The Bastard Hides a Tank (1)
The Bastard Hides a Tank (1)
Our pretty tank girl is great in every way but one: she doesn't have a Blue Force Tracker.
Meaning there's no vehicle GPS device.
"Huh...? I'm pretty sure the main building was facing south...?"
"Let's just follow the road."
This is what happened because we avoided the roads to not run into anyone.
We could only avoid getting lost by moving along the roads.
"Hildea-nim, I can put your luggage in my Subspace Bracelet."
"If we travel without luggage, anyone would guess we have a Subspace Magic Tool."
"Ah, so that's the delicate intention behind it."
Having a Subspace Magic Tool means you're either a high-ranking noble or obscenely wealthy.
It would draw suspicion.
We first decided to gather some information and gauge the atmosphere in Count Anbelrum's territory.
Since the identities of the soldiers in the Dvil Unit are known, there's a limit to how well they can gauge the atmosphere anyway.
It took three days to reach the county.
It felt like it took more than a month when I arrived the first time. So this is the mobility of a Sword Master.
It makes sense why nobles terrified of assassination would desperately try to keep them posted at the front lines no matter what.
'I've finally returned.'
Seeing the Count's Castle in the distance made my heart swell with emotion.
Once upon a time, my grand ambition was to live off my noona who had become the Family Head and manage that castle....
Hildea opened her bag and began pulling out clothes.
"These are clothes to change into for our disguise infiltration."
"Oh, thank you."
My custom-made PX training wear stood out too much, so I changed into the noble attire Hildea gave me.
Hildea also came out from the other side of the tree after changing out of her military uniform....
"Umm... Does it look strange to the Colonel?"
"No, it's very pretty."
The flowing white long dress that fluttered slightly and covered her knees was quite an intense shock to me.
Come to think of it, this is the first time I'm seeing her in anything other than her military uniform.
Hildea, who looked uncomfortable as if wearing ill-fitting clothes, was unmistakably a noble young lady from a prestigious house.
She was so beautiful that if you threw her into a social circle, wolves would come running while drooling.
'If only she had the slightest bit of chest... Huh? Now that I look, maybe there's a slight hint of volume? Or is it just my imagination?'
"Co-, Colonel Piel. Before we storm the Count's place, we said we'd gather some information for a bit, right?"
"Yes, Hildea-nim."
"Acting that matches our outward appearance is essential for disguise infiltration. Do not misunderstand. From now on, we are a wealthy newlywed couple on a culinary tour of the county."
"A ne-, newlywed couple?"
"Do not misunderstand under any circumstances. It's simply the least incongruous setup for our current appearance. Wouldn't it be strange for grown siblings to be traveling together?"
A noble and a maid? A noble young lady and a servant? Siblings?
Now that I think about it, they're all weird. A wealthy newlywed couple is at least the most natural setup for how we look.
"But your appearance stands out too much, which is an issue. Won't the territory residents recognize you?"
"Hildea-nim's appearance stands out more."
"Let's just agree we both stand out, then."
"Ordinary territory residents somewhat know my face. I used to go outside to play every day."
"I brought disguise tools for that eventuality as well."
Seeing things like a fake beard for the chin, I wasn't particularly thrilled.
So I took out my Ray-Ban sunglasses and a hat from the Subspace and put them on.
"Right, you had those. It's an unfamiliar look, but it gives off an exotic vibe, which is even better."
"Even just this much, they won't recognize me."
"How many days do you plan on doing this infiltration investigation?"
"Let's do just three days."
There's no other reason why I set the period for three days.
【Budget Held: 0】
It's because my first colonel's budget comes in three days later.
No one knows what might happen once my return as a bastard is publicly revealed, so I need a hefty budget in reserve.
"Colonel Piel. And also... since our setup is a newlywed couple, let's decide to speak casually with each other."
"I'll just keep speaking formally. Let's go with me being a matrilocal son-in-law."
A direct superior casually asking to drop formalities is something you genuinely shouldn't agree to. Especially when that superior is a Four Star.
"Umm...."
Hildea looked somewhat regretful for a moment, but soon nodded.
"Alright. Let's do that, Piel."
"...."
"Wh-, why are you staring like that?"
"Ah, no. Hildea-nim...."
"Call me wife. It's not like I'm going to announce to the whole world that I'm the Commander-in-Chief of Ainshuvan."
"...Yes, wife."
"I'll call you darling too. Just so you know."
"Ah, understood."
Hildea's face was flushed red.
Seeing her face turn so hot, I suspect my own face isn't much different right now.
"Hand."
"Pardon?"
"We're a newlywed couple, and you intend to walk around separately?"
"Ah, r-, right."
When I held out my hand, Hildea cautiously took it.
Her white skin flushed completely red all the way to the nape of her neck.
It wasn't the first time we held hands.
We'd even done far more intense skinship than this.
I don't understand why simply intertwining our ten fingers like this is so embarrassing and makes my face feel so hot.
We held hands and walked the trail toward the Count's Castle.
***
We easily got through the outer castle gate using the family seal of a vassal that Rebecca had provided.
There were no incidents where guards enamored by Hildea's beauty harassed her.
Even though they were weak soldiers, discipline over public security was well enforced.
"So this is your hometown. It's really big and prosperous compared to our county. I can only imagine what you must have thought inside the first time you came to our Count's Castle...."
"It was originally a governor-general's fortress being used as a count's castle. Don't feel ashamed."
"Looking at the streets, I can really feel just how small and poor our territory is."
Hildea let out a deep sigh.
Somehow, this side of her felt unfamiliar.
Just by changing her manner of speaking, Hildea transformed from the heavy MBT Sword Master Commander-in-Chief into the prettiest noble young lady in the world.
That comfortable speech pattern....
It has the kind of taste that seems dangerously addictive.
"How shall we do the information reconnaissance?"
"There's the biggest tavern in the castle. All sorts of people gather there, from commoners to knights. Occasionally, the Count's vassals even come."
"Wow, is it a nice place?"
"It's the biggest tavern."
"I'm excited. What kind of alcohol do the people of the wealthiest county drink, anyway?"
It'd be better not to get your hopes up.
We headed toward the tavern.
It was a place I occasionally visited while hiding my identity as a bastard.
"Welco—"
The employee who was energetically greeting us saw us both and briefly stammered.
That's understandable. Hildea is unrealistically pretty.
Though that beauty came at the cost of exchanging her chest maturity.
"Th-, this way, please!"
The whole time we were guided to an empty table, I could feel the gazes of male patrons glancing at Hildea.
Somehow, my heart swelled with pride.
"For the order...."
"Two glasses each of the four best liquors. And ten of the most expensive dishes."
"Thank you very much!"
Hildea, who was sitting across from me and looking around with curious eyes, suddenly made an 'oops' expression and shot up, then quickly came and sat down right beside me.
"Hil... Wife?"
"What newlywed couple sits facing each other? We sit side by side. Like this. It's natural."
"Y-, yes, right."
Is it because of the setup?
Even though it isn't our first time sitting side-by-side, my face feels strangely hot.
Hildea wraps her arm around my waist and leans her cheek on my shoulder.
She does it so naturally, as if she's done it many times.
Come to think of it, we have done it a lot together.
'What's our relationship, anyway?'
Just as idle thoughts were about to arrogantly raise their heads, Hildea's voice pulled my mind back.
"Why does darling help me?"
"Huh?"
"I'm asking why you help me so devotedly."
"That's... because the North is my new hometown...."
"Wrong. You should answer, 'Because we're a loving married couple.' That's what fits our setup."
"...Ah."
She wasn't asking seriously?
She was just checking if I was properly immersed in the setup?
When our eyes met, Hildea grinned, and a heavy impact struck my chest.
"The food and drinks you ordered are here!"
"Wow, looks delicious."
Dishes that looked appetizing at a single glance were spread out all across the table.
I whispered into her ear.
"Don't eat all of it. You could be mistaken for Sara."
"Don't worry. I'll just taste a little of each."
And Hildea only tasted a little.
Exactly seven out of ten dishes.
She didn't even touch her fork to the remaining three.
She turned to look at me with a face of great shock.
"Why is it so... tasteless?"
Come to think of it, we did spend quite a long time in the Palanquin Official Residence.
Hildea spent her time eating things like burgers, grilled skewers, and samgyeopsal for three meals a day.
When she was at the barracks, she still had corn soup at least once a day.
'She's been eating nothing but modern sweet- salty food every day, so her palate's zero point must be completely off.'
"Sorry. You bought so much for me, but I absolutely can't eat it."
"That's possible."
It's a relief I've already ordered but not yet received so many Marshall Burgers through the supply system.
"What about the alcohol? Ptui, why does it taste like this?"
"Is it that bad?"
I took a sip too, nodded, and put the glass down.
"Huh, how did I walk around enjoying this stuff before?"
I guess my palate had been calibrated to medieval tastes at some point after the possession, too.
"It really drives home just how delicious the whiskey and Samhae Gwiju that darling gave me are."
"I'll give you some later."
I really did well to stock up on supplies in advance before blowing through the budget.
Hildea examined the merely pretty glass liquor cup from side to side with a weary look.
"The taste is really so... Drinking this really makes me feel acutely what a fine liquor that beer called Nellis White & Black is."
Now that I think about it, Rebecca and Hildea tasted the rebate beer while already accustomed to the drinks I provided.
When soldiers or territory residents who've never tasted modern alcohol drink the rebate beer....
'Damn, I should have been there to see that reaction.'
***
Hildea used her excellent hearing, and I used the directional microphone from the basic supplies to eavesdrop on other customers' conversations.
At this tavern where all kinds of talk goes around, I was hoping for some usable information....
"That woman, is she lethal? How can a person be born looking like that?"
"Be careful. It's obvious they're a newlywed couple from a prestigious noble family traveling undercover."
"But everything's nice except it's a shame her chest is small."
"Hey, that gets bigger once she has kids."
"The man is wearing strange glasses. It's so pitch black, can he even see in front of him?"
It was nothing but content lecherously evaluating and enviously talking about Hildea's beauty.
Among it, there were some blush-inducing insults that almost made me slam the table and stand up.
"Tha— Wife, are you okay?"
"Huh? About what?"
"Well, those drunkards are...."
At that, Hildea smiled a soft smile.
"Do you think this is the first or second time I've experienced people whispering among themselves thinking I can't hear?"
This is exactly that tone, isn't it?
A pretty woman haughtily smiling and saying, "How many times a day do you think someone tries to hit on me?"
"We came here to gather information. We can't let on that we're hearing everything."
"Ri-, right."
"Careful. The staff is coming."
"Yes."
Even while grumbling that it tasted bad, Hildea kept sipping the alcohol.
The food, of course, she didn't touch at all.
"I heard Viscount Potashu's territory was completely devastated...."
"The subjugation of the remaining Plant Monster individuals is also said to be finished...."
"But the Plant Monsters will keep coming over riding the Ivory Whales in the future too...."
"The areas south of the Dwein River aren't safe anymore either...."
Since we stayed crouched there for a long time, the whispering focused on Hildea's face decreased, and useful information slowly started being exchanged.
I rotated the directional microphone here and there, listening to conversations through the earphones.
Of course, the Tactical Information Terminal was recording and converting it all to text in real time.
'The county is more stable than I thought. And they've accurately grasped that Luna extracted the refugees. Even so, the lack of unrest means... the county's population is large enough to absorb it.'
The county has good weather and fertile land, so its agriculture flourishes 'by medieval standards.'
That power made it a central figure in the Noble Council.
I could also gauge just how highly the territory residents thought of the Dvil Unit.
"All of the over 100 knights are said to be at least at the Sword Expert level. And at that young age, too!"
"Good heavens... What on earth is the North like?"
Even if it's a temporary boost in realm thanks to the Mandrake Root's limited-time buff, hearing this made both of us feel proud.
***
That night.
The intoxicated Piel and Hildea took the best room on the upper floor of the tavern....
"Hildea-nim... something's on your back... hmm...."
Fortunately, Hildea was lying down with a full belly of Marshall burgers and rebate beer, so she let it slide generously.