Standing Auditor
Standing Auditor
The nobles were frozen by a catastrophe beyond their wildest imaginations.
They didn't even have the time to be startled and fall flat by the thunderous roar from the massive cannon barrel.
So shocking was the result caused by the 105mm howitzer training steel shell.
The smiling face and two arms of Hapscorten, whose chest had completely vanished, dropped to the ground with a thud, following gravity.
The sight of a smiling face, just acquitted, rolling and rolling along the ground was the epitome of grotesque.
The nobles who met the smiling marquis's eyes finally felt a bone-chilling sensation and shuddered.
"Colonel, this fellow is smiling?"
"Leave him be. He must be having a good dream."
The nobles who had met Piel in social circles couldn't recognize him at all, thanks to the Ray-Ban sunglasses.
A person can maintain consciousness for up to 5 seconds even after being beheaded.
For a knight who has awakened mana, that time is a bit longer.
It varies by realm, but even a Sword Expert can maintain consciousness for over a minute at maximum.
However, they cannot speak. The connection to the lungs that push out air is severed.
But through desperate gaping, they can express the agony of having their head severed.
'Guaaaaaah!'
There is no sound at all.
But the nobles witnessed a scream wrenched from the very body of the young marquis, as his smiling expression twisted into agony on his face.
The marquis's head, looking at his collapsed body and two arms, shed tears profusely, and his mouth, from which no scream could emerge, kept gaping open and shut.
The presiding judge, the Noble Council Chairman, who met those eyes, stiffened after reading the pronunciation.
K.i.l.l. M.e.
Everyone knows.
That they must relieve the marquis's suffering.
But Hildea, carrying the massive cannon barrel on her shoulder, was looking down with apparent scorn.
No one brave enough to step forward and relieve the marquis's suffering dared to do so in front of her.
'What in the world is that magical device...?'
'I've never seen anything like that before.'
'What is it?'
Those with sharp eyes saw the shell launch at astonishing speed and blow away the marquis's chest.
The sight of scattered flesh splattering around like food packaging had burst was truly horrific.
In the end, the marquis's head stopped screaming after over a minute of suffering and despair.
Amidst the rigid stiffness where no one could open their mouths, the Noble Council Chairman finally spoke.
It was Duke Glieta.
"Count Balckenhardt.... Wh-what on earth is the meaning of this?"
"I have merely appealed in the Northern style, Your Honor the Presiding Judge."
"N-Northern-style appeal?"
"Marquis Hapscorten, after swearing loyalty to me, betrayed me when I was weary. Shamelessly, he sought to force himself on me. If I hadn't had any strength left, something terrible would have happened."
Hildea had pretended to be weakened to test the marquis, and the marquis immediately revealed his true colors.
But the Noble Council does not know this.
The constant supply tampering, the Rearmament Treaty for the north's collapse, the betrayal of the loyalty oath and the attempt at forced marriage.
Even this much didn't quell Piel's anger.
'If Hildea had just halved him with her Aura Blade, I would have regretted it for a long time.'
"S-So, therefore, the compensation order was increased to half of his territory...."
"Are you saying the crime of breaking a loyalty oath can be repaid with something other than one's life?"
"...."
"...."
A descending silence.
A loyalty oath is sacred, so no one could refute Hildea's sound argument.
Hildea had personally executed the righteous judgment that the Noble Council failed to pronounce.
That too could be called the duty of a noble.
Hildea tucked the cannon barrel under her left flank and ignited an Aura Blade with the machete in her right hand.
Whoosh!
Cannon on the left flank, aura on the right.
As she, in that brutal appearance, swept her gaze one full circle around the nobles gathered in the outdoor court, some of the faint-hearted even fainted.
The moment the muzzle pointed at them, they recalled how the marquis's chest had been obliterated and lost consciousness from the shock.
"I, the victim, have personally corrected the Noble Council's mistake. Will this become a problem later?"
The Noble Council had never once experienced this side of Hildea.
A terrifying genius Sword Master, but a commoner-born individual basking in the elation of rising in status by founding a count family.
A poor count who sent letters to the Noble Council without fail, bowing and scraping to ask for better rear supply.
But the caged beast has finally awakened to the fact that its fangs can tear apart all its keepers.
And is now glaring around, a growl slipping through its sharp teeth.
The Noble Council Chairman made a wise choice.
"...In the name of the Noble Council, I acknowledge that Count Balckenhardt's self-remedy was a just act. I am grateful that you promptly corrected the court's error, demonstrating that justice stands upright in this land."
Even at this point, the nobles, who had not yet fully grasped the reality of the situation, finally realized.
From the very moment the elves targeted a rear landing, the political landscape had already been overturned.
***
I diligently wrapped Marshall Burgers and fed them into the mouth of Hildea, who was sitting with her back to me between my knees, while showering her with praise.
"You were magnificent."
"I was very nervous that I'd make a mistake."
"But you spoke perfectly, just as I taught you. Your eloquence was wonderfully smooth."
She accepted and ate whatever I gave her so well that it feels rewarding to hold her in my arms and feed her like this.
This is seriously addictive.
"It will go down in history as a shocking debut in social circles."
"I am very pleased."
The bastards who only thought of her as a young, pretty, poor sword genius count must have had their minds thoroughly shaken awake.
"From now on, don't draw your sword recklessly and always maintain a calm demeanor. No matter how angry you get, don't raise your voice, and no kicking shins either."
"Kicking shins? Really not allowed?"
"Yes, it's not allowed. Acts of aggression must be finished quickly and powerfully to establish authority."
I want the nobles to see Hildea as a fearsome noble, not to think of her as a crazy murderer.
'At minimum, a duchy, and even beyond that....'
Oops, I almost got stained by bad thoughts again.
It's merely that I am praying for a peaceful abdication from the King, who will gain the insight that 'that girl must become king for this country to live,' by widely spreading Hildea's presence, that's all.
'Since the elves will make that happen from now on. Now time is on our side.'
"Once the official Royal Decree comes down, let's return to the north and hold a grand promotion ceremony for brigadier general. So far, we've been doing it too informally and hastily."
"I'll have to throw another big feast."
After our shocking debut called the howitzer summary execution, we didn't leave our quarters.
We holed up inside to discuss future plans and diligently supply calories.
"Ugh, Colonel Piel... I want samgyeopsal...."
"Hold it in. The smell is too strong; it'll spread all over the palace."
Hildea was already showing samgyeopsal withdrawal symptoms.
We fed her plenty of Marshall Burgers, cola, and ice cream as a substitute, but she seems to want more.
'If Hildea is this bad, I wonder if Rebecca is okay right now.'
But since Bow Masters consume far fewer calories than Sword Masters, maybe she's surprisingly fine?
When I felt that I had made the other side sufficiently anxious, I finally left our quarters.
'My body feels incredibly light, incredibly light, since I've been diligently receiving mana massages day and night.'
There wasn't a single noble who didn't know that I, wandering around wearing Ray-Ban sunglasses, was Hildea's adjutant.
As I approached the Government Palace where nobles discuss state affairs, I was immediately approached.
"Colonel-nim, His Grace Duke Glieta earnestly wishes to see you. He politely requests; could you spare some time?"
As expected, gunboat diplomacy is the way to go.
Look at this, they're already coming out this courteously.
I also put on an air of dignity and said,
"Understood. Please guide me."
I followed the middle-aged noble, flanked by Lord Deville and the young priest as my escorts.
A small pond prepared next to the Government Palace.
It's wide open on all four sides but the entrance is narrow, so it's hard to see the scenery inside from outside.
The white-haired Noble Council Chairman, Duke Glieta, greeted me by the pondside.
He was alone.
"I know it's against decorum, but Lord Valkenhart was so firmly shut in that I invited you in haste. Please, do understand."
"I am simply honored by Your Grace the Duke's invitation."
A light background check came my way, and I told him I was Hildea's vassal.
I deliberately didn't mention that I was from Anbelrum.
Well, they'll find out later anyway.
'This bastard is also a party to the Rearmament Treaty.'
One of those who tattled to Hildea about the treaty's existence and asked her to spare them.
Of course, all 17 of them did the same thing.
'They'll think we won't know because it was an anonymous letter. But if all 17 sent letters, how is that anonymous.'
"I wonder how the elves bypassed the ivory whale lake and attempted to land in the southern central region."
"It seems they decided there was no answer at all since the north is too well blocked."
"I heard they cultivated an elf forest in the Marquis Hapscorten territory? Did you perhaps also see a stump of the corrupted World Tree?"
"I don't know. We burned it all down anyway."
"I heard the firepower was so tremendous it was thought to be the descent of Bulkhanus.... I simply regret not seeing it for myself."
"Your Grace the Duke, the 100,000 men's worth of rye for 2 years, livestock for one week, and 100,000 gold that the Noble Council promised in return for support in subjugating the elves...?"
"Do not worry. The supply unit has already departed for the north. By the time Lord Valkenhart arrives, the warehouse will be fully stocked."
Perhaps because I'm colonel at such a young age, the Noble Council Chairman treated me cautiously.
I'm the door handle connected to Hildea's gunboat power, so you could call it correct conduct.
"Is the count now returning to the north?"
"Yes, since the commission is complete."
"Is that so... a commission...."
"The Commander-in-Chief regards it as a commission from the Noble Council."
"I heard you've established a positive and friendly relationship with Count Anbelrum territory."
"Being fellow women knights, her heart matched very well with Dame Elenoa Anvelrum. The Commander-in-Chief is a mood-driven person who values loyalty and honor."
All sorts of information exchange disguised as trivial chatter and probing went back and forth ceaselessly.
The Noble Council Chairman finally brought up the words he wanted.
"Does the north have any capacity? Does the count have the will to maintain a permanent garrison in the interior?"
After being thoroughly beaten by the elves, they had realized they couldn't do it on their own.
His mind must be complicated.
He doesn't want to give up vested interests, but without help, his own land will be trampled.
He needs help to survive, but while his pride can be surrendered, giving up vested interests makes his blood cry.
"Sufficient supply, I will pay a separate price. Enough to satisfy the count."
"Of course you must increase the supply. In the current situation, if even the north collapses from supply shortages, what will become of this country?"
We don't need the supply.
But there's no reason to deliberately inform the Noble Council about our supply situation.
"However, material compensation is not desired."
"The count seems to want political compensation."
I deliberately kept a beaming smile and held back my words, and the Noble Council Chairman couldn't stand it and pressed.
"Hurry and tell me."
"The Commander-in-Chief suspects that the Noble Council has deliberately neglected supply all this time. She raged and fumed, saying this couldn't be done without wishing for the collapse of the Ainshuvan Front."
Suddenly, I'm curious about this bastard's true feelings.
Is he regretting having anonymously informed on the existence of the Rearmament Treaty to save his own skin?
"Naturally, we are thinking of arranging authority for the count within the Noble Council. The majority of the Noble Council shares this view."
"If so, would it be possible to establish a Standing Inspectorate as a supervisory body?"
"Standing Inspectorate...?"
"Yes, I believe five members would be sufficient."
The Noble Council Chairman racked his brains.
"As its purpose is merely to audit whether the Noble Council is functioning properly, only two specific powers need to be guaranteed."
At the word 'two', the Noble Council Chairman's expression relaxed considerably.
"What are these two?"
"Naturally, it's not the right to propose legislation. That is the exclusive authority of His Majesty the King and the Noble Council."
His expression brightens so much he could die.
"The first is the Budget Review Authority. It's not to formulate the budget, but to look at the formulated budget and make some nagging remarks."
"That's only natural since you need to monitor the supply situation. It doesn't seem difficult. What's the other?"
"A veto power over the resolutions of the Noble Council."
That's right. I said Standing Inspectorate, but it should actually be read as Upper House of Lords.
Since this isn't an era with a bicameral concept, there's no telling what kind of storm the existence of an upper house might create.
Hildea, Rebecca, Luna, Elenoa, and myself.
These five will become the members of the Standing Inspectorate (Upper Noble Assembly), possessing veto power to nullify lower house resolutions.
'I'll let them know how destructive the veto power exercised by the UN Permanent Members can be.'
Budget review authority and veto power.
My calculation is that they'll delude themselves they've blocked us cheaply with just this much.
As it's a feudal system, the concept of a central budget is faint, so they have no feel for how far we can go with (machete-backed) central budget review authority.
"A Standing Inspectorate composed of five members. We should certainly grant that much. Please relay that they need not worry."
"Thank you."
As expected, what you use for the wrapping paper is important.
If I had called it the Upper House, it would have triggered a defensive reaction.
'I did come from a world of 8-billion-person group projects, after all.'