Chapter 88
Chapter 88
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 88
Chapter Title: Heheheh. A Freshmen-Only Overnight Beach Trip? Gonna Turn It Into a Fucking Inhumane Retreat!!!!
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I was waiting for Seol Harin so we could head to school together when I spotted Kuma.
She'd been grabbed by some male student, and Kuma had this smug look on her face.
"Sister! Your aura's just overflowing with good vibes—wanna hear some great news real quick?"
"Hah? What great news?"
"I'm from the Ark Celestial Church club. Prove you're a virgin, and we'll gift you a low-grade artifact!"
"Hey! If you like me, just say you like me! I know damn well I'm hot!!"
"Ah, no, it's not like that..."
That Kuma girl still hadn't shaken off her princess syndrome.
Celestial Church.
A religion worshiping Constellations from the heavenly realm.
Michaela Louise was basically their priestess type.
In Academia, playing the erotic route turns the Celestial Church into enemies.
They treat sex like a sin, running around like a Unicorn Squad sniffing out virgins and virgins-to-be.
Sex as a sin...? What kinda anti-government bullshit is this in a population cliff era?
Makes you think they're descendants of 16th-century Puritans or something, but my conclusion?
'Just a contrived setting to make 'em the bad guys in an erotic game.'
Erotic stuff is serious business in those games.
So the lore revolves around it, naturally.
But still...
Asking girls on the street if they're virgins? That's straight-up rude, right?
Even I, Kim Taeyang, wouldn't pull that!!
"Hey. Kuma. What's the deal?"
"This dumbass is hitting on me all weird!"
I pretended to listen to Kuma while flashing a wicked grin.
Leaned in close to the pint-sized zealot, draping an arm over him as I whispered.
"Hey. You really only recruit virgins? So all the bitches in your church are pure as snow?"
"Pardon? Y-yeah... But it's not just girls—virgin guys too..."
"Kuhahat! A whole squad of virgins and blue-balls? That's a free all-you-can-eat buffet made for a stud like me!! Hey, virgin dick!!! Guide this body to your cult den full of gullible pure pussies!!!! Don't worry, I won't hog 'em all after turning 'em into sows!"
"Ah, haha...? I-I've got urgent business, so if you'll excuse me..."
The virgin dude forced an awkward laugh and backed away from me.
When dealing with crazies, you gotta out-crazy 'em.
The real ones are tough to touch.
"Kim Taeyang. You just made me tired. Too many guys hitting on me now that I'm even prettier!"
"Cut the crap. It's not that bad."
"R-really? But I even got a fan club..."
Well, maybe the virgin really did have the hots for Kuma.
But from what I knew, Celestial Church folks had their libidos neutered.
No clichéd "sex-hating pervs" here—just pure, unadulterated zealots.
And leading that Celestial Church club? Michaela.
Head of the Unicorn cult.
Ark bombing attempt survivor.
There was a reason Michaela was a special heroine.
'She's the one reliable ally if you skip the erotic route.'
Artifacts from the Celestial Church play a big role in Academia's true ending.
So I needed to keep decent relations with them.
Problem was... my image as the incarnation of sex itself.
Eh, I'd sort that out later.
"Sorry! I was a bit late!"
Seol Harin came rushing up in a fluster.
"Hey, hey. Move your ass already? Don't slack off, you sow."
"I didn't sleep a wink last night 'cause I was tired... and I had to remake this name tag too."
Pinned to her chest were three name tags.
One was a normal one with her name.
Another marked her as 'Secretary Sow.'
The new one today read 'Official Principal Wife Candidate Seol Harin.'
"Call me principal sow from now on."
"Hah? I'll call you whatever the fuck I want, you hardworking eager-beaver sow!!"
"D-don't say it like that... it's embarrassing! And Kuma-s predecessor's right here...!"
"Hey. Principal sow...? For real?"
"Hmph. Obviously. Master approved it."
Wonder how much more full of herself she'll get...
But I wasn't gonna let her off easy!
Anyway.
We headed to the lab building for the meeting with the professors.
The organizer was Vice Head Shin Hye-won.
"Let's begin the summer MT planning meeting. Ark's MT isn't just a trip. It's training to build skills for handling emergencies with your peers."
That's what they say.
Second-year MTs are more like mock battles than vacations, for sure.
"Of course, first-years get a pure vacation. Location's the same: Ark Beach."
But first-years are the exception.
Generous of 'em to let the newbies have fun in their youth.
"Student Council President Kim Taeyang is a freshman himself, so he can oversee things to ensure no accidents during the first-year MT."
"Heheheh. Freshmen-only overnight beach trip? That's a prime chance for some group fusion, ain't it?"
"F-fusion...?"
Meant bonding as freshmen, obviously.
Trying to say 'unity,' but that's how it came out.
"......"
The professors shot me horrified looks.
What? Can I help it?
Words come out how they do.
Point is, word choice ain't the issue.
This MT was pretty dangerous, actually.
Do the erotic route with Kang Ju-hyuk, and it's a bad end branch point.
For some demonic reason, sex with a heroine during MT triggers a dungeon phenomenon.
Doesn't matter who.
The moment of insertion, a gate rips open, sucking you into an absurdly hard dungeon.
For my happy harem ending, no one could die on this MT.
Not even Kang Ju-hyuk.
So sex had to be banned.
One professor wiped sweat from his bald head and spoke up.
"Kim Taeyang... Just to be safe, if you get girls excessively drunk... or spike drinks... or pull any other shady shit, even as Student Council President, you'll face punishment—"
"Hah?!! What bullshit is that?!!! I'm banning all sex during MT?!!!!"
"?"
No sex on my MT.
No binge drinking either.
Anyone causing trouble gets beaten to death.
"I'm turning it into a fucking inhumane MT, so butt out!!! Heheheh...!!!"
Gonna make it so wholesome everyone has a blast!!!!!
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Michaela and some Celestial Church students had been released.
Despite serious charges of extremism, they walked because of backers.
Some professors were believers too.
Proselytizing kicked off immediately.
Unfortunately, Michaela's powerhouse allies from two years ago were expelled or graduated.
She needed fresh recruits.
"Are you a virgin? Prove it and get a gift card~ Same for virgin guys~ Pure virgins and blue-balls are Celestial Church's top talent!"
She was handing out flyers on the street when—
"Michaela. Check that out."
Luminous, the flashlight Constellation.
She pointed to Guidance Committee students posting flyers.
📜 STUDENT COUNCIL FRESHMAN MT! 📜 Location: Ark Beach Schedule: Health exercises / Physical training / Preview of key semester lectures / Beach cleanup / Free PT / Night patrols Participation Fee: Completely free! MT season had arrived.
Looked wholesome as hell, but she and her Constellation knew better.
"Kim Taeyang."
"Yeah. His scheme."
Ark's thug and current Student Council President.
The shameless bastard who stole Luminous from Michaela and swapped her batteries for regulars.
'I still haven't gotten my special battery back...!'
The rechargeable they'd shared forever—a symbol of their friendship and purity.
Without it, Luminous was stuck with long-lasting, powerful disposables.
"Looks clean on the surface, but rotten inside."
"Bet. That 'Free PT' especially."
"Yes. 'Free PT' is slang for wrecked blackout sex on Sun Ranch."
Common rumor around campus.
Free PT = utterly ruined fainting sex.
"And the location's suspicious too."
"Ark Beach on that date... definitely risky."
"Yeah... He might even know about the 'Ark Cycle.'"
"Targeting the cycle to trigger a dungeon...? That thug really the devil's minion?"
"Gotta be."
Hostility flashed in Michaela's eyes.
"Time for some re-education."
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Finals were wrapping up.
Campus buzzed everywhere with chatter.
"Should we go on a trip just us?"
"Where to?"
"Ark Beach?"
Ark Island was huge.
Ark Beach on the opposite side was a tourist spot even normals hit up.
"Student Council's hosting an MT. At Ark Beach."
Freshman MT!
Thrilling trip full of new encounters...!
Chance to make memories like a youth flick...!
—Not a single student thought that.
"Kim Taeyang hosting? Pass..."
"Scared he'll steal my girl..."
"Schedule's weird too. Health exercises? Trash pickup? Free PT?"
"Just for his sows probably. What if us normies get caught in something?"
The Student Council under Kim Taeyang was getting the cold shoulder from students!
Of course, the Council and Sun Ranch caught on and started countermeasures.
"Student Council MT's giving away iPhones as prizes!"
"Most of the schedule's free time!"
"Dropping 50 bottles of premium liquor!"
"Lottery for 20 limo rides!!"
Massive cash splash.
Possible thanks to the Seol sisters' help.
"And Kim Taeyang's not joining!"
"Student Council Prez, so he's doing third-years' MT!"
"No Taeyang...? Sounds sweet?"
Rumors Cloé spread reached freshmen ears fast.
Result?
90% of freshmen signed up.
.
.
.
MT day.
Freshmen arrived at the fantastical emerald sea.
"The ocean!!"
"Water's insane!"
"Swim time...!"
Youthful energy boiled over on the beach.
Everyone in swimsuits dove in.
"Beer in the daytime?"
"Why not! We're here to party!"
"Chug 'til we drop!!"
"Anyone for smokes?"
Pure paradise vacation.
Tossed worries aside, savoring the freedom.
"Throw the ball!"
Beach American football broke out outta nowhere.
Kids in dark sunglasses grinned competitively, hurling the ball.
"Run!"
Pumping movie OST blasted loud.
Picturesque sea.
Ripped abs buddies.
Endless booze and grub.
Pride in belonging to the world's top hero academy, Ark...!
Thwack!
Rugby ball slammed into the sand.
Kids collided chests, roaring cheers.
"Touchdown-!"
Sunlight spotlighted them like stage lights.
This moment, they weren't extras—they were protagonists...!
—Short-lived thought.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Ku-ku-ku-ku-ku-ku-ku-ku-kuwa-!!!
"Wh-what the hell?!"
"A truck...?"
Military-grade deuce-and-a-half.
Charged the sand with monstrous engine roar.
"Hey! You all having fun or what?!"
"Perfect timing. Heh heh heh."
"Join the party?! Huh?!!"
Rebel Nam's crew in the truck bed flicked tongues, yelling.
Chicken-crest haired Rebel Nam waved a massive flag, flexing presence.
"Ark Beach is now under Sun Ranch control! Hey!"
His futuristic hair, flying dust, macho-modified truck—straight outta post-apoc flick bandits.
Truck sides read:
'Park Woo-yu's Milk Delivery'
'Sow Transport Truck'
Screech!
Passenger side: blond thug.
Kim Taeyang, the coupster who'd swallowed Student Council President whole.
"Hey hey!!!!!! Beach football?!!!!! Pass it over!!!!!!"
"Kuh...?"
"Did that bastard say he wasn't coming...?"
"We got baited...!"
Taeyang ripped off his shirt and charged.
Leaped high, snatched the ball.
Whipped arm for a fastball spike.
Paaaaang-!!!
Crash!!!
Ball rocketed like a fireball, smashing the beer table.
"Hey hey!!!! Who said beer during health exercises?!!!!! Huh?!!!!!! You bitches lost your minds?!!!!!!"
'What the hell's health exercises...?!!'
Taeyang, pissed off.
Yelled down at the students.
"From now on: No booze during scheduled times! No smoking in non-smoking zones! No blasting loud music! No unnecessary opposite-sex contact!!! Rebel and get beaten to death!!!!! Got it?!!!!!!"
"Wh-what?"
"Mating ban, you horny bitches!!!!!!"
Mating prohibition decree.
Unprecedented Ark ordinance enacted.
All students plunged into despair.
'That guy's hogging all the girls...!'
'Shouldn't have brought my girl...!'
'My virginity... doomed for Kim Taeyang...'
'This is MT...?'
The inhumanely wholesome trip had begun.