Chapter 19
Chapter 19
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 19
Chapter Title: Huh? Can't You Tell Just By Looking?!! Meat Bat! Tadpole Slide!! Baby Maker!!! Cum Sprinkler!!!! Guaranteed Impregnator, Ain't It?!!!!!
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One hand shoved in his pocket, he gripped the sword at a cocky slant.
His outfit screamed like he'd just thrown on whatever was handy.
Standing all sloppy in the middle of the training field, I effortlessly sucked in his sword aura.
Schlurp schlurp schlurp schlurp schlurpsluuuuuurp!!!!!!
Commonly known as the Pacifier Suck.
I hadn't wanted to name it something so lame, but hey, Pacifier Suck it was.
Thank god this world's lore didn't force you to shout skill names out loud…
"Gaaahhh…!"
Thud.
Probably drained too much mana, because Kang Ju-hyuk dropped to his knees right there.
I sauntered over with my usual swagger and grabbed him by the collar.
"Huh? What the hell do you think you're doing?!! You even trying to fight in the first place?!!! Huh?!!!!"
Truth be told, countering the 'Pacifier Suck' was easy.
Just don't use sword aura.
Swing the sword with pure muscle power, and you won't lose any mana, right?
The problem? Pure muscle power, and I outclassed Kang Ju-hyuk completely.
"Raaagh!"
Kang Ju-hyuk swung a punch with a spirited shout.
Heroic and righteous, just like you'd expect from the protagonist.
But…
Thwack!
I caught his fist with one hand. Total weakling.
"Man, this is boring as hell…?"
"Ngh!"
"What the fuck you gonna do with that pathetic body of yours!!!!"
Crunch!!
I squeezed, and his fist crumpled.
"You bastard!!! A scrawny punk like you is a disgrace as a man!!!!"
Then I grabbed his arm.
Whoosh—
Launched him into the air and slammed him down.
Boom-!!
"Guh…!"
And that was that.
Kang Ju-hyuk's eyes rolled back white, and he passed out.
"…"
Victory for this body.
The crowd's reaction? Utterly dumbfounded.
Cloé looked pale with shock, and Vice Head Shin Hye-won was pissed, her face all twisted up.
Only Tomo-tan was grinning ear to ear.
"Gundaru-kun did it! So coooool~!!"
"Huh? Obviously he'd win, right?"
"Confidence on point! Say something to Tomo-tan's viewers! They're all Gundaru-kun fans now!"
Her smartphone screen was flooded with chat messages scrolling like crazy.
💬 Comments — Anon Gundaru-kun's form is insane lololol — Anon This guy's www way too weak wwww — Anon Official: Guidance Committee RIP — Anon Ark servers shutting down lololol — Anon Guidance Committee belongs to Gundaru-kun starting today. — Anon Yeah yeah do it! — Anon Yeah yeah!! — Anon Yeah yeah Not a bad reaction.
The weird part was all the "Yeah yeah" spam.
I was pondering what it meant when Tomo-tan clued me in.
"It means 'Oi oi'! Gundaru-kun's already a meme?"
Was Kim Taeyang getting popular online?
Obviously, nothing like this happened in the original story.
So it kinda freaked me out.
This was totally unpredictable…
"Oi oi!!! You think you can order this body around!!! Oi!!!!"
But I couldn't resist an "oi oi."
— Anon lmao yeah yeah!! — Anon Why the oi! at the end lolololol I got curious and peeked at the chat for a sec.
"Kim Taeyang."
"Huh?"
Vice Head Shin Hye-won was calling me.
Her eyes blazed like flames.
A glare so sharp, it felt like lasers were about to shoot out.
"You… used an artifact, didn't you?"
The moment "artifact" left her lips, a chill ran down my spine.
"Huuuuh?!! Got any proof?!!!!"
Oh shit.
Overreacting too hard made the artifact use obvious.
"Then what? You saying you used some mana-draining spell?"
"Obviously, right?"
"What's the technique called?"
"Pacifier Suck, ma'am…?"
"What…? Hah. Suspicious as hell. Gotta search you top to bottom. Come on!"
Shin Hye-won grabbed my wrist and dragged me off.
Probably planning to strip me in some bathroom or whatever.
I'm screwed…
What if she finds the lube I slathered on?
No way she'd make me drop trou completely… right?
*
Ark's Vice Head and a cornerstone of Korea's swordsmanship world.
A beauty with sharp features who'd gotten endless offers from showbiz.
Shin Hye-won: the terrifying sword instructor, yet the dream girl for female students and first crush for guys.
She burst into the boys' bathroom, and the guys freaked, zipping up in panic.
"All outta here! Bathroom inspection!!"
"Eek…!"
Bang!!
Shin Hye-won shoved Kim Taeyang into a stall.
Click.
Locked the door and pinned him against the wall.
Her touch was rough as hell.
"If I find anything artifact-like, you're expelled!"
"Heh heh. Getting too worked up, sis?"
"You little shit…! Shut up and strip!!"
Kang Ju-hyuk's defeat hit Shin Hye-won hard.
He was her prized student, full of talent.
She'd been dead sure he'd win…
'Losing to some no-name? Makes no sense!'
Beaten by Kim Taeyang.
He'd yelled some technique name, but it sounded like bullshit to her.
'Pacifier Suck'? What sword master names a move that?
So she was convinced.
'He's hiding an artifact somewhere! Has to be!!'
Kim Taeyang stayed cocky as ever.
Grinning down at her like it was funny.
"Won't strip? Fine, I'll do it myself!"
Her hands moved without hesitation.
Shin Hye-won's slender fingers wrestled with Kim Taeyang's ripped body.
"Progressing too fast, huh~?"
"Strip! I said strip!!"
"If you insist… Hngh!!!"
"Ngh?!"
For a split second, it flashed like light.
Kim Taeyang's shirtless torso…
'F-Fuck, it's insanely hot…?!'
It was magnificent.
Enough to make her forget her goal for a moment.
"Huh? Impressed by this body? Heh heh."
Her eyes couldn't stop devouring his insane physique.
'Perfect square pecs…! Packed with muscle, no gaps!'
Like she noticed, Kim Taeyang flexed.
"Hngh…!"
"Ugh!"
Muscles rippled like living things.
That mystical flex made Shin Hye-won stumble back without thinking.
'W-Wings on his back…? Oh! Lats!'
Lats so wide they looked like wings.
Filled out to the lower back—solid as hell.
'Shoulders like cannonballs…? Traps, bis, tris, forearms… even obliques and abs are huge!!!'
Kim Taeyang's body was an ocean of awe.
Every glance crashed waves of admiration over her heart.
'This guy's perfect! Throw him in a bodybuilding comp, and he'd wave the Korean flag worldwide…!'
Winner by default—how fitting.
Pride swelled knowing a Korean owned this physique.
"Oi, sis. Wipe your drool first? Heh heh."
"Slurp… You little…"
She wiped her mouth as ordered and kept staring.
Topless, Kim Taeyang puffed up even more.
Shin Hye-won shrank back.
Too close to that overwhelming muscle beauty.
Her own trap.
'No more getting sucked in…!'
But Shin Hye-won was top-tier.
Battle-hardened through everything.
Couldn't back down here.
"Who said you could call me sis?!"
"Oops~ My bad. Didn't know a tough-act like you was a maso begging for toilet treatment…!"
"Who wants toilet treatment?!! Call me Vice Head, you mutt!!!!!"
"Oh. That what you meant? Your eyes were too slutty, my bad? Heh heh."
"Damn…"
She had gotten hooked for a sec.
But no more slipping.
'Brat…! Think I got Vice Head for nothing?!'
Shin Hye-won steeled herself.
Time to show this punk Ark's bitter side…!
The real adult brutality……!!!
"Strip more!"
"Huh? I'm already stripped up top?"
Nothing hidden above the waist.
So what about below?
Common sense said that's where you'd hide stuff.
A normal woman might stop at pants,
but Shin Hye-won wasn't normal!
"Pants too, undies too—everything off…!"
And Kim Taeyang wasn't a normal psycho either!!
"Ah~ Belt's stuck? Mind helping?"
"Hmph…! Think that'll scare me off?!"
Shin Hye-won didn't budge.
Grabbed his belt, no hesitation.
"Ugh. Why… won't it…!"
Surprisingly, the belt was actually jammed.
Finally, she squatted in front of him and wrestled it loose.
His crotch inches from her face, but she ignored it.
The artifact had to be in there…!
Shlrk.
Pants down at last.
She tried not to look at his thigh muscles.
Admiring those would suck her in again.
But the real ambush was the underwear.
Or rather, the long shape bulging underneath.
Thwong—
Thick and long like an anaconda.
"Ugh……?!"
It was huge.
Fucking enormous.
No other words.
'W-What the hell…?!! An arm-thick thing sticking out between his legs?!!!!'
No joke, looked like 30cm.
Standing rigid, stretching the fabric long.
Could stab her face any second…!
Part of her wondered:
'Is this the artifact…?'
Never heard of a human that big.
Over 30cm?
That was horse territory, not human.
Shin Hye-won struggled to stay calm.
"H-Hah… Kim Taeyang… W-What is this? Hiding an artifact here, huh…!"
She looked up at his face.
He grinned like it was hilarious and yelled:
"Huh? Can't you tell just by looking?!! Meat bat! Tadpole slide!! Baby maker!!! Cum sprinkler!!!! Guaranteed impregnator, ain't it?!!!!!"
"G-Guaranteed… impregnator……?"
Definitely.
If this wasn't an artifact but the real deal,
one thrust, and pregnancy guaranteed.
'100%…! That size would cure infertility……!!!'
Suddenly curious.
About its true form.
Its shape.
Its smell.
Couldn't say why.
Maybe Shin Hye-won, at prime marrying age, had her instincts stolen by that monster…
Gulp—
Saliva flooded nonstop.
Sweat trickled down her body.
'Dizzy…'
Vision blurring like she'd collapse.
Like she was possessed, Shin Hye-won muttered:
"N-Need to confirm… Take 'em off……"
*
I thought I'd misheard.
'Confirm what, you psycho…!!!'
Even at Ark, no student rights?
"Hurry… the undies…"
"Oi. One taste and no going back? You'll be my slave for life??"
"I'll… handle that…"
"Oi oi. Think I go easy 'cause you're older? Gonna fuck you up brutal?? Begging won't help???"
"It's fine… Hurry……. Sluuuurp……"
"Oi oi oi. Might fuck you raw in front of everyone?? Think again??? Your career's done??? All that hard work wasted???"
"Haaah……."
"Oi oi…. Oi…."
No words left…
Absurd… oi…!
If I dropped undies now, artifact use exposed for sure.
Expulsion, world casually ends…!
"Heh heh heh."
Lucky I had Kim Taeyang's mentality.
Not scared or flustered at all.
Hell, enjoying it.
"You sure you can handle it?"
Shin Hye-won.
Her face screamed heat.
Brain too fogged for rational thought.
Cause? This body's monster dong, obviously.
Sealed her as a route, but damn, it wrecked women.
'Only way out is that…!'
Escape via the destruction dong.
But no way my isekai first time goes to Shin Hye-won, not a main girl.
She's hot, but no attachment.
So I thought of another use.
"Heh. Won't blame me if you faint from shock?"
"M-Me, an adult… faint from seeing that…?"
Obviously not from looking.
But…
'What if it smacks her?'
I focused mana there.
Gold dong for real—swelled bigger, harder.
Full-on club now…!
She's elite, but distracted and careless.
Full-power jaw shot? Good odds…!
"Hngh…!"
I yanked the waistband, building max snap-back.
Horny teacher abusing rights gets Meat Bat (Physics)…!
Knock her out with undie slingshot…!!
Dick punch!!! Dick punch!!!!