The Real Military Life Begins at Colonel
The Real Military Life Begins at Colonel
Riding a massive palanquin borne by thousands, a domineering lord flanked by two beautiful concubines.
Yet the loyalty of the knights and soldiers seemed utterly unshaken.
The refugees realized what kind of lord they had fallen under and trembled.
'Even in the warm and prosperous South, there was no lord this authoritarian...'
And he was doing this in the food-scarce North.
Yet he controlled the military so thoroughly—just what kind of lord was he, so skilled at squeezing people dry?
In that moment, the refugees imagined the ominous future ahead and were seized with terror.
"You have endured a long journey. I, your lord, have prepared a meal for you, so eat your fill."
The lord pulled a heap of food from his subspace magic tool, and the soldiers all began boiling and heating water in unison.
The lower-ranked danseungwi nobles (administrative posts) who had been dragged along with them saw this and were horrified.
'He carries food around in a subspace magic tool meant for storing precious metals!'
'Just what kind of extravagant lord is this!'
'Ah, my future...!'
Combat rations were continuously dumped into a gigantic cauldron.
The military plastic pouches looked like bizarre foodstuffs in the eyes of the territory residents.
"Form lines!"
"This way! Line up by fours!"
"Maintain order!"
The soldiers began distributing the cooked food.
Kureha, a lower-ranked administrative noble who had been managing a vassal's fief for Count Anbelrum, also lined up with his family.
Kureha flinched when he received his portion.
"Th-this is bread with meat in it?"
"That's right. The lord-nim called it pepperoni square pizza. We are also seeing this food for the first time today, so consider it an honor."
"It's 2 per person. Even young children are no exception."
To give baked bread loaded with meat to this many territory residents in the field as a meal.
In that moment, Kureha saw the new lord—leisurely observing while flanked by his platinum blonde and silver haired concubines—as nothing but a shining light.
Kureha hurriedly settled with his family off to one side.
His young son was practically bouncing, desperate to eat quickly.
The other families who had received their portions were the same.
"Let us eat. Never forgetting to be thankful to the lord-nim."
"Lord-nim, thank you for bestowing your daily bread upon us."
"Thank you."
The moment he took a bite of the pepperoni square pizza, right after chanting a brief prayer of thanks.
The firecracker that burst in Kureha's mouth swept through his entire body.
"D-delicious!"
"It's delicious! H-how can such precious bread be given to the lowly likes of us...!"
"Dad, can I really eat both of these?"
"Yeah. You can eat them all."
"Wow, I'm so happy!"
The new territory residents ravenously devoured the pepperoni square pizza.
The bread, a mix of salty, sweet, and savory flavors, chewed effortlessly with just a light bite.
"Honey, I think this bread is made of wheat, not rye!"
"Good heavens, bread made of wheat and even baked with meat inside!"
"What is this yellow thing? It doesn't seem like meat or vegetables."
It was a small tragedy that the two people who could explain, 'Ah, that's called cheese,' were both stuck to the new lord's side right now and couldn't be heard.
"Th-this isn't even whole wheat flour! This is flour made by scraping out only the white part of the wheat!"
"What? Isn't that the extravagant white flour that even most nobles can't easily eat?"
White flour, unlike whole wheat flour, is made by completely stripping away the husk and grinding the grain.
By the standards of this era, it was a super-luxurious, extravagant food ingredient fit only for the great nobles.
Of course, the 40,000 refugees had never even laid eyes on it in their entire lives.
Chewing his pepperoni square pizza, Kureha stopped and froze stiff upon seeing the countless refugees eating the exact same food.
'He willingly feeds this precious food to so many territory residents? And he carries it around in a subspace magic tool on top of that?'
Just then, Kureha's eyes caught the soldiers who had set down the massive palanquin, all enjoying their pepperoni square pizzas.
As expected of mana-trained soldiers with huge appetites, they were happily eating while holding multiple pizzas in heaps.
"Isn't this too good?"
"So the 3rd Army bastards got to eat their fill of this delicious stuff every single day?"
"I heard earlier that the supply commander-nim brought this out for the first time today too."
"I knew volunteering as a palanquin soldier was the right call!"
"Even though we're just doing a march, he gives us heaps of delicious food every meal! Where in the world is there a sweeter assignment than this?"
The rock-solid loyalty of the knights and soldiers toward the new lord, palpable just by looking.
Kureha understood its source completely.
"Listen while you eat! The lord-nim is granting 10kg of flour per person as settlement support! It's by headcount! Even newborn babies are no exception!"
"Half will be given as flour, and half will be given as military scrip that can buy flour!"
Kureha also lined up with his family and received flour.
When he opened the sack to check inside, the pure white, fine, powdery flour boasted a radiant form.
His wife spoke as if she was about to cry, covering her mouth.
"Good heavens... it's so beautiful."
"In our previous territory, this was a precious food that only the count-nim's immediate family ate. Especially one particular illegitimate son, I heard, who was exceptionally fond of white flour dishes."
The soldiers shouted resoundingly.
"If the flour is too heavy, you can return it and exchange for military scrip! Don't worry! Once you reach the territory, you can buy it anytime at the flour exchange!"
But no one returned the flour they had received in kind.
Everyone marched with happy faces, clutching the heavy sacks in their arms.
There were no mages to cast storage warehouse magic, so the load was heavy in their arms, but everyone moved with fluttering hearts.
***
"Lieutenant Colonel Piel, this pepperoni square pizza is also delicious."
"It's good, right? Though it can't even compare to a Marshall burger, but that's because Marshall burgers are the cooking of the gods."
But my heart was heavy.
'I end up unleashing this defense industry waste bastard child with my own hands.'
Back in my active-duty days, U.S. soldiers had insisted the combat ration square pizza was definitely a product of defense industry corruption.
After tasting it once myself, I had come to agree with that claim.
This was nothing but a lump of flour and protein fraudulently calling itself pizza.
'I had absolutely no intention of ever bringing it out...'
But to easily feed as many as 40,000 territory residents in the field, this was the best option.
Since you just heat it in boiling water and peel off the plastic.
Chil-do jumbo cup ramen had to maintain its image as a field special meal, required much more water to be boiled, and was more expensive than pepperoni square pizza.
'Gotta save the budget...'
Still, seeing these two women eating and saying it's delicious, my heart felt sorry for no reason.
"Lieutenant Colonel Piel, is that true? You say this pepperoni square pizza is only half the cost of the Chil-do noodle dish?"
"Yes, that's correct."
In terms of calorie-to-price ratio, it's about half that of Chil-do jumbo cup ramen.
Rebecca also brightened up.
"Piel, Piel! Why did you bring this out only now?"
"Lieutenant Colonel Piel, from now on, when giving special meals to the soldiers, let's allow them to choose between the Chil-do noodle dish and pizza."
"I don't mind, but wouldn't everyone prefer the noodle dish?"
"The soldiers might actually prefer this one? They can eat twice as much, after all."
I felt a little choked up.
No matter what, that a defense industry waste bastard child like this should dare to compete with our proud K-cup ramen.
***
A few days passed.
We stayed on the banks of the Dwein River with the palanquin official residence set down, generously welcoming the territory residents who kept coming up.
The soldiers were happy they could eat the defense industry waste bastard child for every meal.
These days, I've acquired a new daily routine.
Hildea and Rebecca had started giving me full-body massages in bed.
"Lieutenant Colonel Piel needs to sense mana quickly."
"So we have to help diligently, Commander-in-Chief."
"Is this even effective?"
"Of course."
Upper body by Hildea, lower body by Rebecca.
Pressing firmly with both hands, knees, and feet, my whole body felt refreshingly cool.
"I'm sleepy..."
"Go on, sleep comfortably."
"Rest deeply, Lieutenant Colonel Piel."
So I slept.
When I woke up, Hildea was gone, and Rebecca was alone, on top of me, giving me a massage.
'Masters truly never get tired.'
Spending my days receiving refreshing massages day and night, medieval life without modern cultural contents seemed kind of okay in its own way?
"We will definitely make sure Piel can sense mana."
"But I really have no talent for mana."
Even when I was young, my noona diligently gave me massages, saying she'd help with my mana training.
It was completely useless.
Even the day before I left home, my noona worked hard on it, telling me not to give up.
"That's why my biological father gave up on me too."
Pressing firmly on my shoulders, Rebecca smiled lightly with her eyes.
"But actually, I think that's a good thing."
"Pardon?"
"Thanks to that, we were able to meet Piel, weren't we?"
"That's true."
"That's not something I said, it's what the Commander-in-Chief said earlier while giving the massage together."
"Ah..."
"I wouldn't cheaply steal something like this. Aren't I overflowing with the qualities of a legal wife?"
"...Where did Hildea-nim go?"
"A messenger from the Noble Council arrived. Bringing the Commander-in-Chief's new rank insignia and promotion orders."
"Finally!"
Just then, the bedroom door burst open, and Hildea strode in, profoundly elated.
The new rank insignia with its four stars pinned to her chest gleamed dazzlingly.
Rebecca chuckled, rising up and shifting off of me.
"Now, Piel. I'll be waiting in the reception room, so change your clothes and come out."
"Lieutenant Colonel Piel, change into your uniform immediately and come out."
"Yes, Commander-in-Chief-nim!"
I quickly changed into my military uniform and stepped out into the living room.
Hildea, with a machete at her waist, looked down at me more gallantly than ever before.
Ah, that dazzling four star rank insignia...
"Lieutenant Colonel Piel. As the commander, I too am pleased that my first order wearing the four stars is your promotion."
"It is an honor, Commander-in-Chief-nim."
At this moment, I did not use the title 'Hildea-nim'.
It was an informal promotion ceremony with just the three of us, but the atmosphere was more solemn than ever.
"From now on, you are a colonel. Rise, Colonel Piel."
"Colonel Piel! I accept the promotion order!"
I happily straightened the one knee I had knelt on and rose.
Hildea also patted my elbow with an extremely joyful face.
"Congratulations, Colonel Piel."
"Thank you."
"Damn, it's regrettable that I can no longer grant you discretionary promotions. The general rank has so terribly little it can do..."
"Even that sentiment alone is something I am only grateful for."
Right now, the supply cheat notification messages were going wild too.
Never before had it celebrated my promotion this intensely.
"Colonel Piel, I'm sorry, but everyone knows you made colonel now and is expecting special meals, so..."
"Yep. It's my campaign promise, so of course I have to keep it."
I opened the supply window to order pepperoni square pizza and Chil-do jumbo lunch boxes first.
But for a moment, I doubted my own eyes.
'What's this? Isn't this an error?'
【New Pepperoni Square Pizza (MRE Bundle)】
【1,000kcal】
【Budget : 1,000 units / 150】
Up to here, nothing was different from when I was a lieutenant colonel.
But a strange item was now attached to the pizza.
'Wh-what is this?'
It wasn't present on most of the supplies, including the Chil-do jumbo lunch box.
For now, this newly added option on the pizza.
【Receive 100 budget as a rebate upon purchase.】
Suddenly, a joke came to mind that the drunken US Forces Korea commander had laughingly thrown out at an active-duty dinner party.
「They say the real military life begins at colonel.」
This dogshit-tasting pizza-imitating food...
Was it really a product of defense industry corruption.
<Concerning the matter that the world of the stars glimpsed behind the curtain of the real military life beginning at colonel wasn't just shining but also dark>
**The pizza in the story is fiction, and the image is for reference only. Not related to reality.**