wrong with you?! It's not even that spicy, so why are you suddenly clutching your heart…! D-Don't tell me something hurts?! S-See, I've been telling you not to overdo it since forever!"
Ding!
A ‘Hero’ does not seek reward for their good deeds. Furthermore, a ‘Hero’ never shows any sign of pain in front of others. A ‘Hero’ must always remain as steadfast as a mountain.
Squeeze—!
Guh…! You damn status window, if you were going to do this you should've warned me when I first accepted it…! How the hell was I supposed to know whether it was beef or pork…!
Squeeze!
"Guhhhh…!!"
"N-No! Get up, you idiot! Hic! H-Hurry, call an ambulance! Call an ambulance right now! No, I'll just carry you to the hospital myself…!"
A Hero never shows the pathetic sight of being carried away by a woman.
Squeeze! Squeeze—!
D-Damn it…! Even so, why does it hurt this much over a simple lunchbox…!? D-Don't tell me this wasn't just regular beef—was it hanwoo…?!
"Hic! Hic…! I-I'm sorry! I-I won't say mean things anymore, s-so please just don't hurt! Hic! First we have to get you to a hospital…!"
A Hero never makes anyone cry.
"Guhhhh…!! N-No! I'm not in pain—"
Squeeze—!
…Damn it! Now that I know how this cursed hero life works, tomorrow I'm going to that school and retiring as fast as humanly possible!
Guh…! Once I get there, there's got to be at least one kid who fits the bill for a successor…!
…No, even if there isn't. Whatever "true hero" this status window wants, I'll create one myself and deliver them on a silver platter!
Grit—!
Fifteen years of this damn hero nonsense is more than enough! Successor or whatever it is, tomorrow I'm finding one for sure…!