When Do You Think People Die?
Today was an absolutely fantastic day.
The fancy new mattress that had arrived yesterday turned out to be about ten times fluffier than I had imagined. That alone had jacked the quality of my sleep up several whole tiers. Then there was the kitchen on the first floor, stocked with delicious food I could grab whenever the mood struck me. But those were nothing compared to the truly massive stroke of good fortune that had arrived this morning—something that dwarfed every other happiness put together.
Ju Eun-ha, having felt her own shortcomings, throws herself even harder into training.
Through the training she has repeated until now, all of Ju Eun-ha’s stats have permanently risen.
Current Successor Suitability of Ju Eun-ha: 2.3 percent
…That was it. The second I cracked my eyes open from a short nap, that damned rectangular window—which never did anything but nag—had delivered news so good I wanted to leap out of bed and celebrate.
“Heh-heh-heh! I figured it’d go up on its own if I just left her alone, but I never expected it to climb this fast! At this rate… maybe I could even retire before the year is out…?”
Ahhh! Just as I thought—when you’re dealing with a field you know nothing about, you should never stick your clumsy hands in and ruin everything. Leaving it to the experts was always the right call. Until now I’d simply assumed the teachers at the hero academy would take care of my number-one successor candidate, Ju Eun-ha, perfectly well on their own. Ever since I captured Strong, I hadn’t even met her once—I’d just left her to her own devices. And yet in that short span her suitability had shot up this steeply…!
If she just kept growing like this, I could finally ditch this hero nonsense exactly the way I’d dreamed, pick a far better job, and coast through the rest of my life on the fame and popularity I’d already piled up.
Heh-heh-heh! On my first day of retirement I’m sleeping as much as I want! I’ll roll around in bed all day doing absolutely nothing, then get up whenever I feel like it and start thinking about what I actually want to do…!
Ahhh…! Once I threw off these wretched hero shackles, how freely would I soar through this beautiful world? That nightmare stretch of pure obligation with zero rights would finally end. The day I stepped out of the cage for the first time… it would be incomparably grander than the overwhelming emotion I’d felt at the guard post on discharge day, only a few months before I got dumped into this damn world.
That’s right…! Now that I can finally see the end of this hellish lifestyle, I’m going to give it my all and keep saving citizens today too! Just a little longer and the world where I can flop down and sleep whenever I want will open up!
Ahhh, if that dreamlike world ever arrives…!
I will never again go anywhere near those filthy villains who gnaw away at the city’s peace!
Because by then I won’t be the unpaid hero “Smile,” forced to sprint out like a slave the moment anything goes wrong. I’ll just be the free man “Do Hyul,” who can roll around in his room and get up whenever he damn well pleases!
“Heh-heh-heh! All right then—I’ll chow down first and start the day with the usual city patrol!”
Vrrrrm—
But right then, just as I was about to kick off the day by grabbing a slightly cooled yet still ridiculously delicious beef steak from the unlimited buffet that had appeared on the first floor a few days ago—a buffet the entire goshiwon worshipped like a gift from the godlike, still-unknown landlord—
“What the hell is this…? A duel challenge?”
…Along with a text that looked like something straight out of an old classic-movie duel scene—complete with the vibe that a pair of nunchaku might be hidden somewhere—came a summons from the angelic landlord who had, over the past few days, showered every single resident of this goshiwon (myself included) with all these benefits.
Sizzle—!
“H-hmph. You’re here? Sit down over there for now. It’s almost done.”
“…I came because you called, but what is all this? And what’s that giant smoke hood for?”
“Huh? Can’t you tell just by looking? I’m grilling meat. And of course I put up an exhaust hood—I can’t go bothering the neighbors.”
“Yeah, I get that much…. But is there really a reason you have to use your ability for it…?”
The rooftop Lavy had called me up to….
In front of the clean little rooftop apartment she had finished renovating in a single day and started living in a few days ago, Lavy stood waiting. She wore a cute apron with a pocket and held a big pair of tongs, charcoal laid out under a large outdoor grill. For some reason only she knew, she was lighting the fire with her own ability and cooking meat over it—a thoroughly bizarre sight.
“H-hey! Wh-what…! Why are you looking at me like that?! Doing it this way makes the heat way easier to control, so it tastes better…!”
Sizzle sizzle—
“A-anyway! There was a lot of it, so I figured I’d treat you as thanks for protecting me from Eternox back then. I called you up thinking maybe we could eat together if you hadn’t left yet. The food downstairs is all hotel delivery, so it cools off and loses flavor by the time it gets here….”
Whoosh—!
“W-well…! If you don’t want any, you don’t have to eat….”
Her face flushed bright red. Lavy scratched her cheek, looking thoroughly embarrassed, then continued—though a smudge of black soot from the charcoal still clung to her pale cheek.
“I-it’s just… last time it looked like you didn’t really like beef, and I happened to be grilling chicken and seafood, so I thought of you and called you for a second. …Ugh, these are good ingredients—it’d be a waste to just throw the leftovers away.”
…She only noticed the charcoal mark on her cheek a moment later and started frantically hunting for a wet wipe, all while still fretting that the meat might burn. The look on her face said that if I turned around and left without eating, she would drop the tongs and burst into tears on the spot.
What is this? Did she really go through all this just to feed me…?
…Honestly, just watching that clumsy kindness made my heart feel all warm. It was a different kind of emotion from the way she had bought the entire goshiwon just for my convenience.
And even after knowing Lavy for the past fifteen years….
Even though I’d spent every waking second buried in hero work without a moment to breathe, seeing that this little kid had somehow already grown into a twenty-five-year-old left me feeling strangely complicated.
…Looking at that pure face, I could still believe she was fifteen.
If I hadn’t been a guy whose mind was still in his early twenties, transmigrated into a fifteen-year-old body, and if I hadn’t watched her grow up from a snot-nosed brat… I might have actually lost it and confessed on the spot, she was that adorable.
…Well, the memories of her as a little kid were still stuck in my head, so there was no way I’d actually fall for her.
…Haa. Anyway, I can’t exactly refuse and walk away from this. I’ll just eat a little chicken and some veggies.
Of course this was different from the buffet downstairs—Lavy had prepared it just for me. (And she’d even called it “thanks for protecting me from Eternox.”)
That damned status window would definitely squeeze my heart a little, but it was chicken, not pork. How bad could it really be?
After fifteen years of having my heart kneaded every which way, a little pain like that was something I could endure while eating.
And looking at all the supermarket packaging piled nearby, there was no way these were some fancy free-range chickens that cost tens of thousands of won apiece.
Yeah, so I’ll just avoid the seafood and pick out some corn, mushrooms, and chicken. Lavy used her ability and grilled all this with care—there’s no way the sincerity inside is lacking.
So, placing my trust in Lavy’s thoughtfulness and in the hardworking poultry farmers who definitely weren’t charging more than ten thousand won per bird, I accepted the chopsticks she hurriedly held out—clearly terrified I might refuse.
“Hahaha, all right. Then I’ll gratefully dig in.”
I picked up a piece of chicken that was practically dripping with charcoal aroma and exploding with juice, and popped it into my mouth.
Squeeeeeze!
A hero does not expect compensation for his activities.
Ugh, shut up, you bastard. How am I supposed to refuse in this atmosphere?
As if it had been waiting, the status window—which had kept its mouth shut lately about all the perks I was enjoying, thanks to Lavy’s not-quite-threat that she might yank every “investment” out of this building if I ever moved—clamped down on my heart hard enough that, back in the old days, I would’ve grimaced on the spot.
Heh-heh. But I can just grit my teeth and push through this much now.
Squeeeeeze—!
“S-so… how is it…? I-it’s at least edible, right?”
“Hahaha! ‘At least edible’? This is the best chicken I’ve ever tasted in my entire life.”
“Eep…! D-don’t exaggerate! A-anyway! So it’s good enough to eat…?”
“Hahaha! Yeah. The heat control is perfect—it’s really delicious. And these mushrooms are incredibly chewy too….”
Squeeeeeze—!
“…Hhk!”
But then—
I didn’t know much about mushrooms to begin with, and ever since coming to this world the only ones I’d eaten were the tiny dried scraps in instant ramen or the poisonous ones I’d safely scarfed down while living in the mountains, trusting my iron stomach. (Which is why I never casually offered anything to Lavy except for potatoes I could clearly identify.)
So when I glanced at the supermarket packaging piled nearby and casually assumed these were just the side-dish mushrooms you get at a pork-belly place, I chewed a few bites… and in that exact moment—
A hero never seeks such “expensive” gifts as compensation for his activities.
“H-hmph! Those are pretty rare, so chew them thoroughly. They’re matsutake mushrooms grown on Seoraksan. These days the natural habitats have shrunk a lot, so they’re hard to get.”
A hero’s good deeds are all the more valuable precisely because he does not seek reward.
Squeeeeeze—!
“…Ghhkk!!”
“H-hey! Wh-what’s wrong with you?! Did something happen to your body again…?!”
Just when I’d let my guard down because the status window had seemed a little more flexible these past few days, the notifications hit me—and with them came the most horrific, bone-chilling sensation my heart had felt in years.
A hero, no matter how much pain he is in, never shows it in front of others. A hero must always be a being who plants faith and peace of mind.
“…Hhk! H-how badly has your body broken down for you to act like this…!”
“Ghhhkkk…!!”
A hero never collapses. Even if he meets death fighting an evil person, he must stand tall and display dignity.
Thud—
“S-Smile…!!”
A hero—
I looked back and forth between Lavy’s face, tears dripping down as she stared at me, and the status window spouting its usual garbage.
Thump—
And just like that, I lost consciousness and collapsed.